Newest Member: Delilahh


Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

I think I have covid.

I'm a lot sicker with a sore throat, headache, fatigue, etc., than I've ever been with a summer cold. Tested negative, will test again daily.
Anyway, do I need treatment other than fluids, rest, Tylenol, salt water gargle, etc? I'm 68, in generally good health, history of asthma but no symptoms for at least 8 years or so.
I'm a bit wary of pavalox, and know nothing about monoclonal antibodies

18 comments posted: Friday, September 23rd, 2022


I have absolutely NO reason to complain. My life is good, my family is healthy, I have enough money to not have to worry. While I am sad and upset that infidelity robbed me of so much of life, I've resigned myself to living with that reality. I refuse to let it define the rest of my life.

But I have had a terrible summer and I am mad at myself for wasting it. I love summer.

I had headaches almost continually from early July through mid August. Medicines have been tweaked and things are better. But I stopped going to the gym, stopped walking (the heat was just unbearable with a headache on top of it) I know I will feel better if I can get back to it.

I tried to go to yoga and wound up tearing the ligaments in my toes. That's right, downward dog into standing forward bend put me on the disabled list. I have lost the upper body strength I had gained. So mad at myself.

I am not sleeping well. I fall asleep and then wake after 2-3 hours and lie awake. Immediately, all the thoughts of the infidelity come back. "He said this! He did this!" "How could he?" on and on. The recurring trauma just replays in my brain. The only thing that wipes it out is to play old tv shows on my Kindle, blocking the image and setting the volume to almost imperceptible. I KNOW I'm not getting good sleep that way but it is the only way to stop the invasive thoughts.

I am on all sorts of medicines, I take too much for recurring and unrepentant GERD, take cymbalta for fibromyalgia (which isn't helped by not exercising), all kinds of on and off label stuff for persistent migraine, take melatonin, but stopped it just wasn't working, baclofen for muscle spasms, allergy meds, thyroid meds, meds for IBS, etc, etc, etc. But I am HEALTHY. I have no digestive issues that pose long term risks, no Barretts, no polyps, I cannot digest milk and often have trouble with gluten and ruffage so I take Beano and lactase at the direction of my doctor, my blood pressure is LOW, all other tests are just fine, stress test showed healthy heart NO cardiac calcium etc. The only "serious" issue I have is osteoporosis which improved with injections of prolia.

I am doing ALL the sleep hygiene stuff I know to do. This has been going on for months.

I take care of my granddaughter a few days a week. She is my savior and my biggest blessing. I have a part time job that is fulfilling and for which I am paid well in currency and appreciation.

I'm 68. Not overweight but 10 lbs heavier than I'm comfortable being. I am depressed and miserable and cannot get my ass moving to do the things I want and need to do. This isn't me.

Any unique wisdom from the wonderful people here?

14 comments posted: Tuesday, August 30th, 2022

50th High School Reunion

I wasn't going to go. $75 seemed like a lot of money to spend on a night with people I didn't remember hearing about lives I had long forgotten about. Plus, Covid. But I went to a pre-event at a bar and was encouraged to show up, so I did. It was a lot of fun.

Nice people, reminiscing about forgotten events. They had left the pettiness and insecurities I remembered behind and the geeky men had grown into their ears and noses and become quite handsome. The women were all sizes, mostly a bit larger and seemed quite happy and comfortable in their bodies. I met up with a childhood friend with whom I shared 45 records and teen magazines when I was probably 9 years old. There was a group of us who lived "across the pike" from the elementary school, which was overcrowded, so we went to school in the basement of the local Baptist church. That's where I met my first crushes, who both were there and admitted that they too had crushes on me. So funny.

Being on this site, I was a bit nervous about any creepy stuff happening, but I didn't perceive any. It was fun and lighthearted and they played great music and the food was good.

Class of about 550, unfortunately about 80 of us didn't live till 2022. crying
Counting my blessings!

5 comments posted: Sunday, August 21st, 2022

Diabetes Insipidus

Anyone here have experience? My DS2 was just diagnosed. MRI showed no tumor but a "thickening of the pituitary stalk." It's apparently surprising enough for the neurologist to write it up for a conference.
Desmopressin has alleviated the symptoms but they still need to figure out the cause. He's scheduled for a repeat MRI in 60 days and a visit to an endocrinologist.
He keeps saying "don't worry Mom," which is, of course, ridiculous, he's my kid.
He's also experiencing headaches, minor, helped with ibuprofen, but he's not a headache guy.
Any information will be appreciated.

