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What is it about store mirrors? I look at myself in my home mirror. I know I'm fat, but I don't think I look gross. I look in the store mirrors and I see all the dimples and flashiness and I just want to cry. You'd think it would be beneficial for stores to have more flattering mirrors. Maybe it's the lighting?

Store lighting...is always shit. All the cellulite shows, the back fat, and belly. When I see my face in one of those mirrors, I think I look like shit rolled in skin. It’s harsh.

You would think that if stores wanted to sell more clothes they'd have better lighting and mirrors.

Supposedly the reasoning is that the lighting is meant to display the clothes. The type of lighting they use in the store makes the clothing/jewelry/shoes look the most sparkly, vibrant etc. It messes with your brain and makes you think "Oh, this is cute!" Basically, it makes you want to buy stuff. Kinda like how they pump oxygen into casinos in Vegas to make you want to stay up and gamble more.

Like have you ever bought something but then when you get it home you think to yourself, "Damn, that color did NOT look like that in the store!"?

But it definitely doesn't make it look good on your actual body! It doesn't help that most stores have their mirrors attached flat to the wall. That combined with the shitty lighting just makes me feel like death rolled over. I think everything they do with retail now is still based on old studies where they considered more what the clothes would look like, and not what would make us feel like we actually looked good in the clothes.

Now I know who to ask for fashion advice HHADL. I have lived and worked on a flatbed truck for 4+ years. I think I forgot how to be a lady.

I know the lighting/mirrors make us look shitty, but I think they are more "honest" of what I'm gonna look like wearing whatever out of the house (my home mirrors are flattering.... and it's all good until someone takes a photo and then I think WTF was I thinking wearing THAT?)

On a serious note, I am in another mood today. Maybe it's just Fridays?

Gonna go have drinks with my girls (who don't know about the A or the suicide, so always kind of weird, but they do know we are S and I assume have some ideas why).

sigh.

Enjoy your girl time gmc. That is so very important.

I fucking love Fridays.

Well, now may not make it out with the girls.

Alcoholic DD (30-day driver license suspension began this week) got cut early.

Yesterday I agreed to give her a ride from job 1 to job 2.

Stupid codependent mom that I am.

Grrrrrr.

Yes, GMC, enjoy your time.

I look good in the dress. It covers all my dimples and sagging skin. 😁

I'm the same way with photos. I hate the way I look in them. I always think I look better in the mirror. I might try the suct tape thing. It kind of scares me.

I, honestly, don't care about my nipples poking through. I don't understand why covering them up is a thing. That's one reason I don't wear regular bras. They all come padded. I know some 9f them say "lined". To me, that's just thinner padding. It annoys me.

Didn't I tell you all about yelling, "I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MY NIPPLES" while my teenager was on snapchat? Whoever he was chatting with heard me. 🤣

I'm cynical about men, too. A friend dated a man recently who said he was going through a divorce. I immediately asked if she verified that with his wife.

I never wear a "lined" bra.

My only "hangup" about my nipples is that after nursing kids one is slightly higher than the other. Can't have the world looking at me with their head cocked because my nipples are uneven and they are trying to maintain "eye contact"

OMG so glad I put the drink down this time... ROFL over here

Teal shoes - umm Amazon. You can find everything on amazon. My only prob with shoes on amazon is that I have wide feet and can't tell if fit will be ok unless reviews say so. Just food for thought. Coco your comment about your curves cracked me up - I always said that yeah I was curvy, just my curves all went in the wrong direction LOL

I go braless whenever I can, but for work it would just feel weird. Plus I have piercings, so nippage is pretty prominent unless the shirt somehow conceals it. I have a few that do thankfully, and love wearing those during the summertime. So glad I am not a fancy dresser. Way to many undergarments to fuss around with.

And yeah, any excuse I have to sparkle the shit out of something I will take it. Douche wouldn't let me a buy a bedazzler, so maybe will have to get one of those I am such a dorkfish, I already started drawing out ideas for drink markers. And trying to decide what color my nails would be for our trip. Please pretty please let's make this happen!

Happy farking Friday!

Did you know that divorce and being single are fuckin expensive?? Ugh. But had a dream last night involving humans and guns and woke up this morning remembering I had my .38 and that I don't want it cus asshat bought it for me. So went to gun shop and sold it back. Still broke AF, but at least have cash for groceries and smokes for the next 2 weeks. Been wanting to try quitting again, but right now I feel like that would put my annoying coworkers and shitty drivers in mortal peril, so gonna try after new years I think.

My yoga class was canceled. Not enough people registered.

My nipples are quite large and prominent after nursing 4 kids. It used to bother me. I'm too old to care anymore.

Oh, crap, gmc. We must've posted at the same time before. Can you tell her to take a bus or something?

Shit rolled in skin?

Did you see Cheater’s OWs?

Do any of you know what driving on I4 in Orlando is like? It’s like Mad Max savagery.

I blew my tire on I4 today, sat on a narrow shoulder and waited an hour for the Road Rangers to come change it. I can change my tire myself, but narrow shoulder+ 80mph drivers- nope

It was free, so I let them do it.

Now I’m out $250 for a new tire. Thankfully, my rim is fine.

P.S. I used the words BLOW and RIM. In this post.

