Newest Member: zurichtime

HFSSC

Me, 54 Him, 45 (JMSSC) Married 24 years. Reconciled.

How much is one person supposed to deal with??

Y’all, I wish I was making this shit up. It does not seem possible for one person’s life to have so much crap. And I promise, I’m no drama Queen.

So my mom is apparently meaner than COVID and is fully recovered. Daddy, who tested positive but was really not symptomatic, has lost 25 lbs and is just not eating. So we are making decisions about possible hospice for him.

And today I’m in the ER with my almost 30 yr old ds who has epilepsy. He had 2 seizures yesterday and hasn’t kept anything down since Tuesday. He is getting some IV fluid and seizure meds. He had not had a really bad seizure in a couple of years and had one yesterday that lasted close to 2 minutes.

JM is having major surgery next month for an ear problem that could potentially lead to a brain infection.

And I found out yesterday that there is nothing else but surgery that could help my foot/ankle arthritis. I have 4 or 5 joints that are bone on bone. But I can’t even think about surgery right now.

Y’all, I don’t have any reserve left. I’m trying to take care of myself but the hits just keep coming.

18 comments posted: Thursday, October 7th, 2021

I just can’t. More Covid

My mom has COVID. Yay.

She refused the vaccine, of course. It’s microchipped, or it’s the Mark of the Beast. Or some such nonsense.

My niece, who lives with them, started feeling bad last Thursday. She is between her 1st and 2nd vaccine doses. I rapid tested her Friday night and she was positive. Her room is on the opposite side of the house from my parents’ and she’s very responsible and strict w mask, hand washing and isolating herself. Except my mom was determined to catch it, as bizarre and stupid as that sounds. She kept going in my niece’s room, and then her bright and shining moment: she deliberately finished a sandwich that my niece had eaten off.

Mom called me at work Tuesday, sounding awful. I tested her that night and it was, of course, positive. So the last 48 hours has been just delightful. I’m checking her vitals and oxygen level every couple of hours. Thank God Daddy has tested negative every time. He got vaccinated when he was at my work for rehab in the spring. But Tuesday night when I went to check on Mom, Daddy was standing at the kitchen sink, naked from waist down. I asked what he was doing. “Trying to get the shit off my hands.” Lawd. So I got him to the bathroom and TMI ALERT discovered he was impacted. That took almost an hour to, um, address.

Today I had to take her to the ER. Her oxygen level was low and she was so weak I barely got her to the car and I couldn’t get her out of the car when we got to her doctor’s office. Long, exhausting day. But she ended up getting monoclonal antibodies infusion. It was scary… some of her tests were very suspicious for blood clots in her lungs but that was ruled out.

She did ask me how soon she could get her vaccine shot, so I guess she is a believer now. 🤦‍♀️

Praying that Daddy stays negative and I do as well. I’ve been wearing a KN95 mask and face shield when I’m in their house and in the car with her today. I’m so damn tired.

29 comments posted: Thursday, September 9th, 2021

More fun at the S S C compound

Y’all, I would write a book if I thought anyone would believe it.

I wrote on Tush’s COVID thread that my facility had to open the COVID unit back up again. We had one positive patient and 6 exposed that we know of. I had to work all day last Saturday after working 44 hours already.

Then, just because clearly my life was going a little too well, I got a text, then a phone call from my niece who has been staying with my parents. Just as a refresher for those who haven’t been playing along at home, my parents live about 200 feet from me and JM. My niece is 27 and lives there but works full time. She is there in the evenings and mom and dad have been on their own during the day. We check in on them frequently; my sister does their grocery shopping.

Anyway, Mom had a breakdown one morning last week and I spent an hour and a half listening to her vent and rage. Mostly about the topic I can’t bring up in this forum. She seemed better over the next couple of days. Until she lost it Saturday night and hit Daddy. Nobody saw it happen. He told my niece Mom had hit him. When I got to their house she was just seething and boiling over with rage. Just horrific. I told her one of them was coming home with me. She said “Take him!!! Take him away from her so I don’t have to look at him!!”””

So daddy has been here since Saturday. It’s like having a 250 lb toddler, bless his heart. He is super sweet. Compliant. No trouble at all. But has ZERO short term memory. Someone has to be with him constantly. He can’t dress himself or bathe without a lot of help. But he feeds himself and like I said is just so sweet.

Mom… not so much. We can’t let her hurt him. I am also afraid that he will not recognize her one day and hit back. And he would hurt her bad. My siblings and I have lived with this our entire lives. And so far in our lives when she reaches this point she has never been able to get it back together without inpatient care. So I’ve spent the whole week trying to find an inpatient psych bed for her, trying to keep Daddy clean, dry, safe, and fed,—oh, and doing my work from home because that has to keep getting done.

Took her to the dr and she was sarcastic and hateful. Told the dr we were shipping her off to a mental institution because she was crying on a couple of days. That we were holding Daddy hostage and forcing her to go to the loony bin.

I drove her around for 4 hours doing every little thing she wanted. Library, CVS, Walgreens (she wears a mask everywhere) and groceries. Got lunch and brought for her and Daddy to eat together. When she went home I crashed because daddy took a nap. I’d mentioned I wanted to shower him and JM sent our ds29 to get their shower bench for me to use. Mom posted this pissy thing on Facebook about how someone just walked in her house and took the shower chair she needs to bathe safely. Forced her to climb all over my niece’s belongings to get her other, less safe chair.

It pissed me off. So I took the damn shower chair back and threw it back in the bathroom. (Not a healthy way to have handled it.). Stormed out. She starts trying to back track saying “Oh, it’s okay. I’m fine with this other chair.” Rolled my eyes and left.

I was not happy with the way I acted and I wanted to try to make things right with her. Why, oh why would I think that would be possible??? She jumped right in and started with all of my buttons and I let her push them. To the point that I just broke. And as I was standing there, her youngest child, sobbing and shaking, my mom looked at me and SMILED. She said “HF, you are CRYING. You need to be in a mental institution.”

Y’all believe that shit? I’m almost 55. I have never allowed her to get to me like that. Never. And she was satisfied. Gloating that she’d broken me like that.

Oof. Oh and my brother and sister think I’m doing all the right things. They “have my back” and oh , “anything I need” you know, I should just ask. But neither one of them has showed up to give me a break or help so I could go in to work. My sister does not work. She lives rent free in the house my mom and dad lived in before moving next to me. My brother’s wife does not work. She home schools their 14 year old daughter but makes time to do what she wants to do.

