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I Can Relate :
Betrayed Womenz Thread

Topic is Sleeping.
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likeapinball ( member #50073) posted at 10:06 PM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2019

TX1995 - I know - it breaks my heart to think that it's quite likely at least one of them will have this experience. It just better not be them that ends up as the Wayward! I would lose my shit.


posts: 217   ·   registered: Oct. 26th, 2015   ·   location: Canada
id 8467623
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 10:23 PM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2019

Yeah I avoid weddings and pretty much anything about luuuurrrrrve right now. Feeling hostile and stabby seems to be working for me lately

Hi lapB!!

Different vent/rant... I am feeling twitchy AF about my job right now. Fingers crossed for me please. I cannot afford to lose my job...

ETA:

lapB here is the womenz dictionary, just so you can be looped on acronyms.

Dictionary to date

BASGU - Bad ass sparkly goddess unicorn - A BW - gorgeous, warrior, goddess, survivor

CSAH - captain save a hoe - A man that feels like he has to "rescue" a homewrecking AP

D2DW - dollars to donut whores - Bet you anything you like

DA - douchebags anonymous - Betrayed Womenz Thread (side note, we need 12 steps for this one)

ESAD - eat shit and die - Nuff said

FMR - Fuckmerunnin - Sarcastic disbelief

FOAD - fuck off and die - also needs no definition, but can be used creatively ie "Hey you! Take a walk on the FOAD road!"

GFD - great fucking day - depending on context, can be sarcastic or enthusiastic commentary on a given day

KITD - kick in the dick - Can mean physical kick, but also striking at the spiritual or metaphorical dick

RA+ - Rashawnda approved - Badass

S+BB - sparkles & bitch boots - Super spiffy bitch boots

SSCS - Stupid shit cheaters say - cheater's 'script' as it were

WTFF - what-the-fuck face - The face you make when something so stupid is said your brain actually short circuits

WWRD - What would Rashawnda do - She would wave her finger at it and say that it's "not our fault the mens are too dumb to see it"

And you can get caught up on the epic awesomeness that is Rashawnda about 4 posts from the bottom on this page:

https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=626617&AP=741

[This message edited by EllieKMAS at 4:31 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)]

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3145   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8467635
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likeapinball ( member #50073) posted at 10:43 PM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2019

Thanks Ellie! I figured out the KITD but the rest went over my head!

Will keep fingers crossed for your job!


posts: 217   ·   registered: Oct. 26th, 2015   ·   location: Canada
id 8467650
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20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 10:46 PM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2019

You forgot Soft Serve-Erectile Dysfunction

Hard Serve- No ED

BW, 54 WH 53
When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2101   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8467651
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 11:47 PM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2019

Catching up

Tainted. I have no idea what isn’t. It seems WH tainted everything. Christmas trees. Butter tarts. All holidays. Tones of cities. Camping. Roses. Penis. A soFt serve so I hear.

Tx. Why can’t you tell the obs?

R. I think R is not possible for many because the cheating and lying was a dealbreaker. Some of us don’t know straight away that it was a deal breaker. Who the hell loves a cheating soft serve?

Ellie, great dictionary.

GFD all.

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8467683
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 2:25 AM on Thursday, November 14th, 2019

Current mood...

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3145   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8467734
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likeapinball ( member #50073) posted at 2:33 AM on Thursday, November 14th, 2019

Yep... Go Fish!


posts: 217   ·   registered: Oct. 26th, 2015   ·   location: Canada
id 8467739
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Lostheart8 ( member #71607) posted at 3:15 AM on Thursday, November 14th, 2019

Just catching up with the thread.

Ellie you make me piss my pants.

TX big hugs. Touching post.

I recommend trying the Sedona method. You can YouTube it. I’ve been using Sedona YouTube videos and a Sedona practitioner and it’s helping me through some of the worse times. If you search for videos look for ones by hale dwoskin. He’s videos are the best.

I have bad insomnia (thanks for the gift douchebag) and I put on Hale’s videos. His voice helps to calm my nerves.

Overall the technic has helped with triggers and understanding my baggage.

It’s funny...one of my clients kids got married. What do I think in my head? I wonder if they will deal with cheating? Dating Peter, I think will he cheat?

