Thanks everyone. I find the discussion incredibly helpful.
Some additional fuel:
She's an incredibly hard worker, but She had some trouble finding a job when she first moved here. I encouraged her to get a job as a server... told her her personality was well suited for it, and it would help with her English.
All the other servers hate her. She tends to make 2x as much as them in tips. People request her and are willing to wait when she is on shift. Husbands love her, wives adore her, and She always had a funny story to tell. But it wasn't what she wanted to continue to do. So she get a second job in a customer service department. (Her restaurant politely declined to allow her to quit, so she only works 1x a week there now.) The new job was pure misery to her. Mandatory overtime, long hours, and repetitive support ticket work with no real momentum for career advancement. She lasted 9 months before she decided to look for something else.
This didn't take long, because everytime she mentions she's looking for a job at her restaurant, people fall all over themselves to hire her.
So she took on a new job as an executive assistant. I can't really say I was a fan of this idea, and told here that I expected she'd hate it. New role she serves an executive assistant for Owner and Owner's Wife who also works in the office. She manages their emails, sets meetings and appointments, books flights, hotels, conference calls... etc. All the things you'd expect an executive assistant to do. in the last 9 months, she's been promoted, received a bonus, and a raise. But some of it has been pretty uncomfortable. They gave her company credit cards, she has their passports, she sometimes picks up this couples' children from school and delivers them to soccer practice etc. While they were on vacation, she was asked to feed their chickens and turkey-- she has the code to their house. So she's doing a lot of personal assistant type stuff as well. And because of how involved she is in their lives, she mentions them in her conversations a lot... and I tire of it.
[Owner and his wife are 20-30 years older than my wife and 15-20 years older than me, and have two highschool aged kids of their own. Owner provided phone numbers of previous executive assistances to vouch for his good character. He seems like a good man. He seems to be loyal to his wife. But I am a BS from my first marriage, and I am jealous.]
In January, she had to go on a business trip with her boss. ( Yes, I can hear you all collectively screaming) They left early morning and returned the same evening late.... they drove.... 6 hours each way. I told her she should never be driving with another man, and that was weird and highly innappropriate and I couldn't imagine why her boss would even request that. She explained that she went with him and the woman from HR was there as well, so there was nothing to fear. I've circled back to this trip a few times, to see if her story changes, but it has been consistent.
One day, in March, she comes home and announces she wants to buy a motorcycle.... I told her very bluntly that wives don't come home out of the blue, wanting a motorcycle, unless there was some other person that likes motorcycles that she was emulating. It was owner and owners wife... they had signed up for classes to get the motorcycle license. They offered to pay for my wife too. She went and took the class with them and with another woman from work...
(A week ago, owner's wife was in a motorcycle accident and hospitalized. My wife doesn't want a motorcycle anymore. She says they are dangerous and scary)
I didn't like how much real estate Owner was beginning to take up in my life
This is why I began monitoring call logs... But there is nothing in her cell phones out of ordinary. No constant texting, no hours and hours of calls, few texts and calls outside of business hours--- it all seems business.