2 comments posted: Friday, May 6th, 2022

Need to vent

Family brother and sister grew up in a dysfunctional, alcoholic home. Despite this, we have managed to live relatively "normal" lives, great kids, financially stable, etc. We are close. But we don't share everything, I'm the oldest, I tend to not share my problems while being called upon by my siblings for support. Don't get me wrong, I get support from them at times, but I do often feel like I'm expected to be stronger than everyone else. It's okay, I get support elsewhere.

My sister and her husband are going to Hawaii for a special anniversary. I am so happy for her, I've been there several times and I know she'll love it. I contacted her husband to let him know I wanted to treat her to a lei greeting and so needed to know their flight details. My intention was to have both of them greeted at the airport, but I didn't spell that out because I wanted to maintain a little bit of a surprise. He wrote back a RUDE text, saying that he would do that for them if he wanted and I needed to mind my own business and stop interfering.

I'm pissed. I don't interfere. I keep my mouth shut about things that I see in him that are disturbing. I bend over backwards to make special meals for him as he's on a restrictive diet, drove him to the hospital when he was having surgery, etc. We have diametrically opposed political opinions, I have never challenged him and avoid the discussions. I and another sister single handedly put together a wedding for them years ago. I would NEVER say anything to my sister about all this, he's her husband and she will never hear anything negative about him from me.

I simply wanted to do something nice for my dear sister and her husband. If he had said "thanks, but I'd like to do that for my wife" that would have been fine with me, although I may have chosen instead to send flowers to their room.

I don't get it. Except one clue. Years ago, I referred to my sister as [first name, maiden name, married name] He was incensed, her name wasn't [maiden name]. I said she's always be a [maiden name] and he assured me that she stopped being that when she married him. I dropped it, assuming he's that insecure or old fashioned or something.

I'm trying to maintain my composure and leaning towards praying for him in his obviously paranoid and maybe jealous state of mind, but man, I'm pissed.

11 comments posted: Thursday, April 7th, 2022

Can we talk about leased cars?

Throughout my life I have always driven cars into the ground. My last purchased car was a Mazda Millenia and it died after 300,000+ miles. When we became more financially stable, I started to lease. I loved it. I never had to bleed brakes at 3AM or change alternators in the rain.

My lease is up in June. It is likely to be impossible to lease this same car again, due to the shortages. Unless a dealership pulls it out of a hat, I'll opt to buy this one at a very reasonable residual value. And I'd pay cash.

There is the rub. The local dealership wants me to (briefly) finance and then pay it off in a month or so. They make money on that transaction. In addition, they will charge me for the preparation of the document for the new registration and tags (I'm pretty sure I can do that on my own) and they are charging a $300 "safety check" as well. This seems like a real cash grab.

Has anyone bought out a lease with substantially less hassle and do you have advice for me?


4 comments posted: Wednesday, March 23rd, 2022

Solar power

Our panels went live on January 2nd. I just received our first electric bill and we produced more than we used. Mind you, January was a pretty gloomy weather month.

Our monthly payment of $108 stays that way for 20 years. I'll be dead by then. It's at least $100 less than our typical electric bill. We'll see how it goes when the air conditioning is running in the summer.

We will also be paid a fee for extra power we make, funded by the state.

It was a LONG and complicated process requiring a lot of research.

7 comments posted: Wednesday, February 9th, 2022

Another exposure question

An electrician was here on Friday and Monday. He worked near me on Friday but in the basement on Monday. I masked when I paid him close up, we are all fully vaxxed. He tested positive today after waking up with cold symptoms.
How long do I stay away from people assuming I have no symptoms?

11 comments posted: Thursday, January 13th, 2022

Life Lessons

I don't know how I wound up with 4 indoor cats. Well, I KNOW but it's not really what I wanted or thought I'd ever do. I think it's true that once you have one cat you really can't do without another one, or two, or five.

I officially own 3. The fourth is the sister of my third cat. I am (permanently) fostering her in order to get help from the rescue should expensive medical treatment be needed. She has a ventricular septal defect, the murmur is very loud and audible if you put your ear on her belly. The hole is large, affecting circulation in the worst way possible, and is unlikely to close. I vowed to give her the very best life she could have in whatever time she has.

