A lot of new revelations to vent about in my public "journal"
This forum really has been a game changer and I am so happy the person (whoever you were) on Reddit guided me here. All I can say to you all, you know who you are, is thank you so very much for your critical advice.
Trying to stay positive here.
Some days are harder than others, But my family has been by my side more than I can ever ask for. My mother has even been taking care of the child exchanges so that I can avoid seeing her and causing conflict.
She text me the other day, stating that her AP is no longer talking to her, and I "scared" him off, and sabotaged her life....She also stated that, a person that is very close with her AP sent her a text stating that this man has mental disorders. He comes with a "wake". They said that he is basically a 40 year old man stuck in a 16 year old's brain. He does not know the gravity of the situation's that he gets into. He is like a tornado, and anyone who can wrangle him in should get a Nobel prize..
She went on to explain that she is very depressed that she ruined her life, and her family over such a man, and questioned why she ever felt, and still does feel, the strong feelings she has for him. I question that too, because Not only me, but her parents and close friend also told her that the guy is bad news. This was back in May...She even told me that he does not seem "right" in the head... Should of taken your own advice then sweetheart...
She told me, all this information was a day late, that she had already lost me...Yes you did.
This makes it very hard for me, lots of stress. She feels like it is completely fine to have sex with men in our marital bed. And claims that if it was me living in the house, I would do the same...I even spoke with the girl I am seeing about this, and we both agreed we would not want to step foot in that house let alone try and live there after she did. Just plain wrong. Not sure why she does not see this.
She tells me that she cannot stand being celibate, and alone. She needs to have a man. She gets real nasty and tells me about how a "26 year old" is talking to her... Likes to rub it in to make me feel jealous.. To top things off, a lady friend of mine sent her a text stating something along the lines of "you cheating bitch, you left a great man and now have nothing" so of course, that came back at me with aggression and threats.
She claims that she has no where to go...That she cannot move into her moms house right now because the basement is not yet converted into an apartment. She says she needs the money from the house that we sell in order to move out....
This causes me a ton of anxiety. I have since blocked her phone from texting or calling me, and I have not heard from her in a day. Which is a long time since she mostly starts sending me texts non stop from 9am to 3am.
She still has not found a job, and claims that selling weed is her new job. (illegal here in MI without the proper license)
Not sure what's next in the court process, but we are now about 3 months in and it really needs to start hurrying up. I think I will feel better the weeks I have the kids and I do not have no worry about who she is bringing over to my house, where my kids stay, to have sex with in my bed. Its just a sore spot for some reason...Need to get over it. Told her to only contact me if there is an emergency through my mother.
Meanwhile I am spending a lot of time with new girl. I remember when I first realized that I will be single, feeling that I didn't want another women... That I would never find a women who is on my level of reality. She fits the bill so perfectly. Same mindset, Same witty, dry humor, same goals in life. She has been single for 8 years, so for her its the polar opposite. Like I have said, I know it seems very soon to be in a relationship, but I just love being around her.
We also spoke a bit about the future, when the D is over....
We kind of get the best of both worlds. 1 week we will have both of our kids to spend time with, and the next week we will be able to have 1 week to focus on us. It is kind of an ideal setup...
So that is basically the glue holding me together right now