SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I never had revenge fantasies, only regret and embarrassment for being so pathetic when I found out. I look back now and on 2 occasions I knew she was at his house but I was in denial and thought it was one of her girl friends houses.

The day my gut was screaming and she was there, not answering the phone, I should have went and knocked on the door and told to come get her shit out of my house.

Instead I went into false R with her calling the shots and continuing to jerk me around. So if anything, I fantasize about a do over.

I would like to post all the nudie gross pictures she sent to my husband at her daughters wedding. Spread eagle and all! Her Sons wedding too........It would be so delightful. She is not much to look at so it is even better

This goes to 11.

Never did anything, but ooh boy, what I'd fantasized about.

Once upon a time I took a fun quiz about which GoT character I am.

I got Cersei.

The End.

Oh I had many fantasies of grabbing one by her hair, throwing her down and stomping on her face.

I wish I could have gotten her fired, but she'd need to have an actual job first.

Definitely a few 10s. I love revenge movies and have watched a lot over the years but my own mind movies have also had true Scorpio revenge plots. I think part of them was to empower me so I felt I had some sort of control again, particularly as I found out about the affairs years later.

One was all the APs get boils all over their faces and they don't go away until they figure out their contrition. I might find out then if WH fully disclosed all the APs. I know of one of the APs who is someone who puts a new selfie on her FB page regularly to receive compliments so boils on her face would be apt.

Another one of my mind movies was discovering about one of the affairs while they were happening, finding out where they were meeting- say one was at the AP's house. Sneaking in and managing to gather all WH's clothes, phone, keys, because they have removed them in the main lounge kitchen, find details of the AP and her husband (to out her) and then putting all items in a bag and in the car and then going in and confronting WH and AP. Oh I have also moved his car so it blocks the driveway or in the driveway for when her BS comes home. After confronting and taking photos, I leave with all his gear, car keys etc.

The 1991 AP still lives in the same suburb as us! I seriously thought of putting some sort of dog or cat shit letter in her letterbox but then that is on top of the boils on her face. I can't believe that some of you have a company somewhere that does this lol. I wonder if it is against the law here? Is there a new career path for me perhaps?

Oh when DD2 happened and WH disclosed and I got a name of his most recent AP, I joined up a dating service I thought he had used to look at it and used her name and gave myself the worst ever profile, said I was from the suburb she lived in etc. I took it down when I got a bit more rational. Told WH too and he was very sheepish. But then two years later I found that he had not met her on that site anyway but Ashley Madison!!! I would love to seek revenge on the bloody Ashley Madeson site. It would be great to have a certain set of skills to remove those smug photos of beautiful woman putting a finger to their mouth with some terrible photos of people looking their sleezy worst or something like that.

But then my goodie goodie side says the best revenge is to have a great life. But I am still waiting on that perfect revenge movie that fits my thinking

Mine were fairly typical, ranging from I hope he loses his job (which he did, and I got to see karma in full effect), to thinking about getting him arrested on drug charges (he smoked weed - illegal in uk, and my sister works in airport security, would not have been too difficult to put something in his bag before he left and get him singled out for a spot check) which I didn't do..

Ultimately thinking about revenge whilst it feels good in the short term, they don't actually change what happened.. And unless you act on them are just more mind movies to get over.

I just focused on trying to move on, even though for years my WW kept him in our lives by refusing NC. Revenge was unnecessary eventually, as last I heard he has gone back a manual labour job at age 31, no career, no prospects, a girlfriend picking up the bills, and there is no way he can ever afford to go to another music festival which he loved so much (when my wife was taking him and we were picking up the bill).

1. I hire someone to hook up with the OW's partner, then anonymously send her the evidence he cheated on her - 7/10 as it could get me in legal trouble.

2. Instead of hiring someone, I do it. 10/10 as it would be a double revenge (WS used to be friends with her current partner). Big minus: her partner is gross (both physically and as a person). I’d have to get very drunk and even then, I think I’d throw up a little.

Comforting thought: she is so unattractive and low-quality person that she couldn’t find a better guy. Judging by what I know about him, he will eventually cheat on her.

3. I send her an anonymous message that her partner is cheating on her. 6/10 as maybe she wouldn’t believe it without the evidence. However, one should not underestimate the power of planting a seed of doubt!

4. If we ever attend the same event – I put some laxatives in her drink. 3/10 as it would be embarrassing for her, but not really on the same level.

