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Newest Member: desperadoNdidnotNo

General :
Ohforanewme is gone from this world

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gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 12:54 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

This is so flipping sad - I'm bawling like a 3yo reading this.

I was so thrilled that he and MMS were getting married (how amazing to meet someone at the supermarket?)

I'm grateful for his presence on SI and pray for his family's healing.

M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived

It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies

posts: 3828   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2018
id 8466671
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20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 12:55 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

Aww I hope he enjoying a robust, healthy afterlife!

What a nice man he was!

BW, 54 WH 53 When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2199   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8466672
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BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 1:28 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

This is heartbreaking. I’m not surprised but still very sad. His strength and resilience was truly inspirational. It really was. RIP Ohforanewme. You will be missed.

Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide

posts: 3431   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2014
id 8466682
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 1:35 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

Oh, shit. Rest in peace, Ohfor. You have been a blessing to so many. Those on your physical life and those connected through the internet. May your family remember all of those good times and generous actions with you and from you and be blessed by them.

BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4719   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8466685
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 1:42 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

The words to express my feelings escape me. There might be no words.

Squid pretty much nailed it.

I too think of internet friendships as the long distance friendships of long ago, except with the instant gratification and conversational tone of in person friendships. No less real, and now capable of becoming close very quickly.

I knew what our friend was facing, but my mind couldn't imagine such a gift leaving us. I kept my hope alive.

Now, my hope is that I will meet my friend in person, when I arrive where he is...if I should be so fortunate.

I miss you, OhFor. This is really really tough to process.

Huge hugs to MMS and his beautiful children and family. And to all of you SIers who loved him.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4526   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8466687
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susieque2 ( member #49694) posted at 1:50 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

Peace to you my dear fellow being --- you will be missed but know

that your eloquent words will be with us as long

as we can read them ---

I will never forget your courage and beautiful spirit that you shared

with us ----

Much love and healing to the ones who loved you most and best ---

We are all spiritual beings having a human experience!

posts: 450   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2015   ·   location: The World
id 8466691
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Stevesn ( member #58312) posted at 1:51 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

What a truly great man. I am heartbroken for him and his family. I will be thinking of them all for a long time.

fBBF. Just before proposing, broke it off after her 2nd confirmed PA in 2 yrs. 9 mo later I met the wonderful woman I have spent the next 30 years with.

posts: 3684   ·   registered: Apr. 17th, 2017
id 8466692
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Sharkman ( member #56818) posted at 1:56 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

This was deviating news for me. He and I became friends outside of the awful spectre of the tragedy of infidelity.

We would communicate often about the most random topics, his ADD was a worthy match for mine. I will miss him a lot.

posts: 1788   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2017
id 8466694
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Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 2:13 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

A tragic loss of such a warm, caring man. RIP, Ohfor.

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 9059   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 8466696
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rambler ( member #43747) posted at 2:52 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

So sorry to hear and a great loss to so many.

making it through

posts: 1423   ·   registered: Jun. 17th, 2014   ·   location: Chicago
id 8466710
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 Odonna (original poster member #38401) posted at 3:45 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

All I want to do is send another PM... As if he might answer yet again.

posts: 978   ·   registered: Feb. 8th, 2013   ·   location: Northern Virginia
id 8466727
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DebraVation ( member #51156) posted at 11:29 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

I am so sorry to read this, one of the people who always had a good insight to offer others. x

posts: 1611   ·   registered: Jan. 6th, 2016   ·   location: UK
id 8466771
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 12:21 PM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

All I want to do is send another PM... As if he might answer yet again.

:

Same. ((ODonna)))

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4526   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8466781
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Wool94 ( member #53300) posted at 1:01 PM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

He was quite verbose: I’d get a pm and know I needed to grab a glass of wine, get my reading glasses and settle in😂

I don't drink, but I know this feeling.

I always felt that my replies to his PMs were so inadequate.

Such a kind man that if you got to know him you learned a lot about him.

He told me of so many places that I needed to see.

I knew this was coming but my heart is still breaking.

D-Day #1: April 7, 2016
D-Day #2: May 21, 2016
D-Day #3: June 7, 2016
Me: 1975
Her:WW (amn8r) 1981
Son 2006
Daughter 2009
"God not only loves you, but He actually likes you. "-Stephen Hooks

"My faith is mine now."

posts: 3818   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2016   ·   location: Roll Tide Country 🇺🇸
id 8466795
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 Odonna (original poster member #38401) posted at 5:27 PM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

Y'all know that he sent many of us the same messages ... and also sometimes posted them. I never minded, because if he worked that hard on a word-picture I figured it should be shared widely.

But he was enamored of language, as am I, and I treasure our PM conversations.

For those who have asked, I do not have contact information for the family. I hope MMS eventually will stop in here and see how much OhFor was appreciated and loved.

posts: 978   ·   registered: Feb. 8th, 2013   ·   location: Northern Virginia
id 8466930
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hansvoleman ( member #55284) posted at 6:21 PM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

A true gentleman of the old school, OhFor will always be one of my heros for showing me what decisiveness and action looks like in the face of two unthinkable adversaries. I will really miss his words and his wisdom.

My condolences to his family.

[This message edited by hansvoleman at 12:22 PM, November 12th (Tuesday)]

When you cheat the first person you betray is yourself.

posts: 150   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2016   ·   location: UK
id 8466967
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squid ( member #57624) posted at 6:40 PM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

Odanna,

All I want to do is send another PM... As if he might answer yet again.

Me too.

I PM'd him last Monday, not really expecting him to respond. I just hope he read it.

I love that his words and energy will live on in the archives of SI.

BH
D-Day 2.19.17
Divorced 12.10.18

This isn’t what any of us signed up for. But it is the hand that we have been dealt. Thus, we must play it.

posts: 2597   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2017   ·   location: Central Florida
id 8466980
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Marie2792 ( member #44958) posted at 8:50 PM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

This is sad news. I hope that his family knows what a treasure he is to us here at SI. Also now terribly he will be missed.

Me: BS,48 (41 at dday)Him: WS, 56 (49 at dday)Married 27 years, together 30 Dday : 9/9/14 3 week PA

posts: 4857   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 8467022
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OrdinaryDude ( member #55676) posted at 9:53 PM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

I lack the words to do him justice.

He will he missed very much.

I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.

posts: 3427   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8467052
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OneInTheSame ( member #49854) posted at 11:51 PM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019

So sorry to read this news.

(I edit to correct typos)
I am the BS in a lesbian marriage. My WW's ex-girlfriend was the AP.
D-day of the 6 mo A was 10/04/15
We are doing okay, but by now I wanted it to be better

posts: 2535   ·   registered: Oct. 6th, 2015   ·   location: Pacific Northwest
id 8467102
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