Newest Member: SufferingInSilence


Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

Am I the only one who didn't get excited about the new Beatles song?

I don't get it.

Let me preface this with, I will always choose the Beatles in the Beatles vs. Stones camp, so I AM a fan, but I've heard this new song twice now, and it does absolutely nothing for me. There are SOOOO many other songs I'd rather listen to.

My friends on FB who have chimed in, all rave about it. I don't get it. What am I missing? Is it just a longing for nostalgia that makes people want to like it more than they should?

4 comments posted: Sunday, November 5th, 2023

A whole generation of 'Friends' fans in mourning

So sad about Matthew Perry. My kids were HUGE Friends fans. It just seems so young. I'm sure his co-stars are devastated. I really, really hope it wasn't a relapse, but as many times as he had relapsed, I guess I wouldn't be surprised.

I guess all that self-abuse could have led to some health problems.

I saw him on The View last year after he released his book, and was hoping he had worked through it.

6 comments posted: Sunday, October 29th, 2023

Enough is enough!! No longer a Novid

This summer it was my breast cancer diagnosis, then surgery. Then the move from the West Coast to the East Coast, and 16 sessions of radiation at Dana-Farber. The first weekday that I didn't have to go to DF, H ended up in the hospital with a 12mm stone in one kidney and a 6mm stone in the other. They put a stent in, got his pain under control, but couldn't do the blast procedure for a couple of weeks because he started to run a fever and they put him on antibiotics to clear up an infection. So last week he has the procedure, they place a stent in the one kidney that has the 6mm stone (while in the hospital they only stented the kidney with the 12mm stone). I've never seen him in so much pain, and he's had some really painful bike accidents that landed him on a trauma floor. Has also had a ruptured disc in his back. Tomorrow he has an appt. to get both stents out, but....

I tested positive for COVID this morning - my first time. He called his urologist's office to ask them what he should do - they told him if he tests negative in the morning, he can still come in for the procedure, but has to wear a mask. And I can't drive him - he will have to go by himself.

I was at the retina specialist yesterday for establishing myself as a new patient, and when I got home, that's when I started to feel icky. So I had to call them today let them know I'd exposed them. I mean, eye doctors have to really get into your personal space to do their exams. I feel bad.

I got my booster almost three weeks ago, so I'm hoping my case will continue to stay mildish... mostly aches and pains and tiredness. I ran a slight fever yesterday, but haven't had one today yet. Last night I told H I should test for COVID, but we agreed to wait until this morning in case it was too early to detect it. When I woke up this morning, H told me our D and her H texted him earlier and they both tested positive. All three of us are first-timers. And of course, they've got the baby to take care of. He was sick over the weekend, but they tested him today and he's negative. When I tested, that damned line lit up in less than three minutes.

I'm so damned tired of my life being ruled by health issues. I think I will use the time to watch Downton Abbey again... escape TV.

Any other NOVIDS out there?

20 comments posted: Tuesday, October 24th, 2023

Questions about safety in Israel right now

I have a high school friend who was at the tail end of 'walking the steps of Paul' tour through a couple of different countries and was in Jerusalem when the war broke out. She is with a group from her parish with a paid guide.

The day the attacks began, she posted on FB that she was safe, sheltering in place at their hotel in Jerusalem, near Gethsemane until they could get a flight out. She shared that they had a very politically savvy tour-guide and although it was scary, she felt safe. A couple of days later she posted that their original flight out of Jerusalem had been cancelled and the tour company was working on getting them out. She also shared that those who wanted to, had the opportunity to go for a walk through the garden because it was so close to their hotel. (not something I would have done, but having never been there, I have no idea how safe this would be at this time)

Then, last night, both of those posts that refer to being in Jerusalem disappeared from FB. I'm wondering if they were told (and by who?) to take them down for safety, and if so, safety from what. Does the government think they are at risk of being taken hostage because they're U.S. citizens? Or killed? None of the attacks are happening near Jerusalem, and I don't honestly think Jerusalem would be a target because of its roots for three major world religions.

I'm no expert (not even an amateur) on Middle East conflicts, but I can only garner that she removed those posts because someone told them to for some reason.

Are there any international experts here who might be able to offer some insight for me? I've always heard how safe Israel is to travel to, except when it's under attack. The news is not saying much about evacuating U.S. citizens who are stuck over there. My friend and her group can't be the only U.S. citizens over there.

I do keep checking her FB page to see if they've arrived home, because I would think that would be safe to post. At this point, friends are posting on her FB page that they're praying for her, but no details.

14 comments posted: Tuesday, October 10th, 2023

Road trip has begun!

As important as our cross-country road trip is, today I conquered something else major. I had not driven on freeways in LA in over three and a half years. About a year after we moved to SoCal, I had panic attacks several times while driving, especially through intersections of major freeways with their on and off ramps. There have been a few times in the last several months I've been tempted to try it again, but as I'd get close to the on ramp (even if an off ramp was only a 1/2 mile away), I'd start to freak. Thankfully, 95% of where I had to drive day-to-day, I could do on surface streets, and the other 5%, H drove.

For the last several weeks, with the move impending, I knew my chances of conquering this were dwindling. And today was the last day as we pulled away from our house. I told H he would have to be very attentive to me, and if I started to panic, he'd have to talk me through getting over to the shoulder, or exiting. I was going to consider it a win if I made it more than three exits. Well, guess what fucking what??? I drove from LA to Las Vegas!!! 275 miles!!! Once we got out of the LA area, and traffic lightened up, it was a piece of cake. Quite a few times I had to talk to myself and tell myself I could do it. It felt amazing!

After our lunch stop in Vegas, H drove because I knew there was a section of I-15 in northwest AZ where you're driving through canyons, with little to no shoulder. It's only about 20-30 minutes, but you really have to be on your game, and I was already getting tired from not sleeping much last night.

We pulled off in a tiny town called Fillmore for the night, and tomorrow have to make it to Jackson, WY, where we have hotel reservations. Friday will be a 'scenic drive' day through the Grand Teton National Park, and Yellowstone National Park. The plan is to stay in Cody, WY Friday night.

Most of all what I will remember about today is conquering a three+ year phobia. (I texted my therapist when I got done driving!!)

12 comments posted: Wednesday, July 12th, 2023

Driving cross country - share your opinions on our route

Now that my cancer surgery is behind me, H and I are talking more about what route we're going to take for our move to the Boston area.

