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Newest Member: Unsureofhope

Reconciliation :
Thankful Thursday

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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 8:14 PM on Saturday, May 7th, 2022

It鈥檚 not Thursday but I find that I have time to tell this story. So last weekend we canceled the camping trip but decided to go to the lake for the day, have lunch, and swim in the swimming area. It鈥檚 a Texas State Park and has a very nice sand beach swim area.

When we take our Son anywhere we have to consider and plan for many scenarios. It鈥檚 almost like we need an advance team to go and clear any distractions out of the way.
We were having a great time at the lake he took to the water very well and we enjoyed how much fun he was having. Then I saw it, a bright shiny naked ass pop out of the water 馃槷yes he took his swim suit off. I鈥檓 yelling for my W to come help me find it at the bottom of a murky lake, but it was gone. Now I鈥檓 trying to figure out how to get this skinny dipping teen out of the water in a crowded beach and to a place to get him dressed. My W is a genius, she took his shirt off and put is feet through the arms, he was able to walk out with a shirt on upside down and no one noticed. Needless to say that was an ender, we packed up and went home.

The lesson here is now to pack extra shorts and to watch what鈥檚 going on under the water, in the future. Can you imagine how confused the person will be that finds the swim suit?馃ぃ

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2031   路   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   路   location: Texas DFW
id 8734114
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 4:58 AM on Tuesday, May 10th, 2022

OMG Tanner laugh laugh laugh !!!

I am so THANKFUL I got to read this today laugh !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6346   路   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   路   location: Southeastern United States
id 8734481
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 5:04 PM on Thursday, May 12th, 2022

HAPPY Thankful Thursday everyone grin !! I hope all of your wonderful Mothers had an AWESOME Mother's Day too smile . One of my toddler grandchildren came up to me while we were celebrating Mother's Day...took a hold of my finger...and led me to play ball with them...you just can't put a price on stuff like that grin !!

TODAY is actually the 2nd day of A season for me. So I am very THANKFUL to be 8 years AWAY from that horrible time in my life smile . I NEVER thought I could find happiness again...yet here I am...happy as can be grin !!! Thank You God!!!

I am also thankful that I am starting to enjoy the fruits of my labor from my garden smile . There is nothing like fresh vegetables!!! Plus...I get to DIG holes...KILL weeds...and BURY plant roots...instead of people wink !! I kind of feel like somanyyears when I "tinkle" water all over my garden too laugh !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6346   路   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   路   location: Southeastern United States
id 8734868
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 5:08 PM on Thursday, May 12th, 2022

I am so grateful it is the month of May! Had a beautiful run through the park with my dog this morning, enjoying trampoline time with kids and walks with hubby. Loving eating outside and hosting friend on our patio. Thankful too that our M is stabilizing (still ups and downs) but making progress.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Back at it again- bantering w the younger woman. Lied about blocking phone calls and deleted texts. Carried on with her. Financial infidelity again- who says you only cheat with lovers?

posts: 902   路   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   路   location: Michigan
id 8734869
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 12:35 AM on Friday, May 13th, 2022

I鈥檓 thankful for the great weather and watching the NBA and NHL playoffs outside in the evenings. My neighbors come and hang out with us.

Glad to be closing out another week, it鈥檚 been a doozy, our water heater broke and will be next week before we get it replaced. Cold showers are exhilarating!!!!

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2031   路   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   路   location: Texas DFW
id 8734940
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ff4152 ( member #55404) posted at 12:51 AM on Friday, May 13th, 2022

Since I鈥檝e been absent from this thread for far too long (and because I got in trouble馃槀) I figure I needed to post.

Work has been a real struggle as of late but I am so thankful for my wife and child. I am truly blessed to have them both in my life.

I鈥檓 so thankful for the weather as it has allowed me to go on some amazing bike rides. It鈥檚 been a bit of a struggle hauling my old carcass about but my overall time has not suffered.

Lastly, I recently changed sports clubs. The guy at my old place turned out to be something other than he claimed. The new place has been much more welcoming and it鈥檚 definitely a nice change.

Me -FWS

posts: 1988   路   registered: Sep. 30th, 2016
id 8734942
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outofsorts ( member #70701) posted at 3:36 AM on Friday, May 13th, 2022

It's lilac season here and they are just the most amazing smelling flowers.

