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Newest Member: weirdsituation

Divorce/Separation :
Stay No Contact - Post It Here 2

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Chili ( member #35503) posted at 3:41 AM on Wednesday, November 23rd, 2022

You piece of shit. How's the new quickie marriage thing of yours going? Apparently it's another shit-show. Did you know your kid is reaching out to me? Rock on with your avoidant self. Such a waste. Idiot.

2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Took off flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett

posts: 2228   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: Reality
id 8766399
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Summertime22 ( member #79796) posted at 1:47 AM on Friday, November 25th, 2022

I thought I was so over us, so over what you did, cheating while trying to get me pregnant. Leaving me to be with her while I was left alone, betrayed and scared. Left alone to do a pregnancy test while you went to the OW. I was so scared, but I didn’t feel strong enough to call you out. To make you accountable for your disgusting actions. If I had that time over again I would have made you come to me to take that pregnancy test together, so you could have seen the state you left me in. Instead of getting away with it all Scott free. You were probably having sex with her while I was using pregnancy tests.

I am so much better now. Stronger. Not having suicidal ideation. No thanks to you. You POS.

Every time I think I’m healed, I get a nightmare or a trigger. It’s the betrayal that never leaves me. And now she’s pregnant and due early next year- I block it out.

Today I opened my Xmas decorations, yet another trigger. Last Xmas we were so happy- so I thought. But you were cheating.

I hope you are suffering. I hope you are unhappy.

posts: 231   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2022   ·   location: UK
id 8766635
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LearningToJoy ( new member #80732) posted at 9:21 PM on Sunday, January 22nd, 2023

Are you happy? Was all of the pain and tears and ripping my guts out worth whatever you got out of it?
Logic says why do I think I'm not enough because of the way a cheater and liar like you treated me? My own husband for 24 years.
Pain says I'm not enough. I always suspected it, and now there's proof, especially due to your LTA and repeated choices to leave.
I don't want you now, but I wanted the you I had before.
Now I don't want anything, except not to feel this.

posts: 10   ·   registered: Aug. 26th, 2022   ·   location: WA
id 8774323
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FuturewasStolen ( member #74119) posted at 12:17 AM on Friday, January 27th, 2023

You disgust me and I don't want our boys to be anything like you.

Me: BW (33) Him: WH (34) Married 6 years Dday 1: 2/25/20 Affair for 1 year; Started R for real: 6/1/20 Three boys together: 5, 4, 2 Dday 2: 11/28/21 Affair for 6 months Don't know how many other girls he was "just talking to"

posts: 115   ·   registered: Mar. 30th, 2020   ·   location: Michigan
id 8774830
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Helena67 ( member #80506) posted at 6:09 PM on Friday, January 27th, 2023

You wan’t to know how I am? How do you think I am? You cheated on me! And then you choose her! I’m hurting! After one year I’m still hurting! You broke my heart. You took my best friend, you took my lover, you took my family, you took everything from me. The only thing I did was loving you. Taking care of our children. Taking care of us!
I hope one day you will realize what you had and what you threw away.

BS (me) 55 years; WS 54 years. Divorcing. Almost there!

posts: 110   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2022   ·   location: The Netherlands
id 8775013
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FuturewasStolen ( member #74119) posted at 4:10 PM on Monday, February 13th, 2023

I hate you.

Me: BW (33) Him: WH (34) Married 6 years Dday 1: 2/25/20 Affair for 1 year; Started R for real: 6/1/20 Three boys together: 5, 4, 2 Dday 2: 11/28/21 Affair for 6 months Don't know how many other girls he was "just talking to"

posts: 115   ·   registered: Mar. 30th, 2020   ·   location: Michigan
id 8777504
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 5:33 AM on Tuesday, February 14th, 2023

Yesterday was your birthday and I had to remind your adult children. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Remembering the special times I planned, even though you didn't reciprocate. You are a douche.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 2685   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8777598
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HeartbreakInHawaii ( new member #80401) posted at 5:11 AM on Friday, February 17th, 2023

I know you are creating new social media profiles, searching me out and blocking me. Even though I blocked you on everything last September and have been NC ever since. I know this because I am smarter than you. That's how I caught you in the first place, fuckwad.

