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New Beginnings :
Ex in your contacts list

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 HeartFullOfHoles (original poster Member #42874) posted at 6:24 AM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

I have always kept my ex under her real name and no special song, etc. in my contacts, though at times I certainly have been tempted. As I get closer to the point where I will legally never have to interact with her again I'm trying to decide should I just delete/block her number or put it under a special name (e.g. giving a French flair Voldemorte => "She who shall not be named").

Part of the reason for this is she is next to my sister and I have twice almost called her when trying to call my sister. Unlikely to accidentally dial Voldemorte . Thoughts?

BH - Tried to R for too long, now happily divorced
D-Day 4/28-29/2012 (both 48 at the time)
Two adult daughters

posts: 674   ·   registered: Mar. 24th, 2014
id 8675986
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BearlyBreathing ( Member #55075) posted at 7:07 AM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

Just the opposite for me . I had my WS in my phone as Cheating A$$hole until recently where I changed it to his name. Put a Z or something in front of her name so it moves to bottom of tour list alphabetically. If you date someone in the future you don’t want to have to explain.

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTAKinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4208   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8675987
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The1stWife ( Member #58832) posted at 11:40 AM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

I would delete the X AND block but that’s just me.

No need for those reminders.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 10511   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8676023
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DigitalSpyder ( Member #61995) posted at 12:39 PM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

I have mine in my phone as the "The X" puts her far enough away from anyone I actually call, so there is no accidentally dialing her.

Once, DS is an adult its block city for her on everything.

Post Tenebras Spero Lucem

posts: 349   ·   registered: Dec. 28th, 2017   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8676040
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J707 ( Member #63778) posted at 4:12 PM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

I have mine under X wife (name). It's at the bottom of my contacts. I got almost 4 years until my youngest is 18. I'm sure I'll block her through text and email then. Shes already blocked on any social media accounts.

With adult children and no need to discuss finances, D or anything, I would just block. What's there to talk about with her? Nothing

posts: 1104   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2018   ·   location: Ca
id 8676115
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WhoTheBleep ( Member #49504) posted at 4:23 PM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

I have had stbx under a code name (think slight variation of "cluster b") for years. I don't actually use Cluster B because I don't want to disparage him to my kids if they happen to see it and Google. I've never accidentally dialed him.

I do, however, have plenty of text message evidence that I have submitted to the judge as evidence in my trial. Unfortunately, Verizon does not let you go back in time and change his name. You can change it in the present and going forward, but old text messages will still have what you named him at that time. Part of me hopes the judge asks me what it means 🤣🤣🤣.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4355   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8676119
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EllieKMAS ( Member #68900) posted at 4:43 PM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

While I was still having to interact with him for divorce-related stuff, I changed my xwh's name to 'Idiot cheating fucking arsehole' - I had no other I-names in my phone so there was no danger of accidentally dialing him. Plus it helped me remember who I was dealing with when he would text or call.

After we D'd? Deleted and blocked his ass on everything and haven't had cause to regret it once.

[This message edited by EllieKMAS at 10:43 AM, July 16th (Friday)]

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3138   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8676127
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wildbananas ( Member #10552) posted at 4:46 PM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

I used to have ex-asshat under something not very nice but it's now just X. Our youngest just turned 18 and I'm wondering if I even need to keep his number anymore.

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

posts: 16492   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2006   ·   location: Somewhere
id 8676129
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wantnomore ( New Member #71871) posted at 4:51 PM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

While I was still having to interact with him for divorce-related stuff, I changed my xwh's name to 'Idiot cheating fucking arsehole' - I had no other I-names in my phone so there was no danger of accidentally dialing him. Plus it helped me remember who I was dealing with when he would text or call.

Haha!! Love it!! May just do the same....

posts: 34   ·   registered: Oct. 18th, 2019
id 8676133
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Phoenix1 ( Moderator #38928) posted at 9:11 PM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

I've done the "Z" thing as well to move him to the bottom. Zasshole, to be exact. His pic is a cartoon devil and his ring tone is a braying jackass, I mean donkey.

