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General :
God didn’t bring you together, Facebook did

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 landclark (original poster member #70659) posted at 9:46 PM on Sunday, May 1st, 2022

I was just thinking of some of the stupid things my WH and first AP said to each other, and this is right up there. "God brought us together!"

They "found each other" on Facebook after 30 or so years. Considering the popularity of Facebook 10 years ago and the number of people on it, hardly an act of God, and certainly not fate.

Just a beautiful Sunday, thinking about the dumb things they said to each other to justify what they were doing. I wonder if he ever thinks back now and realizes how stupid it was.

Me: BW Him: WH (GuiltAndShame) Dday 05/19/19 TT through August
One child together, 3 stepchildrenTogether 13.5 years, married 12.5

First EA 4 months into marriage. Last ended 05/19/19. *ETA, contd an ea after dday for 2 yrs.

posts: 2017   ·   registered: May. 29th, 2019
id 8733057
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 9:59 PM on Sunday, May 1st, 2022

Pretty sure God doesn't bring people together to cheat.

OW posted some scrap after their A ended about if God brought you to it he will bring you through it. Same idea. No you idiot, He didn't bring to to a married father to cheat.

Facebook on the other hand does not care if yoh cheat.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 2759   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8733059
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Bingo ( member #72835) posted at 12:15 AM on Monday, May 2nd, 2022

My ex's AP was super religious. My ex was "trying" to end contact with her because "she wanted me to adopt her faith and I just couldn't do that." That was the only red flag he ever mentioned....

Guess he got over that one because now they're living together.. rolleyes

posts: 123   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2020   ·   location: Indiana
id 8733069
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Twicecrushed ( member #50258) posted at 12:24 AM on Monday, May 2nd, 2022

The princess did not say this to me directly, she wrote it in an email to assclown 7 years ago on Easter Sunday (I found her secret email and changed her password to lock her out! laugh

"As I sat in church today with TC and DD'S, I thanked God for bringing you back into my life"

I'm pretty sure God did not see it that way!

Me-BH 50
The Princess-WW 47
Married 23 years
2 DDs 14 and 11
1st DDday June 1998 - 2.5 year PA
2nd DDay April 2015 - 3 month PA
False R for 13 months the A never ended, just deep underground.
Divorced 8-31-2017

posts: 195   ·   registered: Nov. 6th, 2015   ·   location: Louisiana
id 8733072
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 1:27 AM on Monday, May 2nd, 2022

Isn’t this the ultimate "taking the Lords name in vain"?

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH 55 WW 48 M 31 years, 4 kids 2 grown 2 grandkids

posts: 1377   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8733080
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DailyGratitude ( member #79494) posted at 2:10 AM on Monday, May 2nd, 2022

"Thank you God for helping me to sin and destroy my spouse and children who will be devastated for the rest of their lives"
No. Don’t think so.
God clearly says the he will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral.

posts: 211   ·   registered: Oct. 17th, 2021   ·   location: Connecticut
id 8733087
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pureheartkit ( member #62345) posted at 2:45 AM on Monday, May 2nd, 2022

What about resisting temptation? Aren't we all supposed to be focused on that?

Thank you everyone for your wisdom and healing.

posts: 2322   ·   registered: Jan. 19th, 2018
id 8733093
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 landclark (original poster member #70659) posted at 3:41 AM on Monday, May 2nd, 2022

Isn’t this the ultimate "taking the Lords name in vain"?

"Thank you God for helping me to sin and destroy my spouse and children who will be devastated for the rest of their lives"

Pretty much. They talked so much about God. God was guiding them, it was all God’s plan. Umm, no.

Me: BW Him: WH (GuiltAndShame) Dday 05/19/19 TT through August
One child together, 3 stepchildrenTogether 13.5 years, married 12.5

First EA 4 months into marriage. Last ended 05/19/19. *ETA, contd an ea after dday for 2 yrs.

posts: 2017   ·   registered: May. 29th, 2019
id 8733103
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jb3199 ( member #27673) posted at 11:28 AM on Monday, May 2nd, 2022

Twin Flames; Soulmates; Divine Intervention. Many people need to romance the hell out of meeting/being with their partner.

In all fairness, I'm sure I used the term 'soulmates' in my relationship with my wife.

I'm 100% sure that I have NOT used that term since 2009. Doesn't mean that I don't have a good marriage today; it just means that I grew up a lot in the last decade......

BH-50s
WW-50s
2 boys
Married almost 30yrs.

All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day(s): Enough
Accepting that I can/may end this marriage 7/2/14

posts: 4012   ·   registered: Feb. 21st, 2010   ·   location: northeast
id 8733111
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 1:38 PM on Monday, May 2nd, 2022

When people use God to justify their behavior then they are deluding themselves and using religion to justify their choices, and that just makes it worse.

