Newest Member: MissKitty

I Can Relate :
Betrayed Womenz Thread - Part 3

Topic is Sleeping.
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 8:15 PM on Wednesday, July 8th, 2020

20 that's fucking brilliant. I needed a good laugh today.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3268   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8559004
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LadyG ( member #74337) posted at 8:47 AM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020

His mother remarked that we had “interesting” tastes IN toilet reading material.

So 20, what did W use for laxatives after that.

I am surprised your MIL didn’t spend more time in your bathroom

My MIL found a stack of lingerie catalogues in FIL’s shed and had a meltdown.

We could start our own Friday Funnies here.

Still tempted to print off WH and exAP HARD CORE PORN webcam sessions and post them to her.

Sounds mean, but since I own 50% of the old dears house, the inheritance money would pay my legal fees for the Divorce.

September 26 1987 I married a monster. Chronic Complex PTSD. I Need Peace. Fiat Lux. Buddha’s Love Saves Me 🙏🏼

posts: 938   ·   registered: Apr. 29th, 2020   ·   location: Australia
id 8559269
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20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 3:28 PM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020

LadyG,

I assure you, there isn’t a thing, infidelity related, you could shock me with.

And my Cheater was so offensive with his cheating and mishandling the aftermath, none of the accounts I have read on SI compare

BW, 54 WH 53
When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2101   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8559355
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Hedwig ( member #74175) posted at 7:12 PM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020

My first time posting in this topic, since I feel like talking but not like opening a thread.

I've been feeling low/sad/alone the last couple of days. I have been doing my self-care, take it one moment at a time, but I have also been indulging in a lot of social media and too little human connection. I'll be videocalling with a friend in a couple of minutes. Yesterday was better than today, the day before was worse. It has it's ups and downs but overall a little on the low side the last week or so.

I could really, really use a hug right now. I couldn't even get one from my mom the other day, because of Covid. I miss being able to hug people for comfort.

Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years

posts: 261   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2020
id 8559469
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 7:30 PM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020

All the virtual hugs coming your way Hedwig!

It's okay to have low/up&down days. I still do and I haven't seen the fucker in 10 months as of tomorrow. Just be patient and kind with yourself.

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3144   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8559479
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20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 9:21 PM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020

Hedwig?

Open those arms wide. Giant bear hug coming your way.

I’m sorry you’re feeling down. If your Cheater is close by, scrubbing the toilet with his toothbrush might help

BW, 54 WH 53
When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2101   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8559552
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DaisyAnne ( member #71434) posted at 10:48 PM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020

Hugs to all the new ladies here. Hedwig, it is definitely a rollercoaster of emotions. Extra hugs for you!

Me: BW - early 40's
Him: WH - late 40's
Married: 18 years, together 24
2 teenage children
Dday: 5/23/19
Reconciling

posts: 241   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2019
id 8559606
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Outoflove2020 ( member #72682) posted at 1:11 AM on Friday, July 10th, 2020

@Hedwig - I'm with you on the hugs, I really miss them. Another reason I'm looking forward to heading home and getting hugs from my mum. Do we ever get too old to need hugs from our mums? Big hugs to you from me.

I too am feeling low and down. I did just go out for dinner with my friends but felt very anxious the whole time, which is weird. Maybe it was because I've not left my house in 3 days. I don't know. But I was anxious to get home.

My thoughts are spiraling tonight, wondering if he even cares and thinking he probably doesn't. How I'm sitting here, swimming in hurt, whereas he probably doesn't give two flying shits as to how hurt I am. I'm REALLY trying not to think about him, I'm trying to throw up the Stop sign in my head but it doesn't seem to be working. He's probably sitting at home, not doing anything, hanging out with his kids, his life is not all that.....but I wonder if he's taken down the photos of us and the family, I wonder if he's thinking about this time last year when we were getting so excited to go to Hawaii (where he was originally going to propose). I've been looking at photos again from that time, with the intention of deleting them, but for some reason I just can't bring myself to do it. I look at photos of him and me and look for the unhappiness that he says he felt, but I just can't see it.

Ugh. I can't wait for Saturday and I can leave on a jet plane.

Big hugs to anyone who is struggling tonight.

DDay 1/15/2020.
Separated 3/1/2020

Still healing but in a better place

posts: 375   ·   registered: Jan. 28th, 2020   ·   location: DC Area
id 8559658
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Outoflove2020 ( member #72682) posted at 1:53 AM on Friday, July 10th, 2020

Oh lord. Just watched the episode of Friends where Chandler proposes to Monica and I am just sobbing. I was supposed to have that. He was supposed to give that to me. He planned to propose. But he chose his married AP instead. I know it’s better that we didn’t get married but holy hell does it hurt.

DDay 1/15/2020.
Separated 3/1/2020

Still healing but in a better place

posts: 375   ·   registered: Jan. 28th, 2020   ·   location: DC Area
id 8559669
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gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 2:04 AM on Friday, July 10th, 2020

OOL - these are data points that you are processing. It's OK. We've all done it. It DOES get better. Those first few months were sooooo awful. I had a massive trigger around month 4 when I found a receipt for a gift I bought my WH. It was a giant meltdown (like I have to leave the house kind) over.... a receipt that had not one damn thing to do with my WH's A. Just brought me back to a moment where I felt so much love for him.

It's hard to flash back to the good memories and then have the reality hit you upside the head.... again & again & again. And it really does get better. Doesn't go away, but you'll get better at managing as you come to acceptance.

It's a process. Like blending a frozen margarita. At first, you hear the blades whirring and crushing all that ice and it sounds awful and you wonder if your blender will have the strength to get through it. And then it does. And then you have a moment of peace whilst you have your margarita. (sorry if this is minimizing, I was thinking of making a batch when I got on SI, so that awful ice crushing whirring was already on my brain).

