Rolling Stones US tour see them or skip?
I saw them around 40 years ago. So that makes them "aarper" rockers so a friend jokes.
Thinking of getting tickets if possible to a show but curious what other SI ers think about seeing the Stones one last time?
10 comments posted: Friday, December 1st, 2023
It’s been a long time since I did algebra with a cheap calculator help
I have reason to "teach" algebra for graduate accounting where the person is allowed to use just a standard cheap calculator.
It’s been more than half my relatively long life since it did this sort of thing.
Any tips or tricks when dealing with exponents and lots of parenthesis other than drinking wine and reviewing edited to correct my phone thinking it can
3 comments posted: Saturday, November 25th, 2023
Infidelity—The gift that keeps on giving
I am still healing from infidelity even after 5 plus years. And here it goes again with a family member of someone close to me being cheated on and all of the fallout from that. Not only does this bring up a lot
of feelings for me but I am sure for that person who is also survivor of infidelity.
What is wrong with people? The marriage affected is not a long one. Why even marry if you are cheating?
I think venting is allowed in general…hope it is..
13 comments posted: Thursday, October 26th, 2023
Knowing one’s worth
My life now is far and away from my life with WH.
As an example, a friend sent me a new to me (refurbished Amazon prime deal) smartwatch because mine was old and had stopped working.
They knew I needed one because I use it for medical reasons, and they know I am still recovering from WH’s post separation post divorce financial abuse.
In the past I might have been reluctant to accept such a nice gift. This time I warmly thanked the gift giver.
I realized that I had poured myself out to take
care of EXWH and he abused my kindness. This person did this for me because they recognized what I do for them and others.
I don’t know if the physical, emotional,spiritual and financial damage from my marriage to EXWH will ever heal. I fear I will always carry the scars.
But today I paused and breathed in that I am worthy of having my needs met in relationships whether it is affection, gifts, care, or fidelity.
21 comments posted: Tuesday, October 17th, 2023
Holiday in Jamaica any tips?
Montego Bay this year
Has anyone been? Any favorite places to stay ?
A friend is taking me there to meet other family members this holiday.
We will probably fly out of Greensboro NC but we are open to ideas.
7 comments posted: Wednesday, October 11th, 2023
Thoughts pro and con about participating in online domestic violence month social media posts
I respect the viewpoints of other members of the group and thought I would post about this current event and see what people think about posting?
I am considering breaking the silence. I have somewhat of a growing social media presence around rather mundane pictures and videos that apparently tens of thousands of people view.
I think it would be healthy for me to break the silence but I am sure there are some downsides to it.
It’s the hand over the mouth post I am thinking of doing.
Also mods if you think this belongs in a different thread my apologies.
8 comments posted: Monday, October 9th, 2023
Thoughts pro and con about participating in online domestic violence month social media posts (moved to General)
This Topic has been moved to General
0 comment posted: Monday, October 9th, 2023
Redo or avoid
I am curious if any other people struggle with this. I was married to EX (feels amazing to say this) husband for decades so we had a lot of history together. For that reason there are a lot of places and things we did together.
Next week i am going to a place EXWH and I went to many times—including a very painful time right after DD2.
Looking back, EXWH was a horrible gaslighting blameshifting, partner. Serial cheater, liar and generally low on empathy.
A date is planning a lovely time at said location. Date and I have a great deal of honesty between us. (They are not unaware of my history. They are also a BS. )
I have pretty awful CPTSD from EXWH multiple A’s and long-term abusive treatment along with vicarious and actual trauma from my occupation. I am getting help for it.
We talked about whether it’s healthy to deliberately go certain places and make new positive memories or whether to avoid such places. If we did the avoid, we would be avoiding most of the major cities in America…
I wonder what other people have done?
I would love a redo as far as intimacy in these locations too given how EXWH managed to ruin that too. However, that’s not in the cards this trip due to date’s and my religious/spiritual values. (Although it would be an upgrade in that department too!)
8 comments posted: Monday, September 11th, 2023
Well wishes appreciated Nearing the finish line
I am very near the end of the divorce/trial
I appreciate everyone here. You literally saved my life.
Friends saved my life.
I will post more when it is decided finally but for the next few days and well wishes would be very much appreciated. For all concerned.
