Newest Member: Beschaedigt

HeartFullOfHoles

BH - Tried to R for too long, now happily divorced D-Day 4/28-29/2012 (both 48 at the time) Two adult daughters

Psychology experiments?

Maybe it's just me, but it sure feels like there are a bunch of overly fantastic JFO or other posts by people who post a few times and then just disappear. I do understand they may not be ready to hear the advice given or feel they are not getting the support they want and leave, but at least to me, many of these posts have story lines that just don't add up and I find it sad that we as a community spend time on these high drama posts that have some likelihood of being fabricated.

I'm not certain how you vet a post because it seems to actually give them support we have to just taking a leap of faith and take them at their word. Which I do believe is the correct thing to do. Just musing after reading a couple specific posts in JFO.

25 comments posted: Monday, March 14th, 2022

Ex in your contacts list

I have always kept my ex under her real name and no special song, etc. in my contacts, though at times I certainly have been tempted. As I get closer to the point where I will legally never have to interact with her again I'm trying to decide should I just delete/block her number or put it under a special name (e.g. giving a French flair Voldemorte => "She who shall not be named").

Part of the reason for this is she is next to my sister and I have twice almost called her when trying to call my sister. Unlikely to accidentally dial Voldemorte . Thoughts?

28 comments posted: Friday, July 16th, 2021

Dating a WS?

Given the prevalence of cheating it seems that sooner or later we will find a WS sitting across the table from us trying to start a relationship. I think I would be okay if they were remorseful and had done the IC needed to become a safe partner, but their BS just couldn’t live with what they had done or if they came to this place after divorcing. What terrifies me is having someone like my ex sitting across the table who has no problem rewriting their history. The type of person who has no issue with outright lies to get what they want.

The first problem is how do you detect them? As many of us know an unrepentant WS can be very accomplished at deception and lying.

And second how do you get out of the relationship without teaching them how to deceive better in the future?

I appreciate honesty and want to be honest in return, but if my honesty allows them to learn to deceive better that’s also a really bad outcome. At times it makes me want to just be single the rest of my life.

Thoughts?

26 comments posted: Monday, June 28th, 2021

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