5. She’s insecure about her looks and competences (rightfully). I’m smoking hot. I’m also classy, well-educated, intelligent, eloquent... She doesn’t really know the extent of damage she caused. So, if we ever meet, it is possible there would be some chit-chat. I imagine feeding her insecurities. Maybe throw in some innocent comment such as "oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were older". Or maybe use some big words that she cannot even pronounce, let alone understand. And many other things. 10/10 as it wouldn’t take much effort – I’d just be myself! And it would be so efficacious and satisfactory! I hope that someday the stars will align and make our paths cross!

Last Friday, May 13, I was driving to my office to drop a couple of things off and head home for the weekend. In making the last left turn on a major road before my office (office is like 5 minutes away), the oncoming traffic ran a red light and t-boned me, totaling out my car and leaving me worse for wear. No serious injuries, I have a pretty bruise in the form of my seatbelt, always wear your seatbelt, it saved me from having worse injuries.

It got me thinking that I wouldn't mind if my wife's POS AP got into an accident like that. The weird thing is that I've never seen a picture of this guy. I wouldn't recognize him from the next guy. If he ever came by my house again, which I think is a very low possibility, I am not sure how I would react to him.

I'd set the AP up, make him think my wife is going to meet him at a motel. After a week of anticipation tell him she can't make it, plan to meet the following week.
He will have to drive 1 1/2 hrs to get to Motel.
On the new day to meet at Motel, tell him don't forget to take his pill before he gets to the motel.
Wait for his text when he gets to the motel.
All this is done, using my wife's phone.
After he gets to motel and texts my wife, asking her what room she's in, I send him a text from my phone. Telling him he's just been burned.
Now he has to drive all the way home, with a hard on.

Off the charts I'd say because death would be too easy. I'm talking some serious suffering. I am hopeful that she is such a miserable c#nt that her life will be fraught with misery. One can only hope.

My first fantasy was that she would end up all alone, crying in her pillow every night. (If you could read my mind, it was close to a 10)

The reality (although it’s not all played out yet) was that she had been living with her mother as caregiver. Mom died, family sold nice comfortable home and lifestyle, and OW is now having to find new roof for over her head. In addition she learned that there are twice as many hands in the estate-pie as she thought there would be, and had to stop wild pre-spending of a much smaller "fortune." This leaves her begging friends in another state to let her move in with them and enjoy the fruits of their hard work and fidelity over the years — because it would be so nice to live in a nice peaceful house. In reality she may have to move in with a sister who is just as much a mess as she is.

All other revenge fantasies pale in comparison to her reality now. Although I do still fantasize about slapping her across the face like the mother in Jaws whose son was shark-lunch did to the sheriff. (I do know — is that a 5?)

And since watching the Poldark series, I now wish I had decked my wife the way Demelza did Ross. He got the message.

I have never really had any revenge fantasies at all. I rarely though about AP (well, the one that she admits to...) and I think less often of the other APs (the ones that I am reasonably certain about although she never confirmed).

As far as revenge on my ex-WW, those really aren't fantasies. I know that she cheated on her current boyfriend for at least the first 6-10 months of their relationship because I have the phone records during that time. She was seeing at least 4 different guys, including him. One of the guys was a co-worker with whom she had an advisory role, so 'outing' her fully could get her fired.

About the strongest revenge fantasy that I ever have... would be... to respond to her B.S. with a sarcastic comment about how she's still a liar and a cheat and to tell her something equivalent to "I know what you did last summer." So, that's maybe a 2 out of 10?

But, as always, per the advice of legal counsel, I only communicate with my ex-WW through court-certified communication software. Along those lines, I have truly accepted that she's not my monkey, not my circus.

About revenge. Some have seen the post that after 20+ years at a church I just left due to the senior pastor. senior pastor wrote a lie about me in an email and spread it to others so I decided it was in my best interest to just move on.

I did however report the illegal cash payments the senior pastor received from tenants. Actually the senior pastor received the illegal payments directly. As of last week I learned that practice is no longer allowed to occur and the church members will now be informed of all forms of payments received (rentals, services, donations etc). Turns out the church never recorded those cash receipts so revenue was not accurately reflected for decades.