27 comments posted: Thursday, August 3rd, 2023
Hawks hitting the windows and chasing other birds into the window?
In the mornings a few days I have heard big birds hitting the window. I saw a flash of yellow like an oriole today and then a spotted hawk knocked itself out. It managed to awaken by the time I went to check on it and it flew away.
I am wondering if a family of raptors has replaced the murder (group) of crows that used to terrorize. I do remember a medicine man telling me that crows chase hawk so maybe with them gone the hawks have decided to become the neighborhood bird bullies?
6 comments posted: Tuesday, July 18th, 2023
Sexuality after Infidelity
In less than a month I will be a free woman. Free of infidelity. Free of a more than 3 decades long abusive marriage with multiple d days. Free to engage in consensual relationships again instead of the involuntary celibacy wh inflicted on me while the D languished.
I was for no reason I can think of consumed by a panicked feeling at the thought of being sexually intimate in this almost here future. I had this feeling of all consuming dread and panic in a public place for no known trigger.
It’s been over 5 years since my last D day.
Over 4 years of healing post failed R. And still the ugly hand of Trauma reaches out and smacks me upside the head.
4 comments posted: Friday, July 14th, 2023
Things you know now that you wish you knew then.
I wish I knew the extent of lies he would be willing to tell. The lengths he would be willing to go to.
10 comments posted: Monday, July 10th, 2023
Notifying an AP's husband if you are divorcing moral dilemma
Through a weird twist of fate I came to find out that WH who I am solidly and absolutely as soon as possible D apparently likely dating a married woman.
If this is actually true (as it appears to be) should I just go on as if I don't suspect this is the case. As for him I am fully indifferent what he is doing. I now know his proclivities and would not want him back if he were the literal last man standing.
I am guessing this is something I should do nothing about. She could be in a D for infidelity for all I know or he could be deceased He could have left her or who knows. But I don't see any evidence her husband is deceased or divorcing. For all I know they could be in an open M.
18 comments posted: Tuesday, July 4th, 2023
Reframing things that got me here as a transformative experience
I read something recently where a writer reframed divorce (to include difficult experiences/high conflict situations) as transformative experiences.
Wondering how others have experienced this.
At first reading this may have caused me to clench my jaw so hard as to cause me to grind my teeth. And to think a lot of uncharitable thoughts.
I could have done without the trauma WH inflicted.
Sure I can see a cruise to 8 countries as transformative, but having the person closest to me rip my heart out and act in way that was risked my health and even life...
11 comments posted: Thursday, June 29th, 2023
Caution sort of graphic language But if he was the last man standing
A family friend asked me the question today if I had reconciled with WH by now.
I all but threw up in my mouth at the thoughtand told the person "Not if he was the last man standing.
Now that's progress to me given that can't be ex soon enough WH is an unrepentant, liar. I certainly danced the pick me dance way too long.
And the divorce hearing is scheduled.
2 comments posted: Tuesday, June 27th, 2023
Dealing with the negative effects of A / D on even adult children.
I am wondering (given that many of us have children and adult children) if anyone has suggestions on how to support them when WH is being particularly nasty in the D or post D process.
10 comments posted: Tuesday, June 13th, 2023
Forensic investigator resources
No surprises but the lies continue...
I am finding myself in need of a fully legal internet search or investigator to look for missing property and lifestyle evidence for my D.
I am wondering if these resources are in the paid part of this site? Or if there are suggestions permissible on this group?
0 comment posted: Wednesday, May 31st, 2023
Iris issues...wonder if it's the weather
I started growing flowers and sharing them during the pandemic. I had some I inherited, some that were gifted, and a housemate who was good with a shovel :)
This year I decided to sell some very reasonably to test growing flowers as a potential source of income.
Same housemate dug some for the first sale and we were horrified when we noticed spots on the leaves and a few brown leaves. I started looking around and most everyone's iris have issues this year.
Any iris gardeners in the crowd?
5 comments posted: Sunday, May 14th, 2023
Having a back tooth out tomorrow scary
I am having to have a back tooth out tomorrow and I am really afraid. I was told that they would give me Tylenol mixed with advil for pain.
Any tips or tricks?
I have heard no dairy after.
My extraction is 2pm.
I am having my own blood taken and spun and injected to rebuild bone for an implant.
