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I Can Relate :
Betrayed Womenz Thread

Topic is Sleeping.
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20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 5:28 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2019

My story is complicated by shitty health ( two strokes from a, then, undiagnosed, blood clotting disorder. Coincidentally, the cause of the pregnancy complications. You know, the ones so hard for Cheater to deal with?

I am also a Registered Nurse. Still trying to work after this stroke bullshit too

Oh, and I am mean, remember?

BW, 54 WH 53
When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2110   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8450189
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 6:04 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2019

Oh yeah 20yrsagoBS you are so fucking mean. You and your damn truth telling and calling things as you see them. How fucking cruel to make that fuckwad look at his true reflection. Damn you and your inner strength. How dare you have the nerve to be bad ass when he's such a fuckwad - because now you being strong in spite of his fuckwad fuckups is just making him see what a fucked up fuckwad he really is. And the only retort he has is to cry "you're so mean" like a small child being sent to his room.

ETA - in my head now I'm singing "you're so mean...you probably think this rant is about you..."

OMG - brainblast! Next time he says that - start singing

[This message edited by Chaos at 12:07 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3297   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8450215
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20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 6:16 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2019

I LOVE that song idea!

Wait! This is Infidelity Bullshitland

I LURRRVVVE it

BW, 54 WH 53
When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2110   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8450229
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DevastatedDee ( member #59873) posted at 7:24 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2019

Just so you know, your Introducing Myself thread had me giggling.

DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).

posts: 4541   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2017
id 8450286
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 7:27 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2019

Yup - that Introducing Myself thread should have come with a "do not drink" warning

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3297   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8450289
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Sorrowfrost ( new member #66159) posted at 7:45 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2019

Infidelity Bullshitland

Waywards whine, are you listening?

In their eyes, tears are glistening

A beautiful fight,

We're having tonight,

Treadin' Infidelity Bullshitland.

Gone away, is the sweet wife

Here to stay, is the strong wife

She sings out her truths,

Sometimes they're uncouth,

Treadin' Infidelity Bullshitland

In the backyard we can build a target,

Picturing their face as the bulls-eye,

Practice throwing axes 'till we hit it,

While waywards sit inside and have a cry

Later on, they'll perspire

As we hold their feet to fire,

And stand unafraid,

By the comments we've made

Stompin' Infidelity Bullshitland

Me: BW
Him: WH, serial cheater

posts: 8   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2018   ·   location: USA
id 8450303
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20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 7:47 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2019

Update!!

Again, I am the bad guy, because I told Cheater I wasn’t interested in fixing this shot anymore. Fine, this is how we’ll live.

I will travel a lot, to get away from the stress. He can enjoy vacations in his delusions.

Yes, because spanking his monkey fixes everything.

BW, 54 WH 53
When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2110   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8450304
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 8:22 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2019

OMG SorrowFrost! I am dying laughing over here!!

I say we toast to your lovely song lyrics this week

20yobs - I concur with Dee & Chaos on your Introducing Myself thread HAHAHA

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3175   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8450337
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heartbroken83 ( member #71395) posted at 9:02 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2019

SI needs like, love and laugh buttons!

posts: 147   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2019   ·   location: CT
id 8450362
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 11:12 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2019

If he is serious about changing, he will do it no matter if you are around or not.

That's it! I've said it before. If the CP is only working to save the M, keep the BP, they don't get it. They need to do the work because they want to be better people. Period.

Obviously, the BOs who say they set boundaries and then let the CP bend or break those boundaries, aren't really setting boundaries. You have to be ready and willing to follow through with your plan is your boundary is compromised. If you're not, there's no point.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8450459
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TX1995 ( member #58175) posted at 12:01 AM on Friday, October 11th, 2019

Re: doers and why they do things.

WH and I were just talking about this last night as we were discussing Love Languages. He was an acts of service guy - always touting that he was "doing" things and telling himself he was doing those things "for me". He sees now that most of the things he did needed doing anyways, like the trash and that doing them was never to show love. All of the trash, lawn mowing and unloading of the dishwasher was appreciated, but never once did he stop to think what I really wanted. Now he knows that playing a 30 minute game of Scrabble is worth days of his "work". It's funny too, because AOS isn't even HIS love language. It was just the ONLY love language he saw growing up. His parents didn't spend quality time with their kids or each other, words of affirmation only happened when they were perfect, physical touch was pretty much a no-no, (They not only don't really hug on or touch the kids, they don't touch each other), and gifts were inconsequential because they were never thoughtful and returned half of the time. So his "doing" was all about doing what he saw modeled for him. I told him that him grabbing me a new bar of soap when he sees mine is almost gone in the shower is more touching than rolling the trash up the driveway. One he would do whether I was there or not - the other shows that he was thinking of me. Same with filling up my gas tank if he sees I'm low. It's always the thought, never the actual action.

I think a lot of men are doers and fixers, and not really thoughtful about WHY they do or fix - and usually that's because they want to look good to others for doing their job.