I'm grateful I got to stop and smell the lilacs three times today. grin

Me(BW): 40WH: 40 Married 7 years, together 20.
Dday 2/22/19 Reconciling

posts: 401   路   registered: Jun. 4th, 2019
id 8734966
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StrugglingCJ ( member #72778) posted at 9:55 AM on Friday, May 13th, 2022

Little bit late to this, but I am thankful that I survived my heart attack and am able to get back into the gym once again (not lifting what I used to but at least working out some). I am grateful for having my 4 kids around me alot of the time, even if they can drive me crazy. I am grateful for working for a company that values its employees enough that I have been under no pressure to return to the office since my heart attack. And finally I am grateful for my wife for finally starting to understand the road ahead of us.

WW caught in EA May 17
DDay Mar 19 it was full PA
Struggling for R, but still trying.

posts: 252   路   registered: Feb. 10th, 2020   路   location: Essex
id 8734990
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 11:55 PM on Thursday, May 19th, 2022

Closing out another week, had a great discussion with my W last night. We aired some grievances and hashed out some things that, not communicated, will fester and cause more problems. We both felt better getting some things on the table, like I have told her communication is healthy for the M even if it鈥檚 not all sunshine and roses. But it鈥檚 made for a great day today.

If any of you read the story of my skinny dipping Son, we found his bathing suit in the lake Sunday, two weeks later!! 馃榾

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2031   路   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   路   location: Texas DFW
id 8736065
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This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 12:12 AM on Friday, May 20th, 2022

Thankful my family and I survived COVID the last nine days. It was shockingly rough considering it's omicron/breakthrough on vaxxed and boosted.

Also thankful for the changing seasons. I love it when the rain starts to slow down!

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2175   路   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8736067
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 1:25 AM on Friday, May 20th, 2022

WOW...I missed a LOT of thankful posts from last week...and I see y'all beat me to posting THIS week...COOL grin !!!

MIgander...we have been to Michigan in May...it is beautiful smile . This lil fat Cajun wouldn't be able to survive y'alls winters though laugh !!!

ff4152...that word...trouble...may get you in trouble little brother laugh !!! Thanks for your post...I am happy to see it again on here grin !!!

outofsorts...the lilacs sound amazing grin !!! The magnolias are blooming here...and I LOVE their smell too!!

StrugglingCJ...Thank God you are alright (((HUGS))). There are so many things in your post to be grateful for...and it made me happy to read it smile .

Tanner...your posts always crack me up laugh !!! It is so GOOD to see you and your lovely wife moving forward like y'all are grin !!!

This0is0Fine...I am so thankful that you and your family are doing better smile . We have been so dry down here...and I am very much looking forward to the rain we are forecast to have this weekend. My garden will love it too grin !!!

Today I am thankful that my H is making it a point to spend extra time with me during A season smile . I'm doing really well so far...but having him by my side even though I haven't asked him to be just makes me feel really special grin . Life brought us another hiccup...but so far we are handling it together. I am very THANKFUL for that smile .

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6346   路   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   路   location: Southeastern United States
id 8736074
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:13 PM on Friday, May 20th, 2022

A month ago, I changed from Toprol to atenolol, because I had no energy on Toprol, and I still got some scary BP readings. My BP dropped 10-20 points, and my highest reading was 30 points below the highest readings I got on Toprol. A week ago, I unilaterally cut in half the amount of a drug (beta blocker) I take. Wednesday my doc said, 'Great!'

My energy is way up. My bike rides are longer, and my recovery is like it used to be (90 minutes instead of 8 hours). My BP stayed low. My interest in sex is back.

I feel so much better this week than I have for a year, and I am very grateful.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 5:19 PM, Friday, May 20th]

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 27914   路   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   路   location: Illinois
id 8736244
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Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 11:44 AM on Thursday, May 26th, 2022

It鈥檚 so uplifting to read everyone鈥檚 posts. Sisoon, that鈥檚 wonderful about the medicine change and your improved health and well-being!

I鈥檓 grateful because after almost two years on this recovery journey my husband and I may have found individual counseling situations that work.

His affair happened in the thick of Covid in 2020, and we were dealing with some other big stressors and weren鈥檛 fast enough about seeking counseling. There were huge waits when we finally did, and a year later we finally got in with a marriage counselor we really liked, only to find after two sessions that there was a conflict of interest for her (we live in a small town with many overlapping social circles). I waited another six months to get into virtual individual counseling and had two sessions that were profoundly awkward and unhelpful (turns out trying to bare your soul to a stranger on a screen with your kids in the next room just doesn鈥檛 work).

So I waited another six months for an in-person session with someone local. The first session was so helpful and affirming. The counselor was lovely.

My husband went through a similar process and finally got in with an IC this past week too. He also feels like it has potential.

Things have been hard over the last month or so, so this feels very positive, and I鈥檓 thankful.