Just in general dating, I’m realizing that most guys would lie if they cheated. They’re not going to tell me, oh hey I cheated on my ex wife. It never once occurred to me to ask if they cheated. Cheating only happens to some people and they have fucked up marriages.

Big fucking reality check.

So douchebag is back, proclaiming his love. Oh yeah, I’ve got a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn. I had a nice time being blunt with him. Lol. He’s like...you’ve changed. Oh yeah, I’ve changed. Stop wasting my fucking time. It feels liberating not to need this man. Won’t lie, still sad. But I don’t need a fucking man in my life.

Remind me of that when I’m sucking dirt of sadness.

No soft serve here. BOB got me covered.

posts: 162   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2019
id 8467749
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Lostheart8 ( member #71607) posted at 3:16 AM on Thursday, November 14th, 2019

Ellie - got fingers crossed for your job. Sending you good mojo. ❤️

posts: 162   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2019
id 8467751
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 1:11 PM on Thursday, November 14th, 2019

Ellie, 🤞

TX, your CH's latest confession has brought you back to square one, less than 6 months from dday. It is so painful, so hard. It will get better. You can't get your old M, old life, back, but you can make a new one, with or without your CH.

My fch once pointed at an old pic of us where we looked so happy and said he wanted that back. I said, "Well, guess you should've thought of that before you stuck your dick in another woman!" That was at least 2 years from final dday. I was still so pissed.

My oldest son's wife cheated on him and got pregnant by the OM. She recently denied cheating saying she didn't get pregnant while she was with my son. I think I figured out how she could come up with that. She moved out about a month or so before she told my son she wanted a D. She got pregnant during that time. I gues she figures that, since they weren't living together, it wasn't cheating. However, they were still married. My son was under the impression that she just needed some space, but they were still together, not separated. She may not have had sex with the OM until she moved out, but it's pretty obvious that's why she needed space. She had at least an EA going on for months before that. So, yeah, she cheated in every way.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8467828
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TX1995 ( member #58175) posted at 4:50 PM on Thursday, November 14th, 2019

Thanks for the support ladies.

Coco - thanks for the reminder of 6 months. I keep forgetting that since I've been swimming in this infidelity shit for so damn long. I must be wading back into an angry phase because I want to rip that OW's face off and give my asshole of a husband a massive KITD. I'm so sorry about your son's wife. I love the people who say they didn't cheat if there wasn't sex. Give me a break. I don't even believe there was no sex. Just not enough to get her pregnant. Cheaters suck.

GMC - forgot to say before that I think it *is* good news that your WH wants a new therapist and took the rec of the CSAT. I feel like this infidelity bullshit is so similar to alcohol/drug addiction in that THEY need to come to a place where they want to change. All of our hopium doesn't do diddly without their desire. If for nothing else, I hope he gets help and makes changes to be a better co-parent and friend to you. You deserve it.

Tallgirl - oh, the OBS knows there was sex, but he defends his whore to the death. She is such a coward she doesn't speak or text - he does it all - all three times we've talked via phone/email/text she is silent and he threatens legal action against first my WH (haha!) and me (for telling her she gave me a disease). I have anger towards him as well for sticking his head in the sand. I just want to make a public proclamation that his wife is not a #girlpower #authentic amazing woman and mother and friend. She is a soulless whore who chased after a married man. I mean after they had sex, and he told her he felt bad, and she did too (ha), they didn't talk at all the next day but she showed up at his hotel room at 5 am, called him outside the door and told him since they'd already done it, why waste the trip and took off her clothes. That's a class act right there. And my piece of shit coward of a husband ate it up. (He's not off the hook either.)

(Just typing that sent my body into adrenalin overdrive - this shit is going to literally kill me and I can't make it stop.)

LH - You are awesome, stay strong and let the douchebag know what he lost!!

I think the holidays are contributing to my blues. All of the talk of traditions, gratitude, family love, etc. has me full of grief. I hate that I let my WH's actions take away my joy. THAT makes me feel weak too. Ugh.

I hope you are all having a great Thursday. It's cold here but the sun is shining and I just got myself a latte. I'm ignoring schoolwork, housework and volunteer work for the moment while I watch some trash tv and drink it. Self care womenz. I hear it helps...