That you think I would ever lower myself to message you. Or maybe you just want to be able to operate online without any familiar eyes on you? Either way, glad to know I'm still in your head. And I hope you feel like the piece of shit you are every time I run across your mind. Though please kindly FUCK OFF so I can stop getting notifications about you viewing my profile. barf

posts: 29   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2022   ·   location: Canada
id 8778101
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Scattercushion ( new member #81001) posted at 9:46 AM on Thursday, February 23rd, 2023

I miss you

I’m in the UK for heart tests. I’m about to go to the hospital and I’m a bit scared. I want you next to me telling me it will be ok but you are with her and don’t know the anxiety I’m feeling.

Why oh why did you do it, why didn’t you fight for us. I know you would never answer this truthfully but I’d still like to ask even though I’m just wasting my time.

posts: 37   ·   registered: Sep. 27th, 2022   ·   location: Spain
id 8778965
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Notagain6526 ( new member #82911) posted at 2:14 PM on Thursday, February 23rd, 2023

I hate you. I will bring our children up to be absolutely nothing like you.

Why didn't you let me go 10years ago? You will not break me.

posts: 41   ·   registered: Feb. 21st, 2023
id 8778975
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Scattercushion ( new member #81001) posted at 7:20 AM on Friday, February 24th, 2023

I’m fine. Tests all went ok.

I don’t need you next to me I’m doing perfectly without you. There are many other people who genuinely love and care about me.

Now provide the info so our divorce can proceed and I can fully move on. You can only ignore it for so long

posts: 37   ·   registered: Sep. 27th, 2022   ·   location: Spain
id 8779090
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Notagain6526 ( new member #82911) posted at 10:39 PM on Saturday, February 25th, 2023

What gave you the right to think you could do this to me again?

Was I not clear and firm enough the last time that I would not tolerate it.

Like your mother you're fundamentally flawed. Go to hell.

posts: 41   ·   registered: Feb. 21st, 2023
id 8779408
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Notagain6526 ( new member #82911) posted at 6:40 AM on Tuesday, March 7th, 2023

I hate you.

Baby has been up most of the night. We all have this flu. I have to work with no sleep.

In the middle of night I have the anger of what you did, small details of your actions pop into my head. I then panic you could possibly be spending night with someone else while I nurse our baby - what's new with that though.

I fucking hate you.

posts: 41   ·   registered: Feb. 21st, 2023
id 8781102
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 10:29 PM on Tuesday, March 7th, 2023

You have made my life a living hell. Not even in divorce can I get away from you you have to continue your abhorrent behavior through the kids. I honestly wish you would die it would make all of our lives a lot easier.

fBS/fWS(me):50 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(20) DS(17)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorcing

posts: 8564   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8781212
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Notagain6526 ( new member #82911) posted at 9:29 AM on Thursday, March 9th, 2023

I want to send you pictures of our beautiful baby. She's an absolute joy. Then I remember you left us while she was newborn to sleep with that whore. You told her you didn't want the baby.

You deserve nothing. You might try and reinvent yourself to those around you that you're a good dad but your character hasn't changed. You said you get upset seeing your children's faces and what you've done.

Be more afraid of how they look at you as grown woman - you will be everything they avoid in future partners I'll make sure of it.

[This message edited by Notagain6526 at 9:40 AM, Thursday, March 9th]

posts: 41   ·   registered: Feb. 21st, 2023
id 8781366
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HotPinkFlairPen ( new member #82968) posted at 1:52 PM on Sunday, March 19th, 2023

Dear friend,

I pity you. You can't take care of yourself--you spend all of your time taking care of your lies. You spend your energy crafting individualized versions of the truth for everyone in your life. You are so fixated on hiding your true self that you've ultimately lost yourself. Mission accomplished, I guess.

