SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

West, I know....

Sad isnt it?Im not tooting my own horn here but I am no felon. I have a 6 figure job that supports our family of 5. We have a nice house that we own, a pool, property,vehicles, my WW has all the nice clothes and everything..

This guy has nothing but a tan and muscles...

Why would she ever think it was ok to pull her pants down for him???? Did she honestly think she wasnt going to get caught? The day it happened, when she went to meet him, I was at home remodeling our bathroom..And i remember saying to myself, I gotta get this done so when wifey gets home she will be so happy!....Little did I know she was getting bent over in an f150...

Im not sure why she did what she did. Other than for attraction and thrill

Man, you need to wake up. Good on you for filing for divorce. But you are making some really bad decisions here.

First, someone told you not to have sex with her, because she is bat shit crazy,and could file sexual assault charges on you. And you agree, then turn around and have sex with her.

She is in love with a person who is well versed in what constitutes sexual assault. How easy it would have been for her to put a few bruises on her body,and call the police and say you assaulted her. You would have had to prove you didn't. You put yourself in a dangerous situation.

Second, this woman physically assaulted you. And you say you had your VAR on, so you even have it recorded. And you DIDN'T call the cops?? Wtf not??

Your wife is in love with a rapist. A violent sex predator. He will eventually get out some day, and there's a good chance he will have full access to your kids. I mean, sure, part of his parole will be not to be around kids. But criminals don't follow the law.

You need to get full custody. Full stop. Limit her access to those kids. You had the chance to show the judge she is violent, and you blew it off. You need to protect your kids from this evil woman. And yes. She is evil. Any mother who involves herself with a violent rapist is evil. When I think about how many pics she has sent him of her,and her kids it makes me sick.

Stop fucking her. You could be leaving your vulnerable kids alone with this physcotic bitch, while you fight off a rape charge.

Why would she ever think it was ok to pull her pants down for him???? Did she honestly think she wasnt going to get caught? The day it happened, when she went to meet him, I was at home remodeling our bathroom..And i remember saying to myself, I gotta get this done so when wifey gets home she will be so happy!....Little did I know she was getting bent over in an f150...

Lust. Plain and simple. Something about the guy stoked her fire. He's a bad boy, dangerous, and some women just go for creeps like him. My STBXWW does. It's thugs all the way for her, nice boys need not apply. I was a bad boy way back when my WW and I met. I had just gotten out of jail and was getting myself out of a gang when I caught her eye. I was still a punk of sorts when we married, but as soon as life got serious I cleaned up my act, went back to school and got an education, and over time became a pretty successful citizen. And that is when my WW pretty much wrote me off.

You could probably go talk to a scientist who could give you all the genetic and sociological reasons why some women are attracted to violent thugs, but it won't make you feel better or change your situation.

Your WW is messed up man. She is a messed up human being and you need to protect your children from her. She is not thinking right or making healthy choices, and if your lawyer is not working that angle then you need to fire him and get another.

I'm not sure why she did what she did. Other than for attraction and thrill

Both, and something broken deep inside her that would allow her to put her marriage and children in jeopardy just to please a piece of sh*t felon. Suffice it to say she no longer shares your morals and values. She has walked off the path she was sharing with you and is now walking down a path of self destruction. It happens all the time Subverted. We see it happening more and more every day where people who were once healthy minded, responsible and upstanding just veer off the highway and run out into the bushes. It's sad and tragic, and these are thae cards that have been dealt to you. So you need to be careful.

[This message edited by Westway at 9:32 AM, September 2nd (Wednesday)]

Two things. First, and most important. Almost every state has the VINE program. Every court and police station has a poster with a giant toll free number. You can call and sign up for free. VINE will then call you every time there is a hearing of any kind on this man and will tell you immediately when he is released. For as long as you want. Look into this.

Second. There is a reason that the word con is both a noun and a verb. Career criminals can be the most charming people when it suits them, all the while getting all they want without remorse. Many times, it is to simply engage in the hunt.

I am very familiar with this. In my state, the senate majority leader and the former chief Investigator of the AGs Criminal unit both had seemingly good wives, both of whom got involved in prison ministry, and both of whom fucked the prisoner they were working with, and got involved with them heavily for a long time.

There is more than Svengali like power of the criminal. There is the inner brokenness of the woman. Your wife seems to demonstrate this. She really doesn’t know which way is up.

Frankly, your wife seems incredibly naive, amazingly insensitive toward you, childlike emotionally, and deeply stupid all at once. If you decide there is a way to come out of this with her as a spouse, it will take a devastatingly long time.

It doesn’t look like you are going there, and that is a wise decision.

Your last post Subverted, have you ever told those exact words to her?

Lots of times.... yes.

Lots of times.... yes.

Then stop saying these things to her. She's not listening and you are just twisting your guts up. In fact, stop talking to her until the divorce petition is filed. Then after that only talk to her about the kids and divorce.

Subverted,

Wow, your WW has great taste doesn't she? This is a violent offender... a violent sex offender.

I'm another who did some time when I was younger...this guy is what's known as a "baby fucker" as a 3 time loser, he's going to do VERY hard time as they don't like them much in MI prisons. My step daughter had a 19 yo BF when she was 13! Her father and I had him charged w/stat-rape. He only got probation, but was too stupid to stay clean/straight. Ended up in Jackson State Pen...dove off the 4th tier w/his hands tied behind his back. Shame about the suicide...

That's the kind of shit your WW's AP is looking at. He will do hard time. Once his 1st 2 charges are known (it's very easy for that info to circulate) he's going do find out what a "hard time" is. The Girls are going to love him. To understand how bad it can be, certain parts of "Shawshank Redemption" are accurate. (most of it isn't but there are "parts" that are).

subverted, ya good? are ya still there?

all good!