8 comments posted: Tuesday, April 11th, 2023
Thinking of changing my screen name to something different
I am thinking it's a sign of healing but I am considering changing my screen name to something different...something that has no association to WH
Having a bit of a blank on ideas but wondered if other members experienced a desire to screen name change?
12 comments posted: Saturday, March 25th, 2023
Does the destruction never end?
I am 5 years from dd2 still finding things that WH destroyed, dismantled, disrespected etc
This past couple months I have been dealing with storage and where we had animals/garden
Every tool I pick up it seems he did something to deface or break it. Handles broken, used it in concrete and left it to dry?, bent the rake? Left the tool to rust, ugh
Bought a new battery for the mower thinking it was that. Nope. The transmission is dismantled? Who does that?
The push mower has the guard removed. It looks all beat to #$))
About 10 metal shop clamps I went to use were all in some form of broken.
The people in the scrap metal places just shake their heads. Like who does this sort of damage.
Cast iron pans left to rust.
Trash strewn all over the entrance like someone made a get away with the good stuff. Oh wait. They did and the they was him...
(Checked in on a place we own and found this
All of this while WH tells people what an angel he is.)
That's the tip of the iceberg of his destruction.
Any one else have an amazingly destructive ex??
Is that part of the wayward mindset?
13 comments posted: Friday, March 10th, 2023
Tell me a (hope/karma) story. Prayers, mojo?
Right now wh and his minion attorney lies are really bad.
My mistake I guess has been telling the truth and trying to be a decent human being.
I have been fighting for my freedom for literally years now.
Anyone have stories of hope and karma they are willing to share?
I also welcome prayers, mojo, well wishes, messages..
I am sitting here crying because I am all out of hope..
26 comments posted: Friday, March 3rd, 2023
Deadlifting/benchpress endorphins? Fun?
Curious if anyone has ever deadlifted for fun at the gym.
I have a "free" gym membership and a willing lifting partner so crossed trying a deadlift off of my bucket list
Decided I liked it. Added benchpress in for fun.
Actually feel pretty amazing.
This hands down beats how I have been feeling since that which we don't talk about.
Wondered anyone else's experiences with lifting heavier weights.
13 comments posted: Wednesday, March 1st, 2023
watching the Tony Robbins live?
So I did a thing. I accepted the gift of the vip access to the current Tony Robbins live from a friend and it is truly inspiring.
Not signing up to walk on fire but enjoying the Livestream.
Wondered if anyone else found inspiration in his work?
8 comments posted: Tuesday, January 24th, 2023
Wheels never left the ground for vacay
I had an eventful vacation that began with a lock down roads closed sub artic once in a lifetime storm. Then flight to Vegas being cancelled for no crew, days in the phone to rebook, Water pipes freezing and bursting at a major airport so no water there. Then the door to our rebooked flight not closing so we could not get to our destination....missed it all!
Pivoted and took a localish train trip. Ate some good food. Looked at some apartments in the District, stayed in a lovely place. Even though one person had a family health crisis where they had to take a sudden flight to a completely different region, we still got everyone basically back where they needed to be for work etc.
No vacation. No city views, 5 star accomodations, dazzling shows, wonders of the world tours. All down the drain. Most of the points that were saved and some pooled cash used for this once in a lifetime kinda experience..no telling what we might or might not get refunded if much of anything.
Funny thing tho. Everyone on the trip acted like decent civilized humans. No one did drama. Every one took care of each other and some family and friends pitched in.
Better luck for us next year!
Happy New Year Everyone!
2 comments posted: Sunday, January 1st, 2023
Stuff to do in Vegas
Thinking of heading to Vegas for the holidays. Heard there are amazing parks within an hour of there and it is generally an inexpensive place to travel.
Anyone have any suggestions of fun things to do.
I like nature. Am not a drinker. Enjoy healthier food. Parks? Nature? Maybe a magic show? The warm weather is a big plus there.
11 comments posted: Sunday, November 13th, 2022
Stray Cats. Tigger and Tina
Yesterday I was moving furniture in the yard and guess what? A very sweet bit older than kitten kitty shows up with their shy brother/sister.
From the looks of them they were dumped off in "the country".
Bad news is they now have names. Tina is more friendly than Tigger Thomas.
