Newest Member: Maifurrypurt

I Can Relate :
Betrayed Womenz Thread

Topic is Sleeping.
default

cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 1:05 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Wow! I just read his posts. They are very scary! I don't know what to do.

Scooby, please let us know you are safe!

Chaos, FWIW, the mods wouldn't be able to stop him from reading here, just posting, maybe.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8425734
default

Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 1:17 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

I didn't know what they could or couldn't do - but could be on the look out. Or help her change her name or help her alter anything that he might see.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3269   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8425740
default

Scoobydoo ( member #70007) posted at 1:38 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Hi girls,

I'm ok, shocked, shook up a bit. he has lost the fucking plot.

I couldn't do anything last night, he took everything of mine so I couldn't even ring my kids ffs, I locked my door & hid away like a fucking coward

I've packed as much shit as I can carry, meant to be back Tuesday for work on Wednesday, depends if my boss will give me time off..I may stay away longer. my eldest son has got his MIL to have the twins for him Mon & Tues to free me up.

I don't mind saying fuckkkkkk I didnt see this coming!!!

I've had lots of messages, very humbling how complete strangers care for someone they have never met in person,

super proud of my kids, they literally left their jobs to be my hero's

will get in touch soon

xxx

Toooo many Dday's over 27 yrs,
Separated from Scooby 'Dum' 19/08/2019

Before you diagnose yourself with depression, or low self esteem,
First make sure you are not surrounded by an Asshole/s.

posts: 269   ·   registered: Mar. 11th, 2019
id 8425759
default

DevastatedDee ( member #59873) posted at 1:46 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

I am appalled at the bullshit he said on that thread and appalled that he is treating you like a thing. I am SO glad to hear that you're okay and that you're not alone! You know for sure that you made the right decision. My heart aches for you having to read that crap, though. The last little vestiges of love I had for my XWH died when an intake counselor at a rehab told me that he said he didn't understand why his cheating was such a big deal because it's not like he loved them or anything. That hurt like hell, and it was because I could see so clearly how not a person I was in his eyes. Bless her for telling me that, though I know she wasn't supposed to. Your WH has foolishly told you that same thing, amongst a bunch of other things that show you that he doesn't see you as an individual human being who deserves love and happiness. This is that painful clarity that none of us enjoy reaching.

You deserve a life without this controlling nonsense. I am so impressed with how strong you are.

DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).

posts: 4468   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2017
id 8425767
default

HeHadADoubleLife ( member #68944) posted at 1:49 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Scooby, you are absolutely not a coward! Locking yourself in your room was what you knew best to do to feel safe. Your self preservation instincts kicked in, and that is in no way cowardly!

Your husband stealing your belongings in another attempt to control you? Now THAT is cowardly!

I can't imagine how frightening it was to have no way to even contact anyone should anything go south!

See if you can get some time off approved. I promise you, any good boss will be understanding if you let them know your safety has been compromised.

And yes, big hugs to your sons for helping you get through this!

I know you've got a million things on your mind, but a few big safety things to add to your list before you return home:

- See about getting a restraining order (or whatever the UK equivalent is)

- Call around to see if you can have the locks changed (not sure if this would be legal considering you guys are still married, but can't hurt to look into it)

- Get a security system!

BW
DDay Nov 2018
Many previous DDays due to his sex addiction

Hurt me with the truth, but don't comfort me with a lie.

Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.

posts: 830   ·   registered: Nov. 26th, 2018   ·   location: CA
id 8425768
default

Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 1:54 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Oh Scooby, I am so glad you are ok.

Your husband sounded so angry, be careful. I would share this with your kids, so they understand the danger you are in.

He is not safe.

Big hugs.

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8425770
default

Dragonfly123 ( member #62802) posted at 2:36 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Scooby, I’m so glad you’re safe and have a clear plan.

Please take good care of yourself. You have all of us behind you and as has been said make sure your children are aware

Huge hugs!

When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where the power is.

posts: 1627   ·   registered: Feb. 21st, 2018
id 8425791
default

SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 4:19 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Scooby, what a scary turn of events. I am glad you have a plan and your children are supporting you. They sound like wonderful human beings, thanks to you.

I want to apologize to you, though. I wasn't aware of the DV. I would never have ever suggested that you maybe let your WH go to Mexico with you, if you had wanted to reconcile or to see if he was really committed to change. I would have told you you needed to leave him. DV hits close to home for me, for our family. I am glad that you went alone and had a blast.

