Newest Member: Unsureofhope


6 years ago-found out he was a serial cheaterReconciled-2015 Back again September 2022 as WH is a cheater again Heading to Divorce

Preparing for battle in the strange calm in my house

Hi everyone, my fisrt D-Day was in 2015, mutiple AP's (over 13 crying ) I filed for D and with the WH andchose R of my youngest stayed married but only a post-nuptial infidelity agreement. Now here again D-Day 2 weeks ago. We have just started the D.

I have a great attorney, have created an email with loads of infidelity evidence, nudes of himself, hotel get my point. Undeniable proof that I'm still sure my WH will deny. I have two AP's willing to come testify about the affair.

I met with my attorney to go over everything, yes the post-nuptial will hold up. He's required to pay on the house until my youngest is 18 (5 years), attorney fees, alimony, a lot of financially devastating stuff. I'm planning on building the best case for me to have primary custody and him visitation and have lots to prove that I am the best option.

My WH hasn't been told as of yet, my cheating WH told his attorney I was having an affair laugh (the 75/25 split also goes against me if were to have cheated). I included that so the post-nuptial was fair.

Things are strangely quiet at the house since I haven't been able to get him out, we don't speak to each other but very weird. A few backhanded remarks by him but overall quiet.

My WH is very money orientated, and unstable and I firmly believe this is the calm before the storm approaching. My kids start IC today so I'm hoping they can start to heal through this.

Has anyone experienced this before a fall out? Things are just too stangely calm for me to believe this is going to continue for an extended amount of time.

89 comments posted: Wednesday, September 28th, 2022

Apparently my son knew of my WH's cheating for 4 months

Hi again everyone,
So a slight revelation since my d-day about 8 days ago, my son (14) said I quote "Dad's been getting away with it for 4 months"...heartbreaking for him.

I've noticed a lot of anger from my son and he was being disrespectful to me out of the blue, has anyone had expereince in navigating a situation in which a young teen had to keep his WH/WW's secrets?

He does start therapy Wednesday but I wonder what else I can do, his heart is so broken. We are divorcing and althoguh my WH wants full custody (completly crazy since he really does zero parenting) BUT since the divorce is proceeding (i'll be using my post-nuptial with fidelity clause for sure) he's literally been MIA.

He's out ALL the time, not interested in taking the kids to their sports, to school, basically has dumped their care 100% in my lap (minus the little he did before).

I'm at a loss, If I were trying to get custody or even care for my kids like I do in this situation I would be showing them I can be a good parent.

I have to believe WH is not out patrolling new women with the post-nuptial on the table--I mean I'm sure we will have a hearing, proof will be brought to court and the proponderance of it all settled on--why risk getting anymore of his hands dirty. I know I'm trying to figure out a sociopath at this point, so maybe this is more of a vent but I just don't know what gives with my WH?

10 comments posted: Sunday, September 25th, 2022

Found out 6 years ago he was a serial cheater--reconciled, now back again

Hi everyone,
This forum was my lifesaver in 2015. I randomly found out about 1 supposed OP with my WH and prior to the polygraph (THANK YOU SI) it was 13 OW shocked . Some craigslist, some ex-girlfriends, some he used his business to predatorize (he's a contractor)

Well, I had 2 young kids, was a stay at home mom and just decided after him begging to reconcile. He promised therapy, full transparency, tracking, basically the much needed open book policy.

I would not reconcile unless we had a post-nuptial agreement since I filed for divorce immediately. I spent days upon days here on SI and researching and basically helped my attorney draft up the best we could do. I had him consulkt his attorney, included in the PN that he was advised, his attorney said not to sign, he signed anyways.It gives me 75% of everything--minus his business. I get to stay in the primary residence until my youngest turns 18--he pays the mortgage.THe PN (post-nuptial) included everything from having a burner phone, being alon in a house with a woman alone, you name it--AND not exclusive for me to have a in person woman testify to him cheating--the proof could be anything really.It basically just needs to be solid.

He signed, I signed life somewhat got back to normal, I stayed home a few more years, started a flexible business and have mad been successful for the last t3 years.

Then 3 years ago, (3 years in to reconciling) he comes home with a sports car--saying he needed it to not cheat on me. Or should I say he needed the distraction from white knuckling his sick addiction. I was blown away--started backing off and watching. His buliema which was always an issue always picks up heavy when he's trying to court a new OP. NEed to slim right?!?!?

Lots of red flags, but he's a master cheater! My daughter sees him with a burner phone and he gaslights her and says she's crazy and didn't see anything.

I'm not initmate with him for sure at this pointout of safety. I see my attorney plan to file for a divorce but he beats me to it. We talked one more time and decided he would go back to full transparency, go to counseling and he would pull the divorce. I know stupid me!

Well 3 days ago a woman reaches out of a social media platform to inform me my WH has been cheating through the site with MULTIPLE woman. They all banded together and contacted me, sent me 70 screen shots of text exchanges of I love yous, sex stuff, telling them he's sterile, one thought she was pregnant, how he was divorced---naked pictures of himself--the list goes on. They were SO nice and I of course do not blame them so they have become incredible allies.

So here I am AGAIN.

