Topic is Sleeping.
Chaos (original poster member #61031) posted at 4:41 PM on Monday, October 30th, 2023
While Halloween was never a major trigger, it is a minor nuisance. It used to be my favorite Holiday.
Post DDays, I learned that while I was home being Mom doing Mom things with my then pre-teen/young teen child, WH band was playing. And LTAP was in attendance. Once, she won a "sexiest costume" prize when WH band was playing. Mmm….hmmmm.
Since them, I haven’t really dressed up. If we went out I’d go to Dollar Tree and get some sort of festive headband and call it done [think, cat ears, etc.]. I’d have the nod to participation and inwardly groan. I’m a BASGU. I don’t need the validation of contests but also didn’t want to deal with the [perceived] rejection of a "loss". Because the Rabbit Hole of "LTAP could win and you couldn’t" is a motherfucker. WH and I discussed this at length last year (after a mini-flooding episode).
So this year, we went. And in an 11th hour decision, decided to wear some old stuff we had around the house. We’d "participate" in the event but wouldn’t "enter" the contest(s). Compromise at its finest.
There we were, at this event, all in our glory doing our golden-couple thing. And me, being me, danced the night away. WH, knowing it was a kind of bittersweet type participation, danced along with me a good amount of the time.
Towards the end of the night, the band made an announcement. They decided instead of having an audience participation type vote – they were awarding the prize to the best costumed couple dancers – that was based on their observations of the crown throughout the night. They just watched and awarded.
And wouldn’t you know – that envelope with all that prize money was handed to me.
BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades - Children (1 still at home) Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBS 2018 Cease & Desist sent spring 2021"Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"
Stevesn ( member #58312) posted at 4:46 PM on Monday, October 30th, 2023
Thanks for the great story. I’m glad you did this.
fBBF. Just before proposing, broke it off after her 2nd confirmed PA in 2 yrs. 9 mo later I met the wonderful woman I have spent the next 30 years with.
SadieMae ( member #42986) posted at 5:19 PM on Monday, October 30th, 2023
What a great story! Of course, you won for just being you. That's because you ARE a BASGU!
Me: BW D-day 3/9/2014
TT until 6/2016
TT again Fall 2020
Yay! A new D-Day on 11/8/2023 WTAF
SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 5:52 PM on Monday, October 30th, 2023
That awesome. You won and you weren't even trying - you were just being yourself. 
Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers
Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.
emergent8 ( Guide #58189) posted at 7:49 PM on Monday, October 30th, 2023
Love this. Congratulations Chaos!
Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:42 PM on Monday, October 30th, 2023
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Lostwings ( member #79902) posted at 9:41 PM on Monday, October 30th, 2023
That was great !!! Congratulations !!
We need more positive story like this here in SI!!
I thought it was love at the end of the rainbow , but a banshee came and almost destroyed my pot of gold . In R.
MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 10:27 PM on Monday, October 30th, 2023
WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Nexther ( new member #83430) posted at 10:54 PM on Monday, October 30th, 2023
MoonlightAndMagnolia ( new member #82774) posted at 11:13 PM on Monday, October 30th, 2023
Way to go! Congratulations on your win.
DDay 11/12/22
Married since 3/1996
Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 3:08 AM on Tuesday, October 31st, 2023
Husband had six month affair with co-worker. Found out 7/2020. Married 20 years at that point; two teenaged kids. Reconciling.
Blackbird25 ( member #82766) posted at 2:17 AM on Wednesday, November 1st, 2023
And wouldn’t you know – that envelope with all that prize money was handed to me.
OF COURSE IT WAS!!
This made me smile big. Very awesome indeed!
Me: BS Him: WH, Married 1996 -
DDay#1: 6/1/2012 (EA 3 mos, PA 1 month) - DDay#2: 12/26/22 (EA, 1 wk) -
Reconciling and doing well.
Howcthappen ( member #80775) posted at 2:28 AM on Wednesday, November 1st, 2023
YEAH!!!!!
So happy for you!
Three years since DdayNever gonna be the sameReconcilingThe sting is still present
Howcthappen ( member #80775) posted at 2:28 AM on Wednesday, November 1st, 2023
YEAH!!!!!
So happy for you!
Three years since DdayNever gonna be the sameReconcilingThe sting is still present
DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 4:05 AM on Wednesday, November 1st, 2023
Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.
EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 4:37 AM on Wednesday, November 1st, 2023
That's what BASGUs do. They win for being kickass and awesome.
What a great validation for you Chaos!
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 12:40 PM on Wednesday, November 1st, 2023
BASGU= Bad Ass Sparkly Goddess Unicorn 🦄
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 1:08 PM on Wednesday, November 1st, 2023
Perfect! BASGU for the win!
Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.
Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 4:19 PM on Wednesday, November 1st, 2023
AWESOME post my friend...thanks so much for sharing !!! You OWN your favorite holiday now !!!
A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)
I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!
From respect comes great love...sassylee
another1 ( new member #84022) posted at 8:13 PM on Thursday, November 2nd, 2023
Topic is Sleeping.