Meanwhile I work full time in a SNF, have a part time home care job. JM is here but he works 40-50 hours minimum on the furniture he builds. DS29 is perfectly willing to help but again, it shouldn’t be his row to hoe.

I have a bed for her in a Geri-psych hospital unit that’s about N hour away. But the paperwork is not easy to get together. After she’s released, idk what that will look like. But I have a caregiver who can start in 2 weeks. We can’t afford much more than 4 hours a day but that will at least help me get back to work.

But I am so tired and overwhelmed. And angry.

JM is absolutely wonderful. He is taking care of me and making me take rest breaks and do things for me. But he’s pretty stretched with his dad. That’s a whole other story too.

We don’t have a flat on its back, fully deflated emoji. But we need one.

7 comments posted: Friday, August 6th, 2021

Fireworks

Fucking fuckers with the fucking fireworks.

Motherfuckers “celebrating.” Celebrating our country’s “Independence Day.” Most of them probably would never even think about serving this country in any way. Just an excuse to get drunk and make a bunch of things go BOOM.

Never mind the people who actually served and now have PTSD. Or animals that don’t understand what’s going on. My husband is in the bed. With pillows over his head. My dog is a nervous wreck and won’t sit for more than a minute.

I posted something on Facebook a couple of years ago and my sister tried to shame me because it hurt her son’s feelings. He has autism and he gets so much joy out of fireworks and he couldn’t understand why I was so angry about it. Wtf, my husband is shaking and crying and jumping out of his skin with every boom and pop. But let’s put on a fake happy face and not hurt anybody’s feelings.

It won’t stop. I’m surrounded by ignorant rednecks, especially the oh, so wonderful “Three Percenter” next door neighbors.

Why is this shit so important to people? Why is their “right” to get drunk and blow shit up more important than my husband’s right to peace and feeling safe in his own home?

I wish it would just start pouring down rain and ruin it all.

Thanks for letting me vent.

16 comments posted: Sunday, July 4th, 2021

“Grown up” — Triggered

I am triggered and really pissed.

I’ve been binge watching old medical dramas. Finished St. Elswehere and I’m on ER now. Both of those shows had a lot of infidelity and to be frank, the infidelity doesn’t bother me as much as the number of times I’ve heard “Grow up!” Or “Act like a grown up” or my very favorite, “Let’s just act like adults.” Those statements are ALWAYS from the cheating asshole in response to being called out for their assholery.

The one that just set me off had to do with cheating in medical research but it played out the same way. High dollar famous surgeon is fooling around with the data and Dr. Benton calls him on it. And it’s textbook Wayward Handbook behavior. “Grow up! This is how it’s done.”

It just pisses me off SO much. If lying, cheating, gaslighting and manipulating is being a grownup then you can find me sucking my thumb in the corner.

My 1st H, we’ll just call him X-Shat. (Thanks to Tesla for that name.) He is a sociopath and I’m well rid of him. The only decent thing he ever did was to completely abandon me and my son. I won’t go into all the ways he abused me but the worst thing he did was to share the most private, personal information about me with his AP. The last conversation I had with either of them was when I called to discuss custody/visitation. She wouldn’t put him on the phone so I said some unkind words. She replied with this: “Oh, you call me pathetic. What about you? You act like such a great mother. What about your other kid? The one you gave away so you could stay in college?”

Fast forward 20 years. Literally had no contact except for one email when DS was about 15. He was coming up on age 21’and decided he’d like to connect with his biological father. I had to talk to the now-wifetress about travel arrangements and how to handle a seizure if it happened. And it was just so surreal. I finally said “You know, I can’t do this. Having this nicey-nice conversation like we are friends when the last thing either of you ever said to me was to throw my most personal, private experience in my face as a weapon. And nobody ever apologized to me for any of that.” And this bitch says “Well, we just all need to act like adults about this. And remember the important thing is that X-Shat and DS finally have a relationship.”

Omg… this man left me with a newborn to go to his next Army assignment. I was paying all of the bills, taking care of the baby. He’s living with this bitch for the whole year. Then he completely ghosted me after the telephone conversation above. Never sent me a penny. And twenty years later, “acting like adults” apparently means pretending everything is fine and it was my fault they have a relationship? When I talked to X-shat and said the same thing to him, his response was “Well, I mean, I can apologize for things that happened 20 years ago, but it won’t change anything.”

My kids learned before they were in kindergarten to say they were sorry if they did something wrong. But no, these “adults don’t need to say they’re sorry.

Ugh. Thanks for letting me vent. Nothing has hit me like this in a really long time.

7 comments posted: Sunday, June 6th, 2021

Positive R Story

Well I wanted to post this in the sticky thread but it’s closed.

The first part of this post is in General, topic “50 years ago”

My parents have been M almost 61 years. My mom is mentally ill and was not controlled or treated at all for most of my childhood. Daddy was the glue that held our family together. He took care of my siblings and I. He was the one who attended all our school functions. He was the cool “band dad” who went to all the football games an competitions for 6 plus years as my sister, brother and I made our way through HS.

As I was typing out the other post I realized I know a LOT more about my parents than is probably healthy. I’ll skip most of that here. But basically, my mom had an A with their BIL (dad’s sister’s H) and they R’ed. (More rugswept than reconciled). A couple of years ago my dad confessed to multiple PA/ONS during their early M. It just about destroyed my mom. His dementia is so far advanced that there is nothing he could or can do to help heal their M. Oh, but she tried. She bought a SA workbook for him. Tried to do MC.

I felt so helpless. I understand her pain. But it’s my Daddy. Who is vulnerable and child like now. And my siblings and I have struggled with the decisions about the future.

Here’s the beautiful part of the story though. Since Daddy almost died in early April, Mom has done a lot of healing. I think it’s been happening slowly and the crisis with his health solidified things. She’s been going to work with me a couple of days a week and spending the day with him. We’ve talked a lot during the drive to/from. She has found acceptance and peace. I think she’s found, if not forgiveness, then the grace to just not keep punishing him. She acknowledged to me that she had been a terrible wife and mother a lot of the time. And I told her she didn’t cause him to cheat any more than he caused her to. They both made choices. But he took care of us and her during the times she couldn’t take care of herself. He never ever disparaged her or allowed us to disrespect her in any way.

And in all of the dysfunction and brokenness, they raised 3 children of their own, plus half a dozen unofficial foster children. And my sister, brother and I love each other. We love and honor our parents. All of our children have close relationships with each other and with their grandparents. So for all they did wrong, they got some stuff right.