Senior pastor now has to pay tax on the $50k received. 👍🏻

Not sorry it was reported. I don’t think church leaders should be engaging in fraud.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 7:16 PM, Wednesday, June 8th]

I have fantasized at slashing the guys truck tires but haven’t and probably will not act on it. That was before he knew I knew about it. Now that he knows it would be too obvious and I don’t need a law suit. My way of revenge was sending different messages on fb messenger from different accounts to scare him. Just to let him know I know where he lives what he drives where he works and what he looks like. It worked he came back with some scared response about how he doesn’t want trouble and he’ll never contact my wife ever again. Seeing how much of a true little bitch he is is enough to make me feel better and way less jealous of him. (Sorry for the language)

My XWH's new woman was quite religious and I really, really, really wanted to send them a framed needlework copy of the Ten Commandments with "Thou Shalt not commit adultery" and "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife" in glittery thread. I wanted to send it anonymously but with a note indicating it was from a group of women from her former church WHERE SHE COUNSELED WAYWARDS.

It's probably only a Level 3 and I'm not sure I should call it a fantasy cuz I'd still love to do it if I could figure out how but I do have a Level 10 Fantasy. Which will, of course, remain a fantasy.

Or not, time will tell.

Kidding, kidding. I don't even slap flies, I open the door and shoo them out.

Intro: I get a DX of terminal illness, only months to live. Scene: So I go to their house, ring the bell, haven't spoken to him since the day he left and have never met her or even been in the same state as her and ask if I can come in, that I have some news I must share in person. I sit on a chair in the living room, sitting very modestly, holding my purse close. They sit on the sofa opposite me with inquisitive faces, not sure what to think. I tell them I only have a few months to live and that I wanted to meet them face to face before I die. Their faces soften, they think I'm there to forgive them and make peace. I let them enjoy their moment of victory and then I pull out my little itty bitty gun that I've had in my hand hidden by my purse since I sat down. I point it at them and say, So, since I'm on my way out, one of you is going with me. And I shoot one of them dead. The trouble is, I can't decide which one to shoot so they're quick enough to jump up and disarm me and so my fantasy has a bad ending and I just get so pissed off at the Universe that I can't seem to do anything right and fantasies are supposed to help us and I couldn't even get that right. Ah, but I've been working on myself, getting counseling, taking drugs, doing mental gyrations (to be honest, meditation and mindfulness just aggravate the H*** out of me), trying to become a whole person again and I think I've grown into a more decisive person and less of a wishy-wash since I originally dreamed up my fantasy. And so I've made a decision - I shoot her because I can't shoot the father of my children and also, I want him to suffer for a long, long time, knowing that his actions cost her her life and pretty much killed me, too.

Ah, sweet revenge.

[This message edited by josiep at 11:33 AM, Thursday, June 9th]

So some STD are reportable to the Health Department, and they track down and mandate treatment on everyone involved….. like they send a health department van to your house and everyone knows.

I’m a physician…..who reports things like that in my line of work….

Never did it, because I value my medical license. Like oopsie doodles, did I say WH has syphilis and all his best friends are people I fucked so now they know he has syphilis? Lol. And AP….. well maybe the only address I have for her is her parents. Damn.

2+2=4.

Or 10 maybe…..

I also thought of telling WH that she was pregnant. My fantasies were always about hurting him, not really OW. She didn’t owe me anything, but he did.

And then there is the time I actually did wax his balls. With a lot of wax. All at once. I’m pretty sure he sang a bit of falsetto there…..

His shame is not mine to carry.

[This message edited by 3yrsout at 8:18 PM, Thursday, June 9th]

JosieP - Your needlepoint fantasy is just perfect. It's the level of petty that I can only aspire to.

I think my revenge fantasies were probably pretty tame as far as revenge fantasies go. I wanted to write letters to both her parents and her inlaws informing them of exactly what kind of person she was. For the longest time, I also held on to a marble cheeseboard she gave us as a wedding present with plans to write something super creative like "homewrecker" or "whore" on it with a sharpie and throw it through the windshield of her car (where most of the physical aspects of their affair took place). I ultimately decided I wasn't willing to bring the police into this so I finally just through the damn cheeseboard into the trash (i must say, I felt better once it was gone).

I also used to dream about her getting hit by a bus. Sorry, not sorry.

My wife and I started watching Ozark during the pandemic. When the AP gets thrown over the balcony of the skyscraper and we saw that scene I let out and audible "Fuck Yeah!". I would say that I got to live out a bit of the fantasy through the magic of TV.

I wouldn't say my revenge fantasies were disturbing, I did enact revenge which probably wasn't the smartest thing. Meh you live and learn they both got a taste of my rage!

Thanks again for all those who responded to this thread.

This thread was super helpful for me because I realized that a revenge fantasy, no matter how disturbing, is still just a revenge fantasy.