Newest Member: MissKitty

I Can Relate :
Betrayed Womenz Thread

Topic is Sleeping.
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Iwasyoungonce ( New Member #70856) posted at 3:28 AM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

Can I just say that I kind of hate that I can't complain about my laundry list of a sh!t year without feeling like a pathetic little whiner?

And yet part of me wants to hand out pre-printed disclaimers to everyone that I come into contact with.

"Before you interact with me any further please be aware that I have all of this on my plate and therefore my tolerance for general stupidity is at -7. You have been warned. Proceed with caution."

Learning to live again....

posts: 40   ·   registered: Jun. 25th, 2019
id 8458693
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cocoplus5nuts ( Member #45796) posted at 4:06 AM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

Before you interact with me any further please be aware that I have all of this on my plate and therefore my tolerance for general stupidity is at -7. You have been warned. Proceed with caution."

🤣 I told some friends today that I could not take the stupid.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8458704
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EllieKMAS ( Member #68900) posted at 4:17 AM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

SOS - where you at?

Any of my women come to CO, I have a guest bed open for any of you any time...

IWYO - You should put that on a mug LOL

ETA - complain away! That's what we are here for!

And coco yasssssss. If it was even, I could not.

[This message edited by EllieKMAS at 10:19 PM, October 26th (Saturday)]

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3143   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8458708
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sickofsurviving ( Member #52308) posted at 4:35 AM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

Ellie, I'm in Texas. It's only like 10 hours to Colorado Springs for me.

IWYO, if you do get that printed on a card, let me know. I'll go in halfsies with you. Ok, in all honesty, it might be too late. I completely lost my shit on my cable company today.

BS-me 54
WH 56
Married 2004

4 DDs 35,30,26,25
Sexting affair with his 1st cousin 2007-2008 maybe
D-Day 8-8-15
Married

posts: 859   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2016
id 8458712
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EllieKMAS ( Member #68900) posted at 5:57 AM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

OMG this is why you need IRL support...

Batsy = friend who worked with xdouche but has 100% sided with me, she also knew skanklet

BatsyH = Batsy's husband

xdouche = obvs

skanklet = 19 yo slut AP

So my xdouche commented on a post on Batsy's sm. Well I guess skanklet has been sending Batsy friend requests, which B has largely ignored, but that piss her off so bad. Batsy and her husband want to find skanklet, but I keep telling them her retarded ass ain't worth getting trouble over.

Skanklet commented about how funny Batsy's post was and Batsy tagged her in the following response "I'd appreciate it if your home-wrecking ass didn't speak to me. You're nothing but a whore pretending to be a good person. Karma's a bitch." Several of xdouche's family members were also in the responses.

Then Batsy's H posted on his sm, "You are a grownass manbaby in your late 30's and your dirty slut is 19 and she used to blow your boss who is in his 60's - #winning".

I am dyin laughing but so incredibly touched at their blanket support too.

Today was a goooooood day!

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3143   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8458741
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AmIAnIdiot15 ( Member #71023) posted at 9:14 AM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

Oooh Ellie, you have GOOD FRIENDS.

I'm at the very western edge of CO, if I come out your way I might take you up on the couch offer!

posts: 81   ·   registered: Jul. 16th, 2019   ·   location: CO
id 8458753
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sickofsurviving ( Member #52308) posted at 1:30 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

I have absolutely no IRL support. Well, I guess that's not entirely true. My girls know, but I dont really talk to them about it. They are adults, but still the kids.

I have lived and worked in a semi for 4+ years. Not conducive to making friends. Oh, other trucker wives. But its superficial and on Facebook mostly.

I cant tell you how utterly alone I am. The other day, at bedtime, it occurred to me that I had not spoken 1 single word out loud, except to ask the dogs if they wanted to go outside.

I dont trust anyone. I never have. How could I? So I dont have "friends".

Oy vey! Sorry ladies. It's my first week separated and I'm kind of a mess. And kind of better.