Before I start, I need to preface it with, we will have our dog with us, so lots of things people might recommend to us, we won't be able to do because he won't be allowed.

Here's the plan - head north out of LA on I-15 to Salt Lake City; we've been on I-15 between LA and where I-15 and I-70 connect, but have not been further north on I-15 (when we drove between Chicago and LA, we took the route that took us through Denver, then across Nebraska, Iowa and IL, so we're not interested in that route again, although it would save us 400 miles). Once we're north of SLC, we'll head up through Grand Teton National Park, then Yellowstone National Park. We'll do a night in Cody, WY, then spend two days on the road between there and Chicago after getting over to I-90 from Cody. We've done I-90 between Yellowstone and Chicago before, but it was 30 years ago! We did the Badlands, Black Hills, Mt. Rushmore, Devil's Tower, etc. So we won't feel cheated if we have to drive past these places this go around due to the dog.

And of course we'll have to make the obligatory stop at Wall Drug!

As we drive through Grand Teton National Park, are there any really short detours we should know about that are worth the extra minutes? Or will we just enjoy the view of the Grand Tetons off to our left from route 191? Maybe pick up lunch in Jackson and find a picnic area that's off 191.

Any other tips for driving through this part of the country during mid-summer?

Oh, is seeing the Great Salt Lake worth it? I'm not interested in taking the time to find a place to go swim in it.

16 comments posted: Tuesday, June 27th, 2023

My terrible, horrible, no-good day (yesterday)

Exactly five years ago this month, as we were contemplating whether we were going to move to SoCal from the Midwest or not, I found out I have a genetic mutation that puts me at a very high risk for colon cancer (up to 70% chance I'd get it) and I hadn't had a colonoscopy in five years. So we had to quickly get one scheduled because I wasn't going to move if I had a cancer diagnosis. I had a wonderful Gi doc who got me in within few days, and I ended up being all clear. But it was a really rough week or two. Now I get regular colonoscopies and they've all been clear.. not even a polyp.

Three weeks ago we listed our home here, since we are moving to the East Coast to be near our almost one-year old grandson. We ended up with 18 initial offers, which whittled down to seven after our counter. The offer we accepted is 20% above asking price, which we are thrilled about (the second closest offer is only $5K less than his). The timing is, we'd have a 30-day escrow, with a 29-day rent back for $1. This would mean we need to be out of our house by July 13th. All good stuff.

Last week I went in for my annual mammogram and ultrasound. Got a call back that they wanted to do a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound, so I had that done Tuesday. I wasn't too worried because I have really dense breast tissue, have had several biopsies before, and they've all been clear. So I get the diagnostic tests done on Tuesday, and yesterday my breast nurse practitioner called to say the radiologist saw a mass, under a centimeter, that she wants to biopsy. She knows the timing of our move, and told me when I called to schedule it, if they gave me some crazy date of weeks out, to call her back and she'd pull some strings. So I called scheduling, and their 'soonest' available is June 7th - two weeks away. Also, in all of this mess, we're supposed to be on the East Coast June 13-21st, to meet with our contractor, architect and designer to get our project of the new home renovations moving along. We will be signing a lease on an apartment when we travel out there next month. We timed the trip to coincide with our grandson's first birthday party.

All in the same half hour I got news about the needed biopsy, we got word from our realtor that this bro who wants to buy our house is asking for $47K credit in closing costs for repairs, which is absolute fucking bullshit. We had a pre-inspection done prior to our listing and know what the issues are. It's outrageous - he basically wants the quality of a newly-built house. We talked to our realtor last night and told him we'd support $15K on our part, and that's it... we move onto offer #2 and/or #3 (which we already have contracts with if #1 falls through). So I'm furious about this insulting stunt on his part - for instance, we agreed we'd purchase a one-year home warranty for any buyer, but he wants 16K credit now for our HVAC system - which is older, but working fine - which would be covered under the fucking warranty if it goes. I had the annual service done three weeks ago, and the guy told me it was fine.

So here I am, totally freaking out about the breast situation, I can't get an appt. for two weeks for the biopsy, which means if it came back positive and I needed treatment, I'd be getting this news four weeks before we'd have to be out of our house. I called the scheduling people back again this morning to explain my predicament again and they are still saying June 7th. She said she'd speak with her manager to see if they can do anything, but I also called my nurse practitioner's office back and asked them to relay to her that the soonest I could get is not for two weeks. Hopefully she can pull some magic.

I am just an absolute wreck. It brings back all the memories of five years ago and needing a quick clearance so we could make a decision on whether to move or not. Our current situation is such that we have to move. Wheels are already in motion. I talked to my therapist and am going to see her today, but I'm just a disaster right now.

Funny aside, H ended up having to get a root canal yesterday morning, and in the afternoon after all this other shit came down, he texted, "Who would have thought getting a root canal would be the best part of my day?"

47 comments posted: Wednesday, May 24th, 2023

Ewwwww! How would you feel about a month-old decaying corpse next-door?

Not us, but D texted us yesterday morning to tell us the police were next door, and that the home owner had been found dead. Then no details until today.

D has lived next door to this woman for almost two years, and the only way the woman communicated with them, or anyone in the neighborhood was by leaving a note at your front door if you did something to piss her off. If you waved to her as you passed by in your/her car, she wouldn't wave back. So very anti-social and in her 80s. You never saw anyone at the house, other than the landscapers. So I guess she was overdue with her payment to them, and they had a key to her house, so when they knocked and didn't get an answer, they unlocked the door and opened it, only to be stunned by the smell. They shut the door and called the police. I'm pretty sure this warrants an autopsy, but based on financial documents, they suspect she'd been dead about a month!! 🤮

I mean, it's so sad. This poor woman was so removed from society that no one missed her for over a month. Evidently she had grandchildren who lived twenty minutes away, but they were estranged from her because she was so awful. It reminds me of The Golden Girls episode where the nasty neighbor, Rita Claxson (who wants to cut down a giant tree in her parkway) drops dead, and no one comes to the funeral. She had no friends, and was just plain mean. Rita Claxson had no need for people or nature. I always thought that particular episode was an outlier - I mean, who, in a suburban neighborhood, has no contact with any of their neighbors to the point where they won't even say hello?

I remember my old hairstylist lived in a townhouse where the woman she shared a wall with died, and wasn't found for a week. My hairstylist said her dog had been acting funny for the few days leading up to the discovery - she obviously smelled something. And I thought that was horrific, but a month??

