nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 1:14 PM on Sunday, September 18th, 2016
Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.
Rest when you need to and make sure your team knows about side effects so they can offer relief if it's available.
I'm so impressed that your still at work!! You go girl. And then you stop girl, when you need to, and let people help you.
(((DS&MH)))
Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman
Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 3:31 PM on Sunday, September 18th, 2016
I wanted to update this thread. But I went to bed than fell asleep due to the pain medication I took.
Thank you all for your continue love and support!
Friday I had to have another blood transfusion (2nd one in 2 months) due to the blood panel numbers being low. My legs and ankles were so swollen and skin so tight it felt like my skin was going to tear open
So all day Friday, I laid in a bed while 2 pints of someone else's blood was pumped in to me. I kept praying that I hope there were a nice person and not some crazy animal abuser 
My oncologists are taking me off chemo because the drugs are just too strong from my healthy blood to repair itself from. My numbers are constantly low, my kidneys are having to work over time and overall my cancer is just not responding to the chemo.
The good news is even though the tumors have gotten bigger...they still haven't spread!! Praise God! So now we're off to the main campus at MD Anderson for the next month with various appointments to get me on the trial drugs. Which includes another biopsy...which I swear to God hurt more than anything I've been through so far, so I'm really not looking forward to that procedure.
Once they find a trial drug that matches up with my cancer then the new testing begins. I should probably now in about 3-4 weeks when I'll be starting.
My eyelashes are gone...my eyebrows are gone and I have a little bit of peach fuzz on my head I have pain 24/7 and I bruise so easily now, it's just awful. Poor MH....he listens to me moan at night I know it's just killing him
Overall, if I didn't have this pain, I wouldn't remember half the time I have cancer because I feel good, but the pain is a constant reminder of this fucking disease living inside me that wants to kill me. I hate it.
So there's my update...not bad but not great either. Just plugging on along and praying that something, somewhere will knock this out of me
I forgot....
AK47 This Shit!!!!!
[This message edited by SI Staff at 10:11 AM, September 18th (Sunday)]
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 3:56 PM on Sunday, September 18th, 2016
My dear DS I'm praying this gets better sooner than later. You are handling it so well and I'm sure that is coming across in helping you AK47 this shit. Much love and prayers and hugs for both if you.
Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.
2oldforthis ( member #19825) posted at 4:55 PM on Sunday, September 18th, 2016
Lots of hugs and prayers for you as you continue on, you are so strong. I wish we could some how take that pain away.
He did not see what he had in me, what I saw in him I did not have!
Love kills slowly.
looking forward ( member #25238) posted at 4:59 PM on Sunday, September 18th, 2016
Prayers from both my H and me, DS.
You are a strong lady!
(((hugs))))
Together 57 years, Married 52 years. Sober since 2009. "You've always had the power, my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself." (The Wizard of Oz)
JanetS ( member #2766) posted at 7:10 PM on Sunday, September 18th, 2016
Don't you just wish they could put you into an induced coma while the painful stuff is happening, and wake you up when the treatment is finished!
I'm sorry you're feeling so poorly. You'll have to soldier on.
You're in my prayers.
devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 7:52 PM on Sunday, September 18th, 2016
And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!
somanyyears ( member #26970) posted at 8:23 PM on Sunday, September 18th, 2016
..sending you ALL the MOJO I can muster!!!!
..has there been anyone, doctor? friend? or neighbour? to suggest using a wee bit of pot to assist with the pain??
..not sure how that goes over with law enforcement.. can your docs prescribe??
so very sorry to know that you are dealing with this 'pain in the arse disease'!!! 
..and 'think positive' ++++++++++++ 
smy
trust no other human- love only your pets. Reconciled I think!Me 77 Her 73 Married 52 yrs. 18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer. Little fucker died at 57.Brain tumour!
InnerLight ( member #19946) posted at 9:00 PM on Sunday, September 18th, 2016
Sending prayers your way.
(((DS)))
BS, 63 yearsD-day 6-2-08D after 20 yearsThe journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!
imagoodwitch ( member #23375) posted at 9:35 PM on Sunday, September 18th, 2016
It makes me sad that you are in pain.
It also makes me sad that the protocol for your tumors isn't working
I'm with smy, I wonder if a little pot might help with the pain.
Hugs and mojo for you and MH 
Ordinary average everyday sane psycho super goddess
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 10:32 PM on Sunday, September 18th, 2016
Thanks for the update. I'm sorry you're in pain.
As always, sending mojo for your healing.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
cass ( member #24261) posted at 11:24 PM on Sunday, September 18th, 2016
Are there other options for pain relief DS? I'm so sorry you are in such pain, that must be making this so much harder for you.
Sending so much continued love, support and strong healing vibes to you and MH from across the pond. Hang in there and keep up your battling spirit.
((((DS & MH))))
DDay - April 2008
Me - 58 and doing great, alone.
Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket!
Lovingmyselfmore ( member #46119) posted at 7:10 AM on Monday, September 19th, 2016
((((DS and MH)))))
You are in my prayers. You are doing so well DS., God Bless you.
dday: september-12-2014
Me: 42 EX: 46 gay or bisexual (go figure!) together: 12 years
Dday to 3 months: suicidal 1 year after: huge depression- 1.5 years still kind of depressed-Took me 2.5 years to be kind of happy again
Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 1:05 PM on Monday, September 19th, 2016
Sending all possible love and prayers for a complete recovery.
Here's hoping they find just the right recipe to shrink the tumors!
Covering you in love and peace and prayer, dear friend.
Cat
FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."
gypsybird87 ( member #39193) posted at 12:13 AM on Tuesday, September 20th, 2016
DS,
I'm barely here anymore but a little birdy named MOS reminded of this epic battle you are fighting.
Sending you and MH every bit of love, courage, strength and MOJO I possess. Cancer is so horrible but I know that if ANYONE can beat it, it's YOU! Hang in there.
#AK47ThisShit
Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 12:53 AM on Tuesday, September 20th, 2016
main campus at MD Anderson for the next month with various appointments to get me on the trial drugs.
If anybody can do it, they can. (((DS&MH)))
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 5:58 AM on Tuesday, September 20th, 2016
I'm so sorry to hear that your pain control isn't adequate. Please bring it up with your team and make sure that they know you aren't getting relief with the current regimen.
Sending prayers and strength to you both. I vote you ask them to drug you up for the biopsy. Can't hurt to ask.
(((DS&MH)))
Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:31 PM on Tuesday, September 20th, 2016
((((DS))))
Be sure to tell the Dr's your feelings on the biopsy. They can give you happy meds to make you not remember or be aware of what happens.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
windows ( member #14054) posted at 2:14 PM on Tuesday, September 20th, 2016
Pentup ( member #20563) posted at 2:29 PM on Tuesday, September 20th, 2016
So wish I could be close by to give you a hug, buy MH a beer or tequila shot and to ramp up your Docs on your pain meds.
About the blood transfusion, I will hazard a guess that super mean animal abusers aren't the type to take time out of their day to donate blood. I think ou can be confident that it was someone who donates thinking about the people who have done the same for their family and sending good vibes to whoever is receiving it.
Prayers going up for you each day. You hang tough and you blow the everlasting shit out of those tumors. Ak47 style.
Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)