BS-me 54
WH 56
Married 2004

4 DDs 35,30,26,25
Sexting affair with his 1st cousin 2007-2008 maybe
D-Day 8-8-15
Married

posts: 859   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2016
id 8458786
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cocoplus5nuts ( Member #45796) posted at 3:54 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

OMG, Ellie! That is priceless! I love Batsy and BatsyH. We must add them to our list somehow.

I have one IRL friend who was very supportive. We don't live close to each other, but she was always available to call or text and was always positive.

SOS, have you looked into BAN meetings in your area? You might be able to find some irl support there. Get out and do something you enjoy. Check out Meetup for activities with other people with like interests.

I would love to go to CO! I've been to 4 corners. Does that count? Actually, I think we drive through CO, and maybe even stayed overnight, when we were moving once. We've taken 3 road trips across the country from coast to coast.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8458809
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sickofsurviving ( Member #52308) posted at 4:10 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

I have only been off the truck for a week today. So I haven't checked any BAN or other social activities. I honestly dont know that I'm ready for people. I've been so isolated for so many years. Even before dday.

Being in that truck, while isolating, was awesome too. I have been to the lower 48. Just need Alaska and Hawaii. I have seen and done so many amazing things.

So many of the things we planned on when the kids were grown. Its bittersweet. It's part of what kept me immobile for so long.

Like I tell my girls when they call me heartbroken, the "almosts" are the hardest.

BS-me 54
WH 56
Married 2004

4 DDs 35,30,26,25
Sexting affair with his 1st cousin 2007-2008 maybe
D-Day 8-8-15
Married

posts: 859   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2016
id 8458815
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Lostheart8 ( Member #71607) posted at 4:21 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

Good morning ladies.

Yeah, I’m watching peters actions. He’s number 36 of the dates I’ve gone on in the last 2.5 years. I have a system. Most dates never make it to number two. I’m pretty fussy (though I picked to fall in love with a big winner )

So I’m more excited about the fact he didn’t didn’t ask about my pussy, breasts and oral sex. He’s got a great job and kept his home. He told me his full name and where he lives. Thus I could google him and everything matched up.

Let’s put it this way....it’s a good start.

That all said....I’m definitely not ready for a relationship.

I disappeared from the thread because I had a bad case of sad, mad and disappointed related to douchebag.

You ladies get it....all the fucking feelings just come up and overwhelm ya.

Then I don’t want to even see Peter. I want to hide.

That said...last night was the first night I got some decent sleep. It’s been almost two months of shit sleep. Waking with anxiety or bad dreams of abandonment. Or just general staring at ceiling.

Well, I have another date with Peter tonight. He’s taking me to the movies. That should get my mind off this fucked situation that I got myself into.

I do believe I’m finally over the idea of getting back together with ex. I feel the relief of never having to make it work out with him. No more lies. Fucker douchebag.

Thanks for listening to my rambles.

Ellie ... I love Monet as well. I have a membership to the Met museum in nyc. I go regularly and Monet is one of my favorites. I love the expressionist art. I go and sit and soak in the beauty. Art makes me happy too.

posts: 162   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2019
id 8458821
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Lostheart8 ( Member #71607) posted at 4:24 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

Big hugs sickofsurving. I fucking hate the plans that never will happen.

You’re not alone.

[This message edited by Lostheart8 at 10:25 AM, October 27th (Sunday)]

posts: 162   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2019
id 8458823
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EllieKMAS ( Member #68900) posted at 4:40 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

SOS - that first couple weeks of S is really hard. Just keep swimming - I am 90days out today and things are WAY better. Still sucks, not gonna lie, but the pain is nowhere near as acute. And if you don't have IRL support, at least you have the womenz. I am so sorry you're hurting right now!

AIAI - fo sho! So long as you can handle my neurotic dogs LOL

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3143   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8458831
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EllieKMAS ( Member #68900) posted at 4:42 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

Coco I def count the 4 corners

LH - yep, I get the feeling of wanting to go into a hole. It happens. But those days are getting fewer and further between for me thank goodness!

