I’ve been there.
I think most of us here have been standing in this exact spot.
I went from shock, to numb, to complete dark depression despair. And then cycled back through it again.
I personally couldn’t do the meds, I think just for me (and not medical advice) — I wanted to take on the feelings head on.
We can all talk about our self worth, because we do find it again, but that doesn’t help you today.
I think once I remembered that this horror shows happens to people regardless of their fame, their wealth, their age, etc., that I started to figure out there was nothing I could have done different.
I also think fear is a huge factor the first year, regardless of what anyone says.
You’re absolutely 100 percent normal!
I described the feeling as if someone cut open my chest, dropped in a grenade, closed my chest and then it exploded. That’s how I felt. For a long time.
How to get through? One step forward, three steps, back, two steps forward, one step back, until you find some momentum.
Clawing out of the darkness is right.
I picked days to talk about it and then I made days where NOTHING about infidelity would be talked about. I found some of the books, films, TV shows, music, event, my kids, my friends — as tiny, temporary distractions. I would say I’ve watched 20 sitcoms all the way through in five years, anything with a chance to make me smile. A walk. A hike. A workout.
Initially, 59 minutes of every hour were miserable, then I got it to 58 minutes. I built on those two good minutes. After a while, I made sure I had ONE good hour every day. I don’t know when, but somewhere along the way I had a good day - a whole freakin’ day!
You feel totally destroyed, yet here you are with the strength to ask for help.
Some folks don’t make it that far.
Aim for the good stuff, even though you can’t imagine it yet. Aim for it anyway. You WILL get there.