Newest Member: girlangry89

Off Topic :
I just can’t. More Covid


 HFSSC (original poster Member #33338) posted at 12:08 AM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

My mom has COVID. Yay.

She refused the vaccine, of course. It’s microchipped, or it’s the Mark of the Beast. Or some such nonsense.

My niece, who lives with them, started feeling bad last Thursday. She is between her 1st and 2nd vaccine doses. I rapid tested her Friday night and she was positive. Her room is on the opposite side of the house from my parents’ and she’s very responsible and strict w mask, hand washing and isolating herself. Except my mom was determined to catch it, as bizarre and stupid as that sounds. She kept going in my niece’s room, and then her bright and shining moment: she deliberately finished a sandwich that my niece had eaten off.

Mom called me at work Tuesday, sounding awful. I tested her that night and it was, of course, positive. So the last 48 hours has been just delightful. I’m checking her vitals and oxygen level every couple of hours. Thank God Daddy has tested negative every time. He got vaccinated when he was at my work for rehab in the spring. But Tuesday night when I went to check on Mom, Daddy was standing at the kitchen sink, naked from waist down. I asked what he was doing. “Trying to get the shit off my hands.” Lawd. So I got him to the bathroom and TMI ALERT discovered he was impacted. That took almost an hour to, um, address.

Today I had to take her to the ER. Her oxygen level was low and she was so weak I barely got her to the car and I couldn’t get her out of the car when we got to her doctor’s office. Long, exhausting day. But she ended up getting monoclonal antibodies infusion. It was scary… some of her tests were very suspicious for blood clots in her lungs but that was ruled out.

She did ask me how soon she could get her vaccine shot, so I guess she is a believer now. 🤦‍♀️

Praying that Daddy stays negative and I do as well. I’ve been wearing a KN95 mask and face shield when I’m in their house and in the car with her today. I’m so damn tired.

Me, 54
Him, 45 (JMSSC)
Married 24 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4595   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8687799

Lionne ( Member #25560) posted at 1:36 AM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

My dear, dear woman, you have certainly had more than your share of bad things the past 18 months. You've dealt with it all with grace, dignity and loads of professional capabilities. I'm amazed.
You are one of the many SI posters that I wish I lived near so I could help in reality.
Holding you in the LIGHT.

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8391   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8687817

zebra25 ( Member #29431) posted at 1:41 AM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

Prayers for your family HFSSC.

You certainly have been through more than your fair share. Hope you can get some well deserved rest.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 2448   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8687818

DragnHeart ( Member #32122) posted at 2:03 AM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

Im so sorry. You are so strong to handle all of this. Please stay safe. Hugs. Prayers for you and your family.

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 21887   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8687820

 HFSSC (original poster Member #33338) posted at 4:26 AM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

But wait!! There’s more!

Y’all I’m waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out with a camera crew. My mom fell and we couldn’t get her up. Her oxygen was at 84-85%. So called EMS. Her blood sugar was over 400 when they checked it. While I was waiting for the ambulance I tested Daddy again. Oh, yay. He’s positive now.

Mom is on oxygen now and the nurse just told me she’s pretty sure they’ll be admitting her.


Me, 54
Him, 45 (JMSSC)
Married 24 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4595   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8687844

PricklePatch ( Member #34041) posted at 4:58 AM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

Sister, I am praying for you and yours!

BS Fwh

posts: 3047   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2011
id 8687846

Lalagirl ( Member #14576) posted at 12:32 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

Oh honey, I have no words, just huge (((((HUGS))))) to you. God bless...

Me-56 FWH-58 Married 37 years 9/2/2021 grown daughters-37 & 34 11yo GS,8yo GD&6yo. GD (DD37) and 9yo GD & 4yo GD(DD34). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8628   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 8687866

WhoTheBleep ( Member #49504) posted at 1:50 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

Oh man, this is a lot. Your parents are very lucky to have you.

No other words of encouragement, but just hang in there. (((HFSSC)))

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 1:50 PM, Friday, September 10th]

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4360   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8687877

Bigger ( Guide #8354) posted at 2:06 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

How terrible…
I’m big on stats and have been monitoring a lot of sites with stats on covid.

I think the vaccination was overhyped.
It wasn’t the total cure that would prevent us from ever getting covid. However it does seem that those that are vaccinated are a significantly less likely to get covid versus those that are not vaccinated. In Europe there are countries with up to 70-80% vaccination rates and generally 40-50% of those infected are non-vaccinated. In other words: 20-30% of the population are 40-50% of those getting covid.
There is also mounting evidence that those that are vaccinated but get covid tend to be less sick and if hospitalized then spend less time recovering, especially with the younger (under 40) group.

