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Reconciliation :
Thankful Thursday

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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 3:21 PM on Thursday, April 7th, 2022

I am thankful I get to watch my bulbs spring up and bloom. Little wild type crocuses I planted 2 years ago are having babies. So are my chiondoxa, daffodils and muscari. Such a joy to see color and life after so much grey.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Back at it again- bantering w the younger woman. Lied about blocking phone calls and deleted texts. Carried on with her. Financial infidelity again- who says you only cheat with lovers?

posts: 857   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8728477
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Ladybugmaam ( member #69881) posted at 5:00 PM on Thursday, April 7th, 2022

I'm thankful that the almost divorce diet has me 25 lbs lighter, and I've been able to maintain that. That I'm enjoying doing triathlons for myself and I feel physically and mentally stronger than ever. That our teen son almost has his pilot's license AND has a scholarship to college for aerospace engineering, in spite of all the affair drama. I'm thankful that my husband is still here and was able to deal with my trigger yesterday in a gentle way. I'm grateful for where we are now.

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son
I am a phoenix.

posts: 274   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8728495
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Oldwounds ( member #54486) posted at 5:43 PM on Thursday, April 7th, 2022

Thankful for the return of baseball. It’s always been a connection to my family - grandparents, uncles, cousins and my kids.

Life and the whole planet has been maddening at times, but some baseball slows it down, offers another chance for a peaceful, joyful moment or two along the way.

Thankful for my wife supporting that love of baseball, we have two trips to games across the country planned already.

And, as always, grateful for this forum, a place that understands and supports each other recovering from the uniquely horrible pain caused by infidelity.

Married 34+ years, together 40+ years
Two awesome adult sons.
Dday 6/16 4-year LTA Survived
Restoration takes time.
"Circumstances don't make the man, they only reveal him to himself." ― Epictetus

posts: 4406   ·   registered: Aug. 4th, 2016   ·   location: PNW. The adventure continues.
id 8728508
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 6:32 PM on Thursday, April 7th, 2022

I'm thankful that we managed to finally make our trip to Ireland which was delayed from 2020... And return on schedule with negative covid tests.

posts: 1313   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8728513
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 12:42 AM on Friday, April 8th, 2022

I’m thankful for a conversation I had with my W yesterday. She has a good friend that is having marital problems and her H is checked out and not responding to her cries for help in the M. I asked my W (hypothetically) "what if she confided in you about having an A?"

Her response was " I would tell her there are two paths in a bad a M, MC or D, but an A is the worst thing could do to yourself and your family."

It was a great answer because there was a time she believed "you do what feels right to you."

The weather is awesome and things are going great.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 1823   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8728580
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outofsorts ( member #70701) posted at 2:56 AM on Friday, April 8th, 2022

I am super thankful today to have received a job offer that I am really excited about. The job sounds amazing!! Compared to my current job which was great but since COVID has become a terrible place to work.

I am very much looking forward to a fresh start and better days ahead grin

Me(BW): 40WH: 40 Married 7 years, together 20.
Dday 2/22/19 Reconciling

posts: 401   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2019
id 8728595
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Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 4:11 AM on Friday, April 8th, 2022

Gardens, Holy Week, physical health, kids thriving, good conversations with spouses, travel to wonderful places, baseball, new job opportunities—these are wonderful things to be grateful for! I’m happy for all of you.

It’s spring break here, and I’m grateful that I got to spend three days with our oldest daughter visiting colleges in preparation for the application process. I know I’m a little biased, but she’s bright, ambitious, hard-working, and pleasant to be around I feel thankful to be her parent. ❤️

[This message edited by Grieving at 4:11 AM, Friday, April 8th]

Married for 20 years with two kids when my husband had a six month affair with a coworker. DD1: 6/2020. DD2: 7/3/2020. Reconciling

posts: 236   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8728607
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 1:46 PM on Saturday, April 9th, 2022

Gardens, Holy Week, physical health, kids thriving, good conversations with spouses, travel to wonderful places, baseball, new job opportunities—these are wonderful things to be grateful for! I’m happy for all of you.