Daddy is coming home from rehab next week. And Mom has been helping to prepare the house. She’s even willingly parted with stuff she’s hoarded, in order to make their home safer for him. (This is HUGE, y’all.). And she is planning a vow renewal and anniversary party a couple of weeks after he comes home. It will be on their 61st anniversary.

It’s never too late to do better. It’s never too late to change unhealthy patterns. That’s the one thing about my mom that I admire more than anything else. She’s 80. A CSA survivor. She has several mental illnesses that are difficult all by themselves. No one would blame her if she just quit trying. But she won’t quit trying to do better.

She has a peace about her now that I don’t think I’ve ever seen in my life. And that makes me a happy daughter.

5 comments posted: Saturday, May 22nd, 2021

50 years ago... an update on my parents

This is something I’ve wanted to post for a little while and I couldn’t decide where to post it. Ultimately I decided to make two posts. One here and one in the Positive R stories thread in Recon.

For those who don’t know, here’s some back story. Close to 20 years ago my parents came over and dropped the bomb that my mom had an A and they were R’ing. Several weeks later my mom further elaborated that she and my uncle (my dad’s sister’s H) were “deeply in love” but had decided to sacrifice their great romance for the sake of their respective Ms.

Uncle B died 8 years ago and to my knowledge there was NC til the end.

Three years ago as my dad’s dementia worsened, he apparently “confessed” to multiple infidelities in the early part of their M. He told my sister that Mom had kept him up all night asking him questions over and over and he just exploded on her. We have no way of knowing the truth about any of it. Half the time he doesn’t remember why she was so mad at him.

At any rate, it’s clear that he had intended on taking whatever secrets he had to the grave. But his dementia took away the ability to protect his secrets. It was horrific. My mom had to be hospitalized for several weeks because we were afraid she was going to harm him. For 3 years she has raged and lashed out. It’s been hard for my siblings and I. I’ve spent countless hours with my mom, letting her vent, sharing the things I’ve learned here and through the last 10 years. There were times when she was so hateful to him we truly thought separating them would be the only way forward.

But then we almost lost him on April 1st. He’s been in the hospital and then rehab since April 2nd. And I think my mom was finally able to find a place of acceptance and peace. She misses him at home. She goes to work with me a couple of days a week and they spend the day together. I’ll share more about that in Recon.

What I want to say here is this: as BSes, most of us are in agreement that to know a painful truth is better than living in a comfortable lie. And never have I seen it more clearly. I don’t know what would have happened if my parents had gotten IC and then MC earlier in their M. I know they both had really challenging FOO shit that warped their sexuality and relationships. They were broken people, 19 and 20 years old who each thought they’d found a savior who would magically cure their brokenness. This last couple of years has been hell on earth for both of them.

This is why so many of us urge WS who have not confessed to do so. My mom was deprived of her agency in her own life for over half a century. She was powerless as a child and adolescent in her FOO and she never imagined my dad could betray or hurt her. She was truly blindsided when this all came out. I won’t say there is never a situation where the truth should not be told. But I will assert that those situations are very rare and unique circumstances. I believe that it is overwhelmingly better for a BS to have the truth about his or her own life.

*** Just so it’s clear. I don’t excuse or condone eithe me one of them. Her A with my uncle was as wrong as any PA that he perpetrated. And there was a period of time that I could not talk to her at all because of it. I’ve also shared here before that she has bipolar disorder as well as borderline characteristics. It’s a huge dysfunctional mess. But check the R forum for why I’m smiling today.

4 comments posted: Saturday, May 22nd, 2021

F*cking Covid

Tuesday was the first anniversary of my MIL’s death due to COVID complications. I just got the news that one of her best friends, who was also a friend of mine, passed away last night.

We had a cookout at FIL’s 3 weeks ago. First time since COVID. First time he’s had anyone besides us at the house since MIL passed. There was a group of friends who came to all of our gatherings for the past 5 or 6 years; C and her husband were part of this group. They didn’t come to the cookout because C was running a fever. We heard a week later that she, her H and their grandson all had COVID. She was on a ventilator for the past 2 weeks and died last night.

I’m so tired of this. We don’t know how to tell FIL. Part of me feels he is the one person who can truly know how C’s H feels and they can maybe help each other. But the timing is just brutal. Meanwhile, people are all but rioting over masks and scared of vaccines.

Fucking COVID.

16 comments posted: Saturday, May 8th, 2021

Abuse t/j

I replied in the thread and was sending PMs to individual members when it occurred to me this was a better route.

I want to express my gratitude for this thread and for y’all being patient with me. It was never my intention to minimize anyone else’s experience or to be argumentative.

I’ve had several different incidents in my life recently, none of them infidelity related, that have stirred up a lot of old trauma. I was reading The Body Keeps the Score but put it down a few weeks back. I think I really need to pick it up again. And it may be time for a tuneup with my IC.

Thank you all.

5 comments posted: Wednesday, May 5th, 2021

Hoarding. So disgusted

Daddy is still in rehab. We have purchased a new bed and mattress for him but have to clean out his room to get the old one out and new one in. Then their clothes dryer stopped working. I had to clean out the laundry area and pantry so JM can work on it. DS29’and I have spent the entire day sorting canned goods, etc. we have thrown away 8-10 large black trash bags full of expired food. Just from the pantry. We haven’t even looked in the refrigerator. 🤢

There are at least 31 bottles of laundry detergent. 7 gallons of bleach. I found a milk crate full of soap. Individual unopened bars of soap.

THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE LIVING IN THIS HOUSE!!!!

I am so disgusted. There are people starving. There are people in our own community in need of food, hygiene items, etc and my mom just keeps buying shit so it can sit and rot. What the actual f*ck is wrong with her????????

My sister won’t stand up to her. I refuse to take her shopping or buy anything for her.

Aaaaargh!!!!!

Just needed to vent. Thank you and you may return to your regularly scheduled programming.

14 comments posted: Wednesday, May 5th, 2021

Update and a giggle

My dad was admitted for rehab where I work earlier this week. I'm happy. Our rehab department is amazing and I love being able to look on him throughout the day.

This morning as I was sitting with him, he looked up and asked me, "Why does it say 'Pee' on my window?" I was confused until I looked up at the window myself.

We had the room numbers on the outside of the windows to make it easier for visitors to find when we weren't allowed inside visitors.

6 comments posted: Friday, April 9th, 2021

If you need a good laugh

Just follow me around. 😂😂

This week’s episode: See HF get both feet in her mouth at the same time!!!

We admitted a lady for rehab 3 weeks ago. She has the same name as JM’s great aunt who was the last remaining sibling of his grandmother. And who I very clearly recalled having passed away. When I saw her picture I thought, “Wow! She even looks like Aunt C.”

