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My Grandma who was the most amazing person ever, had only a 3rd grade education but she always was willing to learn new skills and had a bunch of what we refer to as Grandmaisms

1. They will glad in the same britches they got mad in. Always when you were worried about upsetting someone else.

2. Be really upset by something...."Shit a green monkey"

3. If we teased her to the point of aggravation she would show us her fist and say "See this I got another one" which was hysterical because she was barely 5 foot tall and weighed about 100 lbs.

Good decisions come from experience

Experience comes from bad decisions

The one that jumps to my mind is something my maternal grandmother would say to describe someone who looked unhealthy-skinny. "Poor (but pronounced "pore") as Job's turkey."

Mimi used to say let’s have a snickle snackle and then we’d get a treat.

Tush, great topic!

I feel so fortunate because we actually have three long-running videos of my grandma, with all her mountain stories. She had 10 children, some of them she was by herself giving birth at home. My Grandfather was a n'er do well, a moon-shiner - and the only thing he was great at was making beautiful babies and excellent, illegal whiskey. But she loved him until the end.

If she was talking about someone running away from something she'd say .... "Boy! He sure hooked up to the ankle wagon!"

She gave birth to 8 boys and 2 girls. NINE were born at home but she went to the hospital to have the final baby. She was used to ZERO pre-natal care but still managed to have all healthy babies. A miracle.

She got talked into going into the hospital to give birth for the final baby. She said they started to examine her and that included a rectal exam. She said ..

"If you think this baby is coning out back there, I'm in the wrong place!"

I never knew any of my grandparents but my mother had a plethora of sayings. When someone knew a lot about a topic, she'd say they knew their onions. I said that to someone not long ago and they had no idea what I meant. lol

"This world and one more."
About the world being such a mess.

""They get each other where I come from."
When someone says they are going to get you.

"You’re old enough that your wants won’t hurt ya."
You’ll get over it if you don’t get everything you want.

"I’ve enjoyed about as much of this as I can stand."
When you’re not having a good time.

"If you’re staying up with me, I’m better."
When you have company any you are wanting to go to bed.

I’ll stop now, but I have tons of these!!!

Pin a rose on your nose! (Well didnt you do something great!)

Ill put a bug in his/ her/ their ear (tell someone to do something)

Well, that person sure has a bee in their bonnet! (Mad)

Love this topic! Brings back such funny memories. My Grandmother smoked unfiltered cigarettes (Pall Mall), chewed Red Man Tobacco and dipped Garret Snuff out of the glass -- and used the glasses later for her great Iced Tea. She had these "habits' until she died at age 98. She used to say she was a 'tough old bird' and I guess she was. When she went to the nursing home near me, I'd visit her at least every other day and she'd ask me to bring onion rings and a malt from Sonic to her. Then she started asking me to bring 'extra' onion rings to share with her friends there. Once the resident doctor told me the onion rings weren't good for her. I told him she was 95 years old (at that time) and I planned to get her what she wanted to eat. She was dearly loved at the nursing home and she talked them into turning the beauty shop area into a smoking area. I couldn't believe it!

The nursing home called me and said they had sent her by ambulance to the ER so I rushed there. They admitted her for observation. I asked her what was wrong with her ... and she said .."Aww baby, I think I am just tired of living" and she went to sleep and didn't wake up. I still miss her very much. She used to say she lived so long because her birthday was Dec. 7th and that date got 'bombed off the calendar' with Pearl Harbor so she just celebrated every other year. So she said she really wasn't 'that old.'

My Grandfather

"You can’t out run a bear, just make sure you can out run the slowest person".

Jeanie I'm sure that was hard for you, she sounds amazing like my Gma.
But as someone who has been there to see people exit the realm of living I have to say the way she made her exit was amazing.

I've only heard one other person say that about "knowing their onions" has to be a farming reference.

I thought of another one today when doing some chores about the house.
My Gran was not much on housekeeping. She could make a meal out of next to nothing sew an outfit out of scraps in a few hours, and could embroider, and quilt like nobodies business.
Anyway she wasn't much for cleaning and dusting. And she would always say when she put it off..."Tomorrow is another day and it it ain't we don't need it." I love this one. Its a great life philosophy. Just like my favorite artist says in one of his songs. Tomorrow is no place to place your better days.

Jeanie, your grandma sounds wonderful!

And tush, maybe it is a farming thing but my mother grew up in San Francisco and was a total city girl. Maybe she got that saying from someone who was a farmer, though!

Wait. @HFFSC,

"Poor (but pronounced "pore")

How else is poor/pore pronounced? I'm thinking the SC in your name is the cause of my confusion, lol.

Love this topic. My grandmother was the queen of malapropisms. She'd regularly combine separate sayings into one phrase that meant nothing. "A bird in the hand is worth a pig in a poke." Stuff like that. She hated when we laughed so we'd have to run into the nearest closet so she couldn't hear it.
My dad was rather gruff in his younger years, but as he aged, he mellowed. He developed a bit of aphasia. He'd ask "what time is it?" and get mad because we answered him when he really wanted to know what was for dinner. We'd laugh, he'd laugh and it is one of my favorite memories.
Sayings developed in my family in this way. "They shot the doctor" became the phrase when someone suddenly realizes something that happened a conversation ago, but they only "got" it after we were done talking about it.
"Did it have antlers?" developed into family jargon because my younger son ALWAYS saw something spectacular out the car window when no one else did So now, if a story is being told around the dinner table, the question is voiced by one of us.

Whenever one of my sisters or I would do something without really thinking it through and it would come back to bite us in the butt my Dad would say "That was a half-baked idea."

..never knew my grandfathers...one kicked by a horse and died, the other ran off with his secretary, leaving my dad and his brother to fend for themselves with their mother. Both grandmas were old and did not play a big role in our family dynamics. My dad's mom was in a 'home for the elderly'...my mom's mom lived with my mom's brother and wife. We didn't see her much. (Lived 60 miles away.

It was my mother who had all the funny quips and sayings!! Like: ..when we asked her "What's for dinner Mom?" She would respond with..."Pig shit shavings and whipped up farts! She would mumble the swear words 'shit and fart' but we all knew what she meant!! I would do anything to hear her say it again.

Hey mom, what are we having for dinner tonight??? -----------

smy

when we asked her "What's for dinner Mom?" She would respond with..."Pig shit shavings and whipped up farts!

See I cant say stuff like that because my kids are literal to a fault and would assume I was feeding them actually pig shit....

A few from my grandma:

"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes"

Whenever we would ask her where we were going she would respond with "straight to hell if we don't change our ways"

and she regularly referred to my grandpa as a "pecker-head" this is a word I still use sometimes and it always makes me giggle!

We often went on day road trips. My dad would just start driving and head for the rural roads. My twin sister and I would count stump fences, etc to break up the boredom of this seemingly aimless drive. But, in retrospect, these little road trips provided wonderful memories.
My Dad's favourite expression to indicate it was time to get in the car: All set for Saratigay! (no idea what it meant and I still don't!)

If we wanted to know where something was, his answer was, "Up in Maggie's room behind the clock!"

Both from my mother who passed away three weeks ago.

For the procrastinators....shit or get off the pot.

"My give a damn is busted".