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SI Prayers/Mojo Request...Cancer

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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 12:07 AM on Monday, April 18th, 2016

My doctor called on April 1st to let me know that the biopsy I had done 3 days prior is cancer. I went in for several scans and various blood tests and my current condition is at a stage 3 due to it being in my lymph nodes. I start radiation and chemo this week... radiation will be 5 days a week for 5 weeks and chemo will be 1 day a week for 5 weeks.

I never miss my annual wellness visit and mine was as recently as this past December. My pelvic exam was completely normal. In January I found a lump while showering, I waited a couple weeks to see if it would go away and when it didn’t I went to my GYN. At that time he thought it was possibly an ingrown hair or maybe a cyst and put me on an antibiotic. When it didn’t go away but continued to get bigger, that’s when we went ahead with a biopsy.

I have to question just what the hell we women even bother going to yearly pelvic exams when nothing showed up just 4 months ago.

We have been trying to wrap our minds around all of this. I go from feeling extremely sad to having a huge amount of hope and feeling like I can conquer it. Which I hope I can. In my favor is the fact that I’m extremely healthy outside of this. No medications or heart disease or high blood pressure, etc.

I’m thankful for an incredibly gifted oncologist and living in a city that most people come from all over the world to be treated for cancer. We also have an amazing healthcare plan, which of course is a huge relief to us on the financial side of things.

I’ve been surrounded by friends and family for the last two weeks... offering love and support and encouraging words and stories of cancer survivors. My bosses and co-workers have been a huge support system...not to mention MH of course. I’m so lucky!!

As my best friend has been saying “DS…we’re gonna AK47 that shit right out of you!”

MH and I would really appreciate any prayers and good wishes from you all. This is a very scary time for us.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7531636
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 1:40 AM on Tuesday, April 19th, 2016

I am deeply touched by all of these replies. Your words of encouragement and love is overwhelming...thank you so very, very much

We had flooding here today so my radiation orientation was delayed until tomorrow morning at 9:00am. I wish I could have started today....waiting just feels like something evil is growing in me.

Would you consider something like a Go Fund Me page for those of us who would like to contribute to the financial burden? Also, is there an address we could send well-wishes and little tokens of happiness to bring a smile to your face?

That's so sweet of you...but I just don't feel comfortable with a GoFund me page when so many other people are truly in more need than we are...and for that I'm very thankful!!

But...if anyone wants to send me a card or well wishes...I'm certainly open for whoring myself out for that!

SI.com

395 Sawdust RD., #2164

The Woodlands, Texas 77380-2299

I am strong. I'm going to win this battle and I'm going to have a long life with MH and was travel around in our motorhome with 3 obnoxious Pomeranians

Thank you again...I can't tell you how much this all means to us

AK47 this shit!!!!

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7532582
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 2:09 AM on Tuesday, April 19th, 2016

Ban that cancer like it was NYJerry.

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!

AK47 this shit!!!!

we may need shirts with this on them. just sayin'...

I swear...I told MH that exact same thing not 30 minutes ago!!!

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7532601
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 4:03 AM on Wednesday, April 20th, 2016

Wow...the love on this thread is overwhelming...truly and deeply...unbelievable. Thank you so very, very much!!

FH...my darling friend!! I have the same wonderfully special Post It note from 15 years ago in our address book. Amazing how far we go back...and I love you to pieces!

Today was a wonderfully awful day

And Saturday they will be shaving my head because I can't stand the thought of it falling out and solidifying that I'm sick. So, I'd rather take control and have it done on my terms...not to mention that wigs are incredibly beautiful (and fucking EXPENSIVE!!! )so I'm ready to go.

Today my tumor started bleeding during my exam and my radiologist said "it's ok...that will happen" and I said "that's because I scare the shit out of it!"

So, onward and upward...full force right on through it!!!

AK47 This Shit!!!

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7533720
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 1:32 PM on Saturday, April 23rd, 2016

I wanted to thank everyone for taking the time to send me well wishes, prayers and positive thoughts...I need them

Today is a big day...they're shaving my head and then fitting my wig around a bald scalp. This is making it all so real.