I went to this lady’s room to do my assessment and said to her, “Did you know there was another C_____ G_____ in this county?” She said she didn’t. I said, “My husband’s great aunt was also named C_____ G_____ but she passed away a few years ago. You even look like her. It’s uncanny.”

Well, the other day I was assisting with family visitation and this lady had a visit scheduled. Imagine my surprise and chagrin when JM’s cousin walked through the door. Yeah. It was Aunt C. Apparently I was wrong about the whole “passed away” thing.

I sent my ds22 a text and said, “Hey, remember Aunt C? Mimi’s sister?” He said “Yeah. What’s up?” I said, “Turns out she’s not nearly so dead as I thought she was.”

How was YOUR week?

15 comments posted: Sunday, March 21st, 2021

Prayer request-horrible situation

I'm asking for prayers, good thoughts, whatever you can offer for a coworker of mine. She just lost her fiance about a month ago very suddenly and unexpectedly. Her home caught fire early Sunday morning with her and her youngest child asleep. Thankfully, her older two were staying with grandparents this weekend. She and the 2 year old suffered severe smoke inhalation injury and carbon monoxide poisoning. She is at a burn center and baby is at the children's hospital in our city. He coded twice in the ambulance and currently exhibits no brain activity.

I'm heartbroken and our entire staff is devastated. She is a CNA who is wonderful at her job and has been with us for several years.

Please lift her, the baby and her entire family up with me, as a miracle is needed for her son.

Thank you.

51 comments posted: Monday, March 1st, 2021

Gift giving level-- Expert

Y'all, I'm dying here.

JM just came and said "I'm sorry, your Christmas present isn't going to get here in time."

I said that was okay, because one of his isn't going to get here in time either. I had ordered this personalized pillow with our angel pug Jake and our new pug Samson talking to each other. It was so perfect and I didn't realize it was coming from China when I ordered it.

I told him his present was coming from China and he said mine was too.

Y'all, we ordered the same thing for each other.

Only the background was different. This is already my favorite Christmas ever.

[This message edited by HFSSC at 4:31 PM, December 22nd (Tuesday)]

12 comments posted: Tuesday, December 22nd, 2020

December 14

December 14, 1996

Our wedding day. He was 22. I was almost 30. I was an addict deep in denial. He was running from trauma and felt safe with me. We were in love. And far over our heads.

10 years ago today (yes, on our anniversary) he wrote an email to the last OW. I found it 2 weeks later after spending the previous day, my birthday, with dear friends who were burying their 23 year old son. I had told him after the last one I would not let it go again. Oh, man we were such a mess. I kept losing jobs and getting in trouble because of drugs. He had a ONS (that he confessed to because the guilt was eating him up). He had an online A. Then an EA with an old GF. That one... I didn’t have SI then. My addiction was out of control and I ended up getting sent to a 30 day program. Two things happened during that 30 days. I finally hit my bottom and grabbed sobriety with both hands. And the A between JM and that OW ramped up. About 2 weeks after I got home I decided to get the phone records. It was bad. I demanded MC and he reluctantly agreed. He blew off the first appointment and blamed it on me. (I didn’t make sure he was awake). At the second appointment he said he didn’t like the counselor because she was on my side. I told him to pick anyone else, but of course he never did.

I made a decision then. My sobriety was the most important thing. If I didn’t stay sober I was going to lose everything anyway. So I told him I wasn’t going to push the MC. But that I would never go through this again. I stayed in IC with the counselor who was “on my side.” And I stayed sober.

So 3 years later, when I found the email to OW that was written on our anniversary, I didn’t waver. I confronted him and we started IHS immediately. He moved out a few weeks later. After 6 months he literally begged me on his knees to come home. I laid down some requirements. MC, passwords, and the whole truth. We had a conversation that I thought was the whole truth and it was awful. I thought we’d be able to move forward and heal. But something just wasn’t right. He still looked haunted all the time. He did bizarre things like walking off one evening and calling me hours later after walking 10 miles.

False R lasted about 2 months. And when it blew up it was spectacular. He came to my job, dropped a suicide note on my desk and walked out. I chased him down and we went to our scheduled MC appointment. I basically manipulated him into making the threat again in front of the MC, which bought him a week’s stay at the psych hospital. That’s when I found SI.

At that point I was done. All I wanted was for him to let me go. I needed to stop hurting and all he did was hurt me.

And then the craziest thing happened. I didn’t see him at all for a couple of months. Then he showed up one morning at my church. Which he had previously avoided at almost any cost. We had a worship team that had toured for 4 months that I was a part of. He had also refused to attend any of those services. But there he was. He looked like he’d rather be anywhere but there. At the end of the service he came forward during the invitation. And he has never turned back. He became a totally new man. Funny and true story. He actually said that to me one day. “It’s like I am a completely new person!” I said that was good because the old one SUCKED.

I didn’t let him move back in immediately. I required some things. NC. Transparency. IC. All the SI stuff. I also needed him to stop drinking, but I didn’t want to demand it. Drunk JM was an absolute jackass. I did not feel safe. I certainly didn’t feel like my sobriety mattered to him. He had previously insisted he didn’t have a problem and wasn’t going to stop. But he did. He did it all.

We renewed our vows 9 years ago today. We had one major hiccup 5 months later when I discovered he’d broken NC. I felt so pathetic when that happened because I’d said it was a deal breaker. But I couldn’t do it. Somehow I knew that we could get past that. We were in MC at that time. Our MC is the husband of my IC and is one of the best people I’ve ever known. The session we had the day I discovered the broken NC was a thing of beauty. He cut JM down so bad I honestly thought I’d see blood. It was harsh but all truth. And it did the job. We haven’t looked back since.

Our marriage is what I used to dream about having. He is a leader in our community, in our church. He is trusted and respected. He puts me first. Always. He takes care of my parents.

This part is a little controversial but it’s who we are. Our M works because we are living it the way God planned it. It was very hard for me to learn to follow. I never really trusted anyone and wasn’t excited to start with him. But through time he demonstrated that he is trustworthy. That he would always put me and our family first. I learned that he can’t lead if I won’t follow. And I can’t follow if he won’t lead. It was scary to take that step of faith and follow him but I’ve never regretted a moment of it. As someone who needed to control everything all the time (which was a complete delusion) it was SUCH a relief to let it go. He is 1st Corinthians chapter 13 personified.