Other than her relatively small size, and a persistent weepy eye, you'd never know she was sick. She bounces around here with more energy than the others, and is incessantly curious. EVERYTHING is a toy. She's mischievous and intrepid, always the first to investigate new things, and totally fearless. She LOVES playing in the water so I've had to adapt their water bowl to a less messy place. She knows when it's bedtime and squeaks at me to follow her so she can curl up next to me. She taunts the 3x bigger male cat I have who is cranky but surprisingly tolerant. She doesn't like not knowing where I am and her inquisitive squeak is designed so that I'll call her to me.

What a lesson she is teaching! We should all strive to live life like our heart could stop beating at any minute.

3 comments posted: Sunday, November 14th, 2021

Mod please

Somehow my thread in OT was duplicated. Can you please delete the extra one?

1 comment posted: Thursday, October 21st, 2021

Another covid transmission question

We have a new grandbaby. We are being very cautious, masking more frequently than required, avoiding large crowds, etc.
I walk with a friend several times a week, outside, maskless. We are both vaccinated. Her husband just tested positive, tested as part of a pre-op requirement. That was on Thursday. She tested negative on Friday. He's asymptomatic, thank goodness, test was repeated yesterday, still positive.
Do I need to avoid walking with her? Or is it safe to walk masked and with a larger space between us?


7 comments posted: Wednesday, October 20th, 2021

Another covid transmission question

Duplicate post

0 comment posted: Wednesday, October 20th, 2021

Excessive daytime sleepiness

Is this a thing? My 70 year old husband is guaranteed to fall asleep whenever he sits down to watch TV, read a book, and today, holding our new granddaughter. I was right there, he is rarely deeply asleep, but nods off many, many times a day.

Is this a medical condition that needs to be addressed? Or just a normal change of life thing?

He uses a CPAP machine most nights, but I don't really notice a difference between the nights he does and doesn't hook it up...


0 comment posted: Friday, October 8th, 2021

Reality vs a mother's perception

My DIL is being induced tomorrow. That could mean I'll be a Grammy tomorrow or the next day or...we all know how that goes.
My son is 38, she is 34. They are both responsible adults, chose parenthood are both adore children. My son is an RN and very nurturing, he is planning to be the main stay at home parent with tons of family support when he has to work.
I have a tendency to think of them as kids. That they don't really have the skill set to deal with diapers, colic, breast vs bottle, etc. It's nonsense of course. Very few of us were ready for all of that, right? And they are certainly more ready than I ever was.
Anyway. I'm so excited to have this granddaughter, am logically confident in their ability to cope,and am stuffing my concerns even as I plan what meals to take them while they are plunged into this next life phase.
Pray or hold a thought for her, please. She has some physical limitations that make induction the wise choice.

20 comments posted: Tuesday, September 28th, 2021

I need help with my diet

I hate complaining. I'm a lucky woman. I have issues, but what 67 year old doesn't? Sometimes it's beyond frustrating, though.

Two days ago I had a small salad. I spent yesterday in pain, heating pad on my stomach. Today I'm a bit better but not great. This is a regular thing.

Nothing is wrong with my GI tract. Recent colonoscopy and endoscopy. The doc told me to take beano, lactaid, etc. It just seems that each day there are fewer and fewer things I can eat comfortably.

I'm already on a restricted diet because of another non-life threatening condition. I can't eat most fruits, a lot of grains, some vegetables, few condiments and dressings, etc. Dairy bothers me too, but that isn't a new thing. On this diet I can eat honeydew and watermelon, a few apple types, blueberries...but fruit often bothers me. Even cooked vegetables hurt.

I can eat meat, feel great if I only eat beef. I eat HB eggs even though I really don't like eggs. Fortunately my cholesterol is good. But I don't want to gain weight!

How do I insure I get proper nutrition? And certainly, avoiding roughage isn't likely to help my "regularity," also an issue.

Any and all suggestions are appreciated.

6 comments posted: Thursday, September 23rd, 2021

Raunchy text messages

My SAfWh is getting really obnoxious spam text messages. I get spam, but far less and NEVER porn related. Is his previous use of porn on his phone browser the reason for this, or is it just a random thing?

My SAfWH is a very unsavvy tech user. He frequently answers calls that he doesn't recognize. He often clicks on web links that are clearly clickbait. I don't think he has clicked on links sent by text but I wouldn't be surprised if he had. He says he doesn't even see these raunchy texts, he's awful about keeping up with text threads and/or voice-mail, so I believe that is true.

