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Newest Member: Papi

Off Topic :
Let's talk grandparenting!

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ladyphoenix ( member #72766) posted at 1:08 AM on Thursday, April 28th, 2022

Our grandson just turned three. He is so busy and a joy to have around. He was born two months after DDay and as you can imagine I was struggling for a long time. Sadly I had a hard time feeling true joy in those days and it was so discouraging to me that I wasn't feeling truly bonded with this new family member. They lived with us for most of his first two years and I felt like I was always watching from the outside. That got us through all the shutdowns and isolating. Now that they have their own place, we take him for a weekend every month. I love these special times with him. I am healed enough now to appreciate the blessings in my life.

He was in cloth diapers when he was little (some disposable in emergencies), that was something I didn't do. I loved seeing them lined up, drying in the sun.

M 23 years, together 29. DD1 Feb 2019, DD2(TT) June 2019, DD3 (TT) July 2019, (TT) March 2020, (TT) Sept 2020We have 3 children: 22,19, 13 and a grandson April 2019. We work daily on R and building a stronger relationship.

posts: 116   路   registered: Feb. 8th, 2020   路   location: Canada
id 8732387
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 7:56 PM on Sunday, May 15th, 2022

We had a lovely baby shower for D last weekend. She got a lot of things from her registry. After the shower, she decided to take any remaining clothes off of her registry as I think she has too many! I did get her a few newborn and 0-3 months, but mostly 3-6 months and 6-9 months.

Anyone know how accurate those sizing numbers are? I realize some depends on the size of the baby at birth, etc.

Before we came home, I was able to go with her to one of her midwife appts., and got to hear the baby's heartbeat. It's just all so exciting!

Now we just wait.

Lionne, how is your DIL doing after the miscarriage?

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1032   路   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   路   location: Southern California
id 8735457
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 11:24 PM on Sunday, May 15th, 2022

Lionel....so very, very sorry! I personally miscarried years and years ago. It is so very hard. 馃槩馃槩馃槩

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7567   路   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   路   location: Southeast USA
id 8735480
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 1:44 AM on Thursday, May 19th, 2022

She's okay. Talking about it in a healthy way and hoping she has good news in the months to come.
Thanks for asking!

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8488   路   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   路   location: In my head
id 8735945
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Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 11:27 AM on Thursday, May 19th, 2022

Congratulations and welcome to grandparenthood! It is the BEST!

I used to post grandkid pix in F&G all the time, but I cannot seem to figure out how to do it now that the old way of posting them is gone.

I have five grandchildren - we affectionately refer to them as the Fab Five. laugh We didn't think we'd have any because both of my DDs had infertility issues (2 of my grandkids are IVF miracles). We have one boy (almost 13), and four girls (10, 9, 8 and 6).

I was very much involved in both of DDs' pregnancies. And yes, so different from back in the day, lol. Back in my day, we didn't get ultrasounds unless there was a concern, so I only had one when I was 2 weeks overdue with my youngest. 4 of the 5 of my DD's pregnancies involved a maternal-fetal specialist for various reasons.

The timing of the birth of my first grandchild was uncanny; he was born the day before my father passed away. Same hospital. My dad got to see pictures of the baby but since he was ill, could not hold him. I swear he's my grandson's guardian angel!

It has been (and is) a wonderful journey - enjoy every moment because it goes by so fast! smile

Me-56 FWH-58 Married 38 years 9/2/2021 grown daughters-38&34 12yo GS,9yo GD & 7yo.GD (DD38) and 10yo GD & 5yo GD(DD34). D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8877   路   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 8735979
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Reddirtman ( new member #77340) posted at 3:07 PM on Saturday, June 11th, 2022

Just saw this topic, so here鈥檚 my input. 10 grandsons ranging in age from 24 to 2 years old. Two oldest are steps, but they鈥檝e been with us so long, they鈥檙e ours. Needless to say, get togethers are loud and wonderful. We live on 120 acres in the country on land my family has raised cattle on, for almost 170 years. Our three children and their spouses love coming home as this is their safe place, and this has transferred to our grandsons as well. Wife is retired, and my job is flexible, so we get to keep them quite a bit for days at a time, which gives us our greatest joy. I have often said that if I had known that grandchildren were going to be so much fun, I would have skipped children, and gone straight to grands.

[This message edited by Reddirtman at 3:09 PM, Saturday, June 11th]

posts: 12   路   registered: Feb. 18th, 2021   路   location: OK
id 8739730
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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 8:55 PM on Saturday, June 11th, 2022

Not a grandparent but this thread reminds me of when my children were small.

We saved money by buying their clothes from Goodwill / Salvation Army. They grow so fast their clothes are only temporary. Not worth it to spend lots of money on something they are going to quickly outgrow.