So as I’m lying here in bed, watching him sleep tonight, why am I writing this novel? Because I want to share hope. It is possible for true R to happen. Even with a serial cheater. Even with other problems complicating things. It was hard work, not gonna lie. We stayed in MC for almost 2 years. Also, it is possible for people to change. JM and I both did.

I do have one caveat. And that is that R can only work if both partners are committed to the process. So please be real with yourself. Require all of the suggested actions. No contact. Transparency. IC. Do not settle for anything less. Don’t spoon feed your WS either. They were smart enough to figure out how to have an A, they should certainly be able to figure out how to fix the damage without it being handed to them.

7 comments posted: Monday, December 14th, 2020

Gratitude

Today I'm grateful for several nice things that have happened for my disabled ds who is 29 years old. He has support services from Department of Disabilities and Special Needs, one of which is a job coach. He had a job at a really nice grocery store for a little over a year. He loved it and they loved him. The store is close to my job, and since he can't drive I would drop him off on my way to work. I'd pick him up in the afternoon and he'd hang out at my job until I was through. He enjoyed sitting with the residents and talking with them.

Then COVID. His epilepsy makes him high risk so he stayed out at first for a couple of months. Once they had safety measures in place he could have gone back to work but he can't come inside the building where I work. We live 30 minutes away with no traffic, so there was just no way for him to get back and forth.

So he's been stuck at home since March. He was bored and lonely and it was just another thing COVID was taking from us.

Well, his job coach and his DDSN case worker found the most perfect situation for him. They operate a thrift store and coffee shop, and there is a man who lives next to the property who keeps bees. DS has gone and spent several days with the beekeeper, learning how to manage the bees and harvest the honey. They invested in his little business, helped him develop a logo and labels and they are selling the honey at the coffee shop. He got his first check this week. He wrote out his story-- being diagnosed with epilepsy in 2nd grade, being called "retarded" by his pediatrician a year later,and how that has driven him to want to succeed.

A local TV news reporter did a story this evening about the coffee shop and featured an interview with my DS. He is so happy. He's getting out 2 or 3 days a week, spending time with people other than JM and me, and has something that is HIS. Something he is working for. The smile on his face when he showed me his check... Lit up the whole house.

The other nice thing was that he got a Facebook request and message from his high school girlfriend. He hadn't heard from her in quite some time. She moved several states away the summer he graduated and he hasn't dated anyone else since then. This girl was precious--quirky and cute and just fit with him. She reached out to let him know she is moving back to SC by New Years. I know a whole lot has happened in 10 years and nothing may ever come of this. But again, it was precious to see him smile as he was telling me about hearing from her.

What are you grateful for today?

[This message edited by HFSSC at 8:58 AM, December 12th (Saturday)]

7 comments posted: Friday, December 11th, 2020

Troll season

Well, they are climbing out from under their bridges and showing up everywhere, aren’t they?

16 comments posted: Thursday, November 5th, 2020

Something nice

I just needed to share some positive here. 😊

This year, obviously, has been crazy tough. For everybody.

Money is really tight right now. DS in college. I missed a total of 8 weeks of work because of this damnable virus. JM’s business is doing okay but is entirely dependent on customers buying his furniture.

So... today. JM is working on a project for my job that will bring in a nice paycheck. He needed a piece of wood to finish it and we literally didn’t have the money in our bank account to buy a $48 piece of wood. He was typing a text to send me so I could let my boss know he wouldn’t be able to finish it until after payday next week. And he heard a car door shut. He walked out of his shop and there was a couple walking toward him. They asked him if he was the “man who makes picnic tables” and he said yes. Then they asked if he had one available and we had one in the storage building at my FIL’s house. So they bought the table! And JM bought the wood he needed.

Next... DS21 called me from school. He’s in a military college on the coast, about 2 hours away. He called me this afternoon with a headache. He was almost in tears. He didn’t even have any Tylenol and didn’t want to go to the infirmary. At that moment we had an overhead page that we had a heath department inspector show up for an “unannounced visit”. My mama heart was just... ugh.

We have a Facebook group for moms of cadets at this college. I threw out a plea: “Anyone local that could bring my son some Goody Powders and a Coke?” And within 30 minutes, I had a mom visit my son and bring him what he needed. Total stranger to both of us. But a mama who knew what I was feeling.

His headache is better. No fever or any other symptoms.

And I feel so blessed. There’s a song playing on Christian radio right now that I love. The chorus goes “Though the mountains may be moved into the sea, though the ground beneath might crumble and give way, I can hear my Father singing over me “It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay.”

17 comments posted: Tuesday, October 20th, 2020

Reconciliation. Restoration. Not a myth or a lie I’ve made up

I’ve read several posts lately that have made me sad. Some that have made me a little angry. On reading these posts I’ve had an immediate urge to respond. I’ve actually typed a bunch of words and then erased. Because I understand that these posters are in a place of pain, and they are writing about their reality.

It stings a bit when I read someone’s opinion that R is, indeed not impossible at least extremely unlikely. But I understand that. Statistics and numbers can seem overwhelming. But what really cuts and gets under my skin is when they go on to opine that the BSs in R are living in abuse, living in pain, lying to themselves and everyone else. That our Ms are always going to be “less than.” BS will always sleep with one eye open and never trust fully.

Our story is ours. And we don’t lie anymore. Not to ourselves, not to each other. And not to the people around us. That’s who we strive to be. We’re not perfect but make amends when we fail each other or someone else.

We spent 14 years hurting each other. Lying about different stuff. We hurt each other and we hurt our children. He had multiple As. I had an addiction to opioids that almost landed me in prison and should have killed me. I got sober in the 12th year of our M. And the 15th year was when we fell apart, tried to put it back together (false R) and then blew it up completely. We S for real and I continued in my IC as I saw myself healing alone. JM stayed in IC and I was glad because I wanted him to be functional for our sons. What I didn’t imagine was that he would do the work of tearing himself down to the ground and building on a new foundation. That foundation was a faith that was the most important thing in my life. He pursued me as a man who had placed his faith in the same God I follow. And he showed me over and over that his transformation was like at the molecular level.

And so I entrusted my heart to him again. We renewed our vows on our 15th anniversary. We both continued with IC and restarted MC as well. We learned ways of communicating that are healthy and productive. We became members of a Christian ministry that challenges us, rewards us and brings us closer together. He cherishes me and lets me know in every language. He maintains my car so I’m always safe and have enough gas. He leaves me cards or love notes. One of my favorites is when he makes me lunch and writes a note on the napkin he folds and puts in my lunch box. Sometimes, out of the blue, he will repeat an amazing act of service/physical touch that he surprised me with early in our R. I came home from work and he asked me to close my eyes. He guided me to our room and to a chair he’d set up. Kept my eyes closed. Then he gently took off my shoes and socks, and placed my feet in a basin of very warm, soapy water with rose petals.