10 comments posted: Wednesday, May 17th, 2023

Nine years cancer-free today

The dreaded big C invaded my life over nine years ago. Today I am cancer-free. While the surgery wasn't a walk in park, it was seven weeks later that an abscess I'd developed (and had no idea I had), turned into sepsis and I was hospitalized for five nights. Scariest thing ever to happen to me. I'd never felt so sick in my life. From my work in hospice, I knew that sepsis had a mortality rate of 30%.

But here I am today, celebrating nine years of being cancer-free. I had a wonderful surgeon and hospital staff, both for the surgery and the subsequent sepsis hospitalization. The infectious disease doc was outstanding. My internist stopped by every day I was in the hospital to see how I was doing.

Most of all, I want to thank the 24-hour nurse on call with BCBS who, when I called because I had no idea what was wrong with me after going from feeling fine at 7PM, to feeling like death warmed over at 11PM, triaged my symptoms over the phone and told me in the calmest voice, 'Ma'am, you need to get to the ER within two hours. If there's no one there to drive you, call 911." My heart rate was 140 and I was running a fever of 102°. I'd been on the tail end of a cold and thought maybe I had developed a serious respiratory infection, but because of my surgery seven weeks earlier, I didn't know whether to call my surgeon or my regular doctor. Boy did that nurse take charge and direct me on what to do. I wish I'd gotten her name and could go back and thank her, but I was a bit distracted at the time. 😳

It was a several-months recovery from that sepsis, but I did, and thank my trainer for knowing how to start me out very slowly, just to get my body moving again (prior to sepsis, I'd gotten up to walking three miles a day after the surgery).

Man, what a ride...

5 comments posted: Saturday, April 29th, 2023

Pop, pop, pop - whose brackets have already burst?

Wow... I don't really have a team in this year's tournament, but with a #15 and #16 moving to the next round after knocking out a #1 and #2, it's kind of exciting. I love rooting for the underdog... unless I have a team in it.

So happy for Princeton and Fairleigh Dickinson. Those kids must be so elated!

5 comments posted: Friday, March 17th, 2023

Timing for Covid negative test

For those who have had Covid, how long did it take you to test negative after you tested positive? Today is day 8 for H, and he's still testing positive. His work Covid protocol is that he can go back to work with a mask at day 10 if he's still testing positive.

He is masking in the house anytime he comes out of his room for anything. I mask anytime I have to talk to him, and if I'm in a room (like the kitchen) where he's been within the last half hour or so. Honestly, I spend 95% of my time in our bedroom.

But I kind of want to know how long he's going to be contagious, meaning how long do I have to feel I'm in the clear for not getting it. From what I've read, the viral load starts to drop off significantly by day 5, but we're both still masking up and staying apart.

We are supposed to leave Tuesday morning for the East Coast and I'm starting to worry he won't be over this in time for us to leave.

He has felt fine (except for a lingering cough) for about three days now. I've heard the cough can last for weeks, so we can't use that as a rubric for when he's safe to be around.

7 comments posted: Thursday, March 16th, 2023

Troubled teen industry (tti)

Do I ever feel out of the loop. Until last fall, I had no idea that this was a thing. Then I found out that a family member had been sent there as a teen, and was traumatized. When I asked about the facility, I was told it was the same one Paris Hilton went to (I think she was at more than one). So I did some digging into what this industry was. I found a Reddit group and have done a lot of reading. You can also find exposés to watch.

It's worse in some states than others. The really bad ones are in Utah because it's the only state where you can't discharge yourself or leave. They can hold you against your will. Facilities in other states threaten their residents saying, if you don't comply, we'll send you to Utah. But at least you can walk out of those facilities, although most of them are out in the middle-of-the-fuck nowhere and these kids have no idea where they are and how to get someone to help them. I don't know how the people who own these places (they're all for profit), much less the ones who work at them sleep at night.

It is absolutely devastating what happens in these places. Parents are lied to (as I'm sure they were for the family member who was sent there). Phone calls are monitored and if a kid starts to tell a parent how bad they're being treated, they will lose their phone privileges. And these places are still open, although Paris Hilton and her mom are working on legislation to shut them down.

Paris Hilton was on The View today. I have to say I never really held her in high regard, but now I see her in a different light, and applaud her for her activism.

I suspect that one of my nephews was sent to one twenty years ago; I know he was sent to a wilderness camp/school for drug and alcohol issues discovered in 8th grade. Actually throughout high school, he went to a few different schools away from home (got kicked out of a military academy for drinking).

1 comment posted: Tuesday, March 14th, 2023

Pros and cons of induction cooktop vs. gas

I have been doing my homework with regards to our major renovation job on our new home. I asked our designer which trades have the longest lead times right now, so I know which to tackle first. She said cabinets and appliances. So we have to decide which direction we're going to go with our cooktop. While there's no gas to the house right now, we plan to bury a propane tank in the backyard so we have propane for our fireplaces (no thank you to wood - what a mess). So we can go either way with the cooktop. Our daughter, who lives a few houses away from our new place, also does not have gas to her house (this part of the neighborhood does not), so they opted for an induction cooktop. Yes, it's more expensive, and you have to buy new pots and pans (hey, the ones I have now I got over 40 years ago, so I'm not going to feel guilty about getting new pots and pans) that are compatible with induction cooking. I've used her cooktop several times when we've been visiting, but I'm wondering how others feel about their induction cooktops.

Are there any cons I'm missing, other than the cost? I REALLY like the idea of wiping up messes off of the glass top after cooking, as opposed to taking apart a gas cooktop and getting in all of the crevices to get it clean.

For those who have induction, what do you think? Would you do it again?

10 comments posted: Thursday, March 2nd, 2023

Insurance/Medicare question

In light of our upcoming move later this year to the East Coast, I am researching new psychiatrists. When we moved to the West Coast 4.5 years ago, I grieved so much for my Midwest psychiatrist - she was phenomenal. It took me a couple of tries when we got here, but I found someone who I can work with now. When we first got to SoCal, I was a little over a year out from that even which shall not be named here, and the relocation did a number on me. I ended up in the hospital for a week and a half, about two months after we arrived. Let's just say, there was a lot going on in my life.