We are using the Verizon messaging app on android phones. It doesn't allow an easy way to block specific phone numbers on the app although it appears easier to do that with phone calls.

I'm assuming he's not currently porn hopping.
Is there a good way to stop them from coming? And more concerning, is there a skanky reason he's getting them?

3 comments posted: Wednesday, September 8th, 2021

Mod Please

Can I get an email when someone has a chance, please?

1 comment posted: Wednesday, September 8th, 2021

Porn texts

Not sure if this is the best place for this question but here goes.
My H is a porn/sex addict in recovery. Maybe. He's not engaged with rl people for a long time but online porn has been a longterm issue. I have no reason to believe he's engaging now but I no longer look.
There are blocking apps and controls on his phone but he definitely was using it for skanky stuff in the past. He's getting a lot of really yucky texts. Now, I get spam texts but never of the XX variety. Why is he? Is it just a random thing?
He's a very unsavvy tech user. He frequently answers calls that he doesn't recognize. He often clicks on web links that are clearly click clickbait. I don't think he has clicked on links sent by text but I wouldn't be surprised if he had. He says he doesn't even see these raunchy texts, he's awful about keeping up with text threads and/or voice-mail.
Assuming he's not currently porn hopping, is there a good way to stop them from coming?

3 comments posted: Tuesday, September 7th, 2021

Flu shot

I always get one in late October. But with a new grandbaby coming in early October I'm wondering if I should get one earlier. Will that immunity carry me through flu season?

2 comments posted: Thursday, August 12th, 2021

Post emergent crabgrass killer

I'm not one to immediately jump to chemicals. But the crabgrass is out of control. I've got a lawn that's not all grass anyway, we've got lots of clover and violets. I have seen my neighbor's lawn turn white with a a chemical that blocks chlorophyll but can't find the name of it. Anybody?

3 comments posted: Wednesday, August 11th, 2021

Sick (?) cat question

My two little foster kitties are still with me. I don't really see an end to their visit as one of them has a large ventricular septal defect. The vet just shook his head when he listened, and has never personally seen this, so no prediction on how long she might have. I've been educated as to what to look for as congestive heart failure is pretty inevitable, eventually. So far I've seen no symptoms at all, her respiration rate remains low and her energy and appetite are the same as her sister's.
These guys came to me at ~1.2 lbs, just 6 weeks old. Their mother was euthanized and I suspect they were partially bottle babies although that wasn't said. The healthy one was pretty regularly trying to nurse on her sister, not all the time and that has slowed down significantly. But recently, the sick one has started sucking her own hair, while kneading and purring. I suspect she doesn't feel well and is trying to comfort herself. Any ideas?

Anyone ever raise a VSD little animal?

4 comments posted: Sunday, August 8th, 2021

Charlotte NC

My son and bonus daughter are moving from Dallas to Charlotte. Yay! 8 hour vs 24 hour drive!

They are avid sailors, enjoy a lot of outdoor activities and make very good salaries. Any areas they should lean towards/avoid?

They'll most likely rent for a year till they decide upon a place to make more permanent.

Oh, and in Dallas apartments pets are almost obligatory. Very pet friendly with reasonable associated fees. Is Charlotte similar or will they have trouble finding pet friendly rentals?


0 comment posted: Saturday, July 17th, 2021

Bird disease

Apparently, a disease that causes eye problems is affecting birds across the country. We have been advised to take down feeders to discourage congregation. We regularly clean ours and feed the birds year round. We are lucky enough to live in an area in which many species visit or live.

Doesn't it seem creepy/strange that after a world wide human pandemic, we now see widespread infection in birds?

4 comments posted: Monday, June 28th, 2021

This issue keeps me up several times a week

It happened 2 years ago. My 2 nephews are military, in rather prestigious divisions. I'm very proud of the hard work they have done to get where they are. But, I'm of a religious group that practices pacifism along with the acceptance that others don't believe as we do. That is, that everyone has to listen to their own God/heart/conscience.

I reposted something on FB that nephew #1 found very offensive and insulting. It referred to "boots" which is apparently a reference to military personnel, something that wasn't in my lexicon. Regardless, even though I stand by my interpretation of the post, I immediately removed it when I heard he was hurt and offended and apologized for my ignorance.

I was browbeaten for weeks by his mother, father, wife. I didn't try to defend myself after an initial statement that I didn't realize the connotation and that I apologized for my ignorance and for offending anyone.

Later, the wife and I shared a few light texts, inquiring about our health, etc.