And maybe culling out photos is a project that can wait a bit? For a time when you have a bit more reserves?

M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived

It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies

posts: 3369   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2018
id 8559673
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LadyG ( member #74337) posted at 9:41 AM on Friday, July 10th, 2020

Hedwig (((((hugs)))))

I know I make jokes about the vile deeds WH and exAP got up to.

But, I had a short crying meltdown today. Having a hard day making sense of work and then realised July 10, 2019 was the first time I became aware that OW even existed. I had no idea who or what she was to him. The OW officially became a client of my business. He sent me a text with her name and address to set up her account.

I know I shouldn’t have, but I sent STBXWH a screenshot of that message with a Happy Anniversary!

I feel better now 🙏🏼

September 26 1987 I married a monster. Chronic Complex PTSD. I Need Peace. Fiat Lux. Buddha’s Love Saves Me 🙏🏼

posts: 938   ·   registered: Apr. 29th, 2020   ·   location: Australia
id 8559756
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 6:00 PM on Friday, July 10th, 2020

Hedwig, big hugs girl. I miss hugs too. pandemic has certainly magnified infidelity pain with social distancing.

OOL, I am sorry it is so difficult. Photos are so often a trigger. Can I suggest that you pitch them in a box so you don’t look at them. I often wonder who my husband turned into too. I guess it only matters who they are today. And for me, he is not someone I respect. I miss who I thought he was.

I want margaritas

Good one LadyG!

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8559984
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 6:07 PM on Friday, July 10th, 2020

Hedwig big hugs new friend.

Photos - those are a fucking mind fuck of epic fucking proportions. I don't look at those. I turned off memories in FB and put older/newer ones in frames around the house. No photos from the Donut Years in the Land of Chaos.

Tallgirl margaritas are my drink. Make mine a double. Frozen, salt and next round is on me.

As for the whirling of ice in the blender. Make that a dark fantasy and think of drinking the frozen lime frothy blood of your enemies [the AP in this case]. I mean green is appropriate right - they are Predators after all.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3268   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8559989
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Outoflove2020 ( member #72682) posted at 10:37 PM on Friday, July 10th, 2020

I'm supposed to be packing for my trip tomorrow, I have zero motivation.

Today I'm fixating on the wedding and the marriage that I never got. That I knew he planned to offer to me but then met the AP and apparently decided that he didn't want it any more. I wanted to be married. I wanted to marry him. I wanted to declare our love in front of our family. It was going to be a small ceremony. But then were were going to go lavish on the honeymoon as we always had the most wonderful trips together.

And now that's gone because he's a cheating, lying scumbag who discarded me as if I never mattered.

I'm 43. What if I never get the marriage? I never knew I wanted it until I met him.

Sorry. Pity party for one tonight.

[This message edited by Outoflove2020 at 4:40 PM, July 10th, 2020 (Friday)]

DDay 1/15/2020.
Separated 3/1/2020

Still healing but in a better place

posts: 375   ·   registered: Jan. 28th, 2020   ·   location: DC Area
id 8560142
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Outoflove2020 ( member #72682) posted at 10:38 PM on Friday, July 10th, 2020

You ladies are all so awesome. I wish I could be as strong as you all. I read this thread frequently to give myself strength.

Thank you all. One day I will be beyond this enough that I can hopefully repay all the love and support on this forum.

Ugh. I'm whiney today. I'm sorry. I will get better.

[This message edited by Outoflove2020 at 4:39 PM, July 10th, 2020 (Friday)]

DDay 1/15/2020.
Separated 3/1/2020

Still healing but in a better place

posts: 375   ·   registered: Jan. 28th, 2020   ·   location: DC Area
id 8560143
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20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 2:06 AM on Saturday, July 11th, 2020

No worries OOL, we all have our down days

I know I juggle fury and utter disappointment that the Cheater I married didn’t value US enough to fix his shit

Stupid Fucker

BW, 54 WH 53
When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2101   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8560220
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 3:19 AM on Saturday, July 11th, 2020

OOL, enjoy your trip!

I found hard vodka seltzer’s tonight. Nice and only 4 points on weight watchers. Same as a slice of cheese. Woot woot

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8560233
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20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 4:16 AM on Saturday, July 11th, 2020

So I found an interesting stock today, symbol O. That’s it, just the letter O. I called a buddy, suggested we buy a bunch, because every woman deserves to have an O. She loved the idea.

WH thought it was an impractical motive for a bunch of women to buy O stock.

We buy it, then know we bought stock in O.

BW, 54 WH 53
When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2101   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8560238
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HeHadADoubleLife ( member #68944) posted at 9:45 AM on Saturday, July 11th, 2020

"That" thread is making me want to punch things... Why do I even read any thread with sex in the title anymore? At this point it's a form of self harm

BW
DDay Nov 2018
Many previous DDays due to his sex addiction

Hurt me with the truth, but don't comfort me with a lie.

Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.

posts: 830   ·   registered: Nov. 26th, 2018   ·   location: CA
id 8560278
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 3:48 PM on Saturday, July 11th, 2020

HHADL,

In reconciliation?

I had a peak. I had sex once in 12 years. No O stock for me. He wasn’t that good.

Who knows if I can even have sex again. The once was very painful. Use it or lose it. Take that comment as motivation.

I hope viagra stops working for my ex. He deserves to know how it feels like to be unloved.

I have been on old sites. Lots of men with just hard ons. Lots of married hard ons too. Quite discouraging.

Yah. You are right. Not good to read, brings up shit

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8560340
Topic is Sleeping.
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