Everything's just kind of going you know? Finding out there are a lot of women interested in me...That's a good self esteem boost for sure.

Not having sex with anyone.

I try to make my visits with WW short as possible, and I am also trying not to bring up anything, or rub her face in the mud about anything...Letting her do her own thing and I expect the same respect from her. She did stop texting me so much about her pity party. I did end up telling her that I was talking to a girl that I did like, and likes me back, however we have not even kissed (this is the complete truth) and it really made her very sad. I reminded her of all the shitty things shes said to me. things like, "i cant believe i ended up with a guy that doesn't work out!, or "I love you but im not in love with you" "I need you to make me like you again" yep...then she says I take what she says out of context and gaslights me a bit. I laugh and walk away. No reason to argue with a zombie.

Kids are keeping me busy with school and such.

Just waiting for her to get served...seems like its taking forever. I am assuming there are a lot of divorces right now due to covid lol.

Night times are the hardest. Very depressing sometimes. Not all the time. If I speak with friends, male or female it helps me get thru the nights.

1 day at a time

I can only control myself

things WILL get better

[This message edited by subverted at 8:36 AM, September 8th (Tuesday)]

"i cant believe i ended up with a guy that doesn't work out!, or "I love you but im not in love with you" "I need you to make me like you again" yep...then she says I take what she says out of context and gaslights me a bit.

It would be interesting if you posted what HER context of telling you "I need you to make me like you again" That ought to be an interesting creative writing assignment.

that’s the spirit homey... they WILL get better. good that your breaking the habit. over time, you’ll wonder how you used to swallow that bullshit. you’re gonna have some tough times like that for a while, but less and less will eventually turn to none. the silence in my living room used to sound like a freight train, but now it sounds like peace and quiet, time and progression my friend... don’t stress on the end result, focus on the progress... glad to hear ya takin steps towards the daylight

How are you holding up Sub?

Subverted, earlier on you said that your WW threatened suicide or had thoughts of suicide. Do you still have those text? If you can, find those. Show those to the court, and you will get primary custody of your children. Her being with a sexual predatory and her mental state would make any judge think twice about giving her primary custody.

On a side note, you sound kind of immature. You have kids dude, cut the bullshit out. No side pussy right now, and no getting swayed by the WW every time you go over to pick up the kids. Think about the kids and your divorce first. She is not a healthy person. You will find someone else, but handle your business without distractions. Good luck to you.

Just be carful with the children and the felon. Some use married women to get close to the children. Can there be a morality clause about him being around for sleepovers when the children are there?

Listen to Westway’s advice.

One day at a time

[This message edited by Buffer at 7:07 AM, September 14th (Monday)]

I am hanging in there guys...

Shit is kind of hitting the fan.

My lawyer has received all the paperwork to serve her last week. Radio silence. I contacted him today about the recent happenings I will explain later. You think for a 3500 dollar retainer he would be a little more helpful.

Anyways, She has been complaining about her car...It has a battery issue and will drain over night. I have worked on it a few times but still have not found the issue. She is demanding I buy her a new car. I said I will trade that one in, but she will take my truck, and i the newer vehicle since my commute has not quadrupled in length to work and kids school. She is using the kids as leverage, "poor me, I need a vehicle for the kids, to find a job, and get groceries and you wont help me" I offered a few different forms of help including GIVING her my truck that I own outright... She is such a diva that my truck tho reliable is not good enough for her.

She also has had her father come over to make a few repairs on the house since she will not leave to allow me to. While he was there they changed the lock on my front door, and claim to only have 1 key...

All I can do is hope I hear from my lawyer soon...And avoid talking to her at all costs. She gaslights me when I do. She even went as far as saying im losing it, and shes going to contact me mother and tell her shes worried about me... LOL I hope she does.. my mother would have a field day.

Anyway theres more...but this is the jist.

She still thinks the divorce isnt happening and this is a 6 month cool off period so when I am not so mad at her for cheating I will come rejoice!!!

Shes crazy.

She forgot to pack the kids shoes for school, so this morning on my way to drive the kids to school i stopped by the house. She was in the downstairs bathroom and i saw her run upstairs from the corner of my eye. She was wearing lingerie, and bright red lipstick. LOL!!! at 7am... She must of gotten so tired from cam girling (which she denies) that she left her knee high pumps in the middle of the kitchen floor too.

So messed up guys...so messed up.

She forgot to pack the kids shoes for school, so this morning on my way to drive the kids to school i stopped by the house. She was in the downstairs bathroom and i saw her run upstairs from the corner of my eye. She was wearing lingerie, and bright red lipstick. LOL!!! at 7am... She must of gotten so tired from cam girling (which she denies) that she left her knee high pumps in the middle of the kitchen floor too.

So messed up guys...so messed up.

Oh dear!

Fire your attorney and find another post-haste. You need a shark attorney.

Your WW is a fucking loon. Hence why you need a shark attorney. She has no right to lock you out of your home.

Her car issue is likely the alternator. She can find someone to fix it; she fired you from that job.

Others will be along with better advice than I can provide...

But he paid already no? Can get a refund?

She forgot to pack the kids shoes for school, so this morning on my way to drive the kids to school i stopped by the house. She was in the downstairs bathroom and i saw her run upstairs from the corner of my eye. She was wearing lingerie, and bright red lipstick. LOL!!! at 7am... She must of gotten so tired from cam girling (which she denies) that she left her knee high pumps in the middle of the kitchen floor too.

If you can find evidence of her camming online, try to get screenshots or even video footage. Leverage, lad.. leverage. After all, she can't keep you from being a customer, can she?