The live 8 hours away and we don't see them often. I always send birthday gifts, especially to their son who is 9. I adore him, he adored me. Since my nephew returned from deployment, I haven't heard from them. I don't need a thank you note or even an acknowledgement, but gift cards I've sent have not been retrieved and I suspect gifts sent to my great nephew are discarded.

Even worse, both my sons got married this year. Not only did no one come, they never even acknowledged the invitation or responded in any way. NO ONE in my family knows about this despite, I simply didn't think sharing the dispute with my sons was beneficial.

They always had a loving, if distant relationship among the cousins.

I can't involve my sister, their mother in this. Her relationship with her son is a bit tricky, too. I won't stress her with this. But, I suspect they will be coming to my town this summer and sister has been told to keep me in the dark. The nephew involved clearly has PTSD which will not be addressed. I could regale you with events which detail this.

I'm kept awake by my sadness over this. And by the division in the family, but I keep it to myself as I believe my sons and my husband may think poorly of my nephew. He's hurting, using me as a scapegoat, I think, and I do believe it's unfair to expect me to have interpreted that term as referring to military personnel. I'm also a bit dismayed by the idea that fighting for freedom doesn't include respect and tolerance for people of different points of view.

I appreciate anyone who has read this far. I know I cannot control this and any additional efforts I make will likely result in more rejection. I doubt if they'd even read anything I send them.

Any thoughts?

8 comments posted: Saturday, June 12th, 2021

Fostering shelter animals Part 2

I have been working with a cat rescue for some time, only recently took on a few longer term fosters. Most were supposed to be a few weeks, the first was, the second became longer. All my fosters got great homes.

I took in two baby girls a few weeks ago. Once they approached 2 pounds I arranged for them to be spayed. Today was spay day.

A bit about them...2 sweet little all silver grey kitties with black noses and green eyes. Little fur balls with round bellies. They had spent virtually all their 6 weeks in a tiny cage. Watching them figure out how to get their legs working on a laminate floor was a hoot.

Jazzy is more adventurous than her sister. She rarely hides. She loves to jump up on the bed to see what's happening and absolutely LOVES to watch TV, her little paws crossed in front of her.

Poppy is a little more timid, but an absolute purr factory as soon as you stroke her. She runs across the room when she sees me, jumps up on my neck and settles herself. She likes to collapse into my arms like a baby and falls asleep.

They cry when separated. It's pitiful.

Well, Poppy was spayed today. Jazzy has a heart murmur. Bad. 5/6 bad. She is seeing a cardiologist on Monday for a very expensive consultation. I don't think it will be good news.

It's unlikely that anyone will want to adopt a cat with predictable health issues. I'm not sure what that means for Poppy in the long term, I'm guessing I'll be asked to keep them for the foreseeable future.

So, fostering a shelter animal is very rewarding, but unpredictable.

(I really don't want to own FOUR cats.)

8 comments posted: Thursday, June 10th, 2021

Tankless water heater, yea or nay?

Our tank is starting to leak. We heat with gas. There is a $750 rebate available for certain types.

Anyone have experience?

18 comments posted: Thursday, June 3rd, 2021

New laptop purchase questions

If you had multitudes of pictures on a hard drive, backed up, of course but I like them nearby, and $1000, what laptop would you buy? PC only, please.

My old, but upgraded laptop is annoying me with its slowness.

I multitask constantly so need that to be a specification.

I'm thinking if they are having trouble building cars due to a poor supply of chips, computers won't be far behind major price increases.

[This message edited by Lionne at 3:15 PM, June 1st (Tuesday)]

13 comments posted: Tuesday, June 1st, 2021

Best. Wedding. Ever.

On our way home, driving from Dallas to NJ. Exhausted.

My dress was a success and I felt great in it, mostly. It fit perfectly. I have the remnants of imposter syndrome so I had occasional panicky thoughts that looked like a clowny toad woman. But I squashed it and embraced the glamor!

Pictures to come!

[This message edited by Lionne at 9:48 AM, May 13th (Thursday)]

28 comments posted: Tuesday, May 11th, 2021

Quick question for ladies of a certain age

I have interstitial cystitis. I'm also old and apparently drying up like a prune. I've been prescribed topical estrogen but found it irritating. My doctor suggested that I try the estring. It's a pessary that dispenses a small amount of estrogen.

I got some immediate relief with insertion, probably because of support for a minor prolapse. I have to reinsert it after a BM, sorry for the tmi.