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3143   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8458834
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sickofsurviving ( Member #52308) posted at 4:49 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

Coco, I love 4 corners, too. It's such a different kind of beautiful. If you can, I definitely recommend Garden of the Gods. There is a reason they call it that. Lol. And...its just up the hiway from Ellie.

Thank you all for letting me crash your party. I really need the propping up so I dont cave.

BS-me 54
WH 56
Married 2004

4 DDs 35,30,26,25
Sexting affair with his 1st cousin 2007-2008 maybe
D-Day 8-8-15
Married

posts: 859   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2016
id 8458836
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EllieKMAS ( Member #68900) posted at 4:55 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

SOS one thing I will say... the limbo is the worst. As much as D sucks, getting unstuck and finding a path forward (ANY path forward) was way better than the waiting and uncertainty.

I SO get the maybe not being ready for people... but I also think that complete isolation is counter-productive. Can you look into some CoDA meetings maybe?

I tend to isolate too, but have made it a point to get out of my house at least one day a week, just so I don't turn into a complete shut-in. So far it is working alright I think.

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3143   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8458839
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sickofsurviving ( Member #52308) posted at 5:06 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

Limbo has been hell. But it was that or a shelter. And the only people that think a shelter is better, haven't lived in one.

This broke me in ways I didnt know I could be broken. Which is really crazy considering my jacked up life. I'm getting there, tho.

The limbo was both emotional and financial. On dday I was on disability. I'm a pancreatic cancer survivor and cervical cancer. I dont have many of my innards left. Lol. So step 1 was being able to legally work. We own our truck, so I have no on paper experience for 9 years! Honestly working a full time job may be impossible for me health wise.

I guess we will see. I just know my first waking thought can no longer be I hate my life. He can stay a fucked up cousin fucker all he wants. I just am no longer willing to participate. I'll get there

[This message edited by sickofsurviving at 11:07 AM, October 27th (Sunday)]

BS-me 54
WH 56
Married 2004

4 DDs 35,30,26,25
Sexting affair with his 1st cousin 2007-2008 maybe
D-Day 8-8-15
Married

posts: 859   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2016
id 8458842
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EllieKMAS ( Member #68900) posted at 5:17 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

SOS - honey you ARE getting there. And getting there is a long fucking hard slog. Sucks major ass. Just stay the course. Because the further you get from it, the better and more clear you will become.

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3143   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8458845
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Lostheart8 ( Member #71607) posted at 5:24 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

Love ya Ellie .. read some of your threads on another post. Well said.

I might need reminding that this does get easier. Some days just seem tougher then others.

SOS - come and join us on our beach party. Being held right now. Have any requests? Mine was dart throwing at pics. Can’t remember who, but a great request for a blow up unicorn.

posts: 162   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2019
id 8458848
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sickofsurviving ( Member #52308) posted at 5:28 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

I'm lucky. I live 4 miles from 1 of my girls. She has been amazing. Makes me so glad I'm up here with her, rather than in between the 4.

She kidnapped me monday and we just hung out at the lake. And surprised me on her way home from work Thursday. This kid is my mini me. She had her own dday about a year after mine. She left him. It's easy to be with her. She doesn't expect me to be over it.

Ok, now that I'm not such a mess, who posted that amazing yarn a while ago? And where the heck do I get some? After my pancreas, I taught myself to crochet and sew. I'm actually trying my first cardigan now!

BS-me 54
WH 56
Married 2004

4 DDs 35,30,26,25
Sexting affair with his 1st cousin 2007-2008 maybe
D-Day 8-8-15
Married

posts: 859   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2016
id 8458849
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sickofsurviving ( Member #52308) posted at 5:32 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

Thanks LH8. Right after Ellie's mountains, the beach is my favorite!

I would like to have a bonfire. If we are throwing darts at pictures of them, they must be flaming!!!

BS-me 54
WH 56
Married 2004

4 DDs 35,30,26,25
Sexting affair with his 1st cousin 2007-2008 maybe
D-Day 8-8-15
Married

posts: 859   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2016
id 8458850
Topic is Sleeping.
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