I am feeling like it's Friday bc my kids are out of school for a 4 day weekend. I've been having a shitty week with a ton of anxiety heavy on my chest, lots of late nights of tears, lots of snot and tissues involved. I am looking forward to the whole house sleeping in for a little while tomorrow (WH will even be working from home so he'll sleep in too). The weather is turning cold tomorrow, and I'm glad to seay goodbye to 90 degrees. I've planned two fun friend outings for the weekend with other families, and I just bought myself a massage Groupon for next week. I'm so TIRED of feeling bad y'all!

20 years, your WH should consider himself lucky that all he's gotten is sarcasm and bitchiness. Last night I said some pretty harsh things to WH (true, but biting) and he told me that while it did feel hurtful, he knows he deserves all of the anger. THAT is what your WH should be saying. Not calling you a bitch. Fuck that.

Coco - I have had the zero feeling hug too. Often. Sometimes our walls are up so high that we just can't afford to let them in.

I'm the BS. WH had a 3 month EA/PA with a cOW. DDay was 4/17. Working on R. Married 15 years and together 20 at DDay.
DDay #2 and #3 6/19. Grew a conscience and admitted a full blown physical affair. Now in limbo.

posts: 983   ·   registered: Apr. 6th, 2017   ·   location: Texas
id 8450481
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 12:16 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2019

Ladies, tonight please toast Scooby. She needs our support. Boxer is out today I think.

She is one amazing betrayed womenz

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8450654
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heartbroken83 ( member #71395) posted at 12:54 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2019

So he didn't kiss me goodbye when he left this morning. He didn't touch me at all last night. He allowed me to touch him and kissed me when I approached him for one. You know a pop kiss that has no touch otherwise....great thanks for that! Anyways I text him when I realized he left without saying goodbye and he was like "sorry...Im running late" It literally takes 2 seconds to kiss me goodbye. And he knows this is one of my things that I said he needs to step up on.

I know he is irritated that the kids haven't been doing what they are supposed to do around the house but why take it out on me? Because I didn't catch it? Whatever...

Thanks for setting my day up to be miserable...I freakin hate that he has so much control over my happiness. I was in an awesome freakin mood yesterday and he ruined it right before I got

home. UGH

Happy Friday's ladies!

Agreed, toast to Scooby!

posts: 147   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2019   ·   location: CT
id 8450677
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 1:05 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2019

Yes. This weekend toast is dedicated to Scooby! That woman and what she's endured and thrived in spite of is probably one of the most bad ass womenz SI has ever seen.

I hope Boxer is still hurting from dropping soap. To me he will always be Scooby Dum. SD for short. Because he doesn't deserve to be named - just initials. He doesn't get bolded either. Because he's a tiny limp dick fuckwad.

Sorrowfrost - you had me cracking up! THIS will be what I'm singing this upcoming holiday season.

And....FUCK.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3297   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8450680
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 1:44 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2019

Toast to Scooby!

freakin hate that he has so much control over my happiness.

You are giving him that power. Take it back!

Do you think he's sliding back into his old ways, getting comfortable thinking he doesn't have to love bomb you anymore? That's not R. That's rugsweeping.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8450706
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 1:46 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2019

heartbroken83 Your happiness is not his to take or control.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3297   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8450708
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heartbroken83 ( member #71395) posted at 2:21 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2019

Probably is thinking we can just slip back into it. He texted me again with a better apology, not good enough though. I am not answering him he can sweat for a bit.

IC cancelled me this week due to insurance, hopefully will be all set next week. I need to work on myself and to figure out how to not let him have this control over me. I am so weak when it comes to him!

posts: 147   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2019   ·   location: CT
id 8450723
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 1:02 AM on Saturday, October 12th, 2019

Speedbump, I forgot to respond to your comment about soulmates. My soulmate was a woman. It was amazing the way we just clicked. Your soulmate doesn't have to be your spouse.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8451034
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BigBlueEyes ( member #71441) posted at 3:10 PM on Saturday, October 12th, 2019

Good day today, everything going on as normal, working hard then a quiet night in with my boys, they are all staying over for a movie marathon once all the GC are tucked up in bed,

Happy fucking weekend womenz,

We are all bad ass bitches that deserve sparkles, fun, & laughter in our lives

Me- BW, 47
Multi Dday's,
DB A's x 2 BFF
Multi ONS's, Online shit.
Serial cheat, Abuser,
D 18.02.20
Stay strong, just because it’s hard today, doesn’t mean that next week it won’t get easier!!

posts: 674   ·   registered: Mar. 11th, 2019   ·   location: A tiny dot in a big 'ol World
id 8451177
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 6:18 PM on Saturday, October 12th, 2019

My soulmate was a woman. It was amazing the way we just clicked. Your soulmate doesn't have to be your spouse.

Amen to that Coco! My soulmate is my female bestie! Love this!

fBS/fWS(me):48 Mad-hattered after DD1
XWS:51 Serial Cheater, NPD tendencies
Together 25 years, Married 19
DD(18) DS(15)
DD1 (2008) COW, DD2 (2012) MOW, False R (2014) Same MOW. DD3 (2019) Webcam girl

posts: 8064   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8451229
Topic is Sleeping.
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