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I Can Relate :
Betrayed Womenz Thread

Topic is Sleeping.
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Lostheart8 ( member #71607) posted at 8:37 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

SOS ... done flaming darts. I like that thought. Surprised we didn’t think of it earlier.

I think the yarn belongs to coco. She went to a fiber show.

[This message edited by Lostheart8 at 2:38 PM, October 27th (Sunday)]

posts: 162   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2019
id 8458900
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sickofsurviving ( member #52308) posted at 8:43 PM on Sunday, October 27th, 2019

If I'm going to throw a dart at my cheater, I want that thing on fire when I bullseye that sucker right up his... well you know.

I'm going to have to check into a fiber show!

ETA: oops. I meant throw a flaming dart at his picture. I do however, like my first idea,too.

[This message edited by sickofsurviving at 2:49 PM, October 27th (Sunday)]

BS-me 54
WH 56
Married 2004

4 DDs 35,30,26,25
Sexting affair with his 1st cousin 2007-2008 maybe
D-Day 8-8-15
Married

posts: 859   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2016
id 8458902
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gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 12:23 AM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

SOS - I think the yarn is coco+5's thing. And there are telephone and online CODA meetings - a way to get some support until you feel better about un-isolating? Meetups can also be a good way to do something w/o a big commitment (one here has weekly bowling!).

My weekend? Learning to make low carb booze! Started on Friday when I looked up the carb count in Kahlua (OMFG). So I ordered coffee w/cream and a shot of Jamisons, then added a french vanilla stevia thing I take with me. It was pretty good (bonus was drinking coffee all night and just getting the shot every 3-4 cups. So I was sober enough to drive home, lol.

The bailey's is amazeballs. I also made some of the basic sweetener (no cream, a tad of booze to get it all to dissolve) to put into a dropper bottle and take with me - so next time I can order the coffee + cream + Jamisons, but add my sweetener with the other flavors to give some depth.

Will start the kahlua tomorrow (it's supposed to sit 4-6 weeks).

I'm thinking my whole family is gonna get homemade booze - whether it's with or without "real" sugar.

WH's been here and we did some work on the house that needed to be done before winter hits.

booze + outside productivity is pretty good.

M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived

It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies

posts: 3369   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2018
id 8458950
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 12:32 AM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

Home made booze. What a concept! And booze + coffee = 🎉

I just realized that the Antiversary of DDay3 passed and it wasn’t even on my RADAR.

ETA - FUCK.

[This message edited by Chaos at 6:32 PM, October 27th (Sunday)]

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3269   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8458953
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 12:56 AM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

#themoreyouknow

Chaos, isn't is a good thing that a dday anniversary didn't make you all crazy-like? I think that shows progress

gmc - yummmmm.... I love Bailey's!

I washed my sheets today and took a bath and shaved so I get to slide into a clean fresh bed with smooth legs tonight. I swear if I won the lottery I would pay someone to put fresh sheets on my bed every day. It is truly one of life's simple pleasures.

Pre-emptive weekly FUCK. It's snowing here so morning commute is gonna be ridiculous.

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3145   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8458961
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 1:04 AM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

It does feel good. Liberating! And even when I realized it - I still felt nothing. Just like “huh - it was a few days ago. “. And that was it. I started to ponder what it meant that I felt this way. But didn’t want to waste the time.

So D2DW it is a good sign. I treated myself by buying a pretty lipgloss.

And yeah - Pre Fuck you to Monday’s.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3269   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8458968
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sickofsurviving ( member #52308) posted at 1:37 AM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

Ah booze...how I miss booze! Stupid pancreas! But making homemade booze sounds super cool too!

Ellie, stop it with all that snow talk. I'll be forced to get in my mom mobile and head that way!

Chaos, that sounds awesome! I hope you continue to feel meh...

It was beautiful here today. I got out with the dogs for a while. Walked around our neighborhood. Its supposed to rain all week. Yuck.

BS-me 54
WH 56
Married 2004

4 DDs 35,30,26,25
Sexting affair with his 1st cousin 2007-2008 maybe
D-Day 8-8-15
Married

posts: 859   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2016
id 8458976
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 1:57 AM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

I love the snow... when I don't have to drive in it. Today has been lovely, but snow just makes the rush hour ri-fucking-diculous. Sigh. Is ok, I have good tune-age and will have my coffee, plus my heater and defroster finally got fixed in my truck, so I guess I will make it

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3145   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8458983
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sickofsurviving ( member #52308) posted at 2:09 AM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

I have never driven in the snow. They close Texas when it snows.