He washed my feet. Tenderly. And he talked to me, telling me how much he loved me, how grateful he was to have the chance to be with me, how sorry he was for hurting me so many times. He wept and his tears fell on my feet. Those of you who share the same faith or have read the Bible may understand how deeply this affected me. I was reminded of two of the most powerful images in the gospels— Jesus washing His disciples’ feet and Mary Magdalene washing Jesus’ feet with her own tears and her own hair.

I trust this man with no reservation. He is the spiritual leader in our home. I am safe with him. My heart is safe with him. We struggle, with health and with finances. But we are happy. We are blessed and contented.

I know that this could not have happened if he had not been remorseful and had not been willing to do the work that he did. And I also want to make it clear that I know some Ms cannot be R’ed and indeed should not be.

But our story is true. It’s real. And it is absolutely possible. Even in a serial cheating situation. With drug abuse and alcohol abuse and years of dishonesty. It’s still possible.

16 comments posted: Saturday, October 10th, 2020

A new game--More realistic versions of songs

I need to be silly for a bit.

I was thinking the other day about the old children's songs I used to sing to/with my boys. "Wheels on the Bus" and so forth. This one especially stuck out to me:

There were 9 in the bed and the little one said,"roll over! Roll over!" So they all rolled over and one fell out.

There were 8 in the bed and the little one...

It repeated until it got down to "There was one in the bed and the little one said, "Good night!"

Don't y'all think a more realistic version would be,"There were nine in the bed and the little one said, "Roll over, roll over!" So they all rolled over and beat the shit out him and told him to shut up so they could sleep. The end."????

So, lay some more on me. Alternative (better) lyrics that make more sense than the original song.

0 comment posted: Tuesday, January 9th, 2018

Stacked threads in OT

This made me literally LOL.

Celebrating 8 Years of Sobriety

Happy Four-Twenty

Pharmaceuticals and mood/demeanor

1 comment posted: Tuesday, May 2nd, 2017

My alligator mouth

My daddy used to tell me that one day my alligator mouth would get my hummingbird butt in trouble.

Well, I do not have anything close to a hummingbird butt these days, but my alligator mouth is still causing me problems.

I work for a nursing home/rehab center that is part of a corporation with over 100 facilities in the Southeast, Northeast and Midwest areas. Our mandatory training is contracted to a web based company and we're supposed to do 2-3 training modules each month to satisfy the annual training requirements from Medicare and the state health departments. I despise these modules. The previous company that we used had slide shows that would allow you to read at your own pace and advance the slides. The current system requires you to wait..for..the..speaker..who..sounds..like..they..are..speaking..to..kindergarteners before you can advance the slide. So something that I can read and comprehend in 0.2 seconds requires me to sit for 3 minutes while the speaker carefully enunciates each word on the page.

It makes me stabby.

Then we have the interactive training sessions which require us to do fun stuff like "click the cell phone to make a phone call" and "click the mop to clean up the chemical spill."

So I've started being VERY honest in my evaluations. In one of them I wrote that I'm a college graduate with almost 30 years experience in health care and I do not appreciate being forced to play "Dora The Explorer" to demonstrate my knowledge of chemical exposure control measures.

Well, now they've upped the ante. In addition to the stupid training sessions, we're now barraged with "brain spark" emails to stimulate further thinking and help us retain the knowledge. I sent an email to the company asking if there was a way to opt out of those emails. I may have written something to the effect of it was bad enough to have to sit through Blues Clues or Dora the Explorer training, but completely unacceptable for them to harass me with emails afterward.

That was last weekend.

Today, I was approached in the hall by my regional nurse. She's 2 managers up the chain of command. She told me that my email had ended up with the freaking vice president of the whole company over nursing and clinical services. And that the VP would appreciate if I wouldn't send any more emails like that.

Well hell, all I can say is at least when I screw up, I go ahead and swing for the bleachers. Go big or go home!

15 comments posted: Friday, January 13th, 2017

Choosing colors

We are in the process of moving my parents into a modular home next door to us. There were no options for the interior, which was fine. Neutral colors and very nice floor and wall coverings. Today was the last of the paperwork and stuff to order the home. Our salesman informed me that we can choose from different colors for the exterior-- siding and shutters.

I asked if he could send me something with the available options so we could decide. He sent me a brochure.

In BLACK AND WHITE.

After I got done laughing, I sent him a reply. "Thank you so much for your quick response. Do you, by chance, have any pictures that are in color? It's really hard to decide based on the names."

He replied, "Oh, crap! I didn't realize it scanned in black and white!"

He sent me a color picture and said "That was really nice--'Here's a black and white picture for you to pick your colors'"

8 comments posted: Monday, January 9th, 2017

Hfssc and her new bathing suit. T M I alert

Oh lawd.

First of all, before anyone says anything... yes! I know it was gross but it was an emergency. And I've learned my lesson quite painfully.

Okay. That's out of the way.

JM took me away for our anniversary. A surprise trip to our favorite beach. But because he did not (would not) tell me where we were going, I didn't pack my swimsuit. Our hotel had indoor heated pools and a hot tub so we went shopping. You may not know this, but it's the off season at East Coast beaches right now, so let's just say there were not many available options for me. In fact, there was exactly one fat girl swimsuit to be found, so we paid $64.99 for that sucker.

I would ordinarily not wear a swimsuit without washing it first. But we only had one night. So I decided to wear it.

Boy, was that ever a bad decision.

You know that crotch-protector thing they put in there? Well, it was put there with some sort of bizarre, industrial grade adhesive. The plastic came right off. But the freaking glue stayed. I didn't realize it until I took a step and yanked a bunch of hairs out.

I tried to pull the suit off but it just spread that shit around. My butt cheeks were stuck together. My lady bits were folded over and glued shut. I got a wash cloth soaped up and was scrubbing my nethers and screaming while JM offered a weak, "Honey, Are you okay in there?"

It was like the world's worst Brazilian wax job.

All I could think was, at least with everything glued shut, it'll be like I'm a virgin again.

Never again.

[This message edited by HFSSC at 8:37 PM, December 15th (Thursday)]

25 comments posted: Thursday, December 15th, 2016

I wasted way too much time on this

I don't know when this happened. I'm probably the only moron in the country who is just finding this out.

But my iPhone does all sorts of cool things when people text certain words. My sister sent me "congratulations" last night about my son's college acceptance. And confetti covered my screen. "Happy Birthday" sends up balloons. I don't know what else happens.