Yesterday I had two meetings at work...the first one was with our maintenance and service department...I had 16 sets of eyes staring at me while I explained what type of cancer, my treatments, possible days I won't be able to come to work and that I'll look different on Monday with a new hair style

Everyone at work of course already knew...these were just an official meeting to give the specifics.

One of my maintenance guys started crying...bless his heart, he's so worried about me Everyone at work has been incredible...so supportive and making sure MH and I know that we have a big support system through them.

My radiation was pushed up from 5 weeks to 7 weeks - 5 days a week. And chemo is 1 day a week for 7 weeks - each treatment is 5 hours.

I'm going to push through this shit...no way is cancer going to tell ME how my life will be!!

Thank you again...I can't tell you how wonderful it is to read your messages

AK47 THIS SHIT!!!!!!!

[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:02 AM, April 23rd (Saturday)]

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7536938
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 11:20 AM on Wednesday, April 27th, 2016

I'm not only fighting like a girl...I'm fighting like a BITCH girl!

Yesterday I had my metiport installed. I'm now on my 3rd radiation visit and 1st chemo treatment. I feel really good...just super tired. I certainly appreciate all the love and prayers!!!

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7540159
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 12:23 AM on Monday, May 2nd, 2016

(((Everyone)))

Thank you so much for the continued support...it is deeply appreciated and welcomed.

I made it through my first 5 rounds of radiation and 1st round of chemo...I'm wiped out.

MH bought me a new MacBook so I can still moderate here during my 6 hours of chemo every week...watch out!

Overall, I'm doing pretty good...well, as good as can be expected for having cancer

I worry about MH as he is carrying such a huge load all by himself and he's so worried about me and making sure I have everything I need. I keep reminding him that he has a great group of friends he can lean on especially if he has feelings he needs to get out but is afraid of sharing certain things with me.

I know we'll get through this together...just like we do everything else. We're unstoppable!!

Thank you again...the love I feel in here boosts me up and carries me. Thank you very much!!

AK47thisshit!!!

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7544482
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 11:23 AM on Wednesday, May 4th, 2016

(((((DIS)))))!!!!!!

Thank you everyone!!

Today is my 2nd round of chemo...it was supposed to be every Tuesday but I got pushed to today for whatever reason...I didn't care why at that point.

I had mentally prepared myself for battle, praying I don't get sick and can stay strong through the chemo treatments and just like that, they took away my battle cry and moved me for today.

Anyway...today is another day and I'm still here and that's always a good thing!! Unless you're someone that hates me...than it must really piss you off

I love all the prayers and stories you are sharing with me...thank you all so very much!!!!

[This message edited by SI Staff at 5:23 AM, May 4th (Wednesday)]

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7546609
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 6:15 PM on Sunday, May 15th, 2016

I wanted to take a moment and thank you all for everything you've written on this thread and shared in PM with me. You all are wonderful, loving and extremely kind people

Last weekend MH and I went to run errands and we stopped by the donation box...I was sitting in the car and MH walked out with his arms full of cards and gifts...to say I was overwhelmed is an understatement.

There were cards from all over the world with messages of hope and love...thank you so, so much!!!

The Cancer Sucks candies...LOVE THEM!! They bags are up on our island in the kitchen and I dip into them on a daily basis Thank you!!

The coloring book to keep my mind occupied during chemo is wonderful...thank you!!!

All the pennies my cards...unbelievable that you even remembered!!! THANK YOU!!!!!

My AK47 This Shit shirt is awesome!! I'm wearing it to my next chemo appointment...I'll take a picture and post it in here All my nurses know that's my Battle Cry and they say it as I walk down the hall each week!!

This past Wednesday was my 'progress' exam with my oncologist. Between the radiation and chemo the "the tumors are significantly smaller" and "we're making great progress"

I swear, it was the best thing we've heard since we got the news on April 1st. The cancer is responding to my chemo and radiation...praise God!!

I'm down to 2 chemo's left and 4 weeks of radiation to get through, then they'll wait 1 month and I'll do a CAT and PET scan to see where everything is...fingers crossed that I beat it. But if not...we're prepared to tackle it head on again if need be.