You probably don't need to be told this, but nobody in my circle of support is going to fall for your lies anymore. They know the score. They know that you, fully aware of the harm your affair caused your family, the OW's family, were trying to start it up again. Four little children had been hurt and would have been hurt again, yet you charged ahead anyway. Bless your AP for doing the right thing when you broke NC. Bless her for giving your sinister, conspiratorial message to her husband, and bless him for passing it along to the people who would make sure I knew what you had done so I could protect myself and my sons.

Your AP is so done with you. She is doing the real work of R. I just know she regrets anything she had to do with you, not only because the shame of being a WS follows you for life, but because you are a horrible person. I'm glad she can cut you out completely. I envy her that. I don't envy the shame she's brought on herself, and how that must be compounded now that she knows that you are a fundamentally a liar, a slimeball, a deeply selfish child who masquerades as a man. She is your ex-AP. That partnership is utterly dissolved. Even she knows the score. She used you as a pawn, a human dildo, and even she sees that you weren't much good for those things. You are even less than how she initially saw you, and she clearly didn't see you as a man of integrity when she offered to start the affair.

Never ever tell me that our sons are your whole world. That is bullshit. You did not have any interest in nurturing our beautiful boys. You only paid lip-service to the idea after DDay. You are using two precious, innocent lives to spin yet another narrative, to sell your victimhood to your next crop of enablers. That's so despicable. Your son's face was the background for all your WhatsApp messages. His beautiful eyes stared right at you while you dove headfirst into emotional infidelity and later when you would spend hours composing sexually explicit messages to her. You ignored him because he didn't serve you in those moments. Now that they can give you credibility, you are obsessed. I'm not fooled. You do not love your sons. You have failed to protect them. I will fight as hard as I need to protect them from you.

You are not better off without me, because you are incapable of bringing yourself to the place of "better." You are a toxic human who adds poison to everything you touch. You chose to be that person. You chose it over and again. You chose it last week. You will almost certainly choose it today and tomorrow as well.

If you find yourself at a point where your good choices outnumber your bad, I will be curious to see what kind of person you really are. What you actually think, feel, enjoy, when you are not trying to embellish and lie and hide. I am also curious what it's like to be inside the International Space Station, or to ride on a blue whale's back while it ascends into the depths. Realistically, I'll probably never know any of those things.

If you refuse recovery and keep adding gasoline to the trashfire of your life, you're probably going to die. Don't worry, I'll make sure that the boys have strong male role-models. I'll think of a kid-friendly way to share how sick you were.

Sorry that infidelity is one of your addictions now. My guess is that you'll be tempted by meth next. That's some scary stuff. Good luck not dying.

With all sincerity,
Your recovering codependent

BW, 34 years old, married 10 years. Twin sons born 2021.

Dday 1: 2/16/23. Dday 2: 3/16/23 (STBXWH tried to rekindle A, AP sent NC). Dday 3: 8/20/23 (new AP, same bulls***)

posts: 35   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2023   ·   location: Back to the US after 10ish years abroad
id 8783003
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Helena67 ( member #80506) posted at 6:46 AM on Sunday, May 7th, 2023

Congratulations with our 25 years anniversary. I hope you have a wonderfull day with your AP.

BS (me) 55 years; WS 54 years. Divorcing. Almost there!

posts: 110   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2022   ·   location: The Netherlands
id 8789949
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doublerainbow ( member #82239) posted at 1:41 AM on Tuesday, May 9th, 2023

I can't wait to see you spiral when you find out exactly how much I know. You might have burned me with your lies but I'm about to set your ass on fire.

You want our kid? Better kill yourself first.

You want the house? Maybe (and only maybe) if you officially change your name to ASSBAG and wear a nametag saying "CHEATING HUSBAND" everywhere you go.

You want money? Your unremorseful bitch of a mother better die a painful death.

And if I ever find out even an iota of any negative impact your moral bankruptcy causes in our beautiful, wonderful, wise-beyond-her-years daughter, be sure I will completely annihilate you. That is, if they haven't named a tornado after me yet.

When I'm done with you in court, you're going to be even less of a human shell then when we started.

BRING IT.

