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Newest Member: Goku06

General :
So happy to be dating a new man!

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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 6:49 PM on Wednesday, September 21st, 2022

right around the time of the whole dramatic fallout, when he stopped by my house impromptu early one morning, seduced me, literally put it in for one pump

So you knew he was married,and had sex with him. He didn't seduce you. You invited him in.

"someone'shusband

Why the quotation marks? He IS someone's husband. She is not a small detail,to be dismissed.

You're the other woman.

Also..my child is a high school teacher. She works in a predominantly African American area. She is white. She has zero problem controlling the classroom. Some student s get out of hand,but that's because that just happens to every teacher. For the most part, by far, they respect her enormously. Just last week a boy had a fit,and destroyed many things in her classroom. After she walked him to the office,she came back to her students organizing the room,and trying to fix what was broke. They asked if she was ok. They were concerned about her.

So..no. Sorry. Not buying the excuse you're trying to sell everyone..that kids today are uncontrollable because of their parents. If the kids behave that way in your class,it's because you allow it. Period.

You enjoy being a victim. If you were to go to IC, and work on that,your life would change,and you would be a happier person.

[This message edited by HellFire at 7:52 PM, Wednesday, September 21st]

posts: 4655   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8756401
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Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 6:50 PM on Wednesday, September 21st, 2022

A healthier version of you would not give a loser man the time of day. That version would have more job success and more friends. You wouldn't feel so tired all of the time. Seeking help for feeling like you do is no more shameful than seeking help because you have a physical injury. Plenty of us here have spent quality time in therapy.

This^^^^ 100%.

Your negative self-talk is taking a huge toll on you professionally and personally. Only you can change that.

We have a saying around here: broken attracts broken. When you are not emotionally healthy, you are prey for the manipulative, the less than desireable, the Dicks of this world. When you invest in yourself, you get an invaluable payoff.

I have to ask you: WHY are you so against therapy that might really help you? And I don't want to hear about your parents. You're a grown woman and I'm sure you've done some things that have gone against how your parents would have done them. This is no different.

Cat

FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

posts: 33108   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2003   ·   location: Massachusetts
id 8756402
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 7:34 PM on Wednesday, September 21st, 2022

TJG,

You're at it again, blaming everyone else for not welcoming you, blaming all the paperwork on your school admin, blaming your lack of control in the classroom on the kids. COMPLAINING ABOUT A CHEATING LYING CRIMINAL TREATING YOU LIKE SHIT.

Also, WTF? Feeling hurt that he fucked off before you could DECIDE to tell him to fuck off? Call the whambulance. rolleyes I don't have a fiddle small enough to play for you.

What is there to decide? duh

What planet are you living on where there's a discernment process for whether you should be fucking a LYING CHEATING CRIMINAL? shocked

Also, what HF said, 100%- OBS is not some footnote on your sordid "fling" with "POS" as I shall refer to him.

Are you so attached to your precious "victimhood" that you can't even fathom living without it?

It's so much easier to sit in your misery, blaming everyone else for YOUR pain. Time to grow up, put on your big girl pants and DO SOMETHING about the sorry state you are in.

And this is coming from someone who has been there, done that, been the OW and lived to tell the tale. I also DID THE WORK and GOT OFF MY SORRY ASS and GOT INTO IC! Until you start doing that, you are going to have to wake up to the knowledge that YOU NEED TO START POSTING IN WAYWARD SIDE as you are officially an OTHER PERSON. AN AFFAIR PARTNER. AN UNREMORSEFUL OTHER WOMAN WHO IS PEEVED THAT SHE DIDN'T GET TO DUMP AP FIRST.

Do you realize how fucked up that is? You HATED it when R would make out and go behind your back and treat you like shit. YOU CHOSE to do that SAME THING to another woman. YOU brought that into her life (likely not for the first nor the last time, but...). YOU DECIDED TO CONSPIRE WITH POS TO DESTROY HIS WIFE YET AGAIN.

When are you going to be sick enough of your own self that you're going to get off your ass and do something about it?

Your covert narc behaviors and tendencies are triggering enough to me that I am going to tune out from your posts.

I wish you the best, but until YOU can wish yourself the best, I'm not going to waste my time or energy on you.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Back at it again- bantering w the younger woman. Lied about blocking phone calls and deleted texts. Carried on with her. Financial infidelity again- who says you only cheat with lovers?

posts: 839   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8756413
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little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 3:44 PM on Thursday, September 22nd, 2022

I have to ask you: WHY are you so against therapy that might really help you?

She will say she doesn't have time. I don't understand why so much time is spent at school/work. Or doing work at home.

You've been a teacher for so many years. Why can't you re-use previous lessons? Why must there be so many worksheets? The students don't have lined paper to do lessons on?? Maybe another teacher can help me out with this? duh The teachers I know live full active lives outside of work.

I worry that you won't make it 5 more years.

Failure is success if we learn from it.

posts: 5510   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2007   ·   location: michigan
id 8756525
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 6:18 PM on Saturday, September 24th, 2022

6 pages is advice and you haven’t followed one bit of it. You can’t understand why life is so hard for you, but you do the exact opposite of what should be done.

They say, take what you need and leave the rest, well you have left 6 pages of advice and then knowingly slept with a married man, a slap in face to all of us here on SI.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 1795   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8756904
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Darkness Falls ( member #27879) posted at 1:03 AM on Sunday, September 25th, 2022

Count me in as another who for the life of me can’t understand why you have to spend every waking hour working. I have friends who are teachers. My sibling is a teacher. NONE of them need to stay after school until the janitors lock up the building, or pull all-nighters at home to get their work done. And it’s REALLY puzzling that you’ve been teaching for 25 years and you still haven’t figured out how to accomplish your workload within reasonable working hours. shocked

WS - remarried to BH but not in R

D-day 2010

posts: 6388   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2010   ·   location: USA
id 8756942
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lostandbound ( member #56011) posted at 5:15 AM on Sunday, September 25th, 2022

Teacherjoggergirl, I hate to say it but I thought your OP was bad news, from jump. Even without the wife and the criminal record, this dude sounds like a loser. I'm going to italicize the parts of your OP where he comes off sounding like a total creep with no respect for commonplace boundaries. And then I'll bold the part where you make excuses for the fact that this guy had already ghosted you once.

He probably lost interest because I didn't have any free time to see him again. We did chat on the phone a few times after that, but then he fell out of contact. (again, understandably so. If I was a guy, I would think someone like me was disinterested or too busy too) Thankfully, I had my second chance when he happened to be driving by while I was out jogging AGAIN! He remembered me and stopped to talk, like he did before. This led to him taking me out that same week to a wonderfully amazing little Italian restaurant! But before we went out, haha he actually showed up at my house unexpected the next morning shortly before lunch, to visit, and well...we ended up getting intimate with each other.

I'm not even going to go into the stuff your buddy found out, because none of that even matters. If a man doesn't respect you, nothing else matters.
(fwiw, imo, I don't feel bad for his wife. She's a grown adult who must have a pHd in rose-colored glasses or maybe a fetish for creeps. I have no idea how any woman could somehow wind up married to this guy.)

posts: 112   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2016
id 8756961
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