But I've developed a nasty yeast infection that's not responding to otc cream. Is this common? Can it be circumvented so I get the benefits of the medication and support?

I've contacted my doctor but know someone here might have experience.


5 comments posted: Monday, May 10th, 2021

Dog bite

I really love dogs. I don't want the trouble of owning one but there are a lot of dogs in my history. Wonderful friends.

Last Saturday my (animal fearing) neighbor alerted me to a stray dog in my front yard. I ran out, wet hair and in my bathrobe, to see a tiny white dog, trembling in my yard. I scooped her up, afraid she'd run into the street or into the dense, brambly woods. As I did, she turned her head to bite my thumb. I don't blame her, I'd have done the same if a stranger lifted me up.

I had to report it to animal control as efforts to find her home in my neighborhood were fruitless. I'm glad I did. Her owner was found but the doggie hadn't had shots for 7 years. I know the chance of rabies is small but animal control will check her in 10 days.

Apparently the dog doesn't go outside much. These neighbors have a high fence surrounding their house and use pee pads instead of walking them. But the dog seemed poorly cared for, pampered but not groomed or vetted. She had very bad teeth. The bite is mostly healed with no problem.

There is a tiny bit of worry that I'll have to get treatment right before we head to Texas for our son's wedding.

I get it, vets are expensive. But to not get basic care on a yearly basis is not animal friendly.

Just a vent.

5 comments posted: Saturday, April 24th, 2021

Ted Nugent

I'm guessing karma/god is messing with him. Couldn't happen to a nICer gUy.

10 comments posted: Wednesday, April 21st, 2021

Anxiety, weddings, long distance driving and dreams

My anxiety is through the roof even though there is no REAL reason for it. We are driving 1200 miles to our son's wedding, transporting supplies for it, along with my expensive dress. But I have it all organized and am not the type to expect everything to go perfectly.

Two night ago my intense dream was that I was charged with cleaning out an old house that had accumulated tons of junk. I was "helped" but a couple of adolescent boys, with good intentions but with all the trouble preteen kids bring. By the end of the dream I had made decent progress.

But the constant, unending DECISIONS I had to make were exhausting. Much like my real life.

Last night's dream was just bizarre. A group of orangutans were handed to me to foster. They consisted of an adult, a baby, a toddler and a young boy. Along with a tablet computer which was, oddly, also an orangutan. I let them all our back to wander the woods, and my dad, dead since 1987, showed up at my back door holding the adult, muddy and dirty, so now we have to round them up and put them into the shower, one by one.

I get the interpretation of the first dream but the second one was just weird.

Hope I can sleep tonight!

6 comments posted: Wednesday, April 7th, 2021

To talk or not to talk...

My marriage is in a weird place. I'm not going anywhere unless he engages with RL women. He is an addict and slips with porn happen. I don't dwell on it because I cannot control it but there are filters on media and devices that he probably could circumvent. It's up to him to continue his recovery work. From what I see, he's okay. But addicts are never not addicts.

We are friends. Good friends that can depend on one another, we enjoy the same hobbies and activities and have 2 great sons, one, married and expecting a baby and one getting married. It should be among the happiest times of our lives.

And it is. Except I still have an underlying anger towards him. For denying me of a normal sex life, for treating me like shit and taking out all his frustrations on me, for more or less abandoning his kids to explore his hobbies. He feels absolutely terrible about it all, works every day to be a better man, and is grateful that he still has his family.

We've talked all this out ad nauseum. He knows I am not "healed" from all the trauma and knows how horribly I was damaged. But I feel the urge to tell him again, how angry I am that his actions destroyed the "we" that could have been. We are weird in that we don't enjoy going out to drink, prefer an ice cream cone, love to work in our yard and garden, we like to go birding and whale watching, and prefer travel that involves nature and cheap accommodations instead of fancy places and old buildings. There are few people who share our kind of lifestyle and, if not for the years of abuse and infidelity, are lucky we found each other.

So, do I express my anger knowing it will probably accomplish nothing other that to make him feel like shit, ashamed and embarrassed, and won't change his actions? It seems pointless to speak up.

But I'd love the opinion of the wise people here.


14 comments posted: Wednesday, April 7th, 2021

TV shows and social justice plots

Most of my favorite main stream TV shows have featured some version of a social justice theme. As a privileged white woman, I'm watching and trying to learn about the experiences of others and trying to clue in to any potential unconscious biases I may have.

