Newest Member: Imthecheater

jailedmind

7 Years Later

So things were going well. Then the perfect storm hit. My WW mother passed away in Feb. The funeral is in august . I’m required to go to support my wife. I had an awful dream yesterday about wife and one of the guys she was talking to during her affair. Not the AP but a boyfriend from her past she would text when she got lonely. She met him once during her affair with the AP at her brothers place. Anyhow I woke up from my disturbing dream and told my wife about it. She hugs me says sorry yadeeda. So I’m trying to figure out these crappy feelings I haven’t had in awhile. I go do some yard work and work on some projects for camp. I come back in house and hear wife on phone to her sibling. Seems the brothers-in-law sold cottage to her old boyfriend. This happened months ago. She never told me. I’ve been estranged from brother-in-law since the affair due to the meeting of old boyfriend at his house during her affair. He lied to me about it I called him on it and we parted ways. So after I hear this wham full body panic attack. I’m hammered with going to funeral seeing both old boyfriend and brother-in-law and having to deal with that. We talked a couple of weeks ago about the funeral where she said she wanted me to be polite to brothers-in-law.. I said I would as I knew since my mother died the same year as the affair and I knew how much losing your mom hurts. I asked what about old boyfriend because he would probably show up.She said she would probably hug him and say thanks for coming. Bingo first trigger. At the time I tell her how that makes me feel. A couple weeks later we were talking about what she and boyfriend were talking about during. affair to AP.

15 comments posted: Friday, July 2nd, 2021

Our affair, Her Affair , His affair

I see some times people who are reconciling say after some time it was our affair? I don’t get that. Can somebody explain it to me? Maybe I’m not far enough out from it but after 6 years I’d think I was. I just can’t fathom it being ours?

22 comments posted: Monday, November 16th, 2020

Waywards and “Love”

WS only

[This message edited by SI Staff at 8:08 AM, October 10th (Saturday)]

5 comments posted: Saturday, October 10th, 2020

Ambivalent

My mom died of cancer one month after I found out my wife was having an affair. My wife’s mom is now facing a similar fate. I’m having a hard time finding the fortitude to be supportive for her during this. This was 6 years ago but it’s like yesterday for me. I put the face on and I say the words but in the back of my mind the voice just keeps saying “ You think this is bad? Do it while your spouse admitted to an affair and your job is at maximum stress. Then talk to me about bad.” Funny the cheaters are always first to air their grievances when the shit hits the fan. The betrayed always seem to hold the bag. Anyway the whole thing makes me feel shitty. I also really don’t want to go to a funeral because some of her siblings were supporting the affair. I’ve had little contact with them since and I will simply be grey rocks while I’m there. Affairs the gift that just keeps on giving. Anybody have some advice about going to the funeral?

12 comments posted: Thursday, September 24th, 2020

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