Nice post OP.
It was true for my mom, who cheated on my father long ago.
Yes, I'm biased, I love my father. He was and is a good man.
He provided well for us, my mom didn't work after she began having children.
We lived in new houses, in nice subdivisions, went on nice vacations, had all we needed plus much more. We were blessed.
My dad did a lot for us and my mother. He did so much for her family, for her parents, for others in her family too.
My dad bathed us three kids every night, not our mother.
My dad put us to be each night too, with our mother as it was a family thing, the dogs were in there too.
My dad did tons around the house, all the time even though he worked a lot and my mom stayed at home.
If my mom wanted it, she got it. If she wanted him to do something, he did it for her or with her, went there etc.
My dad is easy going, laid back, doesn't get his feathers ruffled, doesn't have a temper.
My dad did things though, he had a life. He played on company softball teams, on church league basketball teams, he played on men's flag football teams/leagues too.
My mom did things too, plenty of things. Many say things like stay at home mom's get burned out. Not my mom. She went to the gym daily and put us kids in the kids play place. She met girlfriends there. There was a juice bar there too so she'd go there after working out and hang out with her friends while us kids were being watched and playing in the play place.
While we were still too young for school, she put us in a mother's day out program and she'd get like 3 to 4 hours to herself while we were in that program and she'd go out with girlfriends shopping, out to lunch, to the spa etc.
Plenty of times she did both of things in the same day, meaning she wasn't watching us since we were in the play place at the gym for an hour or two and then we were at the mother's day out program for many hours.
She was also on committees at church and they met at night, after the work day as most worked. So she'd go like twice a week to church at night for those meetings.
There were days when she was a stay at home mom where she had like 6 or 7 hours without us those days, without having to watch us etc.
My dad coached little league and youth soccer and my mom wanted him to take my younger brother and me to his practices and my dad did even though it was hard for him to watch the two of us while he was trying to coach his team. But my mom wanted him to take us, so he did.
My mom's last affair partner had a really unfortunate thing happen to him. My dad knew him, grew up with him, they all went to high school together too.
My mom and dad went to a different college from this guy. While at college, this guy rode on the back of a friend's motorcycle and when he took off, this guy fell backward and hit his head on the cement (no helmet). He darn near died.
He was in a coma for a long time. He had to learn how to walk and talk again.
He was a smart kid, studying to be an engineer but his brain was forever damaged by what happened to him. He used tutors, tried to take one class at a time but it didn't work, he had to drop out of college.
He had a pot belly, he was balding, he worked for the department of transportation for the state he lived in working on the road crew.
His speech was pretty good, but there were some issues here and there. Again, it was a tough break for him, his injury.
But, my dad was in shape, always went to the gym, no pot belly, a six pack actually, a full head of hair.
This other man didn't earn nearly what my dad did, again he had bad luck with his accident and injury, but still, he didn't compare to my father.
My mother told my dad that man "got" her, understood her and my dad didn't.
About that folks. Less than two months after my mom and dad were divorced, my mom took us 3 kids almost 200 miles away, to another state so she could be with that man.
Guess how long they made it together folks? LESS than 3 months.
My dad told us kids that man "got" his mother so well that they didn't even last 3 months together once she moved to be by him.
Oh, my mom was and is greedy and materialistic, always has been and still is.
This other man didn't earn nearly what my father did.
Guess what this man said to my mother? Oh, no need to find this out from my dad as it was ME who told my dad this since it happened in front of me and my brothers.
That man had issues with his brain again, and when he and my mom were arguing one time, he told my mom that she was "a meanie and a spender" and yes that's an exact quote.
That man with a damaged brain was correct too. My mom was greedy and materialistic which he said when he said she was a spender. She was also mean in that she had no problems speaking her mind, forcefully too. She wanted what she wanted, when she wanted it. She never wanted to be told what to do, she was and is feisty and it's hard to be around her, yet somehow my dad was around for 25 years overall.
My mom wasn't dumb, she was in her late 30's, with 3 kids, with a decent amount of life experience and yet she couldn't see that the man she was having an affair with wasn't right or good for her.
She LOVED him, she was going to marry him, to move in with him. She cried over him.
Look, I get folks wanting a divorce, if my mom wanted to divorce my dad, that's one thing. But what she did, the way she went about it, the way she treated him was messed up.
And the man she chose to be with after my dad was completely wrong for her. My dad jokes that a pet rock would have known that the two of them weren't good for each other.
Guess what my mom did when that other man of hers ended things with her after less than 3 months? Yep, she got scared and she reached out to try and reconcile with my dad.
Sadly, for my dad anyway, she didn't really want to reconcile, but just use my dad until she found someone else, which she did like 7 or 8 months later.
My mom is on her 3rd husband now. My dad never remarried.
The way my mom was led to her 2nd divorce. That man, who was nice, left her due to the way she was, how greedy and materialistic she was, how headstrong she was etc.
I don't really know her 3rd husband. Why? I don't want to, I didn't even go to their wedding.
I can't imagine they'll make it long term though, unless he doesn't mind letting my mother walk all over him.
My mom was old enough, with enough life experience to have chosen a better man when divorcing my dad, but she really messed up.