Husband of 20 years had six month affair with co-worker. Found out 7/2020. Two teenaged kids. Reconciling.

posts: 284   路   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8737176
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 2:34 PM on Thursday, May 26th, 2022

How NICE it was to see this thread to the TOP of the list this week...thanks Grieving grin !! I am so HAPPY to read that y'all are finding counselors that may be a good fit for y'all smile . Things are definitely looking UP for the two of you grin !!

sisoon...how WONDERFUL that is for you grin !! Thank you for sharing this GREAT news!!

I am under a lot of stress right now...much like I was when I had to leave my H alone in a foreign country to travel back to America for a family emergency. Instead of him being empathetic to it like I thought...I found out my H was actually manipulating me and gaslighting me so that he could ENJOY his A.

It's different this time smile . I still feel the stress...but the empathy from my H is REAL. I knew I felt a disconnect 8 years before...but I chalked it up to us being an ocean apart. My GUT still kept screaming at me though...and I found out why on Dday. TODAY...my GUT is calm...even with all of this MESS swirling around me. I am very THANKFUL for that smile .

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6346   路   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   路   location: Southeastern United States
id 8737202
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 3:35 PM on Thursday, May 26th, 2022

I am thankful for the little lovebug of a dog I have. She is just the sweetest dog I could have ever asked for.

Still need to get her fur cut- she's quite a shaggy beast right now!

Also thankful for a husband who hovers with care (had a procedure done) and won't let me lift a thing. Even though I find it a bit frustrating since I am not used to not doing anything laugh He's been very attentive.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Back at it again- bantering w the younger woman. Lied about blocking phone calls and deleted texts. Carried on with her. Financial infidelity again- who says you only cheat with lovers?

posts: 902   路   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   路   location: Michigan
id 8737216
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SadieMae ( member #42986) posted at 3:57 PM on Thursday, May 26th, 2022

I am so thankful for my H. Last month I hurt my back terribly and had to go to the ER. Unfortunately, I required back surgery but had to wait 4 weeks before I could get the surgery. My H has taken such good care of me, our house, our animals. Everything has been on his shoulders and I'm so thankful he's been able to see to all of our needs.

I have never felt so physically vulnerable and I'm so glad he's been there for me.

It hasn't been easy, we've had our struggles, and he's required A LOT of building up through this process, but he's done it, and he's stayed present for it.

I'm over a week out from surgery and I'm feeling stronger and better every day.

Me: BW 40 on DDAY
Him: WH 40 on DDAY (FlawedBroken)
Together over half our lives.
D-day 3/9/2014
TT until 6/2016
TT again Fall 2020

posts: 1272   路   registered: Apr. 3rd, 2014   路   location: Sweet Tea in the Shade
id 8737221
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ff4152 ( member #55404) posted at 7:24 PM on Thursday, May 26th, 2022

I am so very thankful my A is far behind me.
I am so very thankful that I managed to pull my head out of my ass to change.
I am so very thankful I chose the path that I did to end the A and get out of infidelity.
I am so very thankful to be the husband and father my wife and child deserve.

Me -FWS

posts: 1988   路   registered: Sep. 30th, 2016
id 8737258
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sundance ( member #72129) posted at 8:03 PM on Thursday, May 26th, 2022

My Siberian irises are in bloom! Heavenly.

Rusty: You scared?Linus: You suicidal?Rusty: Only in the morning.

posts: 142   路   registered: Nov. 21st, 2019
id 8737270
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Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 1:41 AM on Friday, May 27th, 2022

Oh, Siberian irises are lovely. 鉂わ笍

Husband of 20 years had six month affair with co-worker. Found out 7/2020. Two teenaged kids. Reconciling.

posts: 284   路   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8737312
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 8:54 PM on Thursday, June 2nd, 2022

Happy Friday Eve!!! I missed last week because life is crazy busy right now.

I鈥檓 entering A season and wow a lot of feelings are coming back, I鈥檓 remembering things that seemed to fade away, the feelings and emotions. I鈥檓 not going through anger it鈥檚 more disbelief, how the hell could she kind of feelings. The thankful part is I feel the healing, I鈥檓 not yelling at her or letting the feelings consume me. I鈥檓 also thankful that she has been a great W and partner. It didn鈥檛 start that way on Dday but she really turned it around.

We have been without hot water for 2 weeks, we have been having trouble getting it replaced due to supply chain issues, but it鈥檚 in and we should be flowing soon, we have upgraded to tankless. Can鈥檛 wait for a hot shower.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2031   路   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   路   location: Texas DFW
id 8738268
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