BS-me 54
WH 56
Married 2004

4 DDs 35,30,26,25
Sexting affair with his 1st cousin 2007-2008 maybe
D-Day 8-8-15
Married

posts: 859   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2016
id 8458986
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 2:21 AM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

SOS - LMAO over here!! Yeah, I know they close TX when it snows. And no offense, but all the Texans that have moved my way are part of what makes snowy commutes more interesting

Big part of the reason why I am contemplating a move...

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3145   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8458993
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 2:33 AM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

I'm a pancreatic cancer survivor

🤯 Best emoji I could find, but I wish it had more of a happy expression. I didn't know this was possible. My mom died from pancreatic cancer.

Yes, that yarn was mine. I got it from wool & Vinyl. I wish we could post links. Another of my favorites is Mosaic Moon. If you're on ravelry, you can find both.

We drove to my dad's house yesterday to grab some things before he puts it up for sale. We also brought back a vehicle for our almost 16yo. It's a 1996 Suziki Sidekick. The kids had a good time fiddling with all the old timey stuff, like windows that up have to manually crank and locks that you have to go around and individually push down. LOL

I'm sure I'm going to drain the battery because the lights don't turn off automatically. I almost forgot it didn't have a backup camera or beeped if you got too close to something. Came close to smashing a parked car.

Didn't do much of anything today. Went to yoga midday. Came home and fiddled around. Fch had to work because of the Marine Corps marathon in DC.

I LOVE snow! But, I don't have to drive in it. No commute for me. Northern Virginia is much more pleasant to live in when I don't have to deal with that mess.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8458997
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sickofsurviving ( member #52308) posted at 3:45 AM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

Ellie, I'm hoping to do something from home. So I wont mess up your commute. Lol.

Coco, I am so sorry about your mom. I hope she didnt suffer. It's a really painful cancer.

Yeah, I got so stupid lucky! I had a complete hysterectomy when I was 39. Cervical cancer with precancerous tumors in my left ovary. Thankfully, it left me with scar tissue. One night, 9 years ago, the scar tissue that had adhered to my intestines was so horrible I thought I was dying. I didnt know it was scar tissue yet.

So, to the ER I went. My pancreatic enzymes were sky high. I was having an acute pancreatitis episode. Then the whole diagnostic crap started. As it turns out, I had 3 very small tumors in the tail of my pancreas.

They removed the back half of my pancreas, spleen, and gall bladder. No chemo, no radiation. I'm cancer free.

But holy shit!!! Some days are hell. Chronic pancreatitis is not a walk in the park. I try so hard not to bitch. I woke up on the right side of the grass.

I think that's part of my stuck. My health is tenuous. I'm scared to leave. Even if this is bad.

On a happier note... I think I'm gonna hit ravelry. Like I need more yarn. Pretty soon it's going to start escaping my craft room! I love yarn! Lol.

BS-me 54
WH 56
Married 2004

4 DDs 35,30,26,25
Sexting affair with his 1st cousin 2007-2008 maybe
D-Day 8-8-15
Married

posts: 859   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2016
id 8459030
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DaisyAnne ( member #71434) posted at 1:27 PM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

Ellie, that is awesome! The only person I have told would love to do that on FB. If the psycho was someone we all know, I would have her do it in a heartbeat. I so want to out her but honestly, I do think it is best that I just move on and not sink to her level of games. She's not worth it.

My weekend was really nice! Saturday we we took our kids out to a brewery that has the best nachos. We love this brewery because it has something to make all of us happy! It was about an hour away so we enjoyed the drive, walked around the town a bit, and just had a great family day. WH stopped me as we were walking, kissed me and told me he is in love with me and our family and is so happy. Of course it made my heart happy, but also I wanted to say to him "why didn't you think of this when you were with that psycho?!!". That is one thing I will never understand.

Me: BW - early 40's
Him: WH - late 40's
Married: 18 years, together 24
2 teenage children
Dday: 5/23/19
Reconciling

posts: 241   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2019
id 8459137
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 3:32 PM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

9h, SOS, yours was caught early by happenstance. That's wonderful! Something similar happened with my grandad. He went in for surgery for something and they found pancreatic cancer while they were in there. Removed it and he was food to go!