My entire pelvic area is fire engine red and extremely sore to the touch due to all the radiation treatments...but I don't care, we are pushing through this no matter what!!!

Thank you again...each one of you have made a huge difference in our lives. MH is just as grateful to you all as I am

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7556957
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 6:16 PM on Monday, May 30th, 2016

You all are so sweet...thank you!!

My last chemo treatment is this Wednesday and then I have 12 more days of radiation treatments to get through. My skin is falling off from being burned over and over again and my pain level is pretty high...lots of shooting sharp pain.

Overall I feel good as can e expected although I Have zero appetite and what I do eat doesn't taste good and my jaw locks up So, eating isn't high in my list...lol!

I missed my first day of work this past Monday...I was in so much pain there was no way I would have made it all day, M bosses are impressed that I've only missed 1 day

Thank you again for thinking of me....that was so nice of you all!!!!!

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7569578
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 4:52 PM on Sunday, June 12th, 2016

Thank you everyone!!!

I finished chemo this last Wednesday and I have 5 more radiation treatment left. I was given a 1 week break from radiation due to the pain becoming almost unbearable and the condition of my skin, which is raw and terrible looking

This coming Wednesday I will go in for another CT Scan to determine if the cancer has spread/reduced in size/stayed the same, etc. and determining what the results are is when we'll find out whats in store for us next. Judging from what I know...odds are I'll be going in for a second round of chemo. I will come that over the radiation any day. I hate radiation.

Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and good thoughts...I'm so deeply grateful to you all...truly, thank you.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7580356
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 11:24 AM on Thursday, June 16th, 2016

You all are so wonderful!! Thank you for thinking of us!!

I had my scan yesterday with my radiologist.

It hasn't spread which is great news! However it hasn't shrunk as much as they were hoping for either. So, I'll have 5 more radiation treatments starting Monday and then we'll go see my oncologist for the next plan of action. Which will mean another round of chemo with two different drugs this time.

At some point this month, we'll be going to MD Anderson to another oncologist for a second opinion on my treatments. During the biopsy phase MD Anderson did a 2nd opinion on the tissue sample and they did confirm the same diagnosis...so I feel confident in what I've been treated for is correct. Now I just want to make sure the actual treatment is the right course of action.

I'm very grateful it hasn't spread...just wish it would go away and I could have a day without pain or worry. And I'm always so fucking tired...I'm sick of that too

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7583565
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 11:31 AM on Friday, June 24th, 2016

AK47 This Shit is right!!!!!!!!

Today is finally here...MY LAST DAY OF RADIATION!!!!!!! I get to ring the bell when I'm done too...lol!!! At 1:00pm my time...I'm outta there!!!!!!!!

Certainly not done with more treatments, but for now...radiation is behind me. I can take just about anything that this shit bag of cancer has dealt me, but radiation just knocks me down from the pain and exhaustion.

My boss said to me yesterday that she's amazed that I'm working through all of this and I told her that unless I'm making significant mistakes and no one is telling me, I want to continue to work. I have the greatest management team and co-workers any one could ask for

Thank you everyone for your continued support!

And did I see Truthsetme's name???? Holy Mother...I can't believe its you!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for popping in and saying Hi...you are such a gem

[This message edited by SI Staff at 8:30 AM, June 24th (Friday)]

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7590119
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 3:09 PM on Sunday, July 10th, 2016

WOW Kodi!!!!

I can't believe I'm seeing your name...that's so awesome!!!!

Thanks you guys!!

The results were good...not as good as we had hoped, but not bad either.

The tumors on my left side have shrunk "considerably" and on my right side "they're smaller" which is sure as hell better than "there's nothing we can do and you're dying!"

They did however find a couple masses on my lungs. Which is a bit shocking to say the least. My Dr. said not to be alarmed by this mostly due to I'm at MD Anderson and *anything* that shows up, the radiologist will ALWAYS lean towards "possibly cancer" because it's a cancer hospital...lol! Makes sense He also said that since Houston is a polluted city it could just be something that I happened to breath in prior to the testing. Either way, we're not really going to worry about that right now.

