SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hello, and I hope all of you have had wonderful summers so far. I wanted to give an update because I was on here more frequently earlier in the summer and then wasn't online much at all the last couple of weeks. I am happy to say that I've started dating someone. He is not technically a new guy, but someone who I met and went on a date with a few summers ago. He is local to me lives only about 5 minutes down the road, and I met him a few years ago when I was out for a jog near the park and he happened to be driving by. He stopped to say hi, we got talking, we exchanged numbers, and we went out. Major chemistry for me because he is VERY handsome! I wanted to keep in contact with him because he seemed amazing, but I was unable to do that because when work started a week later, I became so busy and overconsumed (each year the teacher workload seems to grow more and more for me! It never ends until June!). He probably lost interest because I didn't have any free time to see him again. We did chat on the phone a few times after that, but then he fell out of contact. (again, understandably so. If I was a guy, I would think someone like me was disinterested or too busy too) Thankfully, I had my second chance when he happened to be driving by while I was out jogging AGAIN! He remembered me and stopped to talk, like he did before. This led to him taking me out that same week to a wonderfully amazing little Italian restaurant! But before we went out, haha he actually showed up at my house unexpected the next morning shortly before lunch, to visit, and well...we ended up getting intimate with each other.

I will admit I'm not usually the type of girl to move so quickly like that. However, I couldn't resist because I hadn't been touched in a long time (R has had E.D. issues following some prostate problems). Also, this was the first guy outside of R that I'd hooked up with in over twenty years, since the time I first started dating R. Even when R and I had our breakups in the past, or summers when R would dump me like he's seemed to have done this summer, I never had sex with anybody. There have been times I secretly questioned to myself if maybe R had sex with other women, particularly the blonde woman I caught him making out with 16 summers ago. I'll also admit that during some of our breakup periods, I did meet some men at the dance club I used to go to and I would fool around in cars with some of them. But I never went all the way or anything close (it was usually just steamy make-up sessions in their cars). I will admit this felt GREAT! It really opened the floodgates for me by showing me everything I've been missing. He is really good looking and REALLY good in bed. It definitely opened my eyes.

I've been seeing K very frequently now over the last few weeks. I would say probably several times a week. I saw him Monday night, and the night before that too. It helps that he is a retired labor union worker. He has told me so many things about himself, including some of the darker aspects of his past life, and I've shared some of my story with him too. I haven't felt this way about someone in a really long time.

I know what some of you might be thinking...no, R hasn't tried to call or come back. Maybe it's for the best. It's about time that I have my share of fun for once.

Anyway, just wanted to share the great news! I am bummed that I have to return to work in about a week, but happy that I am finally having some fun this summer and have found a way to move on from R!

That's great news!! I hope you're able to stay in touch with K after you go back to work. Make him a priority in your life!

AWESOME !!! Thank you for sharing this great news .

I'm so happy for you! It does feel great to be with someone new and be attracted AND have the off the charts chemistry. I never had this with the xWS but boy do i have it with my new man Congratulations and have fun!

I'm thrilled for you.

Thank you, everyone!

That's great news!! I hope you're able to stay in touch with K after you go back to work. Make him a priority in your life!

Thank you, and I've already made him a high priority! I am so happy to have such a handsome manly man make time for me. I saw him again yesterday evening when he came to my house to visit.

Awesome news!

Please be sure he continues to date you and treat you to new dining and other experiences!

good for you.

Does he call you often? How many dates have you gone on?

When R contacts you be sure to tell him to please not contact you again,because it's disrespectful to your boyfriend,and your relationship.

When R calls just don’t answer.

K calls me pretty much every day. We've been on 3 official formal dates so far, two for dinner at a restaurant and another to dinner followed by a movie, but have also frequently hung out at my house, so probably altogether I've seen him about 9 times already? We were actually supposed to go out last night too to a different restaurant he told me about, but unfortunately he canceled because of some pressing stuff that came up. He did text me later in the night though (I love our flirty conversations!). I am really looking forward to seeing him again.

And no, R hasn't called me or shown up at all since the last I talked to him over a month ago.

So happy for you. I have followed all the ups and downs with R, and it’s exciting when you finally let go and move on.

This year I finally let go of a business relationship that has weighed me down for years. It was a client not a business partner. Although I don’t have the new tingles like you 😀 the new found freedom is fantastic.

This is AWESOME news. So happy for you.