Remind me of the million reasons I do not need a pet right now ...much less two.
They have litter box, two kinds of $$ food, some toys and a cute little bed.
Tina likes chicken nuggets.
Thomas thinks I am scary and runs from me.
8 comments posted: Saturday, October 29th, 2022
Any recommends for winter holiday vacay not overseas due to travel time
Wondered if anyone has recommends for places that would be fun for holiday time get a way.
Prefer reasonable travel time from Dulles or Chicago and not NYC
17 comments posted: Thursday, October 27th, 2022
Perfume after having Covid
I spent a good part of today shopping in Belgium and as part of that checking out French and amazing South African perfume. I had never experienced this pre my think second bout with Covid at Easter (first was before the official pandemic).
Anyway, my nose found musky scents to smell like what I can only describe as a dirty ferret cage....I did used to work as a biologist and have smelled mink before and met the occasional fairly clean ferret pet after that but this smell thing is ruining a lot of perfumes for me. I also can't seem to cleanse my nose with coffee either.
It's like the smell persists in my head. And this is like 200 euro and up perfume (was going to get a few smallish tester size vials as a treat with a gift card I was given.
Any one else experience this sort of thing?
9 comments posted: Thursday, October 13th, 2022
Motor replacement in a car
if you had a 7 year old car and there was an issue where the motor needed to be replaced (known overheat issue with the brand but not yet a class action or recall)
And given parts shortages
Has anyone ever had a good experience they want to share with a remanufactured motor with a warranty?
3 comments posted: Sunday, September 25th, 2022
Packing/clothing for a week in europe
So I am heading to Europe for a week.
Wondering if anyone has suggestions for appropriate clothing for one week of travel and any suggestions of other things I would want to bring with. Destination is Brussels. Think I will choose to fly economy because the difference is several thousand dollars and/or equivalent air Miles and the plane ticket is a gift. May upgrade with Delta miles depending on the amount needed.
Also wondered if anyone has experience with flying and layover in Dubai?
52 comments posted: Sunday, September 11th, 2022
Anyone have something amazing happen to them that that would never have happened if you hadn't started over
WH refused to leave the country for decades with no known valid legitimate reason. Not afraid of flying. In fact the opposite. I don't rent him the space in my head to question why anymore...but...
Funny thing...Maybe what people call Karma?
I am taking a no cost to me trip to Europe. On his birthday (not intentionally, it just happened that I had a no cost to me ticket and place to stay in that day).
13 comments posted: Wednesday, August 31st, 2022
Any irl meetups planned again?
Wondered if there were any in real life meetups being planned in the Chicago area this fall?
4 comments posted: Tuesday, August 30th, 2022
Doxycycline hcl and dairy
So is it no dairy at all while taking doxycycline?
I got a bug bite or ?? They don't know but my leg was hot and red with a raised area...was sent to the urgent care which is like a stepped down ER that really good doctors work in.
Probably not the best plan but I noticed it at night and waited to call the doctor until the next day. They sent me to the urgent care. My legs were so swollen and so much pain.
Less than 12 hours on the medication and lost 6 lbs of edema.
Not playing with whatever this is so figured I would see what SI peeps (who I have found to be a smart lot) know about dairy and doxy.hcl
4 comments posted: Saturday, August 27th, 2022
Has anyone employed a forensic accountant or pi that is willing to share ?
I am wondering if people might be willing to share their experiences employing a forensic accountant?
What about a private digital investigator during the divorce? For stuff like lifestyle hidden from the court?
Just wondering about cost versus benefit etc
4 comments posted: Wednesday, August 10th, 2022
Dealing with symptoms of covid especially total lack of appetite
So the inevitable happened. I tested flamingly positive for covid.
The state I am in dropped the mask mandate.
I had an important dentist appointment.
I went to church (small congregation and figured C had already made its rounds through there long ago). I got groceries etc. I masked. Was not close to anyone. Hadn't as much as left the house in about 3 weeks.
But as luck would have it I have covid. I have a wicked sore throat. Stuff smells weird. Like my hair conditioner smells aweful
Ordinarily I would be an eat when I am hungry and not when I am not person but....
The thought of almost any food makes me feel like getting sick. Also my throat feels like I swallowed ground glass.