Barely eating, sleepless and planning on this divorce hopefully under the steep terms of the post-nuptial with infidelity clause.

It is beyond me that he would even try to cheat again with having this in place, there;s a lot to lose and he loves his money more then women for sure.

Please excuse my ramblings and bad grammer as I am mentally a wreck, planning a battle with a sociopath and stressed beyond belief. My kids know some and are so angry he messed their family up, 12 and 13 years old.

53 comments posted: Tuesday, September 20th, 2022

I have an instant checkmate subscription and can help

Hi all, just wanted to extend a invitation to anyone who needs numbers and names checked, I have a instant checkmate subscription that gives numbers, addresses and emails and relatives.

So since I have it we might as well get my monies worth.☺️

Just pm me!

[This message edited by Crazytrain101 at 10:21 AM, July 14th (Thursday)]

5 comments posted: Thursday, July 14th, 2016

A little helpful info for iPhone users 😇

Hi all, I seem to be posting this for a few other BS's needing some help with their WS's iPhones so I thought it would be helpful to share here.

If you have access to the WS's iPhone in about less then 3 minutes you can set it up threw its own settings so that apps can't be added and deleted (a common thing for cheaters to do) also you can block porn, adult websites, even stops removing, modifying accounts in mail and contacts as well as disabling private browsing mode.

Here's how you can do it, go into general, settings, scroll down to restrictions, you'll have to enter a pin only YOU know of 4 digits.

Then you can access a screen that has a ton of choices, if you scroll mid way down that screen you'll be able to see installing new apps, and deleting new apps, slide both those bars over.

Also while stil, there you can go into the "allowed content" section and disallow anything explicit being spoke into Siri, and if you go to the websites bar you can click it and check "limit adult content" this disallows any porn, or adult websites from even being accessed and also disallows the private browsing feature.

The last thing that I suggest is to go on the same restrictions page and under "allow changes"click on accounts and and check "don't allow changes" this keeps adding, removing, or modifying accounts in mail, contacts and calendars.

Lastly I'd go to google like you were searching something and scroll WAY down to the sign in at the very bottom which in most cases is the search engine and sign in the phone with either a gmail account you have or your WS's account (might be less noticeable if they ever really paid attention to it.

Now you can search google history and log in wth the gmail and password and see everything that the phone has searched EVEN if it's been deleted on the iPhone or iPad.

Maybe this will help some people!

4 comments posted: Wednesday, June 15th, 2016

Google maps location??

Hi everyone, does anyone know why I can see what location my WH visited but not the date? It doesn't give me anything but location.

Much appreciate it!

6 comments posted: Thursday, May 19th, 2016

iPhone restructions

Hi all, I'm probably late to the game with this but just posting for anyone new. In an iPhone in general then scroll down to restrictions you can disengage the private browsing option! Also you can enter a restriction for no adult websites.

You can also block apps from being added and deleted as well. Common cheaters game as they add the app and delete it.

Also you can stop multi player games.

So in a nut shell you can stop the private browsing, stop access of porn websites and other things pretty much unknowingly. I've told my kiddos and WH that I used an online program to do it so hopefully they won't try to figure out that it's simply on their phones so they don't try and think they can undo it.

[This message edited by Crazytrain101 at 1:10 PM, May 16th (Monday)]

6 comments posted: Monday, May 16th, 2016

Found deleted photos that had names in blue boxes?

Hi all, I did Dr. Phone on WH's old android and 2 pictures came up with the women's names in an odd blue box on each. One appeared to be a full name, the other a nickname.

Is it from a dating site or hook up site that anyone knows of?

5 comments posted: Wednesday, April 6th, 2016

Anyone purchase a cell phone finder?

Hi, has anyone purchased a cell phone finder? Ive looked on some jail sites that uses them for detecting cell phones on or off. I'm looking for an easier way to find a spare phone or tracker.

Looking for anyone who has one of these and their reliability?

0 comment posted: Saturday, August 1st, 2015

Any tips for using FlexSpy on an iphone

Hi all, anyone currently using FlexSpy extreme on their WS's phone?

I'm curious how the remote photo taking and microphone work? My WH uses a otterbox holster on his phone.

Any tips?

0 comment posted: Friday, July 24th, 2015

If you want to read Verizon texts

Hi everyone. If you have verizon I've got a new way we can do it discreetly.

Go to the App Store and download the Verizon messenger app.

Step 2 put the number in when it asks you but BE SURE you have the target phone for at least 2 minutes time.

Step 3 enter the number and wait for the security code, enter the security code.

Step 4 if it's an iPhone turn off their iMessage, you don't have to do this but it interferes with what you can receive.

Step 5- delete the Verizon text with the code...duh!

Step 6- make sure you download the app on a device you don't use as much or they'll notice like an iPad or your main device just hide it over where you need to swipe it to see.

And it's all FREE the best part! If your non-iPhone users even better. You can read every message in real time.

The only thing that I haven't figured out is if we'll be able to see the detailed message if the OTHER person texting using iMessage has it on. If that's the case at least we can see what the target phone says, hopefully. Let me know if turning off iMessage is too conspicuous, I'm afraid it might be though.

4 comments posted: Monday, July 20th, 2015

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