By the time the found out with my mom, it was already too late, as is usually the case. She suffered greatly through chemo and radiation and then just the disease. She quot treatment because it was futile and making her sick. It was a relief when she finally died.

I'm sending you a PM about ravelry. 😁Too bad we don't live close enough to get together and do yarny stuff.

I don't remember if I mentioned to you all that m7 fch said in counseling that he feels like I talk to him like he's an idiot sometimes. I've been thinking about that a lot because I know I do it. I know it's not healthy for our M. But, the truth is that I do think he's an idiot. I think he's a stupid, spineless coward. I have very little, if any, respect for him.

So, I told him all of that last night. I wanted him to know why I struggled with that. I don't want to talk to people like that, but if the shoe fits...

Ya know what his response was? Nothing! He got busy fixing his pillowcases, which took him a ridiculously long time, then called the kids for bed. That was that.

I finally asked him if he had anything to say about it. I know I would have a lot to say if someone said that to me. He thought for quite a while, to the point I started to think he wasn't going to answer again. Finally, he said he understands why I think he's stupid. What he did was very stupid. It "concerns" him that I don't respect him.

I asked if he would've ever said anything to me about it if I hadn't asked. He said he probably would've, but he was still processing it all. I told him that it might be helpful if he at least acknowledged that he heard me and was thinking about it. Silence is damaging.

This morning he made a point of giving me a hug before he left. The therapist said something about people needing numerous hugs a day, so he's trying to fulfill that. Again, it doesn't matter that I've told him that several times in reference to our children.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8459209
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 3:48 PM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

he feels like I talk to him like he's an idiot sometimes. I've been thinking about that a lot because I know I do it. I know it's not healthy for our M. But, the truth is that I do think he's an idiot. I think he's a stupid, spineless coward. I have very little, if any, respect for him.

OMG Coco, are you sure you aren't married to my xh? He said this to me too, and I feel exactly the same way you do. Like.... Well you act like a fucking idiot, soooo.... And the asking a question and getting nothing but sileece and the BDI face - yeah mine did that shit too.

I really don't miss him. Weird. Today, I don't miss him AT ALL. Hmm.

PS - BDI = big dumb idiot

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3145   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8459220
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sickofsurviving ( member #52308) posted at 3:49 PM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

Coco, I'm now quite concerned with your pancreas. With your family history, I hope you see a pancreas specialist routinely.

Oh yarny things! My favorite. So much more relaxing than sewing. Sewing is mostly ironing. I HATE ironing.

I have said all those things to my cheater too. He just sits there like a stone. As usual. No reaction. Then, when we fight he screams at me for it. Whatever dude. If the shoe fits.

BS-me 54
WH 56
Married 2004

4 DDs 35,30,26,25
Sexting affair with his 1st cousin 2007-2008 maybe
D-Day 8-8-15
Married

posts: 859   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2016
id 8459221
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Dorothy123 ( member #53116) posted at 3:57 PM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

I can so relate to this thread.

I'm trying to cut back........

posts: 5093   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2016   ·   location: a place that hurts
id 8459228
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20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 3:57 PM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

Our similarities are kinda freaking me out!

I also think my Cheater is stupid.

He has a MBA, works in the IT field with very smart people, but seems dumb around me.

And there’s the cheating and lying. If I were going to sacrifice my soul to eternal Hell, I would choose a better way. His Other Women were SO gross!

We, if you offer crummy bait, you only catch crap fish, right?

BW, 54 WH 53
When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2101   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8459229
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sickofsurviving ( member #52308) posted at 4:21 PM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

Well, my cheater is pretty high up there on the gross scale. Incest with his fat, ugly, first cousin.

Early on, I asked why were you telling her you love her. That idiot kept yelling "because she is family". How the hell do you respond to that? Of course my response was, why are you fucking your family?

Dear god. Just typing that made me gag. I have never told another soul that part.

BS-me 54
WH 56
Married 2004

4 DDs 35,30,26,25
Sexting affair with his 1st cousin 2007-2008 maybe
D-Day 8-8-15
Married

posts: 859   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2016
id 8459248
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gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 4:33 PM on Monday, October 28th, 2019

Silence is damaging.

Indeed.

And I get what you are saying about respect. I used to think it would come back as he stepped up. But he's not stepped up, and I think my respect has actually gotten worse since dday (hard to believe that's even possible).

M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived

It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies

posts: 3369   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2018
id 8459254
Topic is Sleeping.
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