I'd love the opinions of people here on what shows get it right, and which miss the mark.

I found myself having an odd reaction to the varied characters on Bridgerton. I was a bit confused by the unexplained mixed racial characters knowing that it wasn't congruent with historical fact. I thought perhaps the series chose to just ignore race entirely, which was an interesting observation. Then there was an explanation of that detail which added another interesting detail. And THEN I found that I was thoroughly enjoying seeing all the different skin tones and hair types along with all the great costumes.

This show was clearly pure escapism. Others have been hard to watch. But, in your opinions, which address the issues in a more realistic manner?

3 comments posted: Wednesday, March 31st, 2021

Inoculations for grandparents to be

Do I need boosters to be safe around my future grandbaby? My DIL is going to check with her infectious disease doctor but I'm just wondering.

I had all the 50s 60s childhood diseases...

2 comments posted: Friday, March 19th, 2021

Blocked websites aaarrrrggghhh!

Why is my router suddenly blocking websites?! I'm trying to search for pantyhose and it's blocking spanx as part of "lingerie." Nobody has control of my router except me and I didn't block anything.


5 comments posted: Monday, March 8th, 2021

Husband is back in the hospital

A very scary morning. He got up, rather quickly, and I heard a crash. He fell and was very disoriented. He was apparently conscious but non-responsive, intermittently. He could follow my directions a little, "stay there, don't get up" but there were periods where he looked at me as though he didn't know me. When he finally sat up, he went "out" again, and was breathing with a gurgling sound and not responding. It was terrifying.

When the paramedics got here he was better, although his lips were still gray.

They won't let me in the hospital.[CAN I JUST RANT AGAINST COVID DENIERS WHO HAVE PARTLY PUT US IN THIS POSITION!!!] He is cognitively fine right now, but until I scared him by describing his symptoms, was insisting he's fine. He is listening to me when I tell him what questions to ask.

They found low hemoglobin, not horrible, 11, but they suspect a gastric bleed, they'll monitor, are giving him a protonix drip, and if he's still low tomorrow, will do a colonoscopy and endoscopy. They've lowered his dose of blood pressure meds.

Many years ago, his mother was rushed to the hospital around this time. Her heart was severely damaged and she never came out of it when they attempted surgery, died in late January.

Me, I'm cleaning. That's what I do.

60 comments posted: Monday, December 21st, 2020

Covid vaccine

Don't misunderstand, I'm lining up asap. But I do have concerns about the speed at which it was developed and approved. I'm not finding anything alarming in the list of side effects, but I don't know if I completely trust that.

Any thoughts from those smarter than I?

210 comments posted: Wednesday, December 9th, 2020

Anybody here!?

Not much action tonight. I'm upset about something and thought I needed a pick me up.

Tell me the best holiday jokes you heard this year...

Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?

Because he had very low elf esteem.

2 comments posted: Saturday, January 4th, 2020

Any way to track a dumb phone

My husband is still struggling with inappropriate surfing. He didn't cross the porn line but it's potentially a matter of time. I'm not willing to wait.

So he got himself a dumb phone.

We used to use a tracker on Verizon with dumb phones but they don't even sell dumb phones.

I have Verizon, he has consumer cellular.

Any ideas?

[This message edited by Lionne at 4:37 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)]

2 comments posted: Wednesday, November 13th, 2019

What's on your menu?

Memorial day picnics! Summer is on the way!

Our menu

Fresh Jersey strawberries, picked ourselves


Green salad

Pasta salad



Chicken BBQ

Chips and dip

Corn on the cob

Rosemary grilled potatoes

Oreo truffles


Fresh iced tea

Wine and beer

Even though I'm not allowed to eat 2/3 of this, I'm looking forward to it!

3 comments posted: Friday, May 25th, 2018

They are greasing poles in Philly...

My first reaction was that this is a hate crime again Polish people. The I remembered I do live near a city known for stupidity.

This guy could be the poster child.

1 comment posted: Sunday, January 21st, 2018

Willie Nelson

My FB had a link to his new song, Still Not Dead. I'm making it my theme song.

4 comments posted: Sunday, April 30th, 2017

(almost) free books

These are a testament to the bad early days...

All gone!

[This message edited by scaredyKat at 12:25 PM, January 17th (Tuesday)]

1 comment posted: Tuesday, January 17th, 2017

Funny/cute video thread

Mods, is this okay? There used to be one on here. I loved to see the new posts.