We have rare communication and is mostly thru email, but on the very rare occasion the braying jackass goes off it never fails to make me laugh.

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 8992   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 8676233
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EllieKMAS ( Member #68900) posted at 9:32 PM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

his ring tone is a braying jackass, I mean donkey.

The ringtone for mine was the Imperial March from Star Wars

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3138   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8676245
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J707 ( Member #63778) posted at 3:29 AM on Saturday, July 17th, 2021

The ringtone for mine was the Imperial March from Star Wars

My son was in band for school. My ex was late, like usual. They were playing that when she trooped in. I was cracking up pretty good! She looked like Darth making her late entrance!

posts: 1104   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2018   ·   location: Ca
id 8676337
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WhoTheBleep ( Member #49504) posted at 7:44 PM on Saturday, July 17th, 2021

Zasshole, to be exact

I just spit out my espresso. This is brilliant.

I have an android. And stbx's text tone is called "sad trumpet". Think wa waa waa waaaaa.

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 1:46 PM, July 17th (Saturday)]

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4355   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8676438
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thebighurt ( Member #34722) posted at 2:45 AM on Sunday, July 18th, 2021

My response was similar. He declared anyone who would be unfaithful a pos, so that is how I have referred to him, and since D as xpos on here. That is where I put him in my phone. He was next to someone I call often, so needed to go somewhere else like my open 'x' area.

And slight t/j: Congrats Nanners on reaching freedom from the ex! Time to celebrate!

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

posts: 4998   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: the Other Side
id 8676501
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Charmedwren ( New Member #44149) posted at 6:44 AM on Sunday, July 18th, 2021

Mine is saved as Scrotum Sweat. His ringtone is silent. All I can think of is 4.5 more years until the youngest is 18.

Me - BW
M 23 years
DD #1 Jan 2013
DD #2 Apr 2013
DD #3 Dec 2018

posts: 36   ·   registered: Jul. 18th, 2014   ·   location: GC, Australia
id 8676519
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HeHadADoubleLife ( Member #68944) posted at 8:18 AM on Sunday, July 18th, 2021

Mine was saved as Lying Liar Who Fucking Lies for a while...

until I had to cc him in an email to my eldest's orthodontist, and apparently that contact name showed up? The receptionist was kind enough to notify me, so now he's just saved as his initials.

Though I've blocked him in every conceivable way now, I do still have to have some kind of contact card in there in order to block both his phone number and his email address from iMessaging me.

BW
DDay Nov 2018
Many previous DDays due to his sex addiction

Hurt me with the truth, but don't comfort me with a lie.

Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.

posts: 830   ·   registered: Nov. 26th, 2018   ·   location: CA
id 8676525
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Ratpicker ( Member #57986) posted at 6:41 PM on Sunday, July 18th, 2021

Ogrelover Shit4brains

Road of life is paved with dead squirrels who couldn't make a decision.

posts: 573   ·   registered: Mar. 25th, 2017   ·   location: moved on from Georgia
id 8676587
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Justsomeguy ( Member #65583) posted at 1:38 AM on Monday, July 19th, 2021

I have to keep the EX in the contact list as we are coparenting. I may have added a hippo as a profile pic though...couldn't find a decent dragon pic.

Me:53STBXWW:51DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off.Denied having an affair in court papers.

posts: 1110   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8676631
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ashesofkali ( Member #56327) posted at 1:24 PM on Monday, July 19th, 2021

Fuckface McCheaterpants

I'm a fBW, 51, no kids. My xWH had a LTA. I chose D because he was never sorry. Life is way better on this side of infidelity.

posts: 123   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2016   ·   location: WA
id 8676673
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grubs ( Member #77165) posted at 2:28 PM on Monday, July 19th, 2021

Never bothered to change it. I don't think we've used the phone or texted each other since DDay. I was ignoring non-divorce IMs and email past then also but that was our primary means of communication through the D. I maybe send or receive an email from her every few years.

posts: 733   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8676683
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