Me: BS (38) Him: WS (45) D-Day (Jan 2022), going through D. 1 DD age 4. Just want to know there’s light at the end of this mess.

posts: 67   ·   registered: Oct. 26th, 2022   ·   location: West Coast
id 8790154
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Hurthalo ( member #41782) posted at 1:40 PM on Friday, May 12th, 2023

You piece of utterly broken detritis. You exposed me to two years of potential sexual disease while I dutifully stayed home and manned the fort with three children under 10 while you went off and furthered your career. I feel bad that I enabled your sense of new found freedom by making the mistake of thinking you'd be thankful for me sacrificing my own mental health to hold down a high six figures job, while keeping myself fit, doing all the cooking, doing all the household chores, running our finances, keeping the house in tip-top condition, and running our oldest daughter to all of her dance committments...practically as a single Dad during a pandemic. I ended up in hospital at the end thinking I was having a heart attack trying to hold everything together while you were off on Defence course after Defence course, living your best free life. Turns out while I was breaking down, you were rehearsing your new life without responsibility. My 'heart attack' was actually a panic attack; I'd never had one before, and at the time I didn't know why I was having one. I would soon find out months later when it turned out you'd been fucking your polyamorous wokmate for 1.5 years behind my back. Evidently my body kept score, even if my head didn't.

I actually think at times that I should have been like the lazy husbands your 'friends' used to moan about; I realise now that if I'd have just come home everyday and kicked my feet up and not lifted a finger to help, the outcome would have been the same anyway. It makes me laugh that in light of their own husbands being complete screw-ups; with one cheating on his wife, the other walking out with nary a word, and the other not having ever changed a nappy; the worst you could level at me to your fellow divorced/dysfunctional marriage friends was that 'he assembled an office chair in the lounge room after work one time'. You were living on easy street. And still you found something to complain about to demonise me.

And to find out you moved onto ANOTHER married workmate two months later when the first AP ditched you for one of his other girlfriends. Wow. Breaking up families for you by that point had evidently become a sick hobby. THREE marriages in tatters, FOUR kids with broken homes, with YOU as the common denominator.

You bitched about how family life was cramping your sense of freedom. Now you have the paunch, grey haired philanderer of an AP as your new b/f, and now you've gained his son as well. I daresay it won't be for long though; especially when you told our MC that you had NEVER had a relationship that you hadn't cheated in. A leopard doesn't change its spots at 40.

As for me? I'm doing great thanks. In the best shape of my life, earning triple your income, and dating a stunning girl 8 years my junior who adores our girls and absolutely abhors cheaters having had a parent who had also cheated. She's 10x anything you are. She actually likes my hobbies. She's watched more of my hockey games in six months than you watched in 10 years.

You could have had it all. You threw it away. I know you aren't doing well, I know you go to bed and cry for what you've lost. I know the month you suddenly took off work wasn't for holidays, you had a near breakdown.

But as you're now finding out, the dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Good luck with the philanderer, I'm sure it's a match made in heaven and it will be rock solid.

[This message edited by Hurthalo at 1:41 PM, Friday, May 12th]

posts: 282   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2013   ·   location: Australia
id 8790566
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Crazytrain101 ( member #48200) posted at 11:43 PM on Tuesday, May 16th, 2023

I don't even know where to begin with the rage I'm feeling right now. Our daughter had to find out in the midst of this mess about a half sister you gave up for adoption that goes to her high school!

You think in your sociopathic narc self you are above all the laws of society--anounce your "getting married" as soon as your divorce is final, well I guess since you dated all of marriage your "ready" to settle down! What the acual F***

Your keeping and brainwashing my son against me for your own gain. He's the one who suffers. No one matters in your world but you, your wants, your desires, what you think your owed from this world.

I truly believe that the laws lof good and evil will prevail sometime and I'll be waiting for your demise.

8 years ago-found out he was a serial cheater-Reconciled-2015 Back again September 2022 as WH is a cheater again Heading to Divorce

posts: 1848   ·   registered: Jun. 10th, 2015   ·   location: Ohio
id 8791146
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