We will be six years out from 'that' event when we move again. But I am worried about the reality of making another major transition, even though this one will put me four doors down from our daughter, SIL and grandson. I've gotten the names of several psychiatrists very convenient to where we will be living, and have begun reaching out to them. I got the names from the college friend (who's a psychiatrist no longer accepting new patients but practices in the town we will be moving to, so she's familiar with the options) of my former psychiatrist in the Midwest who I adored. I've heard back from two of them (I just reached out on Friday). One of them lists on her website that she only sees patients between 18-65; I will be 63 this April, so when I emailed her, I asked her about her limitations of 65+. She replied back that she only treat patients up to age 65 as she's not able to see patients with Medicare for insurance reasons. I'm very confused. I understand that she doesn't take Medicare (none of the people I was referred to accept insurance - they're all out-of-network and I knew that to find someone I liked, that's the route I would have to go. But what if someone who has Medicare wanted to pay cash for her services? Why would she not see patients over 65 if the patient was paying out-of-pocket? I will not work with a psychiatrist that only does 15-20 medication management appointments. I want someone who is trained in psychotherapy even if I decide to use someone else for therapy. I know it's a dying art, but there are still some out there.

So can someone explain to me how Medicare works if you choose to see someone who doesn't accept Medicare? This might affect other providers I need to find. FWIW, we will have H's medical insurance (Blue Shield CA) until he retires, which won't probably happen for another 2-3 years (he's a year younger than me). If he does retire before then, we have the option of picking up his previous employer's medical insurance through the pension plan. It's really good insurance.

18 comments posted: Monday, February 27th, 2023

What documents/papers do you save and for how long - clutter clearing

I am pretty good at Marie Condo'ing my life; we've moved twice in the last six years, one cross-country. So I've gotten rid of a lot of stuff and feel pretty satisfied with my progress in that area.

But I really have a problem with all of my paperwork. I do try to keep up with shredding it, but I think some of the stuff I have can be destroyed. I mean, we have paperwork from the sale of our house six years ago, and we've lived in two different homes since. That's just an example. I have over ten years of tax returns, statements from financial institutions (credit union, bank accounts that were closed years ago, investments we no longer have, etc.). I know the smart thing would be do scan all of this stuff and save it that way, then shred the hard copies, but that really seems overwhelming. I'd have to buy a dedicated scanner to do that, too.

Does anyone have a responsible/reputable published guideline as to what to keep and what to save? We will be moving across country again later this year, and I'd like to tackle this task, slowly over time so that it's done before we move.

11 comments posted: Wednesday, February 8th, 2023

Countdown to the Winter Solstice

Only two more days!! Who’s excited to see more daylight minutes?!? 🙋‍♀️

9 comments posted: Sunday, December 18th, 2022

Dog behavior issue

Our dog will be 11 next month. He recently began a new behavior that we're at a loss about.

The morning routine is, H always gets up hours before I do. He dresses in the bathroom, and when he walks out of the bedroom, pooch follows him, and hangs with him while H is making his lunch for the day. H feeds pooch and lets him out to potty. Right before H leaves for work, he comes back to our bedroom and opens the door, so pooch can come back in, jump up on the bed and he has always gone back to sleep until I'm ready to get up.

About a month or so ago, after H let pooch back into our bedroom, pooch would jump up on the bed, but when he'd see H leave, he'd follow him out to the living room. He wouldn't stay in our bedroom, even if I would give him some nice scratches and rubs. He'd go to the dining room French doors, sit there, and just bark at the outside. Sometimes, if I use my sternest voice and yell at him, he will go back to our bedroom with me, but by the time I've done this, I'm so frustrated that when I get back in bed, I have a hard time going back to sleep. So my sleep has been poor the last month.

I decided a couple of mornings to let him bark it out, and see how long he'd do that. Yep, a full hour before he'd give up and come join me in the bedroom. Then he'd crawl up on my legs and go back to sleep; I would, too, if I'd been barking that long.

Then it occurred to me that pooch is barking... because it's dark outside! Once the sun comes up and it starts to get bright outside, that's when he's returning to the bedroom (which, BTW, has blackout curtains). So there's something anxiety-provoking to him about looking out the French doors, into the darkness. This is the first winter he's done this.

I know he's not responding to anything he's hearing outside because his hearing is terrible. He has long, furry ears and he really doesn't respond to noises (doorbell, door knock, phone ringing, etc.). We can return home from errands, he can be asleep 20' from the door on the couch, and we can walk in, start putting groceries away, etc., and he doesn't budge from his nap. He only really wakes up when his smell kicks in that we're home. Then he jumps down off of the couch and greets us.

We have a bark collar - the kind that vibrates, not shocks. Our daughter recommended it to us a couple of years ago when we were having issues with him barking at other pets walking in front of our house. But I never liked putting it on him, so it's been sitting in a drawer. That's an option we might try on Monday.

So this morning, H got up after it was light outside, fed pooch and let him out to potty. Then he left for the grocery store before I was awake, not letting pooch back into our bedroom. He found pooch on the couch, asleep when he returned from the grocery store, and he never barked once while H was gone, which is leading me to the 'barking at the dark' theory I've developed.

There's not much we can do about dark mornings right now, and I'm not going to start getting up in the mornings when it's still dark out. Any suggestions/insight? I've probably left out something, but this is the best summary I can think of right now.

21 comments posted: Sunday, December 18th, 2022

Questions about lead paint in older homes

The house that we’re buying near our daughter on the East Coast was built in the 1950s (yea, new by their standards). We close in early December, and have a lead paint test scheduled for the next day. Our realtor has told us that, since the house was built before 1978, it’s highly likely to have lead paint.

Our plan (I’m using the term lightly) was to rent the house for a while, while we work with an architect, designer, and builder to come up with a plan to enlarge it and renovate what is there. But evidently MA is one of the most strict states when it comes to renting to families with children under 7, where there is lead paint.

We have a potential renter - the friend of our D, who has a baby. They are doing some work on their house and need a temporary short-term rental, which would work great for us, as we only want short-term while we take care of all the pre- construction tasks. The potential renters know that we will be getting it tested for lead paint, and understand the strict MA laws, but say they want to rent even if there is lead paint.

I reached out to our real estate attorney, who said it’s a very risky move on our part - that disclosing the presence of lead paint does not protect us legally in MA. So if the house has lead paint, we have to find some way to remediate it quickly if we want this renter.

This whole idea of lead paint is foreign to us. What are the possibilities of what they could find when they test, and are there any remediation options, other than replacing windows and doors? We’re going to be replacing windows when we remodel (they’re currently single-pane), so we don’t want to do that now. Besides, I think there’s a supply chain issue with windows, so it might take longer to get any in, than the potential renters would be willing to wait.

