Newest Member: nailofthe9


Me: BW 40 on DDAY
Him: WH 40 on DDAY (FlawedBroken)
Together over half our lives.
D-day 3/9/2014
TT until 6/2016
TT again Fall 2020

What helps you?

What do you want to hear after you've had a trigger? Do you discuss triggers with your spouse, or is it best to just deal with it in private?

Honestly, I feel like we are so separated because we don't/can't discuss issues in our relationship that touch on the A. I have pretty much given up on bringing anything up because it does no good and only leaves me feeling even more alone. But is it me? Is a simple "I'm sorry" and "I'm sorry that bothers you" the extent of what should be said?

A recent example, we were watching TV and two older characters met and ended up going out to dinner. She was a divorcee, he was a widower and conversation came around to how awkward they felt as they discussed how long it had been since either one had been on a first date. BOOM I haven't been on a first date since 1994 H's last first date as in 2013. That makes me sad.

The next evening, I bring it up I was triggered in the show, I tell him what triggered me. I'm told "I'm sorry"

I guess I just want more - tell me how you feel about it. Tell me how you feel about my sadness. Silence and the quick "I'm sorry" just make me feel like he wants to close the door and back away as soon as possible. More than likely, he won't even want to watch the show again.

Is this empathy? Shouldn't discussing things help us feel closer, not further separated?

12 comments posted: Tuesday, June 21st, 2022

Email Address Lookup?

Can someone look up an email address for me?

1 comment posted: Monday, October 19th, 2020

How to send an Anonymous email?

Any tips or ideas on how to send an anonymous email? I don't want it to be trackable to me or my location.

5 comments posted: Friday, August 11th, 2017

Help finding an email

Can anyone offer help finding an email address?

I know the person's Facebook page, I know where they work, if that helps.


0 comment posted: Thursday, January 21st, 2016

Who Moved My Cheese

I was wondering if anyone else has read this book. If so, how did you apply the lesson to R? I can certainly see how it could apply to S/D.

If you haven't read it, it's a quick read about being open to changes in life.

8 comments posted: Tuesday, January 19th, 2016

Hidden Apps

Is there a way to get an android phone (or an iPhone, WH has both) to show any hidden apps that are installed?

6 comments posted: Wednesday, June 24th, 2015

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