[This message edited by TX1995 at 10:52 AM, November 14th (Thursday)]

I'm the BS. WH had a 3 month EA/PA with a cOW. DDay was 4/17. Working on R. Married 15 years and together 20 at DDay.
DDay #2 and #3 6/19. Grew a conscience and admitted a full blown physical affair. Now in limbo.

posts: 983   ·   registered: Apr. 6th, 2017   ·   location: Texas
id 8467930
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 5:28 PM on Thursday, November 14th, 2019

I think the holidays are contributing to my blues

I feel that! I was out and about yesterday. Wandering aimlessly in shops in between various appointments. I felt...nothing. No joy. No anticipation. No...nothing.

While I'm doing good overall - the Holiday's plain suck. Nothing like a reminder that for 4.5 years, while unbeknownst to me, I had to share WH with a fucking donut whore.

While I'm doing good overall - those glitzy decorations and fancy displays are just painful reminders that my life is now tainted. They mock me.

While I'm doing good overall - I want to stamp my feet like a fucking toddler and say "you know what I really want for Christmas - I want her head on a fucking silver platter and I want you to present it to me" Think CreepShow

I did sip my coffee and engage a few moments in the dark fantasy of pelting WH with every fucking sparkly donut ornament I saw and smacking the crap out of him with the big ass roll of Christmas wrapping paper with fucking glitter donuts on it.

But when the moment passed, I took another sip of my coffee and said FUCK YOU to the ornaments and gift wrap, tossed my fantabulous freshly done blonde hair over my shoulder and kept on walking and pushing my cart.

Bless whoever put the Holiday chocolates in the next isle over.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3269   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8467964
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 6:11 PM on Thursday, November 14th, 2019

Chaos I wuv you

Yeah, I have really never liked the holidays anyways, so I am grinchtastic over here...

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3145   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8468006
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DaisyAnne ( member #71434) posted at 9:37 PM on Thursday, November 14th, 2019

While I'm doing good overall - I want to stamp my feet like a fucking toddler and say "you know what I really want for Christmas - I want her head on a fucking silver platter and I want you to present it to me" Think CreepShow

Can I order one of those too?

I have the same feelings about the holidays coming. I don’t feel like doing all the shopping and decorating. I am just not into it. I have been doing much better these past few weeks but I still don’t feel like celebrating. I’m just trying to focus on enjoying our family time.

Tomorrow I am getting my Lasik surgery! I’m excited and nervous. One of the big positives from this whole shitshow that has been my life these almost 6 months is that it made me put myself first for once. Looking forward to seeing clearly now... physically as well as emotionally.

Me: BW - early 40's
Him: WH - late 40's
Married: 18 years, together 24
2 teenage children
Dday: 5/23/19
Reconciling

posts: 241   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2019
id 8468128
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 1:21 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

You're getting 20/20 for 2020 Daisy! Awesome!

Well a lot of squirrellyness about the job for nothing as it turns out. All is well. Phew!

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3145   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8468243
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20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 4:19 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

Glad the job stuff worked out Ellie

BW, 54 WH 53
When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2101   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8468308
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 2:07 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

Thank goodness, Ellie!

Daisy, my fch got lasik years ago. He was very happy with it.

I have always loved Thanksgiving. I usu6spent it with my dad, which made it special. Never been a big fan of Christmas. Probably because I usually spent that one with my mom. Thanksgiving will be sad this year. My oldest can't come now. He says he can't afford to miss work.

I'm more into Christmas this year. I've already started buying gifts, just little things I see when I'm out and about that I know someone will like. We didn't have a tree last year. My fch was being an ass about getting a real one. I refuse to have a fake one. I'm going to insist this year. If he won't get it, I will, dammit!

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8468453
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Lostheart8 ( member #71607) posted at 7:59 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

Thank you Ellie for grumpy cat! Love it!!!

I’m with all of you. Not one ounce of holiday cheer here. Fuck all of that.

We are team kick the fucking holidays in the dick ladies.

posts: 162   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2019
id 8468649
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 8:18 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

Seasonal Dictionary item up for vote:

KTHITD - Kick the Holiday's in the Dick

All in favor...

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3269   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8468660
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 9:17 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

Aye

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8468683
Topic is Sleeping.
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