What are some questions we could be researching at this time?

5 comments posted: Friday, November 11th, 2022

Living in close (really close) proximity to your adult children

The last couple of days have been roller-coaster wild.

Our plan has always been to relocate to the east coast when H retires. We now live about 15 minutes from our younger daughter, but she and her H are choosing not to have children, and will not be staying in our area more than a few years more before locating 300 miles further north. We want to live near our grandchild (who will likely have a sibling down the road). Both daughters have been aware that this was our ultimate goal.

When we were visiting D, we met with her realtor to feel the market out, wanting to learn more about the local market and how we might find a good fit. But we had no intentions of buying anything within a year or two at the earliest. Our parameters were: within a 15-minute radius of our daughter, and single-level living so we can age in place. We were more than willing to buy a diamond in the rough and put some work into it. In their market, smaller, one-level homes are notoriously being snatched up by builders, putting in 5,000 sq. ft. homes on 1/4 acre lots, so we knew the search would be tough.

Two weeks ago, a 'Coming Soon' sign appeared on the front yard of a house across the street and four houses down, a single-level living. D reached out to us immediately, got us the realtor's name, put our realtor in touch with the listing realtor, and unbelievably, we got an offer accepted yesterday! We totally expected this process to be long and competitive; to be fair, there were four other offers, two from builders, but we won (both H and I, and our D and SIL submitted love letters to the owner). So we bought a house with only two FaceTime tours, one with an inspector! I know, call us crazy.

We will get the house rental ready and rent it out until we are ready to move - the rental market is very strong in their area, too.

Over the weekend, our grandson got a nasty case of RSV, is very sick, and we realized even more, how much we want to be nearby. It's been really hard watching my D on FaceTime crying out of fear and exhaustion. Hopefully he will make a turn today, but since this weekend, they've had a doctor's appt., and been to the ER.

So because of what H and I have been through, which will not be discussed on this thread, we have become much better at setting boundaries, and have discussed that we will need to have ongoing communication with D and SIL regarding boundaries, going both ways. But neither H or I, or D and SIL have ever lived near grandparents - they were always a three-hour drive away, or a plane flight away, so this whole idea of our living a 90-second walk away is a bit intimidating. We've made it clear we will not be their daycare, and they weren't expecting that. But we are sort of at a loss as to what kinds of boundaries we should be discussing.

FWIW...while we look forward to being part of their raising their kids, we also know that, down the line, when we are older and need more help, they will be nearby, although we won't expect them to become our caregivers.

So what kinds of things should we be discussing between H and I, that we can come to agreement on before we even move out there.

19 comments posted: Thursday, October 20th, 2022

Update your Apple products software

Lots of people haven't heard about this, but if you have any Apple devices, you need to do this to avoid two security vulnerabilities that have been actively exploited. One story I heard is that millions of people have had their devices seriously compromised.

Just your friendly poster trying to inform people with Apple devices.

BID: 219562

CID: 232

BIDs: undefined

CIDs: undefined

ZID: 646249 (async 300x250)

2 comments posted: Friday, August 19th, 2022

Wilting flower bouquet needs help

We frequent the weekly farmer's markets in our area and really enjoy our haul each week. Yesterday we passed by a booth that had $7 fresh cut bouquets that looked lovely... it had a couple of hydrangeas, a bird of paradise, and some greenery. I got one bouquet for me, and another for D2, who we always stop by and see after the farmer's market because it's close to her house. She immediately put her bouquet in some water, but mine sat out in the car for the hour or so that we were visiting with them. As soon as we got home, I cut all the stems at a diagonal, and put them in a vase with water - they were already looking a bit wilty, but I figured once I cut the stems and got them in water, they'd perk up.

As I finished putting the last stem in the vase, I looked down and saw ants all over my kitchen counter - obviously coming from the flowers or greenery. So I took the bouquet outside and put it on the patio dining table, which is not in direct sun, but it was hot yesterday (mid 90s). The flowers never perked up, and continued to wilt, so this morning I brought them inside, making sure all the ants were gone, cut some of the stems again, and waited. Part of one of the hydrangeas is just barely starting to open back up, but everything else looks as it did yesterday.

Could the heat of being in the car have doomed my bouquet? Then I added fire to the fuel by moving the vase outside when I found the ants? When I bought the bouquet, they did not provide any water in the plastic sleeve they put the arrangement in. But they had been in water when we got them.

I got D the exact same bouquet, and hers is fine. I'd like to start buying flowers each week at the farmer's market, but want to make sure I do what I need to to make sure they last. I've had hydrangeas in arrangements coming from a florist that have lasted well over a week. Obviously I did something wrong.

7 comments posted: Monday, August 1st, 2022

4th of July parade mass shooting

I'm just devastated by this last shooting. Without giving too many details that would identify me, we know the area very, very well, and in fact the shooter lived within easy walking distance of where we used to live, but not in the same town. We were just in shock yesterday as the images played on TV and we recognized many of the shops and restaurants we used to frequent. The hospital where they took most of the victims is very familiar to me; I've been to that ER.

I knew it was a matter of time before I started reading updates on my FB page that people knew people who were there (thankfully, no one I knew was there, that I know of at this point). One friend had a member of her temple killed. For the past 15 years, this friend has volunteered with EMT services at this parade, except for twice... and yesterday was the second time, so she wasn't there. She said she is always stationed at exactly the intersection where the shooting happened, but she was traveling this year, so literally dodged a bullet. Another friend had a professional colleague killed. Another friend's neighbor was there, walking with Rep. Brad Schneider's group, but they were all safe. These people's lives will be changed forever... not that other lives from other mass shootings aren't changed, but this time, it hits so close to home.

I was just sick to my stomach yesterday.

19 comments posted: Tuesday, July 5th, 2022

5 years out

Somehow I always feel the need to post when I hit a significant anniversary. It was five years ago today that I kicked H out of our home; the trickle truth began and took three months. Those three months are such a blur now, but I know it was incredibly painful, and I became severely depressed. While I still struggle with some anxiety (I had anxiety issues even before H's infidelity), it is so much better than it was in those early days and weeks.

We are about to become first-time grandparents in the next couple of weeks, so it will start another new chapter in our lives. I look forward to a transition and new identity that doesn't have anything to do with what happened five years ago, something joyful. I'd been soooooo afraid that our daughter would have the baby on today's anniversary date, and it would be tainted, but that's not going to happen as of an hour ago! So we're in the clear for an exciting time.