My blood pressure was a little low this morning so I made myself drink some lemon, ginger, honey water with a little salt.
My temp is down from 103 to around 99ish.
Any suggestions for foods (to complicate things I have to eat gluten free)?
Can I eat popsicles or do I need to avoid things like sugar?
Any fluid guidelines?
21 comments posted: Monday, April 25th, 2022
Gotta love this song....what's on your playlist?
Jake Hoot feat Kelly Clarkson
I would have loved you!
It's #1 on my 3 year post listen to in the shower and sing along playlist
Gotta love country music!
And Celo Green clean version (Forget You)
moves down to number 2 on my playlist.
0 comment posted: Thursday, February 24th, 2022
Starting over job wise
So I am well enough from the Lyme to consider part time work again.
I am educated but the effects of the Lyme, infidelity trauma etc mean that I need to be looking for something part time and flexible and remote.
I am feeling lost. I have kept up with technology like with my computer and remote meetings etc, but could use some brushing up in windows programs like excell. I have not "worked" in over a decade and am not yet well enough to go back to anything like I did.
I am also not the person I was before the repeated serial d days...so I honestly have no idea where to start.
30 comments posted: Friday, February 18th, 2022
Engagement rings thoughts?
I am curious about people's ideas about engagement rings.
Would your ideal be a one Ct or more solitaire diamond from Tiffanys? One of their colored stone rings? No engagement ring? Something else?
What do you think of buying vintage or pre-owned?
Also at an older age it occurred to me that the old "rule" of "2 months salary" is a lot more for most people at age upper 50s than it was at age 21.
12 comments posted: Friday, December 17th, 2021
I can not even begin to describe how good it feels to wake up every day free of abuse.
I am a survivor.
I have good friends.
Contrary to what my wh told me, it is simply very far from the truth that no one would ever "want me"...
I am healing from the Lyme disease (less antibodies and fewer positive bands).
My pain and tension levels are lower than I can ever remember them being.
I wake up not feeling drained.
I now think of my wh as so tainted and disgustingly defiled I would not take him back much less be intimate with him if he was the last man on earth. He repulses me. That is a good thing because he is not safe for me at any speed.
I have had a change of mind. I now view very few decisions as one way streets. That is very freeing and should serve me well. For that reason, I deeply regret not leaving and filing for divorce immediately the first time I found out he was lying much less cheating. I had my reasons. But I could have reversed course and stopped the divorce if he had chosen to stop lying, do the work, and become a safe partner.
I am no longer a schmuck.
There are moments of joy and beauty.
I survived infidelity.
11 comments posted: Sunday, December 5th, 2021
In the pit with a lion on a snowy day
I am in the process of reprogramming my mind.
I was given several boxes of books...one of them by this title, which caught my eye.
Wondering if any other divorcing spouses feel/felt like they are/were in the pit with a lion on a snowy day?
Any tips for surviving?
The good news is even if my back is against the wall of the pit, I can now see the 🦁
0 comment posted: Friday, August 13th, 2021
Is this normal
So I am wondering if anyone else has had to deal with breaking down curled up in a ball sobbing while going through the divorce process. It's been a couple of years since I have seen my WS and still I am not free. It doesn't help that I am swimming in debt and see no way that they court will act quickly to set me free.
There are days where I do not think I can get up again to continue to fight him.
Days I wonder how I married a monster. Days I question my own perception of reality..which is why I kept the actual bathroom door he punched in several places leaving big holes just sitting in the garage in case I need to remind myself.
8 comments posted: Thursday, June 24th, 2021
So this month I have not yet received funds and there has not been payment for the mortgage.
Special thanks to attorney number one who apparently submitted a temporary order over a year ago that did not (how this could happen I have no idea) include who pays the mortgage and several other bills.
Not sure I can say this here so mods I will delete if you ask but praying for a miracle.
Did talk with the lender and they have no covid programs and no way to modify without husband's participation.
17 comments posted: Friday, May 7th, 2021
"a reason to fight" the song and more
One of the songs that has helped me is the song "a reason to fight" by Disturbed.
I just wanted to thank the people in this group who have posted, weighed in, and given advice over the past over two years. It has been sould wrenchingly hard. But you have helped me so much. You have given me a reason to fight. You have helped me hang on so many times when I couldn't have without you.
