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I Can Relate :
Betrayed Womenz Thread

Topic is Sleeping.
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HeHadADoubleLife ( member #68944) posted at 7:40 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

I didn’t see what he posted in JFO before it was deleted, was driving to work.

I can’t imagine it was anything good though.

So glad she’s out of there!

BW
DDay Nov 2018
Many previous DDays due to his sex addiction

Hurt me with the truth, but don't comfort me with a lie.

Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.

posts: 830   ·   registered: Nov. 26th, 2018   ·   location: CA
id 8426012
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 7:43 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

8pm toast!

Me too - he's a ticking time bomb. And that's all on him.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3269   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8426013
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 8:15 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

@Tallgirl IDK. I didn't see it either that is why I was asking here. And, wondering if it was threatening or concilatory? ((((coco)))) Is it triggering you? I am sorry. I can imagine how this can be bringing trauma feelings to the surface for some.

We have also had very crazy shit happen here just over the time I have been here. And, back in the day, we heard about the crazy shit that happened way in the beginning days of SI. They always are able to handle it very well here, though. Best Admins/Mods of any site.

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 8426035
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emergent8 ( member #58189) posted at 8:38 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

SMS- I read it before it was deleted. I'm not sure if I'm able to post it here. Can PM you if you like. It wasn't any thing crazy (unlike his other posts).

Me: BS, Him: WS. Mid-late 30s.
Together 15 years, married 5 (11 m at D-Day).
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Currently 4 years (and two kids) into R and optimistic.

posts: 616   ·   registered: Apr. 7th, 2017
id 8426058
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 8:40 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Is it triggering you? I am sorry. I can imagine how this can be bringing trauma feelings to the surface for some.

I do feel triggered, but I don't know why. I have never been physically abused, nor have I ever witnessed DV. I've never actually witnessed any violence irl unless you count my dad giving a spanking when I was young.

I saw her post in general. She's safe, thank goodness. He's in jail!

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8426061
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TX1995 ( member #58175) posted at 8:41 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

((Scooby)) Just got on here today and saw your WH's post and came straight here looking for you, so I'm so glad to hear you have a plan and are safe! I'll be thinking of you. Please keep someone posted through pm.

Toast at 8 p.m.! I need to head to the liquor store...

I'm the BS. WH had a 3 month EA/PA with a cOW. DDay was 4/17. Working on R. Married 15 years and together 20 at DDay.
DDay #2 and #3 6/19. Grew a conscience and admitted a full blown physical affair. Now in limbo.

posts: 983   ·   registered: Apr. 6th, 2017   ·   location: Texas
id 8426064
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Scoobydoo ( member #70007) posted at 8:44 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Mind if I just drink the bottle instead of a glass?

Holy shit I need it tonight 🍾

Thank you ladies I really am so very grateful to each & everyone one of you

Sorry but

Fuck fuck fuck I thought he was going to kill me,

My poor fucking kids, They didn’t even recognise their own dad ffs 😢

Sorry for cursing 🤬

Toooo many Dday's over 27 yrs,
Separated from Scooby 'Dum' 19/08/2019

Before you diagnose yourself with depression, or low self esteem,
First make sure you are not surrounded by an Asshole/s.

posts: 269   ·   registered: Mar. 11th, 2019
id 8426067
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HeHadADoubleLife ( member #68944) posted at 8:52 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

If ever there was a time for cursing, it’s now!

We should all let out a collective FUCK! for you as part of our toast

So happy to hear you are safe.

FYI I know foreverlabeled mentioned it in your post on General, but just FYI just because your husband’s account was banned doesn’t mean he can’t read here, so be careful to safeguard any information you wouldn’t want him knowing.

We’re still here for support, but anything he shouldn’t know, even if you’re on the fence of whether or not to keep it private, stick to PMs for that.

BW
DDay Nov 2018
Many previous DDays due to his sex addiction

Hurt me with the truth, but don't comfort me with a lie.

Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.

posts: 830   ·   registered: Nov. 26th, 2018   ·   location: CA
id 8426077
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TX1995 ( member #58175) posted at 8:56 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Curse away! I'm SO fucking glad that you are okay. You have awesome kids. You were all so brave in the face of some crazy ass shit!

I'm the BS. WH had a 3 month EA/PA with a cOW. DDay was 4/17. Working on R. Married 15 years and together 20 at DDay.
DDay #2 and #3 6/19. Grew a conscience and admitted a full blown physical affair. Now in limbo.

posts: 983   ·   registered: Apr. 6th, 2017   ·   location: Texas
id 8426078
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northeasternarea ( member #43214) posted at 8:57 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Glad you are ok, Scooby.

The only person you can change is yourself.

posts: 4263   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2014
id 8426081
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DevastatedDee ( member #59873) posted at 9:21 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

OMG Scooby, I cannot imagine. I think we all felt that your life was in danger. I can't imagine how hard and terrifying this day has been for you. A whole bottle is more than okay after this crap. Did he ever actually find you?

DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).

posts: 4479   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2017
id 8426095
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DevastatedDee ( member #59873) posted at 9:21 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

double post

[This message edited by DevastatedDee at 3:21 PM, August 23rd (Friday)]

DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).

posts: 4479   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2017
id 8426097
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Scoobydoo ( member #70007) posted at 9:57 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Yes, the police took me back to my house once the plan was in place.

