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Newest Member: Seekinghelptoo

Off Topic :
Dear life, could you at least use some lube?


 HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 2:47 AM on Saturday, November 20th, 2021

I’m sitting in the ER with my 14 year old niece.

My brother and his family were in a bad wreck about an hour and a half ago. My sister in law, niece and 19 year old nephew were injured and taken to the hospital/trauma center. They were just going out to dinner and this jackwagon pulled out in front of them with no chance to stop or swerve. My nephew is the same one who has osteogenesis imperfecta and had a broken back about a year ago.

My niece is being so brave. But she’s still scared to death and in pain. Hearing the panic in my brother’s voice was awful.

I’m just so damn exhausted. I mean, seriously. What do I have to do to get a break?

Me, 54
Him, 45 (JMSSC)
Married 24 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4662   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8699413

Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 3:01 AM on Saturday, November 20th, 2021

You have had WAY more than your share to deal with! I am so sorry about the accident and hope everyone recovers soon.

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 2926   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8699417

Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 3:03 AM on Saturday, November 20th, 2021

double post, sorry

[This message edited by Jeaniegirl at 3:04 AM, Saturday, November 20th]

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 2926   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8699418

BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 3:24 AM on Saturday, November 20th, 2021

(((((((((((Hugs)))))))))) biggest hug I have. My dear you have been through it all. Sending mojo to your family and some nasty stuff to the Jack wagon.

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA
Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4374   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8699422

DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 3:46 AM on Saturday, November 20th, 2021

Oh dear hoe awful. Are they all stable? Prayers for all of you. And big hugs. Im so sorry this has happened. Please make sure you are taking care of yourself.

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22817   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8699426

 HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 4:24 AM on Saturday, November 20th, 2021

My niece has been discharged. She’s going to spend the night with my nephew’s girlfriend since they have girl clothes in her size. All of her X-rays were normal.

My nephew had X-rays and is sitting in the waiting room with a cervical collar on. He’s miserable. But I’m pretty sure he’s okay. I’m very worried about my sister in law. My brother has still not been able to see her yet.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I know it seems like I’m just all drama. I wish I was making half of this shit up.

Me, 54
Him, 45 (JMSSC)
Married 24 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4662   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8699428

BraveSirRobin ( Guide #69242) posted at 4:53 AM on Saturday, November 20th, 2021

Oh, God, HF. I'm so sorry. It seems like there are some years in each person's life where trouble keeps smashing down like waves. It's way past time for the tide to go out and give you a break.

Sending prayers for your SIL & family.

WW/BW 50s (Me)
BH/WH 50s (TimeSpiral)

posts: 2393   ·   registered: Dec. 27th, 2018
id 8699429

Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 7:52 AM on Saturday, November 20th, 2021

Oh no!!! (((HUGS))) and prayers being sent your way!!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 5821   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8699435

 HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 3:41 PM on Saturday, November 20th, 2021

Finally got news and my brother was able to go home and get a shower and a nap. My nephew has a fractured sternum with a hematoma behind the fracture. No heart or lung damage, thank God. My sister in law has a fractured sternum, several broken ribs and at least one thoracic compression fracture. They are doing an MRI to determine if that is acute or chronic since she has a mild form of osteogenesis imperfecta and osteoporosis.

I’m so grateful that none of their injuries were any more severe.

Thank you all. ❤️

Me, 54
Him, 45 (JMSSC)
Married 24 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4662   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8699456

BraveSirRobin ( Guide #69242) posted at 4:00 PM on Saturday, November 20th, 2021

So glad to hear it wasn't more serious.

WW/BW 50s (Me)
BH/WH 50s (TimeSpiral)

posts: 2393   ·   registered: Dec. 27th, 2018
id 8699459

sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:13 PM on Saturday, November 20th, 2021

I'm very sorry you and your family are going through this. I'm glad it wasn't worse.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26534   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8699460

Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 5:25 PM on Monday, November 22nd, 2021

Oh my dear woman. I am so sorry! When things settle down, can you come to NJ and I'll treat you to a spa day? smile

Your family is on my prayer list.

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8450   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8699647

 HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 6:40 PM on Wednesday, November 24th, 2021

Just an update, which is mostly positive. 😊

My sister in law went home from the hospital yesterday. She had lung contusion from the rib fractures which they were watching closely but it was improved enough for them to send her home. My nephew went home Sunday. We did find out the other driver was insured, so that’s a huge relief.

