D-Day 6/22/16Ended in Divorce 07/02/18Remarried.

Creeping Dread

Hi all.

I haven't "Just found out"

But I've been through this before.

You know that feeling that something isn't right... that something has changed, and there is that unstifled feeling of dread in the back of your mind. That fear of discovering the truth... the calm before the storm.... the deep breath before that plunge into the abyss.

I am there.

But I'm torn.

Is something happening, or is my relationship heading toward it.

I'd rather not make the same mistakes I made the first time through, so I'm experiencing a mighty struggle.

I do not believe my 2nd wife is currently having an affair. I believe she is at risk of having an affair.
I feel my choices are to focus on me, or to focus on gathering evidence.

My instinctual reaction is to go into hyper-vigilence and super-slueth... but deep down I understand this doesn't fix anything, and only hastens an inevitable conclusion if there is one.

I'm pressed between an intense desire to focus on myself, go to the gym, lose weight, develop confidence, and be the type of man any wife would be proud of (by this I mean incorporating the pre-emptive 180-- in essence)---- and... deploying GPS trackers, VARS, checking her phone if I can, and essentially ultimately descending into dancing the pick me dance.

Like, friends..... I know that I need to be to hell with everything..... she'll do what she'll do and she'll not do if she has no need to do... but at the same time I'm logging into opendns and checking domains, and monitoring her cell activity for texts and call records.
it's fucking hell. I can log into her pc's... I know the codes. I've done it
I haven't seen anything damning. I DONT WANT TO DO THIS.

But

She's become gym-obsessed, and purposefully goes when I cannot
She's clearly become cell-phone adverse.
Her work is becoming increasingly concerning in terms of focus.
She's getting cosmetic procedures.

I'm ticking off red flag after red flag after red flag.
And I am trying to ask.... do you really want to go through this again?
Or..
Is your previous experience contaminating what you have?

Creeping Dread.

103 comments posted: Wednesday, May 3rd, 2023

Creeping Dread (moved to General)

  This Topic has been moved to General

1 comment posted: Friday, April 28th, 2023

gps tracking WS car

WW was out all day on Monday "Christmas Shopping".

I last spoke to her around 9:00 PM

She cam home at 3:00 AM and says she got sick with the stomache flu, threw up in a parking lot, and then "fell asleep" in the parking lot.

To be fair, i got the stomache flu the next day, but i find it very suspicious that she fell asleep in a parking lot until around 2:00 AM and then drove home.

So i've decided it's going to be necessary to GPS her car.

Any BS here have any successes with this? How did you do it?

7 comments posted: Friday, December 23rd, 2016