I second that grin !!! How AWESOME for you too Grieving smile . I remember those days well...visiting the colleges...with our eager children...so much FUN grin !!! We now have grandchildren preparing for that...where did the time go??!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6261   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8728898
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 2:30 PM on Thursday, April 14th, 2022

Happy Thankful Holy Thursday everyone grin !! Today is a mixed emotion day for me. If you've ever been to a Catholic Mass on Holy Thursday you kind of get where my head is today. Reading John 13:1-15 kind of shows what happens during Mass on this day.

Knowing that Jesus went through a horrible betrayal on this day...and not just by Judas...it makes that word...betrayal...so poignant now for me crying . I have been betrayed too many times to count throughout my life...but my H's betrayal was by far the worst crying . I can't imagine how it would feel to KNOW that my H would be betraying me beforehand...no matter how much he would have denied it...and still manage to LOVE him like Jesus did with His apostles. Although I didn't wash my H's feet on Dday...I was actually rubbing them for him right before he confessed. I used to do it often...with him being a diabetic. It truly was an act of LOVE for him and his health. I could probably count on one hand how many times I have done it since Dday though...almost 8 years ago. I can't even fathom the LOVE Jesus had by doing this humble act for people who would desert Him when He needed them the most crying .

But...TODAY...I am so very THANKFUL that I have a blueprint of how to be a person that God wants us all to be smile . LOVE really does cover a multitude of sins! I can't say that I ever will love the adultery co-conspirator. But I truly don't hate her anymore. She gave my H a little insight into her childhood...and it seems that she was being preyed upon by an adult male in her family. I don't think she even realized how he had been grooming her for sex...from the time she was a CHILD...from the way she talked about him being her first A. I had a similar experience...but thankfully I saw this man as a predator and was able to choose a different path. I do pray that the adultery co-conspirator can heal her brokenness and can stop being a serial cheater. It truly is up to HER though to choose a different path.

I am also very THANKFUL that I will be able to be around family for this Easter weekend smile . With the ABUNDANCE of seafood here in south Louisiana...it is more like a FEAST day than a day of solemnity from this time until Easter...and our Parish Priest has pointed that out many times to us!! Our youngest grandchild will be dying eggs with us...and then pocking them...what an awesome Cajun tradition she will be having grin !! I won't be upset at all if SHE becomes the "pock egg Queen" this year grin !!!

Have a JOYOUS Easter everyone grin !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6261   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8729722
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 8:33 PM on Thursday, April 14th, 2022

Thankful for BH's support in an HR thing around my AP being hostile shortly after DDay. We were able to work together on the situation and he was able to show empathy for the stress and I was able to show empathy for the shit sandwich he had to remember eating.

Over all, I'm thankful we're starting to work as a team.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Back at it again- bantering w the younger woman. Lied about blocking phone calls and deleted texts. Carried on with her. Financial infidelity again- who says you only cheat with lovers?

posts: 857   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8729786
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This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 10:15 PM on Thursday, April 14th, 2022

I'm thankful to have my mom come visit from now until Easter.

Grandmas are the best baby sitters and we live about 5 hours apart so it's a hike.

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2116   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8729798
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Ladybugmaam ( member #69881) posted at 2:45 AM on Friday, April 15th, 2022

H is away, spending time away visiting his family overseas. I have taken this time to spring clean. Cleaned out his office. He knew. I'm a great organizer....him not so much. I sent him photos of the finished product. He loves it. There was a part of me that was a little worried I'd find something affair related. (Some of the evidence from the A was a photo of a note written in the same office) I didn't. In fact, what I found was an old box (I had to call him to confirm it wasn't trash - which he replied....NO, PLEASE DON'T throw that out....NOT trash). full of cards and love notes we'd written each other over the last 25 years. Gonna call that good.

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son
I am a phoenix.

posts: 274   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8729832
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 2:00 PM on Friday, April 22nd, 2022

HAPPY "Thankful Thursday on Friday" everyone grin !!! I apologize for not writing something yesterday. My H and I were traveling a lot this week and it is hard to type on my phone because I still can't use emojis when doing that. I can't do without my emojis laugh !!!

I am so THANKFUL that we made it to our destination safely smile . We were also able to see people we haven't seen in a long while...and that is always something to be thankful for!