If this is continued, please remember the guidelines, no religious, or political videos!

Here's my current favorite. I think she'll give Taylor Swift a run for her money!

12 comments posted: Friday, April 22nd, 2016

My strange new obsession

Dr. Pimple Popper. Website. Fascinating. And I've branched out so I now know how to remove abscess in the abdomen also.

But those people who are NOT medical folks, with their exacto knives, dirty fingers, etc. messing with things that very well may be infectious, MRSA, etc. { shudder }

Judging from the views, I'm not the only one attracted to this stuff. Anyone else willing to own up?

[This message edited by scaredyKat at 3:18 AM, March 8th (Tuesday)]

12 comments posted: Tuesday, March 8th, 2016

Grammies anyone?

I'm loving the music this year. And my man, Jackson Browne, always happy to see him.

He's finally starting to show his age.

I think I need to explore some new artists.

2 comments posted: Monday, February 15th, 2016

The Spiritual Child

Wow. interesting stuff. My DS, 32, a recovering alcoholic and newly diagnosed BP patient says it answers many questions and describes much of what he and other addicts feel as they work their program, that the need for and search for a spiritual life is essential. As a child, he was amazing in his innate empathy, far beyond his years, his ability to see beyond himself, and in worship, (we worship silently) to center himself far faster and more quickly than most adults. I'm not a believer in a corporeal God, but do believe in something transcendent to myself, I allowed my kids to find their own way.

This is an absolutely fascinating read.

0 comment posted: Friday, October 2nd, 2015

Oregon Vacation!

What a beautiful state! We had a wonderful time.

Whale watching, scenic wonderment, seafood. Although I must say, Jersey has you beat on tomatoes...

The dog detects the whales. Barks and lifts one ear.

We gave up on selfies. Enlisted passerbys.

I fell in love with a bunch of different trees.

Rufous Hummingbird

Beautiful vistas

Sunset from our room in a lovely Inn in Yachats

3 comments posted: Thursday, August 6th, 2015

Make your own hologram

I seriously want one, but I'll probably cut off my finger...

0 comment posted: Sunday, August 2nd, 2015

If you crave a very long, multi volume series....

And enjoy speculative fiction mixed with revisionist history, mythology and extrasensory abilities, I strongly recommend an old series I am rereading by Julian May.

The Saga of the Pliocene Exile

(4 books) The Many Colored Land, The Golden Torc, The Nonborn King, The Adversary

The Galactic Milieu Trilogy Jack the Bodiless, Diamond Mask, Magnificat


That is the order in which they were written. Frankly, I think you should read Intervention first, The Pliocene Exile books second, and The Galactic Milieu last.

All are available in Kindle form although some of the transliteration is just awful. I managed to find most of them online at my library and downloaded them that way.

Lots of fun and lots of twists and turns that end up in places you don't expect. And interesting speculation about the future genetic shifts in humanity.

The French Canadians among us will enjoy the allusions and the language.

3 comments posted: Tuesday, May 12th, 2015

Great Holiday Kids' books

The thing I miss the most about retirement is the opportunity to read to kids and tell stories. I do/did dramatic readings of all the books I read aloud, and the one requirement the students had of the new librarian was the she do "funny voices." I have limitations, of course and while reading the first book below, my Yiddish tended to migrate to an Irish brogue, (which I don't do well.)

Anyway, these are a few of my favorite for the December holidays. Hershel for Hanukkah, of course. There are several others of a more serious nature. If you are interested, I can get the names for you. Especially if you are a non-Jewish family interested in expanding your cultural knowledge.

The Bird in Santa's Beard is wonderfully illustrated and explains why there are SO MANY Santas all around.

And my all time favorite is about a boy named Edward, who shows up in more of David McPhail's books, who is in the first grade and JUST CANNOT master reading. His parents insist that the teacher NOT test him but be patient. Edward is worried and worries about it as he falls asleep on Christmas Eve. Well, he wakes up when he hears sounds in the house, and sees that he has JUST MISSED the jolly old man. But, to his dismay, Santa has dropped his book in Edward's living room. Edward, (no dummy after all, he does know how to count to 100 and knows the names of ALL the dinosaurs) cleverly figures out a way to signal Santa, who comes back and asks Edward to accompany him on his journey. Along the way, a magical thing happens, and is told in a way only David McPhail can tell it.

Wonderful story...

0 comment posted: Sunday, December 14th, 2014

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