I go to my new chemo doctor this coming Friday for my treatment plan. I'm going to lose every bit of hair I have left on my body. Eyelashes and eyebrows included I'm going to be ugly...I just know it.

This feels like a lifetime of pills and doctors.

So, overall, not bad news at all...just keep praying it will go away, I wish it weren't such a stubborn fucking cancer!

I really appreciate everyone's support...this has been incredibly hard for MH and myself to go through. We keep saying "this isn't the end to our story...we have so much more to do"

So we keep pushing through...looking for hope and hanging on to all the positive things in our lives.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7603734
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 11:34 AM on Wednesday, July 13th, 2016

(((((Hope24)))))

OMG...I can't believe you're here!! I've missed you so much, thank you for stopping by!!

I wish we could see eachother again...you are a light in dark times

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7606090
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 11:41 AM on Wednesday, July 13th, 2016

(((Everyone)))

I wanted to say thank you to all that have taken the time to support me and MH...we really appreciate your words of love and encouragement.

I'm not a big cry baby or scared of many things (SNAKES!) but this whole cancer journey has brought me to my knees at times. But we have to keep moving forward and trust that my doctors, my medications and God will pull us through.

This Friday we meet with the chemo department to get me on schedule for my next round of chemo. I hope to start next week. I'm nervous and scared and anxious...I'm a mess

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7606096
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 11:24 AM on Friday, July 15th, 2016

Oh my gosh...INCHO???? I can't believe its you!!! How awesome is this!

If anyone reading this doesn't know who Inchoate is...she's a living legend around here. Unbelievable contributor, friend and human being...truly an amazing person.

Thank you so much for popping in...I'm floored!

Today is the big day with finding out where, what drugs, how many treatments, how long, etc., I'll be dealing with for this next round of chemo.

MH and I decided we're eating out all weekend and using the gift cards our friends have been dropping off for us

Thank you everyone...the love and support on here is nothing short of complete inspiration and strength for us...thank you very much!!!!

AK47 This Shit!!!!

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7607892
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 11:35 AM on Friday, July 22nd, 2016

Today I start my 2nd round of chemo.

New doctors, new drugs, new MD Anderson facility...I'm ready!!!

I pray I don't get sick Thank you everyone for your continued support!!!

AK47 This Shit!!!!

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7613929
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 12:53 AM on Monday, August 1st, 2016

You all are so awesome!!! I'm amazed at the love and time spent by you all on here...thank you so much!

I had my 1st treatment of my second round ( ) of chemo a week ago this past Friday. I have a private room with a nice view, MH has plenty of room to set up his laptop to work or entertain me and I have a private nurse that does all my vitals and administers all the drugs and fluids for my treatments. Overall...I couldn't ask for a better setting and care...I'm very lucky for sure!!

I was fine until Tuesday...I got sick for the first time and that ended up lasting for most of the evening. I called into work on Wednesday morning...I tried but after just walking down the hallway at home at 5:00am...I knew there was no way I would make it through the day at work. So, I stayed in bed and relaxed all day, which was AWESOME!!!!! Although I have ZERO idea how anyone can watch daytime TV and either not become a total imbecile or turn into a vegetable. God, what total trash on tv...no wonder so many women are lost in our country

On Thursday and Friday I was sick again...just one time and then I was fine. Went on my business at work. It's weird...getting sick is fast and done within a few minutes...there aren't any lingering feelings of nausea. At least for me that's how it's been. I have 2 anti-nausea medications but they cause constipation which I do NOT want to have happen again, so I'm waiting for the one anti-nausea medication that I know really works for me, I should be picking that up tomorrow

I started to lose my eyelashes today which was a grim reality of it all. I know I've based a lot of my posts about how I'll look...but until you're faced with changing physically, you just don't realize how much stock you put into who you are on a physical level.

Anyway...just thought I'd update and let you all know that I am so thankful for the continued support and love and prayers...you have made this shit journey a whole lot easier to take Thank you very, very much!!!!

AK47 THIS SHIT!!!

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7621667
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 Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 11:39 AM on Monday, August 8th, 2016

(((((UR)))))

Holy shit...you came by!! I hope you're doing well

With love and appreciation!

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 7628086
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