They needed more before they could arrest him, i was the bait 🤔!

I had to forcefully get between policemen & my kids as they wanted them out of the house but they refused to go.

He aimed his loaded crossbow at me, which is when all hell broke lose.

My kids came running the police were going mad & then I’m buried beneath them all in my back garden, we all have a few tender spots but nothing to what it could of been,

None of us knew he’d been hiding in the shed.

My poor fucking kids, they are literally shell shocked 😨

Toooo many Dday's over 27 yrs,
Separated from Scooby 'Dum' 19/08/2019

Before you diagnose yourself with depression, or low self esteem,
First make sure you are not surrounded by an Asshole/s.

posts: 269   ·   registered: Mar. 11th, 2019
id 8426125
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 10:02 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

OM FUCKING GEE! Awful. I am so glad you are safe. Disturbing to say the least.

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 8426128
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Scoobydoo ( member #70007) posted at 10:09 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

We have all had some counselling tonight with more to come in the coming days.

I’m done on tonight so we’ve set up camp in my lounge for us all to be together

Speak to everyone soon & thank you again for all your support it means a lot to us all

Xx

[This message edited by Scoobydoo at 4:14 PM, August 23rd (Friday)]

Toooo many Dday's over 27 yrs,
Separated from Scooby 'Dum' 19/08/2019

Before you diagnose yourself with depression, or low self esteem,
First make sure you are not surrounded by an Asshole/s.

posts: 269   ·   registered: Mar. 11th, 2019
id 8426131
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DevastatedDee ( member #59873) posted at 10:29 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

OMFG!!!! I am SO GLAD you're safe and I sincerely hope he has to stay in jail for quite a long while. This is horrific. I know your kids are absolutely freaked out.

DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).

posts: 4479   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2017
id 8426147
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 10:47 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Holy shit scooby. So so sorry. And so so grateful.

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8426166
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gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 11:10 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

First. A resounding FUCK on behalf of ScoobyDoo.

Second. A resounding FUCK on behalf of all the BWs of the world

Third. Scooby- I would highly recommend some EMDR if you can swing it. I was able to do a session 3 days after my WH hung himself and I think it helped me a LOT, especially being able to do it when the trauma was so “fresh”. Just an idea.

Fourth: I’m waaaay ahead of you on the toast. Have a wonderful happy hour at a fancy place in my city. $6 wine and 1/2 off apps. I’ve got my glass and scallops. Yum.

Oh and it’s a clear 80 degrees with a light breeze at an OUTDOOR bar. This moment is good

[This message edited by gmc94 at 5:17 PM, August 23rd, 2019 (Friday)]

M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived

It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies

posts: 3373   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2018
id 8426180
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TX1995 ( member #58175) posted at 11:11 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Man, what a day for you Scooby. Glad the police were there and that no one got hurt.

I have had a lot of triggers today. Had to drive to the area where my WH works and now everytime I'm there I'm just wondering where he went with his cOWhore that I don't know about. Anyone else like that? I don't even wonder where he was sexually with her, just ANYWHERE. Like restaurants they had lunch at, etc. I feel like I want him to make me a list of any place they have ever been so that we can go there together - so nothing he did with her he hasn't done with me. It's bizarre. Part of me wants to take him to that damn garage and have sex with him in the car - just so she wasn't the last person he had sex with in a car! Thankfully there was nothing that they did sexually that we hadn't done, so I was first, but now I want to be last. (Of course this means I'd have to want to have sex with him - and that's a hurdle!) I also want to make sure they haven't been in any city together that we haven't gone to. Unfortunately he's been to two cities with her that we haven't been to - but they are Chicago and LA, so easy enough to replicate soon. Is this normal thinking? Like I want to replace any memory he has of her with a memory of me? (Even though I don't know if I even want to stay married half the time?)

I feel like I'm going nuts. But it's nice outside tonight, so I'm going to go nuts on the lounge chair in my yard, watch some cows and have a cocktail. Now and at 8.

ETA: GMC that sounds lovely! Enjoy the scallops! I was planning on dinner out to celebrate my boy making the soccer team today but he wants to go hang out with friends. I promptly took off my dress and put on my jammies. But my undies are fancy ones.

[This message edited by TX1995 at 5:13 PM, August 23rd (Friday)]

I'm the BS. WH had a 3 month EA/PA with a cOW. DDay was 4/17. Working on R. Married 15 years and together 20 at DDay.
DDay #2 and #3 6/19. Grew a conscience and admitted a full blown physical affair. Now in limbo.

posts: 983   ·   registered: Apr. 6th, 2017   ·   location: Texas
id 8426181
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 11:57 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Scooby! OMFG! I am so glad no one got hurt! At least the police have some solid evidence against him, I guess.

GMC, that sounds lovely. It's raining here (like usual) and my fch and 15yo are at the 15yo football game.

TX, I think that's pretty normal. I've read a few threads about BPs taking back places the APs went. Thank goodness my fch didn't go anywhere I like with the MOW. We didn't permanently live where they were active, so nothing for me to reclaim. It was better for me to get away from there.

I've been asleep on the couch for a couple of hours. I think I got overwhelmed by everything and shut down.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8426205
Topic is Sleeping.
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