I've been an outlier in the recovery continuum. We read a lot about how it takes 3-5 years to heal; when years 3 and 4 came along and things still didn't feel settled, I began to worry. But I know I/we're in a much better place than we were a year ago. At year 5, I can meet new people and not feel the urge to blurt out, "I have PTSD, thanks to my H." I think that's a sign of healing. I'm looking forward to more healing in the years to come.

And with that, I've done my due diligence in documenting my experience.

8 comments posted: Friday, June 10th, 2022

Royal Family shenanigans at the Queens' Jubilee.

Whether you're a royal family follower or not, a couple of videos from this weekend are absolutely entertaining... the ones of Prince Louis in particular.

Anyone else see them?

The first one showcasing his personality is the one of the flypast during the Queen's Jubilee celebration. The look on his face, on the balcony, standing next to the queen, with hands over his ears is hilarious. Kate did her part by cracking up at his reaction.

The second one is of him giving smack to his mom, who tries to redirect his antics... him giving her the brush off as they sat in the stands.

I mean, maybe they should have left him at home, but how many times will this wee little tyke get to celebrate a Queen's Jubilee? I'm glad he was included.

21 comments posted: Monday, June 6th, 2022

Texas elementary school shooting

I'm just shaking, in a more visceral way than I did with Sandy Hook.

Maybe it's because my first grandchild is due in a month.

It has to stop. Why won't lawmakers do anything?? (that's a rhetorical question).

14 dead, some children. More hospitalized where the death rate could go up.

It has to stop.

12 comments posted: Tuesday, May 24th, 2022

It finally happened to our dog - encounter with a skunk.

I think it must be Friday, the 13th still somewhere... H went to let our pooch out to potty around 2:15AM, and he got sprayed. I could smell it in the house before H even got in to tell me. I grabbed the hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and Dawn and passed them through the door. H is outside with him now rubbing it in his coat for 20 minutes before the first rinse. He's really not going to like it when the cold water from the hose hits him.😤

I did fill up a bucket of lukewarm water to pass outside, but most of the rinsing will have to come from the hose. Thankfully it's still 70° out at 2:45AM. And of course, H has it on him, too, so he'll have to shower and scrub when he comes in.


8 comments posted: Saturday, May 14th, 2022

Travel triggers have come up

One of my cousins died this afternoon. It was not unexpected, but I'm sad, nonetheless. I was probably closer to her than any of my own brothers (I had no sisters). I'm waiting word on arrangements. I've known this day was coming as she'd been diagnosed with a recurrence of cancer that was now terminal.

She lives in a city where H traveled to with his last affair partner, when he had a work trip toward the end of the affair. It was in that city that his AP got pregnant, and then a few weeks later had an abortion. H and I are doing pretty well in recovery - it's been almost five years since D-Day. But this particular city is a horrible trigger for me. We actually lived in this city for a year, early on in our marriage, when he did a post-doc. When we moved, I was ready to get out (actually the whole state makes me cringe, as a lot of my childhood PTSD took place there). I had a difficult pregnancy there, and the family I did have there (not this cousin), was pretty absent, even when we were in crisis. So the city has bad memories for me, prior to my finding out about the trip with the AP and the pregnancy. I have only been back to this city when my nephew died in 2007.

But I loved this cousin very much, and it will pain me not to go pay my respects at the funeral/memorial. One of her sisters (who I also loved very much) died a year ago, and I couldn't go as I hadn't qualified for the COVID vaccine yet, and I wasn't going to fly four hours to this area. It was very upsetting for me not to be there. So I've unwaveringly decided I'm going to go. I've asked H to go with me, because I can't go alone (anxiety issues are a real problem for me right now). He said I didn't even need to ask, that he'd do whatever I needed him to do. Because I've had time to think about this trip, I've played around with which airport I want to fly into. My cousin's house is closer to DFW, but I know that's the airport H flew into with the AP. We can fly into Love Field, but that will be further away from cousin's house. I think this is the option we need to choose (again, H says he'll do whatever I need to do to help us get through this).

H has asked me how he can support me during this time, meaning when we're there, and honestly, I don't know what to tell him, because I don't know how being there is going to effect me. Do I just grin and bear it while I'm there (there will be a lot of family around so it's possible I could be distracted)? Or ask for something from him in particular.

10 comments posted: Monday, April 11th, 2022

Let's talk grandparenting!

I know many of us here are newly recent grandparents, and some of us are inching closely to that milestone. I'd love to be in communication with others who are in this stage of their lives.

So let's open this up with, how old are your grandchildren if you have any, or when (approximately) are your grandchildren due?

And can I quickly add, damn, pregnancy and childbirth have changed so much since I had mine, but I guess that's a good thing as it improves outcomes.

I'll start... D1 due in ten weeks. Our first!

110 comments posted: Saturday, April 9th, 2022

Do you Wordle?

First and foremost, no spoilers here. Please do not give hints to any answer on the day of that puzzle.

So, who's doing Wordle? I was almost a month late joining the game. I'll have to admit, I was a bit intimidated. But once I started playing and figured out my own strategy, then it became a lot of fun. H, D2 and I share answers via text when we've played, but it's not a competition (vs. D1 and her spouse, who, sheesh, are very competitive). It's just interesting to see how other people start out, then get to the answer. At one point H told me his starting word (I think when he was showing me how he played), so I told him he had to change it up; I think he has. I don't want any advantages - want to know I can get it on my own.

I've had a couple of times where I didn't get it at all, and a few times where I've gotten it in 3. I haven't broken the 2 barrier yet, but I known several people who have gotten it in 2. I alter my starting word, depending on my mood that day.

How do you Wordle?

And yup, I'm aware of all the other games that have arisen since Wordle, including Nerdle, Qurodle, Octordle, etc. You could literally spend all day on these puzzles, so I'm just sticking with Wordle.

52 comments posted: Wednesday, March 23rd, 2022

Anyone been to baseball spring training?

During the pandemic, we became more of baseball fans than we ever had, since it was something to watch on TV. We have about 3-4 teams that we follow closely.

We have a trip scheduled next week to Phoenix to visit some friends and decided we might try to do some spring training games. We truly don't know what to expect. I know there are many venues in the Phoenix area and we'll likely have to go to a few to see the teams we want to see. Any tips for making it more enjoyable? I gather that some stadiums have grassy areas to sit on as opposed to regular seats.

