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Newest Member: Watermelonhigh

Off Topic :
We are falling apart here

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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 2:44 PM on Friday, April 5th, 2024

Love to you. It's a strange and humbling experience to help someone pass. I think you should do whatever your heart is telling you in the moment.

Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1340   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8832265
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 4:28 PM on Friday, April 5th, 2024

I haven't been here in ages. SOMETHING told me to check on you, specifically.

I'm here too, along with all the other people to whom you've offered love, support and friendship. May Spirit support you in this difficult time and may you find yourself embraced in the LIGHT...

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8528   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8832363
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number4 ( member #62204) posted at 4:32 PM on Friday, April 5th, 2024

I just don’t know how to know one way or the other

This can only be your call since you're his family, but this would be a great opportunity to talk with the hospice team, either the social worker, chaplain, or nurse. They do this every day and can answer any questions you have or offer suggestions on how to make your decision.

I hope you find some peace.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1333   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8832364
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:01 PM on Friday, April 5th, 2024

Do what feels right. I was with my mom and my MIL when they passed and there is a tragic beauty and absolute privilege to be there as they pass. I was not there when my dad passed, and that was okay, too. So either way it will be okay. Do what feels right balanced with making sure you take care of your UTI and yourself. Sending big hugs.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6069   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8832373
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 1:42 AM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024

It’s hard for me to know which to do. He sent me to make him a sandwich the other day, and when I got back 1 minute later, he had transitioned to unresponsiveness. I felt that was a choice. To get me out of the room.

On the other hand, in the last couple of weeks, after I was with him, getting him set with meds, water, turning him, etc….I started to leave. I told him I would be back to check on him, and he said, "Why don’t you get in bed with me". So of course I did.

Sooooooo….i don’t know how to know.

What I have been doing is to go in and out alternatively. That way I hope he will have either opportunity to take advantage of either option.

Last visit from the hospice nurse this afternoon his BP was 50/0.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8218   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8832463
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 2:26 AM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024

((((((HUGS))))))

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6069   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8832469
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Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 2:43 AM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024

(((WhatsRight))) Praying for your peace tonight.

posts: 2073   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2017   ·   location: Washington D C area
id 8832471
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 3:22 AM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024

Sending wishes for peace. ❤️

Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1340   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8832474
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 3:45 AM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024

((Hugs))

Do what feels right for you. You can call Hospice any time and ask questions. My mom was in hospice and the nurses were so helpful and understanding.

Wishing you peace.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3584   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8832476
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Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 10:24 AM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024

Prayers being offered on the night shift, for WR and family.

posts: 2073   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2017   ·   location: Washington D C area
id 8832488
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BraveSirRobin ( member #69242) posted at 12:08 PM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024

Thinking of you, WR.

WW/BW

posts: 3636   ·   registered: Dec. 27th, 2018
id 8832489
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 12:38 PM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024

Thinking of you

Our field of dreams,engulfed in fire..and I'll still see it,till the day I die..

posts: 6777   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8832490
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annb ( member #22386) posted at 12:54 PM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024

Thinking of you as well.

posts: 12181   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 8832491
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little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 2:50 PM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024

❤️ Thinking of you and praying for you and your family.

Failure is success if we learn from it.

posts: 5612   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2007   ·   location: michigan
id 8832499
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 4:51 PM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024

Sending you thoughts and prayers.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3605   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8832523
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 12:32 AM on Monday, April 8th, 2024

Sorry to go m.i.a.

My husband passed away yesterday afternoon.

I have been trying to help my boys through this. The ones at the jail went from thinking everything was ok, to him going to the hospital, to being admitted to hospice, to his death in around a week.

I am now trying to secure a furlough for them so they can go to the service.

My sister has been staying with me…and 1 of our sons.

Thanks for all the supportive thoughts and prayers.

I will try to keep you posted.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8218   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8832574
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OwningItNow ( member #52288) posted at 12:43 AM on Monday, April 8th, 2024

So very sorry, WhatsRight. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your boys. I wish I knew the right thing to say during such a difficult time, but not sure such a thing exists. Just remember that your SI family is always here for you.

(((((WhatsRight)))))

me: BS/WSh: WS/BS

Reject the rejector. Do not reject yourself.

posts: 5890   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2016   ·   location: Midwest
id 8832576
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 12:47 AM on Monday, April 8th, 2024

I'm so sorry WR.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3605   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8832577
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 1:00 AM on Monday, April 8th, 2024

My thoughts and prayers for you and of all of your loved ones. Sending you my deepest condolences. (((Hugs)))

[This message edited by BearlyBreathing at 1:00 AM, Monday, April 8th]

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6069   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8832579
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HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 1:02 AM on Monday, April 8th, 2024

Oh, my sweet, sweet sister. I am so sorry for your unimaginable loss. Continuing to keep you in my prayers.

Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4956   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8832580
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