My DD was a victim of DV from her husband one time. She thought she was going to die. He then held her captive for hours in the bedroom. Finally, he fell asleep (he was very drunk) and she was able to escape. No shoes, no coat and it was fall when this occurred. We live in a part of the US that gets very brutal winters and fall can be extreme, too. It was about 1:00 am. She had to leave her 3 sleeping young boys as she was afraid the ruckus of waking them to leave would awaken her abuser. Thank goodness the police station was only three blocks away. They came right away and arrested her husband and he was jailed. She hasn't seen him since, really, except for a few court dates. They were officially divorced in July.

Keep us updated if you can. Stay safe, dear lady.

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 8425881
default

EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 4:20 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

SO glad you're ok Scooby!! And so very sorry that shit went sideways like that (seriously, WTAF). I wish we knew each other IRL so you could go through this with a whole bunch of us BWs surrounding you. But please know, even if we aren't there in person, all of us are there with you in spirit!

Keep us posted and tell your amazing kids a huge thank you from EllieK for helping keep their beautiful momma safe.

Hugs honey!

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3145   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8425882
default

HeHadADoubleLife ( member #68944) posted at 5:29 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Proposing that our Friday night toast will be to Scooby tonight!

We're all here for you. And so happy you had the wherewithal to get yourself out of there! Seriously, you've got your head squarely on your shoulders and you did everything you needed to do! I know it's scary, but be proud of how you handled yourself!

BW
DDay Nov 2018
Many previous DDays due to his sex addiction

Hurt me with the truth, but don't comfort me with a lie.

Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.

posts: 830   ·   registered: Nov. 26th, 2018   ·   location: CA
id 8425916
default

Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 5:34 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

I second! Tonight's toast is for Scooby. My glass will be raised high in her honor.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3269   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8425918
default

SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 5:36 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

I have got to say, ALL you ladies on this thread here are so kick ass!

I don't feel I was as far along in my "kick assedness" as you all are in such a relatively short time from d-day!

Yep, lets all give a toast to Scooby tonight. Hope she is able to have one, too, as it is much needed after all this cray cray.

(((((((((((((((Scooby)))))))))))))))

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 8425920
default

DevastatedDee ( member #59873) posted at 5:58 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

BIG toast to Scooby!

And WTF, you ever see someone post and think that they're such an asshole that they're almost a caricature of an asshole? You sit there think "Come on man, not really though...you actually can't be that much of a c***" and yet, they apparently are. STAY SAFE.

DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).

posts: 4468   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2017
id 8425940
default

Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 6:03 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Scooby honey - he's off the rails.

I know you've involved the authorities. That is good.

You may want to show them his thread. He's even further off today than yesterday.

I don't know if where you are has a type of wellness check - but if the authorities can go and check on him - this may warrant some type of protective custody.

YOU and your children and grandchildren are first priority. But you may want to alert them and the police [not sure of your terminology] that he needs a wellness check.

Stay strong Scooby. Stay strong. You are one bad ass lady. You need to know this.

[This message edited by Chaos at 12:23 PM, August 23rd (Friday)]

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3269   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8425944
default

cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 6:25 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

So glad you are safe, Scooby, and have a plan. Your children are amazing, too!

You are not a coward! You did what you had to do to keep yourself safe. I wonder if any charges could be brought against him for taking all of your ways to contact the outside world. That's almost like holding you hostage.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8425967
default

SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 6:31 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

That's almost like holding you hostage.

Our XSIL was actually charged with false imprisonment for holding our daughter captive in the bedroom with him. ETA: USA, though.

ETA: Did anyone here read what he had posted on her JFO post?

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 12:35 PM, August 23rd (Friday)]

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 8425974
default

Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 6:37 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Just checked it out and whatever he wrote had been deleted by SI staff.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3269   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8425983
default

Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 6:37 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

Just checked it out and whatever he wrote had been deleted by SI staff.

ETA - and a Stop sign has been put on his post in Wayward [I'm speculating they didn't lock it fully in case he says something that could be used as evidence against him - and that keeping it open but limited may be a window we can see in] but again I'm only speculating].

[This message edited by Chaos at 12:40 PM, August 23rd (Friday)]

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3269   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8425984
default

cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 6:57 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

I just finished reading the threads in wayward and jfo. I am so distraught. I am crying. I never cry.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8425998
default

Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 7:34 PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019

8pm toast ladies? I am in. To Scooby, a brave and wonderful gal. Let’s post words of encouragement with our toast.

SMS, was it threatening? I am having a little inner freak out that I poured gasoline on the fire. It was not my intent.

The mods must be freaking out too. I doubt this happens often.

Coco I feel upset too.

[This message edited by Tallgirl at 1:35 PM, August 23rd (Friday)]

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8426010
Topic is Sleeping.
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.000.20210924 2002-2021 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy