*To anyone reading this note: It is taking all of the courage in me to finally get into words with this group what the initial betrayal of my ex-partner was, and if you have religious objections, I want you to please, PLEASE not read any further. I am still trying to heal this huge betrayalall these years later, on top of the cheating, and I just can't handle any more hate thrown my way.*
I am writing this to officially tell you goodbye. I know I did that almost 3 months ago, but I have so much more to say now that I have processed exactly what you did to me.
You know, I have dated men in the past who have been full of themselves, but I never knew the face of the true narcissist, the monster, until I met you. I could never have believed it, you seemed to adore me, you were shy and introverted, you made me believe you wanted to marry me, and have children with me. You made me believe you could accept everything about me, but it was all a LIE!
I was 42 when we met, and I never thought I would actually meet someone, get married, and have children. I was so surprised and happy to find out I was pregnant six months later. You had other ideas in mind, your reaction was despicable, telling me to "get rid of it,",you didn't think you loved me enough, that you talked about it with your friends, and they agreed you weren't in a position financially to support a child(you POS, in your true narc fashion, you made it all about YOU!).
When it was clear to me you then disappeared off the face of the earth, I made the most difficult decision of my life to end the pregnancy. I couldn't justify bringing a child into the world under these circumstances. I was in agony for the two weeks you stayed away, but you suckered me right back in with your "sweet, convincing" words, how you stayed away because you were "ashamed" of what you did, and were "scared" to reach out to me.
How we lasted another 10 years I can't even fathom. I look back now and realize the mind*uckery you subjected me to, convincing me of your "love" for me, when it is clear to me now the only person you can ever love is yourself. Ten years of my life giving to a waste of space person, a liar and a cheater, who stole my dreams of marriage and children.
Finding out you had a secret relationship behind my back for six months is all it took to finally break that trauma bond for good.
But I am stronger than you will ever know and you didn't break me for good. It is now too late for me to have children of my own, but I will eventually find my soulmate. I know, because if I, a kind, highly empathic person with everything to give, exist, then so does he.
You will find many, many others, but you will never know true soul connection like I will. And that is the saddest part.
Goodbye forever, and I really mean it when I say: good riddance to bad rubbish.