But WAIT...there's MORE!! We were staying in hotels...which used to be a HUGE trigger for me. It took several YEARS...and many attempts...but I finally found a way to OWN hotels smile . It involved sex...so we will let it go at that blush . Anyway...during THIS time...we were able to stay in a hotel room one night...NOT have sex...and I did NOT get triggered...a HUGE win for me grin . It may not seem like much...but I can honestly say that this was the FIRST time in almost 8 years that being in a hotel room was just that...being in a hotel room smile . It was NORMAL...it was NOT triggering at all...and it was one more example of me being HEALED smile . Here's to MORE healing for everyone grin !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6261   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8731125
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 9:29 PM on Friday, April 22nd, 2022

Day late and a dollar short laugh

I’m thankful that we spent the day with Special Olympics yesterday, it’s is so nice to see everyone getting to participate. It was a little overwhelming for our Son but we made it work

Safe Travels Cuz!!! Way to beat those triggers. I m thankful that you taught me that triggers only steal your joy, don’t let them take from you, go own them!!

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 1823   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8731300
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 1:13 PM on Monday, April 25th, 2022

Aw ... thanks Coozann Tan grin !! We're back home now ... and things are better than ever smile .

I am so happy y'all had a GOOD time at the Special Olympics grin !! Y'alls son is so BLESSED!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6261   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8731830
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 2:17 PM on Thursday, April 28th, 2022

Happy Thankful Thursday Everyone grin . For ME...I am so THANKFUL that Wednesday is OVER laugh !! Oh gosh...so many events happened yesterday that had me in a tizzy!!! But...today is a NEW day...and Life is GOOD smile .

My H was dealing with some issues of his own yesterday...but when he came home...he listened to my ramblings...and then hugged me. His hugs just made ALL the issues seem so trivial smile . Honestly...they really aren't all that big in the grand scheme of things. But when one thing started piling up on another...my stress level got to "HOLY HELL!!" real QUICK!!!

When we went to bed last night...HE thanked ME for helping him...by listening to his ramblings about his stressful day shocked . It is funny...I didn't even think about how WE had actually BOTH been telling each other about our stressful day laugh . It made me feel GOOD to know I helped the most FAVORITE person in the world to me by just being there for HIM smile .

This morning...when my H hugged me goodbye before going to work...he said that as long as we are TOGETHER...everything will work out just fine smile . YES!! YES...they will grin !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6261   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8732459
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 4:19 PM on Thursday, April 28th, 2022

Happy Thursday!!! It’s my Friday, our grown kids are taking the boys this weekend so me and Mrs Tanner are going camping in the pines of East Texas. We need a quiet get away. Plan to do some hiking, canoeing, and chilling.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 1823   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8732483
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 4:32 PM on Thursday, May 5th, 2022

How cool is it that THIS Thankful Thursday falls on Cinco de Mayo grin !!! I LOVE the colors and all the graphics too!!!

This Thankful Thursday has my H and I in a whole different situation than LAST Thankful Thursday. Life truly does turn on a dime doesn't it? Like I have heard...the ONLY constant is CHANGE!! We have been in worse situations though...so I am very THANKFUL we aren't in THOSE situations right now smile .

I have also heard that there is ALWAYS something to be THANKFUL for...and that is so TRUE grin !!! Here's to even MORE things to be thankful for!!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6261   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8733689
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 9:25 PM on Thursday, May 5th, 2022

So last weekend didn’t go as planned. Our Daughter had a change of plans the night before leaving for the camping trip. Our twins are 13 and one is severely autistic, he is non verbal and at a 2-3 year old level. Taking him overnight isn’t an option because he needs his bed and routine. He gets over stimulated and it turns into negative behavior.

All that to say, we expect and prepare for changes in plans, I was super bummed and pouted for half a day. My W really encouraged me to make the best of it and we did. We ended up having a great weekend at home.

This is a real change for my W. She would have been the one to be upset and would tell me to fix it. In the beginning of R I didn’t believe this change in her was real, but she has shown to be very content and happy for over two years. I really love the positive changes she has made, I regret it took a scorched earth to get here.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 1823   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8733735
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Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 1:06 AM on Friday, May 6th, 2022

That is a really nice story, Tanner. I’m sorry your camping trip didn’t work out, but I’m glad you and your wife weathered the disappointment in healthy ways.

I’m grateful that the end of a difficult year of teaching is in sight. Things are slowing down a bit, and I’m thankful for that.

Married for 20 years with two kids when my husband had a six month affair with a coworker. DD1: 6/2020. DD2: 7/3/2020. Reconciling

posts: 236   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8733773
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