11 comments posted: Friday, March 18th, 2022

What would you do? Therapist conflict

I will try not to bring in that subject which shall not be named on this forum, but here's the dilemma. Mods, feel free to move if necessary.

About a year after full disclosure, we relocated across country to our new home, and got a referral for a new couple's therapist from my new individual therapist. We've been seeing her for over three years now, and she eventually referred me to a new therapist when I got too stressed out over the commute I had to make to see new therapist #1. So I am on IC #2, and H also got a referral for his new IC from this couple's therapist.

Let me be transparent, I still miss our couple's therapist from our previous home. I really, really connected with her. Here's what happened - a couple of weeks ago, couple's therapist mentioned in passing (somehow the topic of Instagram had come up, I think that of one of my Ds, and how IG can play a role in keeping in touch with people we don't see) she has an IG following, then said she has a private account and a public account. I didn't think much of it that week, but for some reason, the following week (after we'd seen her again), I was goofing around and her comment came to me. I 100% thought, hey, she wouldn't have mentioned it to me if it weren't a professional account. I have various friends who have IG accounts that they use for education, so I thought I'd see what couple's therapist was posting.

Things went wrong very quickly. When I googled her name and Instagram, the first account that came up is a personal/private account (account #1) that is actually very, very personal. On that account #1, there's a link to a professional account (account #2), where she shares professional stuff regarding therapy, etc.

As I scrolled through #1, there were dozens of pictures and videos of her pole dancing, in very provocative clothing... two-piece outfits with bottoms that really didn't cover her butt. I am aware that some women are getting into pole dancing as a form of exercise, and I can't judge her for doing that. But on this #1 account, she also had some still photos of her posing very sexually... basically crotch shots, again in very little clothing. And her leaning across the front grille of a car, with her butt to the camera, and her looking over her shoulder. And again, not much covering the butt - probably the equivalent of a thong.

At first, I felt incredibly confused; I mean, why would someone I have a professional relationship with tell me about their IG following? And bait me with, well, one is public and one is private. In truth, they're BOTH public, because anyone can see them. Also, aside from the pictures on her IG, you can look at the pole dancing studio's IG account, and there are many pictures of her on that, too. What it boils down to is, all these videos and pictures are very sexually provocative and it is highly inappropriate for her to have mentioned the accounts to us. These are huge boundary violations to me, especially given that part of H's acting out was looking at pornography (which he no longer does). I mean, she refers to herself as a couple's therapist, and yes, is also a sex therapist. So I just sort of assumed she had a colorful sex life with her partner, but I don't need visual confirmation of that.

I.just.don' Why do people go out of their way, to have other people take provocative and sexual pictures and videos of themselves, and POST THEM PUBLICLY??? And then, if you're a professional therapist, TELL your patients about it???

So the next day I told H about the information I'd found - we talked about it, and are really on the same page, that this is highly unprofessional, and unethical. I wanted to talk about it with my IC, but she was out of the office last week, so I won't see her until Monday. Because I couldn't talk to my IC about it, and how to handle it, we canceled our appt. with our couple's therapist last week, but will see her the day after I see my IC next week. I've made up my mind today it will be a termination appt. H mentioned all this to his IC when he saw her this week, and she knew exactly what he was talking about, and alluded that she'd found out from other therapists she networks with. She found it in very poor judgment and was very vocal with H on what she thought of it... that it's very unprofessional for her to be posting these kinds of pictures/videos for anyone in the public to easily see. So we've got one confirmation from another professional that this is wrong on many different levels.

Once you see these pictures, you can't just unsee them; she made the professional relationship untenable by implicitly directing us to this information about her activities. And what pisses me off even more is, now we have to find someone new to work with, and start over again, which is going to cost us time and money. One friend (who's a therapist) suggested we ask her to partly defray the cost of what it take to get us up to speed with a new therapist. I believe she does owe us something - it was her abysmal lack of judgment that is forcing us into finding someone new.

I'm mostly just venting here; yes, I'm judging someone for something they do outside of their professional life, but then don't make it public when you're a couple's therapist working with infidelity-laden relationships. It really just disgusts me. This is also now calling me to doubt the relationship I have with my IC because I got her name from the couple's therapist. Monday will be a big test for my IC, seeing how she handles this revelation I share with her. Ultimately, it may lead to my having to look for a new therapist, too.

22 comments posted: Friday, March 11th, 2022

Need manicotti advice

Tomorrow we are celebrating a family member's birthday. She has requested my ages-old recipe for stuffed shells. However, H hit up SIX grocery stores today, looking for jumbo pasta shells, and EVERY shelf was empty. And for some reason, at every store, they were on sale. Not sure what is going on, but we have to move to plan B, which is using manicotti shells. I've never cooked, much less stuffed, manicotti shells before. I'm hoping someone can give me some tips.

The stuffing will be a mixture of 1/2 lb. each, cheddar and mozzarella cheeses, and 1 c. sour cream. After they're stuffed, we will spread marinara sauce on top and bake in the oven until cheeses are melted.

I do not own a pastry bag.

Any suggestions on how I can prevent this from becoming a disaster?

5 comments posted: Saturday, March 5th, 2022

yup, site is broken

I can read, but whenever I hit 'post reply to topic', it directly leads to starting a new topic. I have a MacBook Air, and am operating on Safari. Same thing happens when I'm on my iPhone.

I signed out of SI, closed my browser, and reopened everything. Nothing works. This started last night, and hasn't changed this morning.

10 comments posted: Friday, February 25th, 2022

Can we talk about the Ukraine/Russian war without it becoming political?

I'm sort of freaking out tonight. I've been following this story for several weeks now, even before the Olympics. I'm sitting here trying to figure out if I should come up with some sort of plan in case there's some sort of nuclear attack on our country. Tonight, Putin alluded to something 'never seen before in history' toward countries that interfere with his actions. I have been doing a lot of reading about Ukraine, familiarizing myself with its geography/people/history.

I have friends from Russia, who have family still in Russia, and our friends have absolutely horrible things to say about Putin. He's evil personified. I believe he would take the world down if he thought he was going down.

Seriously, if there's a nuclear attack, what can you do? I never thought, in my lifetime, that I'd see the threats of this kind that were this worrisome.

Can someone talk me down?

Does anyone here have any loved ones in Ukraine? It must be terrifying, although they saw it coming... but really, this massive in just a few hours?

31 comments posted: Thursday, February 24th, 2022

Anyone here have any Oofos recovery shoes?

