Newest Member: username3016

General :
Things we have in common

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Gendermale (original poster New Member #78935) posted at 12:04 AM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

There are so many of the same excuses I read on here.

We're just friends

I think he's gay

I did nothing wrong

I don't remember that. (Well you wrote the email)

The list goes on and on.

Feel free to add

posts: 13   ·   registered: Jun. 10th, 2021
id 8675627
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landclark ( Member #70659) posted at 12:58 AM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

We were disconnected.

Me: BW Him: WH (GuiltAndShame) Dday 05/19/19 with TT through August
One child together, 3 stepchildren
Together 13.5 years, married 12.5 First EA was 4 months into marriage. Last ended 05/19/19.

posts: 1911   ·   registered: May. 29th, 2019
id 8675642
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Mr. Kite ( Member #28840) posted at 1:02 AM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

"I thought you didn't love me any more."

But my favorite is, "If I tell you all of the truth you'll divorce me for sure."

"Looks like I've been fooled again.
Looks like I'm the fool again.
I don't like it, I don't like it." Tom Petty - Fooled Again

posts: 1112   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2010   ·   location: Mid-Atlantic
id 8675643
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 Gendermale (original poster New Member #78935) posted at 1:12 AM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

OMG "I thought you didn't love me any more

She told me that last night

posts: 13   ·   registered: Jun. 10th, 2021
id 8675650
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beb252 ( Member #78948) posted at 1:18 AM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

You were ignoring my needs.

posts: 375   ·   registered: Jun. 14th, 2021
id 8675655
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homewrecked2011 ( Member #34678) posted at 1:35 AM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

“I haven’t been happy for a long time”.

Then why did you give me lovey dovey cards and have sex with me?

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5360   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 8675661
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Nanatwo ( Member #45274) posted at 1:37 AM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

There were problems in the marriage.

Guess he thought having an affair would solve those problems

Time heals what reason cannot. Seneca

First the truth. Then, maybe, reconciliation. Louise Penny

posts: 553   ·   registered: Oct. 18th, 2014   ·   location: Indiana
id 8675662
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rugswept ( Member #48084) posted at 2:03 AM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

I couldn't tell you because I didn't want to hurt you.

R'd (rug swept everything) decades ago.
I'm big on R. Very happy marriage but can never forget.

posts: 956   ·   registered: Jun. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: Northeast US
id 8675673
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WhoTheBleep ( Member #49504) posted at 2:08 AM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

If I tell you all of the truth you'll divorce me for sure."

And who says cheaters don't tell the truth?

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4358   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8675675
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fournlau ( Member #71803) posted at 2:15 AM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

We were living as roomates.

I thought you didn't love me anymore.

I loved you but I wasn't sure I was still 'in love' with you, and I don't know about you, but I think there's a difference.

I was lonely.

I was alone.

You never called me.

posts: 282   ·   registered: Oct. 10th, 2019
id 8675678
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psychmom ( Member #47498) posted at 2:33 AM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

“I didn’t think you’d find out.”

BS (me); fWH (both 50+; married 20 yr at the time; 2 DD
DDay 1- 9/13/2014 (EA)- 3+ yrs
DDay 2- 10/24/2014(PA2)-July'14-Sept'14
DDay 3- 11/12/2014(PA1)-Oct-Feb '14
Reconciled

posts: 4246   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2015   ·   location: A state of unrest
id 8675682
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EllieKMAS ( Member #68900) posted at 2:46 AM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

"If I was able to fall in love with someone else, then I'm not sure I love you."

"If you'd just get to know her you'd like her."

"You better get on board with the fact that I need to have romantic and sexual relationships with other women."

"She's into you too, so I think you two should go on a date."

"When are you going to get over this?"

Said to me by my (essentially unemployed as he was not taking a paycheck) xwh about the 18yo he was dryhumping at work while trying to convince me to be okay with a polyamorous marriage and expecting me to bankroll his bullshit.

The only cure for stupid that advanced is divorcing it cus it sure as shit ain't legal to run it over with a car.

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3138   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8675687
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stubbornft ( Member #49614) posted at 2:51 AM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

"You don't understand - it isn't sexual"

um. sex isn't sexual?

Me: BS 40
Him: WS 51
He cheated with massage parlor sex workers
Dday 01/19/2021

posts: 801   ·   registered: Sep. 14th, 2015   ·   location: TX
id 8675691
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The1stWife ( Member #58832) posted at 10:47 AM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

The cheater is so stupid to believe it’s “love” with the AP — when it’s really just infatuation

The AP understands me - gets me

You didn’t support me (that’s right I’m not supporting anyone who is going to lie and cheat)

I thought you didn’t love me anymore

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 10519   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8675733
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Thumos ( Member #69668) posted at 1:03 PM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

GenderMale,

Putting up with the lame justifications and excuses offered by a wayward spouse is no way to live.

Did you ever do any of the things we recommended or read any of the books we listed?

Did your wife?

To recollect:

Get a couple of VARs and begin recording in her car and where she puts on makeup.

See an attorney so you at least understand divorce and separation and aren’t blindsided

Ask your WW to write down a timeline of the affair, a long narrative, and then tell her she will need to take a polygraph to verify the timeline.

Ask your WW to take an STD test. If she didn’t have sex, she should have no problem doing this. If she balks you have your answer

Tell her you need her to turn over her phone so you can run retrieval software on it. If she’s unwilling, you have your answer.

Those with nothing to hide, hide nothing

Did she write a timeline? Have you scheduled a polygraph? STD test?

Did you read “How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair” or “No More Mr. Nice Guy”?

"True character is revealed in the choices a human being makes under pressure. The greater the pressure, the deeper the revelation, the truer the choice to the character's essential nature."

BH (me): 50, WW: 49
Married: Feb. 1996
DDAY: Dec. 20

posts: 4217   ·   registered: Feb. 5th, 2019   ·   location: UNITED STATES
id 8675753
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Stayinghopefull ( Member #57957) posted at 1:22 PM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

Nothing happened.....

posts: 66   ·   registered: Mar. 23rd, 2017
id 8675754
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Chaos ( Member #61031) posted at 4:51 PM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

"an old friend from High School"

"She's a Grandmother for goodness sake"

"she laughed at my jokes"

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3264   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8675803
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The1stWife ( Member #58832) posted at 5:12 PM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

You don’t make me happy.

It is never my job to make anyone happy - that is in that person. My role as a spouse is to add to your happiness with love and support and kindness etc.

Too bad so many cheaters use that kind b/c it says to me they are just not happy with themselves or their life and they will forever be searching for it - and never truly have a long lasting relationship b/c eventually they will become “unhappy”.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 10519   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8675809
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Chaos ( Member #61031) posted at 5:14 PM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

Can't believe I forgot my favorite [after DDay1]

I was only with her to so she wouldn't ruin your life.

I asked him "let me get this straight - you were fu*king HER to protect ME?"

Yes. He said. That's it!

O...M...G...

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3264   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8675810
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J707 ( Member #63778) posted at 5:16 PM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

I haven't been happy in a long time

You haven't been happy in a long time

You never loved me

You yelled at me on Dday (apparently I'm not allowed to have emotions)

You would really like him, the kids do (the kids didn't)

We weren't a family (what?)

You think I'm a no good lazy stoner that doesn't contribute to the household chores

^^^This is actually true. I did everything. She had tons of energy to go screw other people though. Must of been well rested

posts: 1104   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2018   ·   location: Ca
id 8675811
Topic is Sleeping.
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