My mind went there immediately.

Did you know that divorce and being single are fuckin expensive??

Amen! I looooooove paying $1975 a month in rent by myself

Oh, and don't forget the $1200 a month out of pocket for intense trauma therapy!

Yesterday I agreed to give her a ride from job 1 to job 2.

Stupid codependent mom that I am.

Change that to loving, codependent mom. Yes, you're right, we're supposed to let them feel the consequences of their decisions. But I would also like for them to know they can call me and ask for help. Better that than her getting frustrated because she doesn't have a ride, but too embarrassed or ashamed to ask you for one, then ending up taking that shame in and beginning to drink again. It's a fine line to walk, because yes they need to learn to take care of themselves, but they also need to learn that they are not an island, shame does not have to lead to negative coping behaviors, and it's ok to ask for help. Just my two cents. You're a fabulous mom

Can't have the world looking at me with their head cocked because my nipples are uneven and they are trying to maintain "eye contact"

Too funny Chaos!

"I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MY NIPPLES"

Annnnnnd coco just came up with our BWz motto... or at the very least a great t-shirt/bumper sticker idea. Sorry about the cancelled yoga class though, that sucks!

I'm cynical about men, too. A friend dated a man recently who said he was going through a divorce. I immediately asked if she verified that with his wife.

Ditto. My new response to everything any female friend says to me re: a new love interest and what he tells her is "Well he says that, but we'll see if it's true."

Ellie, I'm seriously down to help plan this thing if everyone is serious about some kind of g2g.

For you ladies with kids, I know this is going to sound like a stupid question, but is there any time specifically that is better for you to get out of town without the kids in tow? I know, I know, almost never. But like, I would imagine we would need to avoid Spring Break because the kids will be out of school and you'll likely want to be doing family activities/trips then? Not sure if all of the various school districts would align, but since a lot of families travel out to CA for their vacation, typically April and even into May is just one week after the other of families taking over the beaches, so I would imagine it would be similar in the Carolinas.

Anyone have any thoughts re: timing? I know of a few specific work events that I'm going to have to plan around, but I'll have to check the calendar and see what dates they are scheduled for next year.

20yrs ago, sorry to hear about your flat tire! I get flat tires constantly, I'm guessing because there's so much construction out here that I'm constantly driving over nails or screws. Anyway, I ended up getting road hazard insurance, and it has saved my ass on several occasions! It was something like $17/tire when I bought them, and they will literally replace the tire no matter what happens to it. I only have to pay $17 to put the insurance on the new tire. I've honestly gotten something like 20 flat tires since living in LA, and road hazard insurance is fucking awesome!

BigBlueEyes, you out there lady? Haven't heard from you in a bit, just want to make sure you're ok. And also, if you ended up giving in and talking to him, please don't feel ashamed. I'm not saying that you did, maybe you're just taking a step back to heal like you said, but just want you to know, it's also normal to be trauma bonded to him after all of these years, and no one will judge you if you did end up feeling that pull to speak with him. I don't recommend it at all, but I get it. Hopefully you're still here, just lurking When you're ready to come back, we're here to listen, or for some laughs, whatever you need

Did you see Cheater’s OWs?

What is this?

When to get away is a rough one for me. My youngest, 8, is homeschooled, so school breaks would actually be better for me because my olders are home to be with him. A lot of times, we go to NC over spring break to visit friends.

Federal government holiday times are probably best for me. Then, my fch would be off work.

I like the new motto!

So, my class was canceled yesterday, but...the owner said she'd like to take me off the free karma yoga class rotation and put me on a regular class rotation. That means I would sort of have a regular job. I would only teach once a month or so, but it would be regular. Might get me in the door to get my own weekly class, or at least more subs.

How about the NC Crystal Coast?

When I posted asking if you saw my WH’s Other Women, it was in response to the shot wrapped in skin post

Well I am kidless, but have fur babies. Thankfully school isn't a factor with them tho

My concern would be financial moreso - anytime after May 1 would work for me (I get bonus in April, and me mum's bday is in late April, so I can't miss that). If someone else handles the planning reins, I will help however I can!

Had such a nice peaceful day today and didn't realize how badly I needed it. It was an absolutely perfect warm sunny fall day. My mom bought us tickets to go to the Monet exhibit that is in Denver right now. My lawdy, so beautiful. I forgot how much I love art and museums - I think I will have to start going to them more. So we went and got some breakfast at my favorite breakfast place then went through the exhibit. It makes me want to get out my pastels again. Got my grocery shopping done since it is gonna snow tomorrow, so I get to just stay in and hang by the fire all day and make some potato soup. Gonna be lovely!

Hope all you lovelies are having a wonderful weekend!

Was just rummaging around in y’all’s thread.

You ladies are TOO fun!

My first EMDR is Thursday, Halloween! My IC said I should get "significant results"!!!

Excited, but? DDay #2 was Halloween 1996,

Ugh

Oh Ellie! I adore Colorado. Before I die, I will live up in Manitou Springs! I almost drove up last week just to see the snow!

20yrs, good luck with your EMDR. I had some pretty bad PTSD before dday. Needless to say its pretty horrendous. I've asked my daughter to see if she can recommend a provider. She is a therapist. I am interested to hear your opinion.