((((Lionne)))) I'm so very sorry, this is devastating news. I'm sending out positive, healing thoughts to the whole family.

My youngest son (24) wants to be a parent. He recently broke up with his long-term gf, so I guess we're gonna have to wait for a while!! laugh laugh laugh

Middle son (27) does not want children, and that's ok. But I think he would be a good uncle.

Eldest (28) eventually wants children but obviously needs a gf first laugh laugh laugh laugh He's working on qualifying as an accountant in England and studying a lot (plus working), so has a virtually non-existent social life. But I believe it will come.

By the time any of them have children I should be retired (3 years). So I will have lots of time to babysit (DS 3 plans to move back to our country), travel to visit the children if / when necessary (UK not a long plane flight for me).

I am looking forward to that next phase of life. smile smile

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8445   路   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   路   location: EU
id 8739769
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 10:19 PM on Saturday, June 11th, 2022

We are down to the wire now... D is 39 weeks. Her mood is better she says, because she knows the birth is imminent and she's not looking at another month of this.

So can some of you who are already grandparents share something with me? I'd like to know when that 'click' comes that differentiates the excitement of knowing you're going to be a grandparent to that of 'OMG, this is the most spectacular thing in the world' moment. Is it the first time you hold the baby? Is it several days or weeks after the baby is born.

For so many years, I've heard people say being a grandparent is the best thing ever, and I'm just not getting it yet. I mean, I'm so excited for D and her H, but I don't feel the connection that I hear so many grandparents talking about. Please tell me this changes! I seriously have questioned my ability to feel this - I've only talked to one friend about it (who has one grandchild) because I'm almost embarrassed by my lack of connection. We will be arriving hopefully the day of, or next day after she's released from the hospital.

@Lionne - how is your DIL doing?

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1032   路   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   路   location: Southern California
id 8739779
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 2:56 AM on Sunday, June 12th, 2022

Number4 when you hold that baby you will connect, especially knowing your kids will mess it up 馃榾. You will be there to help them along and give them ice cream for dinner 馃榾

The first lesson I learned as PawPaw is a lot of the things I stressed about as a Dad didn鈥檛 really matter in the big picture. Spoil that baby and let the parents work it out.

I have 2 granddaughters 6 and 8 and my first grandson is on the way.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 1652   路   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   路   location: Texas DFW
id 8739805
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 5:41 AM on Sunday, June 12th, 2022

I feel you will be "taken" by your gbaby when you see, hold, or otherwise interact with him/her the first time.

I have to honestly admit that I never wanted grandchildren. Sounds horrible doesn鈥檛 it? And I was certainly disappointed that my son and the mother of his child were not married. But when I laid my eyes on that little girl, all of that washed away! It may come a little later for you, like when you hold the baby the first time, or as he/she is searching your face. Never be concerned that the connection will not happen. That is totally out of your control!

I guess it is a bit selfish, but I had so much trouble, so many issues, with my sons and their birthmothers, and I spent so much time (my choice) worrying about them as they were growing up, that I just didn鈥檛 think I could go through that stress again.

I was so completely DEAD wrong.

Just like with my boys, my love and adoration for my grandchildren came through despite any worries and/or concerns i had.

Also, I didn鈥檛 really care whatever name my grandbabies wanted to use with me, except "Grandma". I don鈥檛 know why, that鈥檚 just the way it was with me. So when our first grandbaby was born, I couldn鈥檛 decide what cool name I wanted to be called by her. So I asked my husband, "What name do you want to be called?" And his response鈥 yep, "Grandpa". So of course, that made me "Grandma". and I am "Grandma" to this day, and could not care less if I wanted to. It鈥檚 the sweetest sound in the world to me. 鉂わ笍鉂わ笍鉂わ笍

Congrats to all of you who are soon becoming grandparents, and those who already are.

This is a GREAT topic!!!

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7567   路   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   路   location: Southeast USA
id 8739821
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 8:18 PM on Sunday, June 12th, 2022

Not sure how I have missed this thread the whole time but I have.
My first is due in a month or so. Next Dr appt will set C section date.
My son is super excited about becoming dad and is already doing a super job being step dad to her 11 yr old.
We had their shower this weekend and it was wonderful. The kids had fun, they got lots of large ticket item gifts, and is just one step closer to the real deal.