JM had surgery yesterday that was scheduled about 6 weeks ago. He had a cyst that had formed behind his eardrum after an injury that happened in 2015. The ENT he saw back then told him he had a perforation that may/may not heal and he’d be prone to infections. So because he hates going to the dr, for the past 5 years he’d call in and get antibiotic drops for ear infections every couple of months. And he’s had no hearing in the right ear at all. He finally saw a new PCP in the summer and was referred to another ENT. And this cyst had been growing and invading adjacent structures including bone and the soft tissue of the ear canal. It was also pressing on his facial nerve causing excruciating pain.

So we actually traveled about 2 hours to see this ENT surgeon and for the surgery yesterday. It went perfectly despite a potential high risk when they discovered (of course) a blood vessel that took a wrong turn into the middle of this whole mess. That vein cooperated and didn’t cause any trouble.

He woke up really badly from anesthesia, having PTSD flashbacks from his experience in Nicaragua. I had to keep telling him to look at me, that I was real and the other stuff wasn’t. That took about half an hour to pass but felt much longer. We were able to come home yesterday and had a good night sleep in our own bed.

Tomorrow will HOPEFULLY be a very quiet day for us to be thankful for each other and for our families. We have no plans for company or going anywhere and that sounds like heaven to me.

I don’t know who needs to hear this today but I’m feeling it’s important to share this. I cried, literally sobbed through church on Sunday morning. Just so much pain, grief, shock and trauma over the past 3 months and I was feeling ALL of it at once. The worship service was okay; we sang some songs I liked. But then we reached the last hymn. It is Well With My Soul. And I wanted to push back. I mean, it is NOT well with my world or with my life right now, you know? It’s hard and painful and ugly. But something shifted in me and I understood the hymn completely. It may not be well in my world but it IS absolutely well with my soul. And that is a solid rock that I can cling to until it is well with my life again.

Love to you all.


Me, 54
Him, 45 (JMSSC)
Married 24 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4662   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8699986

The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 6:51 PM on Wednesday, November 24th, 2021

Prayers for healing for everyone.

It’s ok to cry in church. I do it all the time.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 11183   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8699989

Shockedmom ( member #44708) posted at 7:43 PM on Wednesday, November 24th, 2021

Thank God they are home and able to heal together. Wishing healing and peace for their bodies, minds and souls. There is much to be thankful for right now.

posts: 1065   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2014   ·   location: Hawaii
id 8699996

Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 1:10 AM on Wednesday, December 1st, 2021

Sending positive thoughts. Hope things are getting better for you and your loved ones.

posts: 827   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: VA
id 8701901

WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 9:16 AM on Wednesday, December 1st, 2021

I’m just now seeing this. I’m so very sorry for your family’s (and your) recent trauma. So very thankful that things were no worse.

Thanks for your share regarding church. It is a huge goal "out there" for me ...for things to be "well with my soul". I’m not there yet.

I have such respect for your ability to be there despite all you have been through.

When I think of you, I remember the quote from Rose Kennedy, when she was asked how she could manage to go on with all of the tragedy in her life. And she answered, "I will not be vanquished."

Prayers for your continued strength.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7268   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8701924

pureheartkit ( member #62345) posted at 4:55 PM on Thursday, December 2nd, 2021

The whole planet, our world in turmoil right now. All this distress spilling into our lives as humans run distracted and scared. Everyday, hope for peace and clarity. Strive for wisdom instead of bad decisions under stress. We all must do this. Be kind to everyone, and try to find some calm and happiness each day. Go to nature and let your worries be blown out of your mind by the wind. Peace will come. Calm will come. Healing will come. Believe and do not fear. Listen to your heartbeat. Count your own breaths. Slow down your breathing and racing thoughts.

Ask for help for your injured loved ones. Help comes to those who ask with sincerity and humility. Don't be scared. Fear always misleads us. You are becoming stronger, wiser. Life is lessons. Keep showing love and mercy. Life will return it to you. Those you need will come into your life. I see it happening all the time all over the world.

We are in a period of awakening and renewal. Don't be scared, be grateful to take this step with everyone. I'm sorry that happened and there is pain. Pain is hard. Keep your mind on love and ask for healing.

Thank you everyone for your wisdom and healing.

posts: 2275   ·   registered: Jan. 19th, 2018
id 8702131
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