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Newest Member: Goku06

Off Topic :
Let's talk grandparenting!

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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 2:55 PM on Wednesday, August 17th, 2022

Not a new grandfather, but we see our GS only 2-3 times a year, so we have some of the aspects of new GParenthood....

Son and GS, 12 years old, are visiting now. Son went off on his own last night (old friends), and W did something, too, so GS and I were together alone for the first time ever. We went out to dinner, at a restaurant I chose, since GS wasn't enthusiastic about anything.

He is not communicative about himself, and he's still filled with angry and sad feelings towards his parents because of their D. He asked me questions about myself, and I decided to answer as a way of modeling self-disclosure. I had a great time, and I think he had at least a good time. Maybe he'll start saying something about himself (within the constraints of his age, of course).

Very, very satisfying.

ETA, 27 hours later: I asked him some questions, which he answered. They just left. Plainsong is napping. I'm too exhausted to nap. Nice to have our apartment back. blush

[This message edited by SI Staff at 6:28 PM, Thursday, August 18th]

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 27569   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8750802
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 11:34 AM on Sunday, August 21st, 2022

sisoon

so glad you got to spend that time. And here’s hoping there are more times like this ahead. He will benefit from having you to lean on.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7634   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8751340
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 11:42 AM on Sunday, August 21st, 2022

So, after getting up at 4:00 am to help H, I am back in the den getting ready to go back to sleep, and I get a text.

Never a good sign at 4:30 am.

It was my grand baby’s mother. She has been having some blood in her urine and back pain. A scan shows a kidney stone.

So she was texting to tell me she was in bad pain and couldn’t pee and needed to go to the ER. I said to bring the baby right over.

So, of course I really hate that she is dealing with this, but on the flip side, I am lying next to a 4 year old 👼🏼 just watching her sleep. 💕

She is my silver lining!

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7634   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8751341
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:41 PM on Sunday, August 21st, 2022

Hope they help your grabdbaby's momma and you have an awesome day with the Grand.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19509   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8751349
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 2:33 AM on Monday, August 22nd, 2022

sisoon - Since you don't see him often, do you think he would be open to some regular FaceTime calls with you? I've heard grandparents say it's a lifesaver in building relationship with far-away grandkids.

We're really struggling with the FaceTime thing. D lives in a time zone three hours ahead of us, so by the time H gets home from work, it's already 9PM there, and the baby has been in bed for two hours... and parents are pooped. And no, I'm not willing to wake up at 6AM, before H leaves for work, to try to get a FaceTime in. We're going back for a week in mid-September, so maybe we can have a conversation then on trying to come up with a couple of regular times a week.

D1 tried to FaceTime me today, but D2 (who D1 also attempted to call) and I were at the theatre seeing Moulin Rouge (a good friend of hers from college is in it).

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1046   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: Southern California
id 8751419
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Clarrissa ( member #21886) posted at 12:14 AM on Saturday, August 27th, 2022

I have four grandkids - 18 (trans-female), a granddaughter who will be 14 in November, a granddaughter who will be 13 in December (the day after Christmas) and a grandson who will be 9 (and for the life of me I can't think of when his birthday is) laugh It's great, really. DH and I have been Papaw and Mamaw since the oldest was 2.

BH Cee64D - 50
FWW (me) - 51


All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.

posts: 6187   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2008   ·   location: A better place
id 8752478
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 4:51 AM on Wednesday, September 21st, 2022

So... we've been home a week now, after spending another week with D and her family. The baby, now three months old, is giving my back and neck a run for the money, and I actively do weight training and Pilates four times a week. He's like 69% height, 64% weight, and 96% head circumference!!! I guess when I think about my neck pain, I can't imagine him trying to hold that bowling ball up! But yea, I finally succumbed today and went to the chiropractor for the first time in almost three years - my neck has been killing me; holding him has made it worse, as has not sleeping in my own bed, and being on a plane for six hours.

I can't believe how much he's changed in a week! He laughed for the first time this week, is close to rolling over from his back to his tummy and is really finding his hands and feet. And he was such a flirt with us last week. If you blew him raspberries, he'd widen his eyes at first in a state of being startled for about a second, then smile really big and say, "agoo, agoo." Also starting to drool, but I didn't have the heart to tell D that the amount he's drooling now is nothing compared to what it will evolve into!

It was amazing watching D and SIL as they've settled into their roles since we were there two months ago. They've got a pretty predictable routine, which we all know, will last long enough to just get it figured out, then it will change again! He sleeps between 7PM-7AM, with only one feed during the night.

Have any of you seen these Merlin suits they use for babies and sleeping? They make the baby look like the Michelin Man, but damn, they help. The gadgets and doodads that new parents have available these days is remarkable!

Probably won't see them in person again until Christmas, when they will come out here. They *thought* we might come back for Thanksgiving, but I just can't do it.

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1046   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: Southern California
id 8756308
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:42 PM on Wednesday, September 21st, 2022

I got to keep my guy 2 weekends ago overnight. He too is only getting up once in the "night" to eat, and sleeps like a champ.
He wasa 2 mos old last week. He is smiling, and starting to coo. He is adorable.

I am very excited because I get to see my nieces little man for the first time this weekend. He is 2 weeks older than my Grandson.

It is very strange how many babies have entered my life this summer. Its wonderful.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19509   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8756344
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 10:49 PM on Friday, September 23rd, 2022

Spent 2 glorious weeks "down the shore" with my efamily, granddaughter, sons and husband there the whole time, daughters in law there much of the time. GD is 11 months old. Very personable, not yet walking. I know her well, know her moods, know what she wants much of the time. She is an amazing eater as long as she can feed herself, her fine motor control is awesome and she laughs at herself when she drops something in her plastic bib. She is also starting to sign "more."
I'm her jukebox. As soon as she gets in my arms she rocks side to side and sings. We have a large repertoire!

Love her to pieces.

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8497   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8756829
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