Thank you for your oppinion, but I cannot ignore the fact that you miss a lots of things that I've already mentioned here and already happened.
I've disclosed the affair not only to my wife, but to all family and friends and notified them then I'm going to divorce.
In my country, the court does not care who f.d who, so only the spouse support will be affected if a spouse decides to betray his/her family.
I actually did investigate, I know now the full identiy of AP, his phone, address, recorded their phone conversations using VAR and I also have a witness who saw them coming out from a 'just friends' motel and believe that is more than have enough evidence to zero her spouse support.
Funny you mention, but if you take the time to read back I mentioned many times that 2 weeks after the DDAY1 I started a therapy because of my emotional shock and PTSD symptoms. For 1.5 month I visit trauma specialists who helped me to get my shit together and be able to function as a human being after such a betrayal. Not because I'm f.d up by default, it is because the trauma that the cheating caused.
Yes, I agree my wife was very-very stable and consistent delivering further lies, continue the affair and lie about it and gaslight and blameshift me more.
She told me many times she finished the affair and I believed her because foolishly I still loved her (sorry) and tried to believe in her in the last 2 months. EVERY TIME she said that, in the next 2-3 weeks I caught her betraying me again, so I got DDAY2 and then the phone messages under a fake name, WHICH WAS the last drop. (BTW she said to me she also hesitated what to do and in her family oriented hesitation she tried to organize a f.ck marathon).
You know not out of fear, but in the hope of doing everything to save my marriage I endured these 2 terrible months. But after the last incident I went to visit my LAWYER and INITIATED the divorce MYSELF (also recorded here, even mentioned the conditions).
I also admitted that I was in an emotional storm and could not see straight during these 2 months. But I drew a line. Where I drew a line it is my personal boundary.
BTW the separation offer will be sent to her via mail this week, probably tomorrow or on Wednesday and she has to reply to it, otherwise the lawsuit as it is will go for the court in 15 days. Is this a hesitation?
I really admire people who can decide so quickly about a fate of a 15 year marriage WITH 3 children considered. It took me 2 months. Sorry, if somebody sees this as instability and/or personal issues.
And I will rather be a single dad who will teach his children not to accept a liar in a relationship but bust her/reveal her and show the consequences. DIVORCE is in this case the consequence which will happen in 15 days with an aggreement or not.
[This message edited by madmax76 at 12:59 PM, Monday, May 22nd]