SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 2:44 PM on Friday, April 5th, 2024
Love to you. It's a strange and humbling experience to help someone pass. I think you should do whatever your heart is telling you in the moment.
Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.
Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.
Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 4:28 PM on Friday, April 5th, 2024
I haven't been here in ages. SOMETHING told me to check on you, specifically.
I'm here too, along with all the other people to whom you've offered love, support and friendship. May Spirit support you in this difficult time and may you find yourself embraced in the LIGHT...
Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.
number4 ( member #62204) posted at 4:32 PM on Friday, April 5th, 2024
I just don’t know how to know one way or the other
This can only be your call since you're his family, but this would be a great opportunity to talk with the hospice team, either the social worker, chaplain, or nurse. They do this every day and can answer any questions you have or offer suggestions on how to make your decision.
I hope you find some peace.
Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:01 PM on Friday, April 5th, 2024
Do what feels right. I was with my mom and my MIL when they passed and there is a tragic beauty and absolute privilege to be there as they pass. I was not there when my dad passed, and that was okay, too. So either way it will be okay. Do what feels right balanced with making sure you take care of your UTI and yourself. Sending big hugs.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 1:42 AM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024
It’s hard for me to know which to do. He sent me to make him a sandwich the other day, and when I got back 1 minute later, he had transitioned to unresponsiveness. I felt that was a choice. To get me out of the room.
On the other hand, in the last couple of weeks, after I was with him, getting him set with meds, water, turning him, etc….I started to leave. I told him I would be back to check on him, and he said, "Why don’t you get in bed with me". So of course I did.
Sooooooo….i don’t know how to know.
What I have been doing is to go in and out alternatively. That way I hope he will have either opportunity to take advantage of either option.
Last visit from the hospice nurse this afternoon his BP was 50/0.
"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 2:26 AM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 2:43 AM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024
(((WhatsRight))) Praying for your peace tonight.
SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 3:22 AM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024
Sending wishes for peace. ❤️
Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.
Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 3:45 AM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024
((Hugs))
Do what feels right for you. You can call Hospice any time and ask questions. My mom was in hospice and the nurses were so helpful and understanding.
Wishing you peace.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 10:24 AM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024
Prayers being offered on the night shift, for WR and family.
BraveSirRobin ( member #69242) posted at 12:08 PM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024
HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 12:38 PM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024
But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..
annb ( member #22386) posted at 12:54 PM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024
little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 2:50 PM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024
❤️ Thinking of you and praying for you and your family.
Failure is success if we learn from it.
zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 4:51 PM on Saturday, April 6th, 2024
Sending you thoughts and prayers.
"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."
D-day April 2010
WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 12:32 AM on Monday, April 8th, 2024
Sorry to go m.i.a.
My husband passed away yesterday afternoon.
I have been trying to help my boys through this. The ones at the jail went from thinking everything was ok, to him going to the hospital, to being admitted to hospice, to his death in around a week.
I am now trying to secure a furlough for them so they can go to the service.
My sister has been staying with me…and 1 of our sons.
Thanks for all the supportive thoughts and prayers.
I will try to keep you posted.
"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
OwningItNow ( member #52288) posted at 12:43 AM on Monday, April 8th, 2024
So very sorry, WhatsRight. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your boys. I wish I knew the right thing to say during such a difficult time, but not sure such a thing exists. Just remember that your SI family is always here for you.
(((((WhatsRight)))))
me: BS/WS h: WS/BS
Reject the rejector. Do not reject yourself.
zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 12:47 AM on Monday, April 8th, 2024
"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."
D-day April 2010
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 1:00 AM on Monday, April 8th, 2024
My thoughts and prayers for you and of all of your loved ones. Sending you my deepest condolences. (((Hugs)))
[This message edited by BearlyBreathing at 1:00 AM, Monday, April 8th]
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 1:02 AM on Monday, April 8th, 2024
Oh, my sweet, sweet sister. I am so sorry for your unimaginable loss. Continuing to keep you in my prayers.
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
