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Spoiler alert: I’ll be talking about lady bits and girlie doctor stuff so, menfolks beware. You’ve been warned.

So. My mom hasn’t been to a gyno since the doc I worked for retired around 2000. She just went to her PCP. As I’ve share here before she has bipolar disorder and is also just… f*cking weird. She’s obsessed with her hooha. But wouldn’t go to to the expert. She just buys stuff like Vagisil and A&D ointment by the case. Last week after she told my sister she had tried putting aloe gel on it ("That sure burned! I won’t do that again.") I called and made an appointment for her.

Now I have to explain that when I was working for my doctor we had a patient in her 80s with dementia whose daughter would bring her in for routine exams and I swore I would never make my mother go to a gyno in her 80s. But I was starting to worry she’d try putting baking soda and vinegar in the thing and making a volcano out of it.

As it happened, my doctor’s son joined the practice around the time I left and I made the appointment with him. So we were familiar with each other. After we explained the symptoms and what I thought the problem might be, he asked me if I had looked at it.

Yeah, that’s a hard pass from me. I said that’s what he gets the big money for. Then, the best moment of the day. He asks my mom what kind of soap she uses. Are y’all ready for this?????

She said………. "Dawn."

He looked at me with confusion and I just shrugged to say "I got nothing."

He bravely ventured on. "Um, you mean like Dawn dish soap?"

"Oh yes! I use it on my hair, everywhere."
🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I have now supplied her with appropriate soap.

But I was starting to worry she’d try putting baking soda and vinegar in the thing and making a volcano out of it.

OMGGGGGG I almost choked on my lunch Add purple and green and orange food coloring into the mix and you could have a Hoohaween decoration

And at least her bits are grease free and have contributed to saving wildlife... OMG HFSSC, thank you - I truly needed that laugh today!

Omg LOL my face when you said dawn dish soap. Literally covered my eyes like nooooooo!

I did wonder what prompted him to ask that question after looking and asking if you’ve looked (lol to your answer on that). I imagine a yeast infection on steroids! Don’t know if anyone has seen Big Mouth on Netflix but Beatrice immediately came to mind. LOL.

Glad you took her to get checked!

Also to the volcano 😂😂😂😂😂

[This message edited by maise at 7:57 PM, Thursday, October 26th]

OMG!!! A Hoohaween decoration.

Was it blue Dawn or Dawn powerwash?

OMG. This is the best thread ever!!!!

Thanks for sharing HFSSC!!!

Oh wow.... no wonder it hurts. Lol.
The vagicano image about did me in. Lol

You are a very good daughter ❤

Sending empathy for this sort of situation.
You are a good person to try to help her.

Thank you…thank you…..thank you.
That was my first genuine guffaw in a couple of weeks.
OMG, Powerwash!!!

I can’t stop laughing. And the comments.
This is GOLD.

Wait........ wasn't your mother a nurse? Or was that your father? That would add a whole 'nother dimension to this story.

First, I’m glad your mom is ok.
Second, the volcano line about have me on the ground in tears laughing. I can’t even. I now have a mental image I never would have dreamed of.

Ellie- Hoohaween🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Maise- I do remember his dad would always ask about the soap with patients complaining of itching.

Zebra- it was the blue Dawn.

Tush- Vagicano 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Shehawk- Thank you. My sister has been the one taking her to appointments and such since Daddy passed away. She has a lot more patience than I do.

Number4- Yep, my parents were both nurses. She’s always been weird like this.

In honor of my sweet, patient Daddy who passed away 2 years ago yesterday, "I’m so happy to be a source of amusement."

The moment I read the docs soap question the little voice in my head said "oh this is going to be good. Wait for it, wait for it".

Dawn! I knew it was going to be good

At least it wasn't bleach. I knew a lady who bathed in bleach and suffered horrible burns ALL over her body. Yikes!

She said………. "Dawn."

If it is good enough for ducklings covered in oil slicks.....

I actually saw a post on FB asking how many folks use Dawn as a body wash/shampoo and surprisingly, there was a lot. Your mama is not solo in her bubbling preferences.

So hysterical!!!

Just a big howling laugh to your original post, and all of very bright and hysterical responses.

But I have to ask, is she better now? I’m assuming she is using actual bathing soap now?

But On a serious note… I guess this is something that needs to be monitored by someone in her situation.

Until you’ve actually been a caregiver, there is a world of information that you never really thought of, right?

I'm dying!!! Volcano, Hoohaween, Dawn! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂

I went through this with my Mom. She had her own name for lady parts. The doctor would get confused. I would have to explain.