I thought it was love at the end of the rainbow , but a banshee came and almost destroyed my pot of gold . In R.

Is FaceTime sex as intimate as Actual Sex?

My WH had almost a 6 months online affair with an old college friend which was very intense, after an online reunion . She lives thousand miles away from us.

After I found out about their sweet chats, he finally confessed about the FaceTime sex last August .. and my world just fell apart.

It was daily chats from morning till bed time and they did FaceTime daily as well, included twice a week FaceTime sex .

For me , knowing their intense online sex was excruciatingly painful but I wonder, what is the category of FaceTime sex. WH and I disagree about it, he considered it more like an EA since there was no touching involved. However, FaceTime image is so clear, close up and vivid, it could be very intimate . He still reached orgasm and I consider their affair as PA. He recently admitted , the sex act was more PA than EA.

I consider his FaceTime sex to be much more personal and intimate than just watching porn or doing it with a casual stranger . He did it with his AP, where intimacy and feelings were involved . The EA is just as devastating to me as PA and combined , it is a blow to my heart .

I also wonder if almost a 6 months relationship can be considered as a long term affair ? I have another disagreement here with my WH . I consider their A to be the beginning of an LTA if I did not find out . The intention to continue was there. He is more realistic about it and still considers it as a short term fling , trying to minimize it I guess . Mars vs Venus.

I am feeling as of next to my parents passing , my WH’s infidelity is one of my darkest time . It’s been 7 months past but I am still trying to heal and still not able to focus on R. Is this normal ?

43 comments posted: Wednesday, March 9th, 2022

Moved Mountains . What did the WS do?

Hello , I am new here but I visit this forum a lot . I realized that this is the best site to get tons of advice and I do need it ! I am still very confused about how and what to do to heal and reconcile . My husband cheated on me starting in November 2020 and it lasted for 5.5 months, when I caught the AP texted to him and my world just fell apart. We are trying for a reconciliation , although I am not really healed yet .
I read a lot over here, how the WS "moved mountains " to really help the BS heal and reconcile. Can you help me articulate some pointers regarding what the WS should do to really be an active partner in reconciliation and "move mountains" ?

I feel as of my WS does not do too much, except for no contact and sending the AP a no contact message. He insists that he has been doing a lot and is getting a bit frustrated with the time I need to heal .

36 comments posted: Sunday, February 13th, 2022