TJG, I am very sorry about this. Truly. Hate to say but I had bad feels about this from your first post. Not because of him, but because of you. You JUST broke up with a dude who treated you like shit for 20 years and have done no real healing work on you yet. You deserve to heal and IMHO you should absolutely take the time and put in the effort to do it. You are worth it.
Hi, my friend who offered to "research" him got back to me right away yesterday and unfortunately it is not good. 😔 Long story short she found out he is in fact still married, and also has quite a long rap sheet of prior convictions for assault and fight-related stuff. She also found some theft related convictions too. She sent me screenshots of everything. I feel so defeated and devastated. I really started to like him a lot! She is urging me to ditch him, naturally. Where do I go from here?
Where do you go? AWAY from this douchecanoe. Far far away. He is a CHEATER. He is a CRIMINAL. Why the actual fuck would this guy still seem in any way appealing to you after those two facts?
The reason I let him in was because he was already there, and I wasn't going to just be rude. I wanted to at least give the politeness and get him to answer my questions.
YOU DO NOT OWE THIS MAN POLITE. He is cheating on his WIFE with YOU. He's a fucker, and we do not owe cheaty fuckers politeness - we in fact owe them whatever rudeness we want. Also as others have said, if you engage with him further you are willingly being an affair partner. That should really not sit well with you.
I don't know if being nasty is the best way to handle this
If he won't take a polite hint to kindly fuck all the way off? Then yes, nasty is perfectly okay.
Well...it looks like he's not going to want anything to do with me anymore anyway, without me doing anything on my end.
Without you being an affair partner? Yeah, bummer for him that you're so mean to not want to be an ap.
It turns out my friend (same one who offered and did the investigating for me) called him today and told him off, making some goofy Star Wars reference while telling K to leave me alone. I've had to hear her ranting all about it to me for most of the afternoon. She's mad because K called her back and threatened her, and in response she got into a yelling argument with him over the phone, and it seems that led to her husband taking the phone and engaging in an all-out yelling match with K on the phone too. She's been ranting all about how she doesn't want K to show up at her house, how she's saving his voice-mail threat to her, etc.
This is a damn good friend you have here.
To clarify, I did not put her up to this or encourage her to contact him. She did this all on her own. Now I hope he doesn't retaliate on me or my property as a result.
Fact is, YOU should have done this for YOURSELF. And if he tries to retaliate, call the police. He's fuckin dangerous girl.
All I wanted was a happy summer, and perhaps a nice summer romance for once, but it seems I couldn't even get that. I feel so defeated.
I am sorry you're feeling defeated. But you defeated you. You won't find happiness and nice summer romances with assholes honey.
Every time they text him some snarky text, he ends up blowing up my phone leaving angry voice-mails or texts about them snarking at him.
Duuuuude WHAT? Mr cheaty McCreeper over there feels like he has any right to act like he's the victim here?? Fecking WHAT?
To clarify, it's not that I feel sorry for him, moreso myself because he keeps blowing up my phone and leaving voice-mails and angry messages on the landline answering machine. It's distracting and interfering with my work and concentration. I haven't answered his calls in hours now because I need to get back to lesson plans.
So BLOCK him. Boom, problem solved.
I don't know what to do at this point, how to respond.
*gets on box with megaphone* *ahem -tap- -tap-* Tell him to FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF. Then block him.
Or you could just send him this then block him
Look TJG, I think you sound like a very kind and gentle and generous woman that any good man would be very lucky to have. But until you heal yourself and take off your victim hat, you will just keep finding the same assholes in different faces. And until you decide that you damn well are worth more than this shit, this is what you will keep on getting.