Hi, thank you everyone. I saw him again a few more times. In fact, I just saw him last night after work orientation. I do worry a little though because he will make great plans for a nice date out but lately he has been canceling and then changing it to just meeting me at my house or pushing it back. But last night he stopped by for a bit and we watched a movie on my TV at my house. I understand he has two sons (each from previous relationships) though so that might be why he has to cancel or move back plans. You don't think he's seeing someone else, do you? He asked me if I'm only seeing him and no one else, and I told him not to worry because I'm all his. That should mean he wants to be serious and isn't seeing anyone else either, right?

. I do worry a little though because he will make great plans for a nice date out but lately he has been canceling and then changing it to just meeting me at my house or pushing it back

^^^A bit of a red flag, this guy should be dating you, not spending time on your couch. Are you sure he's not married or in another relationship?

He asked me if I'm only seeing him and no one else, and I told him not to worry because I'm all his. That should mean he wants to be serious and isn't seeing anyone else either, right?

This could be taken several ways, either he wants exclusivity or is seeing someone else or maybe thinks the relationship is moving too fast. It's difficult to comprehend what someone is thinking.

I'd proceed with a bit of caution.

I think you need to ask him where this is going? Also you need to ask yourself what is it that you want from him. If you want abit of fun then just let it be that...fun! Ofcourse making sure that he isnt cheating on his wife kr gf.

You definitely to find out if he is in a relationship. My honest opinion... Yes he may be in a relationship espeecially since hes always turning up at your door wanting abit of a quickie. Sorry to be so blunt. I only say it because thats exactly what happened to my best friend. Her husband use to turn up at her door to Netflix and chill.
Just be careful.

FYI, im a teacher too. I completely understand. The workload is just getting crazy! Enjoy the last week or so before the next term starts!

He asked me if I'm only seeing him and no one else, and I told him not to worry because I'm all his. That should mean he wants to be serious and isn't seeing anyone else either, right?

Did you ask him about his objective in this relationship? If not, is there a reason you haven't? You're making assumptions that he sees this as you do, and that may or may not be the case. I find him moving from dates to showing up for Netflix and chill a bit disturbing. He should be making plans with you.

Cat

Just remember you are very early into this relationship. This is the time when everyone is on their best behavior.

I do worry a little though because he will make great plans for a nice date out but lately he has been canceling and then changing it to just meeting me at my house or pushing it back.

I would not be so accommodating. If he has to change it, don't be so eager to take whatever he comes back with. Tell him you are sorry but you have plans (even if those plans are sitting home and vegging). Remember, we teach people how to treat us. Really work on that so you don't find yourself down a similar path as previously.

But last night he stopped by for a bit and we watched a movie on my TV at my house.

Him just stopping by would be a big 'no' for me. It makes it seem like he just expects you to be there and available whenever the mood strikes him. I don't appreciate anyone just popping up at my house. Heck, I have been with my BF for almost six years and he would never do that.

I would find these unexpected pop ins from this new guy intrusive.

He asked me if I'm only seeing him and no one else, and I told him not to worry because I'm all his.

This was your perfect opportunity to ask him the same thing. I would want to know if we are exclusive or not if you are being intimate with him. Make sure you take care of you!

I would find these unexpected pop ins from this new guy intrusive.

I guess I am used to it by now because R did that so many times. I thought K was being considerate by not parking behind my car in my driveway like R always did time and time again. I will admit I was happy to see him though. I didn't have anything going on and his visit was a welcome surprise.

This was your perfect opportunity to ask him the same thing. I would want to know if we are exclusive or not if you are being intimate with him. Make sure you take care of you!

Maybe I should have asked him to explain more, but it's not me to do that. I get very shy with discussing that kind of stuff, especially with such a new situation, probably because of the rejections I've gotten so many times in the past from R and a few other ex-boyfriends. He did say he was glad I wasn't seeing anyone else. Doesn't that mean he was seeking something exclusive with me and is happy he got it? I am in fact interested in having him as a boyfriend.

I was out for a jog near the park and he happened to be driving by. He stopped to say hi, we got talking, we exchanged numbers,

The first red flag for me. Who does that? You have to be very charming and good looking to pull that off. It’s creepy IMO.

I do worry a little though because he will make great plans for a nice date out but lately he has been canceling and then changing it to just meeting me at my house or pushing it back.

This guy is acting like he’s in an A. You should look into his background, and find out more about him.