What the vaccination definitely does is lower the damage and risk of covid. I for one do not regret getting vaccinated. Even if there might be a chip or if I have been changed into a Chinese 5G router…

Please HFSSC – when assisting your parents then take care. Wear a mask, gloves, disinfect regularly and maybe even have a separate set of clothes you change into when visiting or tending to them.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 9858   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8687881

DevastatedDee ( Member #59873) posted at 2:57 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

Oh man. I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this. I hope both your parents come out of this okay. This is a lot.

DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).

posts: 4443   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2017
id 8687887

sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 3:54 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

I wish your mom the best.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8687927

wildbananas ( Member #10552) posted at 4:10 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

Oh goodness... I'm so sorry for everything going on! Thinking of you and yours.

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

posts: 16492   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2006   ·   location: Somewhere
id 8687934

tushnurse ( Member #21101) posted at 6:43 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

Girl I know you are struggling right now, and I know how incredibly frustrated you must be at the whole dang situation.

I'm sending mojo, healing thought, and prayers for you all at the same time.

Bigger - Where I am it is about 10-30% of all admissions are vaccinated, and in the last 2 weeks the ICU numbers are about 10% with vaccination, so yes overall it does seem to minimize illness. Personally need to get my booster, but have pushed it back for a few weeks due to personal health stuff going on, and doesn't look like today is good, because I've either got serious allergy issues or need to be tested. Waiting until tomorrow am to decide. My H isn't going to be around all weekend anyway.

HFFSC - Hang in there!!!! And make sure you are protecting yourself. We all know from you that you can get it again. So let's not make 3 times a charm.

Him: FWS
Kids: 21 &23
Married for 28 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 18936   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8687975

BearlyBreathing ( Member #55075) posted at 5:14 AM on Saturday, September 11th, 2021

Sending support to you and your family, HFSSC!

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTAKinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4211   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8688033

 HFSSC (original poster Member #33338) posted at 2:41 PM on Saturday, September 11th, 2021


This is the best explanation I’ve seen for the confusing statistics with vaxxed versus unvaxxed.

Q: I heard 40% of COVID hospitalizations in the UK are among the vaccinated. What’s going on, this sounds bad?

A: This is a confusing statistic, for sure. This number is actually GOOD news and reflects the really high vaccine coverage of the older population in the UK.

🙋‍♀‍Wait, what now?

Let me explain! No, there is too much, let me sum up.

We are re-sharing this post from July, as the confusion around hospitalization and vaccinated statistics hasn't gone away.

As vaccinations go ⬆️, total hospitalizations will decrease but the SHARE of hospitalizations who are vaccinated will increase.

This is NOT because the vaccines aren't working, but because there are MORE vaccinated people and FEWER hospitalizations overall (remember to MIND THOSE DENOMINATORS!!).

The COVID-19 vaccines are REALLY good, but no vaccine is 100%. Some infections and even hospitalizations among the vaccinated will slip through, primarily among the oldest and most vulnerable groups whose immune systems may not respond as well. We are thus unlikely to drive COVID infections or hospitalizations down to zero.

This means:

💥 When *nobody* is vaccinated, 100% of COVID hospitalizations are in unvaccinated people.

💥 When *everyone* is vaccinated, 100% of (a much smaller number of) hospitalizations are in vaccinated people.

So somewhat counterintuitively, having a high % of hospitalizations among the unvaccinated is NOT a good thing.

The fact that a high % of COVID hospitalizations and deaths in the US are in unvaccinated groups is evidence that vaccine coverage is too low, and there are a lot of high-risk people who haven't yet been vaccinated in the US compared to the UK.

Over 95% of those age 65+ in the UK have been fully vaccinated, compared to around 80% in the US.

In the attached worked example from the Financial Times, you can see how this works out for a hypothetical population of 1 million people with either 92% or 70% of the population vaccinated. With 92% of the population vaccinated, a higher % of those hospitalized are fully vaccinated, but the total number of people hospitalized is MUCH LOWER.

Or if it helps to think of the same phenomenon outside of vaccination, a different example:

Around two-thirds of people who die car accidents in the UK are wearing a seatbelt, despite nearly 99% seatbelt usage overall. This doesn’t mean that seatbelts don’t work. The 1% of non-seatbelt-wearers account for a disproportionately huge 33% of the deaths, and thus there would be MANY more deaths if seatbelt use was lower.

💥 BOTTOM LINE: The vaccines are working.

➡️ The share of hospitalizations or deaths who are fully vaccinated is not a good metric for tracking effectiveness of the vaccines.

➡️ What we care about is the hospitalization rate in vaccinated compared to unvaccinated.

Our real world data still show that even for Delta, the risk of hospitalization in the vaccinated is 95% LOWER than the risk in the unvaccinated.