Dang, after a long hike (well, long for us), my feet need to be in something other than my hiking shoes/boots when we get back to the car. My hiking shoes/boots are extremely comfortable, but when we're done and I take them off, I need something cushy to put my feet in.

In the past, I've known people who have worn Oofos, and really liked them (especially post-running). So what makes them so special? How do they compare to Crocs? I have a relatively narrow foot, although I can manage with medium width shoes most of the time. Would my foot wear these well? I'm thinking about ordering some online, but would like to hear from others.

6 comments posted: Sunday, February 13th, 2022

Peach tree nets

D and her husband have a peach tree in their yard that they planted a couple of years ago (yes they bought it despite being told how difficult it is to bring peaches to ripening). My life is all about peaches. I'll eat pretty much anything that has peaches in it. Thankfully we're now in a climate that allows for fresh peaches from about May through October!! They are abundant at our farmer's markets during those months.

Anyway, every year, this peach tree has blossomed beautifully, and small peaches begin to grow. But then the critters get to them... not sure if it's the birds or squirrels (or both). And the poor tree has yet to produce one fully ripened peach.

I am going to change that this year. D mentioned you can buy nets to put over the trees to keep the critters from getting the fruit when it's small. I would have no idea where to look, or how to find, or how to pick such a net.

Can anyone here direct me in the right direction. It's blooming right now, so I think I have a few weeks before it starts to fruit. I'm guessing peach trees aren't the only fruit trees that get pilfered. So how do I know what to get?

8 comments posted: Thursday, February 3rd, 2022

Winter solstice almost here!!

I started a thread about this last year; I really needed a sign that things were going to get better. It was the first year I'd spent Christmas without my oldest child, and it was so depressing. I just wanted to see a light at the end of the tunnel, literally and figuratively. Pandemic-wise, while we're better than we were last year, at least those of us who have chosen vaccines/boosters do still see a light at the end of the tunnel. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised that my diligent watching of the calendar hasn't been as intense this year. We get to have our daughter with us, and she's just begun her second trimester of pregnancy, so we have wonderful new things to look for.

But, I DO look forward to seeing those sunsets inch later into the day!! This past week I had a procedure at the dermatologist's office - called Levulan Photodynamic Therapy. It can treat several conditions, but I had it for the sun damage and pre-cancerous spots I have on my face from all those sunburns I had as a child and early adulthood. It's not considered a cosmetic surgery, but can help with tone and texture. Anyway, I had it done on Thursday - after the treatment I had to cover my face and head with a scarf and wide-brimmed hat to come home. Once I was home, I couldn't go outside until yesterday morning, unless it was after dark. So Thursday and Friday, I took short walks after dark, which thankfully, was as early as 5:15. So I can't complain too much about the early sunsets. I have another treatment in a month, then a third one a month after that, so the shorter daylight hours play into my favor for now.

3 comments posted: Sunday, December 19th, 2021

Also have a secret!!

When WTAF posted last month about becoming a grandma, it took everything in me not to chime in. But the secret is basically out now.

I'm joining the club!! First time, too!

21 comments posted: Saturday, December 11th, 2021

psilocybin and/or ketamine treatments for mood disorders

Psilocybin has been making the news around here since CA started allowing its use in clinical experimentation for various mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, PTSD and bipolar disorder. It is still illegal here, but can be used under the care and supervision of researchers. It's a complicated process and no two clinics seem to be offering the same experience. The gist of what I understand, though, is that for people who are willing to pursue this treatment for their mental health issues, there is a professional pre-screening with a psychiatrist, and if approved, the psilocybin is given under the observation of a physician, and then a therapist assists with the processing part, both during the 'trip' and also a debriefing period (can only need one, or up to several to process).

I know of one man at our church who went through this process a couple of years ago, but I haven't seen him in person since our church shut down for COVID. I do plan on reaching out to him about his experience.

Then there's ketamine. About nine years ago, I actually received ketamine while in the hospital for a treatment-resistant severe depression, which was brought on by an extended period of debilitating anxiety. They gave me ketamine twice, just moments before putting me under anesthesia for ECT. I had 12 ECT sessions, but they only gave me ketamine twice. So who knows what eventually worked... was it ketamine or ECT, or both. They told me that there are strong studies that support the use of ketamine along with ECT for optimal results. We have a family friend in a different state who suffers from severe anxiety similar to mine. Last summer she went through ketamine treatment, I think several visits. And it really pulled her out of a serious state so that she could become functional again.

I've talked to my therapist and couple's therapist about both psilocybin and ketamine. While I'm fairly functional, my anxiety still causes some limitations in my life, such as not driving on freeways, and not able to travel alone. The freeway thing has been for about two years now, and the traveling alone started about three years ago (yea, not long after that unnamed trauma in my life). I used to be an incredibly independent person, traveling abroad by myself, traveling across the country by myself, etc. H still works, I don't, and am so disappointed that I have these limitations, so I'm starting to look at alternatives other than prescription drugs. Nine years ago, I also tried TMS, but it didn't help. My psychiatrist says the approach to TMS has changed a lot in nine years, and thinks it's worth considering again.

But the point of this post, is to ask if anyone here knows anyone who has tried psilocybin or ketamine treatments for anxiety or depression, and if so, what was their experience. MDMA and LSD are also being studied, but I'm only interested in the two treatments I've mentioned here.

1 comment posted: Wednesday, December 1st, 2021

Anyone get a Covid-19 booster shot yet?

H got his last Saturday - Moderna. He woke up Saturday in the middle of the night with some serious chills throughout the night. Felt achy and tired on Sunday, enough to take some Advil. Had some minor chills Sunday night during the night again, and slept in on Monday morning. But when he woke up, he felt fine. When he got his second Moderna over six months ago, he had a dull headache for a day or so, and felt tired, but not terribly so.

I'm scheduled to get my Pfizer booster tomorrow evening. The only reaction I had to my first two shots was a sore arm... nothing else.

The first few people I know who got their third shots didn't have any reaction. But I guess now that more and more people are getting #3, I'm hearing about more reactions. It certainly won't keep me from getting it, but I'm just wondering what anyone's reactions here might have been.

60 comments posted: Thursday, November 4th, 2021

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body...

Was wondering if anyone has read this book by Bessel A. van der Kolk? Thoughts? WH is reading it right now, but he's reading it from a different perspective than I am (BW). I have very early childhood (infant, toddler) medical trauma, as well as affair trauma. His trauma is parents who were alcoholics.

9 comments posted: Monday, February 24th, 2020

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