What other fun features do y'all know about?

6 comments posted: Tuesday, November 8th, 2016

Laughing at myself

Well, I can laugh at myself. So I'm gonna put this up here so y'all can laugh at me too.

JM took me out to dinner the other night. To a FANCY restaurant. With real silverware and plates and stuff.

I got prime rib. And got a piece of meat stuck between 2 teeth. I tried everything to loosen it. We had some shopping to do and it was driving me crazy.

So I got resourceful. I am a redneck and I'm not above MacGyvering a solution.

I have very long hair that is very tough to break. So I had the brilliant idea to use a strand of hair as dental floss.

DON'T JUDGE!! You don't know my pain.

Well, my unbreakable hair broke off. Great. Now I had a piece of meat and a hair stuck in my teeth.

We kept driving. I noticed a couple of finger nails that were getting a little long. WHAT?? Don't tell me you've never bitten off a nail and used it for a toothpick in an emergency.

What? Oh, it's just me? Well, don't try that because the fingernail broke off and then I had a piece of meat, a hair and a fingernail stuck between my teeth.

So I demanded a trip to anywhere that sells dental floss. Well, real dental floss. We went to CVS and you know what my sweet husband asked me? If I wanted some caramel corn.

Yeah. Cuz what I really need right now is to add a popcorn kernel to this friggin' Dental Jenga game I have going on in my mouth.

5 comments posted: Monday, October 17th, 2016

e.a.b.o.d.

I came across that term here a while back. It took me days to be able to even say it without uncontrollable giggles.

If you've never seen it before, it means "Eat a bag of dicks"

Oh Lawd, I laughed so hard at that.

Imagine my reaction when I looked in the fridge and saw this:

[This message edited by HFSSC at 9:31 PM, September 14th (Wednesday)]

2 comments posted: Wednesday, September 14th, 2016

I am so juvenile!!!

I was walking through a patient's room today and caught a glance of our weekly menu package on the bed. We offer menus that the patients can select from for the next week's meals.

The packet was lying on the bed such that the patient would be reading it, so it was upside down for me.

Here is what the cover looks like:

It has a nice little clip art of a chef hat. How sweet.

Only THIS is what I saw:

That was CLEARLY not thought out well. I can't decide if I'm going to tell the dietary manager or just let it ride.

4 comments posted: Saturday, August 6th, 2016

Cuteness to help you get over dragn's stupid tarantula thread

For those of us who are simultaneously shuddering, puking, and sucking our thumbs, here are some adorable pictures of our goats.

This is Beyonce' at approximately one week old, being bottle fed by ds17.

This is baby Biscuit a couple of hours after she was born.

Our four silly girls on the playground JM made for them.

And our newest baby, who will be joining us as soon as s/he is weaned.

You're all welcome.

[This message edited by HFSSC at 11:07 PM, July 20th (Wednesday)]

15 comments posted: Wednesday, July 20th, 2016

Stacked forums O M G

Just looked at the forums list and from OT to Book Club, the last topic posted reads:

A laser for your hoo-ha

Anyone need my help?

Radical Self Love

I am dying!

5 comments posted: Thursday, June 23rd, 2016

Great moments in texting

So I was texting with DS17 a little while ago and meant to send a smile emoji. Unfortunately, it was right next to another emoji. Needless to say, DS did not really appreciate it.

1 comment posted: Thursday, June 2nd, 2016

Out of the mouths of babes

Oh Lord, I've been laughing about this since last night.

Yesterday during children's church, the teacher was talking about the creation story. Every day, after God finished His work for the day, He said, "It is good." After He created man and woman, He said, "It is very good." As they were coloring pages, the children were talking about all the things they are thankful for God making. One of the little girls, who is about 5, said, "God made my bladder?" The teacher said yes. Then she said, with great joy, "and He made my private parts!!!!"

At this, the teacher was trying to hold it together. That's when the pastor's son, also about 5, said, "And it was GOOD!"

7 comments posted: Monday, April 18th, 2016

I can laugh now

Sort of a T/J from the "hardest I ever laughed" thread.

Stories that weren't funny at the time but crack you up now.

I'll start.

One evening a few years ago I had to stop for groceries after work. I was driving JM's truck for some reason. When I came out, it was POURING rain. I had like 6 bags of groceries. So I planned my move. I was going to hold all the bag handles in my left hand, open the door with my right and then swoop the groceries in with one smooth motion.

Well, I got the door open, so that part of the plan was A-okay. Where it went wrong was when I realized I had the wrong truck. And the owner of this truck was sitting in the driver's seat talking on his cell phone. I was about to jump on his lap.

I laugh about it now.

15 comments posted: Friday, February 19th, 2016

I feel so sorry for all of you

I've had the BEST day EVER!!!!

When I share the awesomeness of my day with you, you will all just wilt into tears of envy. Here are some tissues for you all.

First of all, we had a FIRE DRILL today at work. Those are SO much fun. Old people in nursing homes just love it when lights start flashing and klaxxon alarms sound at 900 decibels. Everybody was just... really irritable after that. A little while later, I had to pee. So I went in our one freaking bathroom that we have on our side of the building. There was a half-roll of toilet paper sitting on top of the dispenser. Thought I'd be a good citizen and use it. Well, I bobbled it as I was grabbing it, and managed to just barely grab the end piece. So it proceeded to roll out and then roll all over the bathroom. I was not really in a position to be able to stand up and try to grab the roll, so I thought MAYBE I could gently pull it towards me.

Yeah, not so much. Damn thing just continued to roll all over the room like a deranged pinball game. I ultimately just wiped and then grabbed the whole thing off the floor and slung it into the trash.

Then, came the CROWNING experience of my glorious day. My dear, darling husband, who is the light of my life and all that crap... decided to schedule a visit from some energy conservation consultant. To talk about solar energy.

Now, please understand. If this is how you make your living, I do not intend any offense. We all have our callings and have to pay the bills. But this guy caught me after a long day, before I'd even had supper or even a chance to take of my damn pantyhose. And he had a whole presentation with videos and powerpoints and all sorts of little graphics to explain the intricacies of solar power to me. I wanted to scream at him that I have an IQ over 150 and understood every single thing he said as soon as he said it. I did not require cartoon images and little invisible hands writing out the points in COMIC SANS font. I did not need his condescending, "It makes sense, right??" After every single point he made. (Picture David Spade in Tommy Boy here. That's what this guy sounded like) After an hour of education, he then took JM up in the attic to show us how horrible our insulation is and how it's a miracle we haven't all either died of heat/cold exposure or starved to death from paying our outrageous power bills.