This week is one of my hardest weeks. I have legal stuff I need to deal with. I need to find a car. (wh took both vehicles and put them in his name and physically took them) There is a lot I still am working on surviving.
Thanks for the group and to everyone who reached out.
11 comments posted: Monday, April 19th, 2021
You can. You will.
I am approaching 3 years post d day. Round two that I know of for the chex (cheating ex).
Each day I get stronger. Each day I get better. There are ups and downs. My story is ugly There will always be scars. I do still struggle to not let this take my life.
But I am a survivor. Of horrible abuse. (I believe infidelity is vicious evil soul sucking abuse.)
I lived to tell my story in the hopes that it will in some way help others.
I have excellent friends. I make a difference in people's lives and I don't miss the chex (cheating ex) and his group of cheater cheerleaders one single bit. I have so much more energy and vitality now. My life is so much better with him not in it.
Do not give up. There is hope. There is renewal. You can survive to have purpose and a new life.
3 comments posted: Sunday, April 4th, 2021
Tattoo or no tattoo? Vegas or no?
Leaning a bit on humor to deal with the pain of infidelity tonight....
During this whole long drawn out divorce process I considered getting a tattoo.... A relatively large inner forearm script tattoo that said "integrity".
And I dreamed of a quickie Vegas divorce. The quick Vegas divorce is out. Can't seem to get the non Vegas divorce in a reasonable time either. The court process is just more abuse by proxy. That just leaves the tattoo.
I do joke about eventually heading to Vegas and marrying my new fnb (friend no benefits since I am still legally married to the chex aka the cheating ex). He really is a nice guy. Bet he wonders how he ended up with someone as jaded about relationships as me...
Sooo tattoo or no tattoo? Vegas or no Vegas.
26 comments posted: Sunday, March 21st, 2021
I could really use some perspective. Divorcing a monster is hard. I am really hurting today.
I have a saying now. I can do hard things.
My biggest take a way from divorcing the Chstbex (cheating soon to be ex) is that I should have not given any ground to an unrepentant cheater.
I gave. He took.
The only thing that is certain is that he is lying and manipulating and smearing. Lying that he would divide things in a fair manner. Lying about what a nice guy he is and how unreasonable I am..
Biggest mistake I made is filing without a signed written settlement agreement.
And the people who tell me that I should just let him take whatever and stop fighting.... until it happens to them...
21 comments posted: Wednesday, March 10th, 2021
Two years ago today I walked away
Two years ago today I walked away from an abusive unrepentant cheating husband. I do not for one second regret this today. It was the hardest most heartbreaking thing I have ever done...I caught him back talking with his ap and the affair flying monkeys and cheerleaders and I was DONE.
Despite his best efforts to destroy me, so far I am living my best life ever. I am no longer an anxious gaslit lied to yelled at until he spit on me mess. And it feels great.
Also a big shout out to his aps. Thank you for being with him so I dont have to be!!! You give me the best gift ever. Freedom from any sort of attachment to a man who lied to me for decades and risked my health and life.
Btw if your ws told you the reason they cheated was you...chances are it isn't.
Never settle. Never give up!!
12 comments posted: Tuesday, February 23rd, 2021
Every breath I take..why to walk away
I learned awhile back that to have success I need a why. I am beginning writing a book about why to walk away. My answer is every breath I take.
It's been three years now since I was diagnosed with lyme that was attacking my heart and began to suspect that the stbxch (soon to be ex cheating husband) was an unfaithful history rewriting blame shifting liar whose only true regret was that he got caught before he extracted what he had planned financially before leaving me sick broken and destitute.
His actions and "the groups" he cheated in...his infidelity and lies along with their horrific gaslighting and bullying...almost cost me my life. I can not count the number of times I laid curled up on the floor sobbing thinking of ending my life those first two years. The trauma and the pain was that bad. (This was not the first time he cheated and the circumstances this time were horrifically traumatizing as was the abuse I endured from counselors and others he was recruited to his point of view that he was the victim).
I called the suicide hotline so many times. By some miracle I survived. And as I started to walk out of my life burning down around me from infidelity, I vowed I would return to help others.
