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Oh this breaks my heart. I’ve been reading Ohfor since the first day he posted, remained a lurker but always followed his journey. I was always in awe with how much love and comfort he still had to offer despite the heartache he himself experienced. As a BS myself, I just read his words to further help me. Teaching me to be a better person with his positive outlook at it all. I was giddy that day he went to the supermarket and I was devastated when he got word on his health. But thrilled again knowing he found true happiness again and then deeply sadden to hear that his physical journey has ended but his spiritual journey has now just kicked into second gear. My condolences to MMS and his two perfect humans. I wish them comfort and peace knowing he touched more lives then many do. I lay here crying for a stranger I’ve never spoken to directly but have admired from afar.

Thanks Odonna for keeping us all informed on this soulful human. Sending you and Squid comfort.

It is my belief that the very best of us as human beings is the expression of compassion. We just get no better than this. Ohforanewme was a man for whom the regular expression of compassion was a part of his nature. a singular human being. A man who stayed grateful despite overwhelming odds. A man who loved fiercely and was loved fiercely in return. Thank you, Ohforanewme for giving of yourself so that we could benefit from the light you shone on all of us.

Albert Einstein said: "A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

Ohforanewme, by this definition, you were truly free.

I am so sorry to hear this. Ohforanewme has been a good friend to many here. I would have very much liked to have known him in real life. Knowing that he was surrounded by love in the end - with a new bride and family near - brings me joy. I’ll miss you Ohfor!

He sent me some audio files of him just talking to me and telling stories. I went back to listen but it was too emotional. Maybe later.

A close colleague of mine is now in hospice care, too, and in her last days. Life is full of loss. I just keep repeating to myself that the pain is proportional to the love, which I would not want to have missed.

Ohforanewme you beautiful soul. Proof that love is luminous and reaches everywhere, touches everyone. Kindness, courage, compassion, wisdom, tenderness, humility all were languages you spoke effortlessly. You showed the best of humanity in a man. You were a light and a guide to others.

Beautiful spirit you are so loved and missed. We are forever grateful that you came to be with us and gave us your precious gift of yourself and you lifted us up to see who we really are, what is possible for us. Thank you.

I'm not here often anymore, but am beyond sad to see this news. You'll be sorely missed Ohfor! RIP.

[This message edited by WowItsReallyReal at 12:43 AM, November 19th (Tuesday)]

I was hoping to write something beautiful and eloquent about this man, but everything I wrote seemed inadequate. What could I say that would do this man justice? I always felt that he was actually speaking to me and not just at me. As a BS, he could have told me to justifiably get lost. Despite that, and while going through some of the hardest experiences that a human can face, he still showed me compassion. In fact, his final message to me was one of love and kindness. Despite being mere days away from passing, the true nature of this man was still so very evident.

I will miss you my friend. I hope you are at peace.

O

hforanewme you beautiful soul. Proof that love is luminous and reaches everywhere, touches everyone. Kindness, courage, compassion, wisdom, tenderness, humility all were languages you spoke effortlessly. You showed the best of humanity in a man. You were a light and a guide to others.

Beautiful spirit you are so loved and missed. We are forever grateful that you came to be with us and gave us your precious gift of yourself and you lifted us up to see who we really are, what is possible for us. Thank you.

Pureheartkit said it perfectly. We will never forget this beautiful soul. Although he physically is no longer here, his example of pure love will live on in the hearts of his children, his wife who he loved so dearly and his family and friends, many of whom are on SI. We were so lucky to have known such a person.. I feel sad but blessed.

I'm so sad to know this. I have not frequented here in a long time, and I have not posted for even longer. It is so sad to know he is gone, but I am glad to know that he no longer suffers. I am so happy to have heard that he married before leaving the earth, and that he found happiness and love. He became my adopted South African Uncle, and I will remember him and his words for every. I hope his after-life, whatever that may be is as beautiful as his words have been.

To MMS and Ohforanewme's children:

I'm sorry for your lost. Ohforanewme was such a kind and compassionate person. He will be missed by many here.

I only lurk on here and read the advice given; this news me so sad when I first read it. Ohfor was finding happiness and joy again in life and then something as cruel as cancer came along and took his future wonderful years away. It seems so unfair as life so often is. But this weekend I reread his original JFO thread and it struck me that what had happened was that he was actual given those additional years because a caring compassionate coworker saw he was actually in distress and considering suicide and got him the help he needed.

His story is one of how happiness can be gained in time when one has people helping them through the pain of infidelity. I will miss his posts and his wonderful way with words even if I didn't always agree with them. Much peace to his family especially DD who he always talked about with such pride and love. She sounded like a total daddy's girl. I am so glad they got an extra two and half years of memories that will sustain them a lifetime.

Thank you for sharing this news with us. I sometimes wonder what happens to posters who just disappear especially ones who have tried to pay it forward. I hope MMS knows how much he tried to help people here and how grateful they were.

I will never forget him.

Ohfor spent the last two-plus years sending post cards from all over the world to my daughter when she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. The post cards would arrive truly in a way that cannot be explained other than through divine intervention. A challenging day, an upcoming (and still terrifying) scan, it just never failed that his cards arrived at just the right moment.

We got the last one a few weeks ago. It breaks my heart to know there won’t be more, but that’s just the selfish part of me talking. He was such an incredible soul, and I’m honored to have known him.

I read of his death in a hotel room in New York City, sitting beside my now-turning 13 year old daughter. This trip that I took her on was at least in part because of ohfor inspiring me with his travels with his own family. Every time I see a post card, I think of him.

I had to rush to the bathroom to cry when I read the news. I didn’t want to upset my daughter... I still haven’t found the words to tell her that he’s gone. She knows he’s been sick.

I’m just heartbroken. I tried to send him a PM on our last thread together but it wouldn’t go through. I have no idea why I wanted to send one more message...

To his wife and children, know that he was so loved, and that I will be praying for all of you in the days, weeks, and years to come. He was a beautiful soul.

I just logged in for the first time in about 4 months today and found a long and heartfelt message in my PM inbox that was sent to me in late October from ohfor.

He and I had been communicating for a long time, offering support and encouragement. The messages between us had all but stopped around a year ago, but every 3 or 4 months I check anyway. This last message had an urgent tone... he wanted to tell me about his upcoming wedding, and how much our communication had meant to him. He said he "needed to get it" to me, and that he hoped I'd one say see it.

He definitely knew that the end was coming. I just wish I had the chance to respond and say goodbye.

I'm going to miss him.