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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 11:32 AM on Saturday, June 11th, 2022
Me turning her away... what does that say about me, as a man?
This does not make you a bad person.
Let’s reverse the roles and you are in an abusive relationship. Your spouse physically abuses you.
Do you think it’s wrong to leave that relationship?
Assuming the answer is no, then why is it wrong to D a lying cheating wife? Divorce doesn’t have to be ugly or nasty. You can D and still be friends (if you choose) and co-parent together.
Turning her away for lying and cheating and exposing your children to a very dangerous person does not make you a bad person at all. I hope you know that.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:13 PM on Saturday, June 11th, 2022
You ask a very interesting question. I'm going to turn it around: what do you think it says about you as a man?
I ask, because I'm dealing with a similar issue.
Thanks.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
morningglory ( member #80236) posted at 5:46 PM on Saturday, June 11th, 2022
Me turning her away... what does that say about me, as a man?
It says you're a man with self-respect, who will not accept being lied to, cheated on, or otherwise mistreated. It says he cares enough about his children to model for them that when someone mistreats you, that you don't stick around for second and third helpings. You protect yourself and leave. It's a good lesson for those kids to see.
GoldenR ( member #54778) posted at 7:53 PM on Saturday, June 11th, 2022
You guys are replying to a post that the OP hasn't updated in over a year.
I imagine a lot has changed.
Let's give him a chance to update us as he requested mods to bump the thread, so it should be forthcoming.
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