So that is my why. Every breath I take free of the abuse of infidelity. Every day away from the evil of lies and deceit. Every day away from the sexual,emotional and spiritual abuse that is infidelity.
The sun is shining on my face. I am on my way to the beach. I wake up every day to kind words. I go to sleep safe. I am in remission at least for today. I am alive.
I survived infidelity.
You can too.
Sending thoughts of peace, healing and joy this holiday season.
11 comments posted: Sunday, December 27th, 2020
Where I am in recovery...Anyone have cool new hobbies
So. It is about 3 years since the last Physical affair I found out about really kicked off (although there were so many massive online and irl boundary violations that who knows, right?).
I have worked really hard to find the woman I was before my abusive marriage (If you haven't read my other posts I believe infidelity/lies constitute severe physical/sexual, emotional and spirital abuse).
Anyway, I have a couple of cool new covid friendly hobbies.
I have begun fixing things like small appliances. I have had mixed success but the whole experience had been fun none the less.
I fixed a robot vac (he just needed a battery replaced properly). I named him sharky and he is vacuuming my room as we speak.
I took apart the cord on a broken pressure washer to replace the plug (gfci plug). I was not able to.fix that because the pump was also bad and it was an inexpensive pressure washer so it is heading to the recycling.
I am working on a dehumidifier today (did a diy diagnosis and ordered a small part and gonna give it a try). Next is replacing a fan on a coleman cooler.
I am also going to shoot my borrowed bow a bit more if it stops raining. I used to shoot a rrecurve but I was loaned/"given" two really really nice older compound bows that the lender adjusted so I could pull them.
And some friends dropped off a new few targets recently.
(I am not saying these hobbies are for everyone..You don't want to start repairing appliances if you don't have the skill set for it for example. But I have friends who do and they help me when needed. So I am not promoting getting in over your head just to be clear :)
Wondering what cool new hobbies everyone has picked up or picked up again?
17 comments posted: Friday, October 23rd, 2020
Hello SI tribe.
I thought I would post to celebrate the fact I am still alive and infidelity free.
I lived to tell my infidelity story and am writing a new story of my life.
I worked really really hard on myself and I am healing.
I regret every minute I stayed with my cheating lying husband after I found out he "loved" some woman other than me. Every minute post me finding out he lied to me.
But you know what? I am forgiving myself for that pretty well too.
I laugh now. I have beautiful things in my life. I am enjoying learning how to better give and receive love.
I take showers most days now (unlike right after the infidelity). And I no longer give one iota about what THE EX or any of his co abusers in the "groups" he participated in on the internet or friends or family or anyone else but me thinks of me or my decision to say "no more".
I tell my story to people, and I am looking into possible opportunities to tell my story publicly because you never know... It might save the next person.
If you are reading this...you can survive infidelity too. I did.
I have a better life than I ever thought possible and my body is healing.
((Hugs)) to all on this journey.
3 comments posted: Sunday, September 13th, 2020
tell your heart to beat again
So there comes a time when most of us want to move on. I know I do.
Some times I feel like the trauma stopped my heart.
Some times, like was talked about in another post, I see monsters where there are none.
I became friends with a man who shows up for me every single day. He shows me he loves me. And he never ever lies to me. He asked me if I would be willing to explore the possibility of a relationship with him. He deserves a beating heart.
I am wondering how other people in SI have navigated this?
17 comments posted: Friday, January 24th, 2020
Can Beauty Come Out of Ashes?
Can beauty come out of ashes?
My resounding answer is "Yes".
Thanks to the people on SI and so many friends who walked into the flames and carried me out of the smoldering wreckage of my life when there was nothing left of me, I survived. I work on myself every single day. And my life is so much better than I ever imagined it could be
I will be spending the holidays with people who love me, care for me, and never ever lie to me. I am so very grateful.
The song "Ashes" by Celine Dion has a special place for me. My world shattered when I found pictures of my can't be ex soon enough cheating husband and one of his AP's on the internet with several of their closest friends at the Deadpool 2 premiere.
So when your world is burning down and you are in pieces, reach out. SI and my friends saved my life and I will forever be grateful.
30 comments posted: Wednesday, December 18th, 2019
new beginnings playlist
New Beginnings Playlist anyone?
My first song is Pink
"Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again
It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again"
33 comments posted: Wednesday, December 4th, 2019