SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Friends —

I just learned that our friend died early Wednesday morning, South Africa time, with his family all around him. I last heard from him Sunday, and of course we know that he was gloriously wed on Friday. Just weeks and months ago he went on marvelous vacations with DD and MMS. So his final decline came on very quickly, which I know was a relief for him, primarily because he did not want his loved ones to suffer.

Internet friendships are a new phenomenon, but given that they are mediated almost exclusively with words, they hark back to correspondence of the 1800s in that everything important to say to someone has to be packed into just the right words.

Our friend had just the right words, whether he was painting word pictures here for us about his journey, or corresponding privately with several of us. He had a great talent and skill for making himself truly known.

I have lost a friend that I will remember all my life.

Odonna

Your last sentence sums up my feelings quite nicely.

He was truly unique among men. His compassion, humanity and his ability to truly connect with you through his words was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. His last PM to me was inspiring and kind; typical for him despite what he was going through.

I will truly miss you my friend. My heart is broken.

I was so afraid of this news.

I am devastated.

So sorry to hear this.

He knew he was not long for the world, so he packed in all of the important things into his last year. Those in his life need not have any doubts about how much he loved them.

Those of us here on SI got to experience a man that was hard to compare. His words were poetic. His sentiments clear. He is most definitely a man to be remembered.

I am sad to hear this news, but calmed knowing that he got his world in order before he left. His kids have their support system and future security mapped out for them. I doubt if he left any stone unturned.

And, I will always remember that last post, where he stated he was ecstatic on his wedding day. Can you imagine how much joy this must have given him, knowing he was close to passing, but happy happy happy? And he saw celestial beings. I have a gut feeling that this was not just a turn of a phrase, but a reality to him that allowed him to let go.

I have tears, but not all of them are sad tears. Ohforanewme gave in his life more than most of us will ever approach.

Rest in Peace beautiful soul.

[This message edited by JanetS at 9:26 AM, November 11th (Monday)]

I am so sorry to hear this.

I loved reading his posts. God bless him and his family.

The colleague who informed me also said:

I know that he asked MMS to pass on his gratitude to the internet community that lent him support through some of the difficult times after he discovered his wife's adultery.

I don’t know whether MMS will be able to do that, so I wanted to pass on what I know was his sincere appreciation of his friends here.

Thank you for posting this Odonna - I think my heart knew this and thoughts of him have been with me for days. I'm not able to express my thoughts very well right now...I hope to revisit with a few words that might attempt to celebrate that beautiful spirit of his.

My heart breaks. What an amazing man with an endless capacity to love and he created magic with his words. I am truly grieving for a man I never met yet his gifts so positively impacted my life.

Just offering my thoughts and prayers to those of you hurting. In this world of SI we form meaninguful connections. In so many ways we are our truest selves; stripped down to nothing, hurting, honest, transparent, and if lucky, we see the otherside that involves healing and new beginnings. Granted, some choose to stay completely anonymous and others share names, phone numbers, meet up etc. Regardless of the extent, we invest in people and therefore news like this hurts. Sending hugs to all of you as you process, grieve, and heal from missing your friend.

I had a very bad feeling I'd log in today and see this post. I hope it can be passed onto his family how much this community will miss him.

His post in JFO was one of the first I read on here and I followed his story from there. I rarely commented as he was ahead of me in terms of his healing and I used his posts as an example of where I wanted to be.

He truly deserved all the happiness he received. His wisdom, compassion and kindness to those in pain will be missed on here.

This is one person I did not know of until these last few days, whose troubles and overcoming them were all before my connection with this site. I can, however, feel just how much he was special to all with his words and life. This is so sad to hear and his loss is felt even by those who knew he was good but never had the pleasure of knowing him.

RIP Ohfor. My condolences to his family and friends.

This breaks my heart!!

Ohfor wasn't just a special person here on SI but he was also one of the most unique individuals I've ever come across in my 50+ yrs.

He was ALL about love.

Didn't just talk it but walked it every day.

I know he touched my life and for that I am SO GRATEFUL!!

Thinking about his family right now.

Rest in peace my friend.

Very sad to read the news of his passing. Bittersweet to have found a new love near the end of his life.

Thank you for updating and I am very sorry for your loss.

In this beautiful community of shared sorrows, I know that one of its brightest lights has just left us. My words are failing me now. At this time, though, we must not forget his MMS. We each will miss Ohforanewme in our particular lives, but ours is a tiny fraction of her incalculable loss - her new husband! Thank you MMS for bringing joy and love to him in his final journey, and may you find comfort as you go forward without him.

I read a bit of the engagement thread and what was going on. This is very heartbreaking news.

Internet friendships are a new phenomenon, but given that they are mediated almost exclusively with words, they hark back to correspondence of the 1800s in that everything important to say to someone has to be packed into just the right words.

I agree. Some people think online friends are fake or not as real as in-person. I've found this to not be the true through my life, as I've met (and lost to illness) some very wonderful people online over the years.

My condolences for the loss of your friend Odonna, and to others.

He was a hero. He stepped in for a child who needed him. He found a new love and married her so that all his loves are stitched together through his.

This post is so painful to read because I hoped beyond hope that he would find a miracle.

Have a glorious journey, Ohfor.

This is devastating but at least it sounds like his last week was amazing. He is loved and will be greatly missed.

So sad to read this. Prayers to his family, friends, and all who loved him.