Her mom is her babysitter and lives almost next door. But she has promised me I can have the baby anytime. We don't dont know gender yet as they decided to wait. I honestly can't wait to welcome this little one.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19439   路   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   路   location: St. Louis
id 8739891
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getbusyliving ( member #71058) posted at 6:59 AM on Monday, June 13th, 2022

Love the comments on this page and thank you for setting it up smile

I have never been or am not one of those clucky people who love all human babies. I loved my kids as babies and once I knew a baby they were definitely ok. However, I just adore my wee grandson and there is definitely a difference between being a parent and a grandparent. Being a grandparent is just awesome!!!! We are fortunate that we are two houses away from each other and see him all the time. He stays over and we go out and have adventures. I am just having a lot of fun and it is just so different. It is like - if only I had been like this as a parent, just so much more relaxed and enjoying him in the moment. He has health issues though and we have a big thing happening which I wish I could just be the one who has to go through it for him, but he is a brave wee boy.

He has also been such a distraction from my own shite with WH's cheating and I am really grateful for that as it poured some joy into the absolute pain I was in. Honestly, thank Mother earth for him and his beautiful cheeky smile.

BS:54 (me). WS:54. together 30 yrs on DD1 March 2017.

TT /lies until DD2 July 2017OL,P, EA, Sex workers.

Dates known: 1991, 2004, 2009, 2011, 2016, 2017.

posts: 91   路   registered: Jul. 21st, 2019   路   location: Aotearoa /NZ
id 8739929
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 7:02 PM on Monday, June 13th, 2022

Catching up, here. Number, I've found the sizing to be very inaccurate! I mostly hold the item up and judge if it will fit. GD is long in the torso so that's the barometer. I recently went thrift storing and found 2 brand new designer outfits for peanuts. Also, 3 brand new wooden puzzles.

Bonding. I can tell you that I felt a connection immediately while sniffing her beautiful (bald) head. But as she has grown, and recognizes me and reaches for me, as I rock her with the same lullaby over and over and she magically falls asleep, when she grins at me and copies my waving or funny faces, I KNOW her. And she knows me.

It will be so much harder for my son who lives farther away. His wife did have a miscarriage but is cleared to get pregnant asap. With that grandchild, I've no doubt her parents will be the best know grandparents, she's an only child and I will be VERY surprised if they don't relocate. I fully plan to be an active participant in the android version of facetime, despite the fact that we want to limit screen time.

I get to babysit at least once a week and drop over another time or so. I am very blessed.

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8488   路   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   路   location: In my head
id 8739994
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 6:31 PM on Wednesday, June 15th, 2022

D is in labor!!! At the hospital with contractions 4-5 minutes apart. I can't remember what that means. She hasn't been checked yet for dilation and effacement, so there's no telling. She called me about three hours ago, while she was in the tub, saying she thought she was having contractions, but wasn't exactly sure it wasn't gas. When I didn't hear back from her, I assumed there was no fart to relieve the gas. Just got a text from son-in-law, confirming labor!

Woo-hoo!!

Looking at airfares now.

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1032   路   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   路   location: Southern California
id 8740358
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 4:10 PM on Thursday, June 16th, 2022

My grandson has been born!!! 24 hours of labor, but he's here, and beautiful. Mom and baby are doing well.

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1032   路   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   路   location: Southern California
id 8740456
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WTAF ( member #79274) posted at 4:49 PM on Thursday, June 16th, 2022

Congratulations!

Our granddaughter is due 5 weeks from today.

posts: 118   路   registered: Aug. 13th, 2021   路   location: All up in my feelings
id 8740460
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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 9:34 PM on Sunday, June 19th, 2022

Congrats!! Hope baby, mum and dad (and grandma!!) are all well. grin grin grin

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8445   路   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   路   location: EU
id 8740972
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 9:56 PM on Sunday, June 19th, 2022

Congratulations 4!!!!!

We are getting down to the wire here too. My niece is 1 cm dilated and has not dropped but did lose her plug. My grandbaby will come the week of the 13 by scheduled c-section.

I cannot wait. We still don't know what it is. I'm thinking girl. Just because out of 6 people having babies in the next 2 mos 5 are confirmed boys. That and my son wants a girl.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19439   路   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   路   location: St. Louis
id 8740977
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 9:56 PM on Sunday, June 19th, 2022

Congratulations 4!!!!!

We are getting down to the wire here too. My niece is 1 cm dilated and has not dropped but did lose her plug. My grandbaby will come the week of the 13 by scheduled c-section.

I cannot wait. We still don't know what it is. I'm thinking girl. Just because out of 6 people having babies in the next 2 mos 5 are confirmed boys. That and my son wants a girl.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19439   路   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   路   location: St. Louis
id 8740978
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BraveSirRobin ( Guide #69242) posted at 11:32 PM on Sunday, June 19th, 2022

Congratulations, 4!! And good luck, tush!

WW/BW

posts: 2840   路   registered: Dec. 27th, 2018
id 8740991
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