Newest Member: Imthecheater


Me: BW 40 on DDAY
Him: WH 40 on DDAY (FlawedBroken)
Together over half our lives.
D-day 3/9/2014
TT until 6/2016
TT again Fall 2020

Vent - He didn't introduce me

WH works with a woman that makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel they are too friendly. Their office doesn't have a professional atmosphere and it makes me uncomfortable. WH is aware of this.

Last night we had to run something by his office after hours. As we're leaving, guess who pulls up? Her. WH saw her car pull in and said, "Who is that? Oh, it's Heather!" He stops my car (he was driving) and rolls down the window and proceeds to have a conversation with the woman.

When he said "Oh it's Heather!" I straightened my hair up and sat up, expecting to be introduced to this woman. Instead he talked to her for several minutes she even asked where the puppy was! but I was ignored. WH pulled away and said, "That was Heather." I simply said, "I gathered that."

Later he asked me if I was upset because I was quiet. I had gotten my second vaccine earlier in the day, so I wasn't feeling all that great, so that definitely played a part in my demeanor, too. I told him that I wanted to say something, but I didn't want him to get angry or defensive. And then I told him that I was disappointed that he didn't bother to introduce me to Heather. I left it at that. He said nothing. He has still said nothing. I'm sure if I don't mention it again, he will continue to say nothing.

Add to this that just a few weeks ago I said to him that it bothered me that I don't meet his co-workers, I don't meet his friends. I introduce him to my co-workers and friends. I don't get it. I don't have 2 heads, I don't smell, I make nice conversation. It makes me feel like he must think I'm a troll.

21 comments posted: Thursday, May 6th, 2021

Other Types of Abuse and how they are addressed

My personal opinion is that Infidelity is abusive. The BS is possibly exposed unknowingly to disease, there are probably lies and gaslighting. After discovery, many WS increase their lying, increase gaslighting tactics. Personally I was lied to and misdirected through gaslighting for at least 2 years. It may still be going on, who knows?

But my question is, in what other abusive situations is the victim encouraged to stay with their abuser? Why is infidelity different? Why is an abused spouse encouraged to work with their abusive partner?

Most people don't go from abuser to healthy spouse without a lot of work. If the abuse was physical instead of mental, the victim is encouraged to remove themselves from harm. But when the abuse is mental instead of physical, the victim is encouraged to stay, work through this, hope their abuser becomes safe.

I'd love input from others.

83 comments posted: Friday, April 30th, 2021

Email Address Lookup?

Can someone look up an email address for me?

1 comment posted: Monday, October 19th, 2020

How to send an Anonymous email?

Any tips or ideas on how to send an anonymous email? I don't want it to be trackable to me or my location.

5 comments posted: Friday, August 11th, 2017

Help finding an email

Can anyone offer help finding an email address?

I know the person's Facebook page, I know where they work, if that helps.


0 comment posted: Thursday, January 21st, 2016

Who Moved My Cheese

I was wondering if anyone else has read this book. If so, how did you apply the lesson to R? I can certainly see how it could apply to S/D.

If you haven't read it, it's a quick read about being open to changes in life.

8 comments posted: Tuesday, January 19th, 2016

Hidden Apps

Is there a way to get an android phone (or an iPhone, WH has both) to show any hidden apps that are installed?

6 comments posted: Wednesday, June 24th, 2015

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