Lie and cheat all you want but please don’t think God condones this.

That is as bad as blaming the betrayed spouse for the affair (imo).

Sometimes I think you meet people for a reason. Cheating is NOT a reason you meet someone. It’s not karma or a sign or whatever.

And BTW the loser you knew in High School is most likely the same loser today. Just older.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 11852   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8733121
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 1:38 PM on Monday, May 2nd, 2022

"Everything fell into place...like it was meant to be". These were the words my H told me on Dday regarding his A. These were the SAME words WE used to say when we felt Divine Intervention HELPED us in some way. My H told me that when all of these things just fell into place...like it was meant to be...that he felt God was CONDONING his A duh .

I lost my faith in God when my H said that to me crying . HOW COULD GOD DO THIS TO ME???!!! I got so ANGRY...at God!!!

After Dday...when my H was giving me his verbal timeline...I started to realize that things actually did NOT fall into place. There were roadblocks EVERYWHERE rolleyes !!!

I then felt such SHAME and GUILT for believing that God would EVER condone any A sad . Thank God He forgave me and gave me another second chance smile .

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6031   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8733122
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PSTI ( member #53103) posted at 3:53 PM on Monday, May 2nd, 2022

I'm not religious, but man that even feels gross to me.

Me: BW, my xH left me & DS after a 14 year marriage for the AP in 2014.

Happily remarried and in an open/polyamorous relationship. DH (married 4 years) & DBF (dating 3 years). Cohabitating happily all together!! <3

posts: 812   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2016
id 8733141
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 4:06 PM on Monday, May 2nd, 2022

"And BTW the loser you knew in High School is most likely the same loser today. Just older."

This made me laugh!!!

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 2759   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8733146
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 landclark (original poster member #70659) posted at 5:06 PM on Monday, May 2nd, 2022

And BTW the loser you knew in High School is most likely the same loser today. Just older.

That’s the other funny thing. She had no interest in him in high school or college, but when they reconnected her yearbook words meant so much more and she was so hoping he’d read into them and find her and rescue her. Talk about rewriting history. laugh

Yeah, PSTI, I am not either and whenever WH talks to our son about God, I always wonder if he realizes how hypocritical it is.

[This message edited by landclark at 5:07 PM, Monday, May 2nd]

Me: BW Him: WH (GuiltAndShame) Dday 05/19/19 TT through August
One child together, 3 stepchildrenTogether 13.5 years, married 12.5

First EA 4 months into marriage. Last ended 05/19/19. *ETA, contd an ea after dday for 2 yrs.

posts: 2017   ·   registered: May. 29th, 2019
id 8733150
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 1:51 AM on Tuesday, May 3rd, 2022

Glad to add some humor. 😂😃

Some days you just need a good laugh

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 11852   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8733214
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:41 PM on Tuesday, May 3rd, 2022

Your title for this thread makes me laugh every time I see it. Thanks.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 27082   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8733336
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 landclark (original poster member #70659) posted at 3:51 AM on Wednesday, May 4th, 2022

Lol. Glad I could add some humor to the day. :)

Me: BW Him: WH (GuiltAndShame) Dday 05/19/19 TT through August
One child together, 3 stepchildrenTogether 13.5 years, married 12.5

First EA 4 months into marriage. Last ended 05/19/19. *ETA, contd an ea after dday for 2 yrs.

posts: 2017   ·   registered: May. 29th, 2019
id 8733474
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morningglory ( member #80236) posted at 9:41 AM on Thursday, May 5th, 2022

Didn't he listen to his marriage vows? "He whom God has joined together, let no man put asunder." God himself would never tear someone's marriage apart.

I've heard about a lot of blame-shifting from WSs. Blaming God takes the cake.

posts: 168   ·   registered: Apr. 15th, 2022
id 8733652
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 2:10 PM on Thursday, May 5th, 2022

God will never answer your prayers,in the form of another woman's husband.

posts: 4332   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8733666
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TheLostOne2020 ( member #72463) posted at 5:50 PM on Thursday, May 5th, 2022

Okay, I'm an atheist so take this with a grain of salt, but IIRC the popular religions (Judaism, Christianity, Islam) all have prescriptions against adultery. It's a sin in all three faiths - it's probably a sin in others as well.

God would not tempt people to sin/offend him.

That's the other guy they're thinking of, the one with the horns and pitchfork.

D-Day 1: New Year's Day 2020
D-Day 2: Jan 21 2020
There was no D-Day 3.

6/12/2020: Moved out.

3/02/2021: Officially divorced.

I'm 43 and just starting to have the answers to the universe...

posts: 896   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2020   ·   location: NoVa
id 8733699
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