At one point I told him that I was hungry and tired and could not process his questions. He told me to feel free to eat my supper and come back to the table. I told him an amusing story about how we were at the beach one time and some guy tried to get me to listen to his time share presentation. I told him I didn't have time because I'd just gotten out of prison for killing the last guy who tried to sell me something.

He laughed, I guess in an attempt to appease me and keep me from turning violent. I very kindly did not point out the misspellings and grammatical errors that I had noted in his presentation.

JM finally banished me to the bathtub. Not sure if that was a punishment or a reward, but I'll take it.

So, all of you peasants that didn't have a day as awesome as mine, go to bed. There's always tomorrow.

[This message edited by HFSSC at 9:37 PM, January 26th (Tuesday)]

17 comments posted: Tuesday, January 26th, 2016

Fragrance Commercials

I posted this on fb a couple of days ago but thought we could have fun with it here, too.

I don't understand fragrance commercials. Who sits around, sniffing perfume and then saying, "Oh yes! This smells like Charlize Theron climbing up a long rope of brown silk and onto a rooftop. Everyone will want to smell like that!"???

Last night there were a couple of malnourished models rolling around on a beach together. I'm pretty sure I don't want to smell like THAT, either.

Discuss.

16 comments posted: Wednesday, December 23rd, 2015

There! I fixed it. Christmas tree edition

It's been a tough year. JM and I have had 3 surgeries, one major accident and a heart scare between us in the last 8 months. We have family drama and issues on both sides. I had surgery on my hand last Friday and he had surgery on his shoulder this past Friday.

To say we haven't had any Christmas spirit is putting it VERY mildly. We decided we weren't going to get a Christmas tree this year. We've always gotten real trees and I have always loved decorating our house, but I just don't feel it this year. When my MIL found out we weren't getting a tree, she freaked out and insisted we HAD to have one. So she brought me one in a box today.

Here it is:

Hope she's happy.

7 comments posted: Sunday, December 13th, 2015

Why I love living in the country

You just never know what you're going to see.

We live on the other side of a crossroads from a large farm/animal sanctuary. The owners are vegans. They take in farm animals that have been abandoned or mistreated. The animals are well fed and cared for. As vegans, they are obviously not big fans of hunting, etc. They also don't build very good fences. On July 3rd, one of their small pigs (they have about 50) got out, walked to our yard and then just gave out. She laid on the ground and refused to move. JM had to put the pig in his truck and drive her home.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, one of their very large (600+ lbs) hogs got loose and tore up another neighbor's yard. So that guy, 85 year old man, shot the hog and killed it.. He called my FIL and asked him to get the hog into his truck and take it to be butchered. FIL just got there when the owner showed up. She refused to allow them to take the pig and instead dragged it home with her tractor and buried it. Funeral and all.

But the best damn thing I've seen was Sunday afternoon. I was going to choir practice and when I turned on the dirt road just around the corner from our house, I encountered 30 or 40 people on horses coming toward me. Then I realize on horse did not have a rider, seemed quite agitated and was running directly toward me. It was just so freaking bizarre. The road was torn all to Hell. I called 911. "911, what is your emergency?"

I said, "I'm not sure if it qualifies as an emergency, but I am pretty pissed off right now." I went on to tell her what was going on and asked if that was against the law. She was silent for a few seconds and said, "Um, Ma'am, I gotta tell you I really don't know. But it sure oughtta be."

Edited because my Kindle is just an idiot.

[This message edited by HFSSC at 5:36 AM, September 10th (Thursday)]

19 comments posted: Wednesday, September 9th, 2015

So this just happened

(Poof)

we just had the most delightful lunch with Aubrie and her kids! JM, ds16 and I are in the area on vacation and we were able to meet up for lunch. JM and the kiddos were camera-shy so Aubrie and I went crazy with the selfies. I'm sure she will be here later to post the ones on her phone.

It was such a treat to finally get to meet another one of my SI friends face to face, after spending a couple of years getting to know each other online. If you ever get the chance to go to a G2G or just meet up one on one, go for it. It's another blessing that comes along with the dubious honor of

Membership in this club.

[This message edited by HFSSC at 1:58 PM, August 20th (Thursday)]

13 comments posted: Thursday, July 9th, 2015

Let's rename the V

Seems to be a quorum, if not a consensus that vagina is an awful word for, let's face it, an awesome body part. It brings pleasure, it cleans itself, it brings new life into the world, and in the (possibly misattributed but still damned funny) words of Betty White, "Those things can take a pounding."

So, let's come up with a new word or phrase. Or let's see how many awesome words we can come up with (pun intended)

Vulvalicious??

Go!!!

[This message edited by HFSSC at 7:43 PM, December 31st (Wednesday)]

31 comments posted: Wednesday, December 31st, 2014

Well, since my "private donation" didnt work out...

I have a new idea that is guaranteed to make me rich.

A clothing line designed for menopausal women. I'm gonna call it Red Hot Mamas. I'm thinking little vents down the sides. Sleeves that attach with Velcro to allow the wearer to remove them during hot flashes. Then they could reattach them when the inevitable rebound cold flash occurs. Maybe also a v-shaped piece that Velcro's to the neckline and could be removed and reattached as needed.

Oh,oh, oh!!!! I just thought of another feature. Concealed pockets which could hold chemical cold packs.

Now I just have to find someone to help me make prototypes and market them.

9 comments posted: Wednesday, December 3rd, 2014

I'm rich!!!! See you chumps later!!

Well, I don't like to brag, but I just received this email:

Private donation to you,write back for more information's

I have replied but haven't received my "information's" yet. Probably tomorrow. I'll be thinking of y'all when I'm sitting on my own tropical island.

39 comments posted: Monday, November 10th, 2014

Oh dear Lord, I weep for the future

I work with a lot of younger nurses. But, damn, we are in the South. I just read this, written by one of our nurses:

"Patient picked turn-up greens and said she possibly fell."

TURN-UP GREENS????????????? WTF???

Are there really people who have never heard of turnips??

4 comments posted: Thursday, October 30th, 2014

Ad on a for sale/free/wanted site

For sale! Need gone before tomorrow afternoon. Car is ugly at best. Nasty interior broken bumpers. Previous owner must of had 3 dogs and 7 children in the car at all times cause there's hair all over the seats and roof of the car. Basically the car is good for getting places and gets 30+ mpg on the interstate. I'm selling it to help pay for my mustang.

This just cracked me up this morning.

2 comments posted: Thursday, October 30th, 2014

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