Those Nerdy Girls

Source: Dear Pandemic

I follow three epidemiologists’ blogs and FB pages, and they are all really good at taking the science and bringing it to a level that’s easily understood.

I’ll update in a separate post.

Me, 54
Him, 45 (JMSSC)
Married 24 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4595   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8688061

 HFSSC (original poster Member #33338) posted at 2:53 PM on Saturday, September 11th, 2021

Mom is doing well. I am thankful she was able to get the monoclonal antibodies and that I got her back to the hospital as fast as I did. She was a stroke or heart attack waiting to happen. Several lab tests showed that her clotting factors were very high, so she’s on heparin now. She’s on several IV antibiotics as well. Her kidney function is not great, so no remdesivir for her.

She left me two voicemails in the middle of the night. Like 4 am. “HF, this is Mom. Give me a call.” Lawd. She’s already given me a list of stuff she “needs.”

Daddy is a testament to why getting the vaccine is a good idea. He has not run a fever or been hypoxic at all. He’s had a cough. I’m so grateful for that.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers and encouragement. I am taking care of myself. KN95 mask and face shield when I go in their house for anything. And in case I didn’t say it earlier I am beyond grateful for a job that allows me to work flex hours from home when I need to.

Me, 54
Him, 45 (JMSSC)
Married 24 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4595   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8688062

million pieces ( Member #27539) posted at 3:40 PM on Saturday, September 11th, 2021

HFSSC - Big hugs! This is really hard and you are doing a great job!

I can share what is going on at my hospital, a larger community hospital that is part of the larger state system. As part of my job, I do end up opening up most COVID admit's charts. We do have a good amount of vaccinated admissions, even in the ICU. But almost every single patient has been immune compromised, or just very old and 6 months out from their vaccination. Our staff are now ~10 months out and starting to get nervous. We are also experiencing many, many health care providers and the support staff walking out. I think this is what everyone should really be afraid of at this point. Even if you don't get COVID, you better not get sick otherwise, as you will sit in our ED for days as we have no staff to open up more beds. We aren't even optimally covering the ones we have now, patient to nurse ratio is not good, burning out more nursing staff. Many of my favorite doctors are leaving. It is a bad time in health care. And my state has a really high vaccine rate and very low COVID numbers and we are still totally overwhelmed. I can't even imagine what would happen if we started getting the numbers we had last winter.

Me - 49D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

posts: 2002   ·   registered: Feb. 10th, 2010   ·   location: MD
id 8688070

Hedwig ( Member #74175) posted at 8:42 PM on Saturday, September 11th, 2021

I'm so sorry, I hope she recovers soon enough and you dad stays the same and gets rid of his cough!

This must be horrible for you to deal with!

Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years

posts: 261   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2020
id 8688089

Tallgirl ( Member #64088) posted at 11:51 PM on Saturday, September 11th, 2021

So glad to read that your parents are doing better.

I read the stats in Canada frequently. We are roughly 68 % double Vaccinated and 74 % single. The population Under 12 is around 15 %. So we are doing well. 20 to 25% that get COVID are vaccinated. About 3% of those land in ICU, When I see the numbers cold it is unnerving. But when I think them through they make more sense. This thing is sweeping through the unvaccinated at an alarmingly rate.

If you look at numbers across Europe these numbers are comparable.

The vaccines are doing a good job at making this a more moderate disease.

Based on the stats. 5 million have died world wide, and that is likely too low. They estimate that 50 million died as at result of the Spanish Flu.

It is horrible, all of it, but I am glad that the vaccines are here.

[This message edited by Tallgirl at 11:53 PM, Saturday, September 11th]

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8688110

 HFSSC (original poster Member #33338) posted at 10:11 PM on Sunday, September 12th, 2021

Oh dear Lord.

Just have to vent.

My mom called me this morning to say she was being discharged today and I needed to pick her up around 6 pm. That seemed a little… hinky to me. I told her I’d be calling the social worker to discuss her DC plans. That’s when she told me she hadn’t been given permission, but had informed the doctor she was leaving. Because she’s “so worried and stressed” about my dad. (You know, the one she punched in the head 6 weeks ago).

She’s “alert and oriented.” She’s “competent.” Apparently if you can answer where you are and what day it is, you can do anything you want. And your family just has to deal with it.

They were going to discharge her today because she talked the doctor into discharging her. I did manage to get it delayed until tomorrow. But she can’t take care of herself. She can’t take care of my dad. We can’t get any help in because THEY BOTH HAVE FUCKING COVID. And why do they both have COVID? Because my deranged (oh, but competent) mother deliberately ate after my niece to get COVID on purpose!!!!

It’s really hard to love her right now.

If you pray, please pray for all of us.

Me, 54
Him, 45 (JMSSC)
Married 24 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4595   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8688192
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